InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Ew.. I stepped in something"

Tear Grants (mysterymelody) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2013-09-18 18:35:00

Entry tags:

:mingle, annabelle, buffy summers, hei, hikaru hitachiin, kitty pryde (aoa), matt donovan, sougo okita, spencer reid, tear grants, toul, yuuki kuran

[Day 237] Fear of Abandonment Therapy mingle
[The call to those placed in abandonment therapy simply says to head to the Sector 5 prayer facility, and that's all-- not even that this has to do with those insecure feelings of yours. Posted arrows point the way down to the meditation room that has been filled up with several tables, two completely lined with coffees, teas, and bite sized refreshments ranging from cookies and pastries to sliced fruit and veggies. Plates and napkins are stacked up, and if you want a fork, they're there too.

The third table is larger and round, for that feeling of closeness, with chairs set up and for each seat a set of papers is waiting neatly on the table surface along with a pen. Topmost is a questionnaire with instructions to put detailed responses, be honest, and discuss with another attendee, with questions such as:

Do you get anxious if you cannot see or speak to someone close to you at any given moment?
Are you constantly haunted by the idea that someone may eventually leave you?
Do you put up with negative or even abusive behavior from someone just to keep from being alone?
Did someone important to you exit your life when you were young? How did you feel?
What exactly are you afraid of, beyond the indistinct label of "being abandoned"?

The second is a page with the heading "Make a list of all the people in your life, and determine how devastated you would be if those people left and why. Try to cut the unhealthy relationships, and distance a bit from even the good to build your independence!" and a few extra blank sheets of paper in case the one isn't enough.

Small cards are also scattered in the center of the table, printed with positive tips to help the process of healing.

"Often when people are abandoned (whether because someone leaves or even dies), they feel utterly hopeless and helpless. But you are never helpless.

Nothing lasts forever, so enjoy where you're at and whom you're with.

Abandonment issues aren't always easy to recognize, but can be worked through in a loving relationship.

Try to challenge yourself to be alone for extended periods of time without giving into the urge to reach out immediately and connect to someone."

[[ooc: mingle! you know how it goes by now, use these examples or come up with better ones if you want!]]

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bendthekey
2013-10-03 03:57 pm UTC (link)

I think it's more simple than you give it credit for. Humans are not as complicated as we make ourselves out to be. We all need and want the same things, but how we express that it is different. Love, comfort, stability, to know we have people we can turn to...

We fear losing those things, but that just means we hold tighter to what we have. Why is that a bad thing? We shouldn't have to let it go. [So says the girl who is obsessed with never being left alone.]

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bottomless_pit
2013-10-03 04:49 pm UTC (link)

[ He had seen the faults that come from "holding too tight" to ideals, to people. It lead to control, to manipulation. It lead to fear of change and inevitable arguments. It lead to abuse and a slew of things deemed "evil" by the world, even as they clung to their shame. Who was Hei to decry this worry? He had exploited their foibles and clung to them in turn. Logic after all, was not mired in moral action; it disdained it. ]

Why is it bad? [ he shrugged, looking troubled in that moment before smoothing out the worry from his brow. ] Perhaps these are questions better asked of our wardens, or a philosopher. [ he smiled then, both apologetic and wry all in one even as the look did not quite meet his eyes. ] I can't disagree; it was deemed necessary that I attend this session after all.

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bendthekey
2013-10-03 05:07 pm UTC (link)

[Toul only sees it as a means of strength, of caring for those you love and standing by them--of being willing to give of yourself for them again and again. Naive to be sure, but she clings to that view just as tightly.]

I'm sorry, I shouldn't be asking so many questions. I have a terrible habit of it.

[Really, she'll ask questions for hours if someone lets her.] My name is Toul. What's yours?

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	bottomless_pit 2013-10-04 12:04 am UTC (link)
	[ He simply remained zen, smiling at Toul as he bowed slightly in his chair. ] It's nice to meet you, Toul. Please call me Li. It's my preferred name. [ and in truth, he far preferred to be asking the questions, rather then answering them. It was his chosen profession, after all. ] (Reply to this) (Parent)

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