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Tear Grants (mysterymelody) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2013-09-18 18:35:00

Entry tags:

:mingle, annabelle, buffy summers, hei, hikaru hitachiin, kitty pryde (aoa), matt donovan, sougo okita, spencer reid, tear grants, toul, yuuki kuran

[Day 237] Fear of Abandonment Therapy mingle
[The call to those placed in abandonment therapy simply says to head to the Sector 5 prayer facility, and that's all-- not even that this has to do with those insecure feelings of yours. Posted arrows point the way down to the meditation room that has been filled up with several tables, two completely lined with coffees, teas, and bite sized refreshments ranging from cookies and pastries to sliced fruit and veggies. Plates and napkins are stacked up, and if you want a fork, they're there too.

The third table is larger and round, for that feeling of closeness, with chairs set up and for each seat a set of papers is waiting neatly on the table surface along with a pen. Topmost is a questionnaire with instructions to put detailed responses, be honest, and discuss with another attendee, with questions such as:

Do you get anxious if you cannot see or speak to someone close to you at any given moment?
Are you constantly haunted by the idea that someone may eventually leave you?
Do you put up with negative or even abusive behavior from someone just to keep from being alone?
Did someone important to you exit your life when you were young? How did you feel?
What exactly are you afraid of, beyond the indistinct label of "being abandoned"?

The second is a page with the heading "Make a list of all the people in your life, and determine how devastated you would be if those people left and why. Try to cut the unhealthy relationships, and distance a bit from even the good to build your independence!" and a few extra blank sheets of paper in case the one isn't enough.

Small cards are also scattered in the center of the table, printed with positive tips to help the process of healing.

"Often when people are abandoned (whether because someone leaves or even dies), they feel utterly hopeless and helpless. But you are never helpless.

Nothing lasts forever, so enjoy where you're at and whom you're with.

Abandonment issues aren't always easy to recognize, but can be worked through in a loving relationship.

Try to challenge yourself to be alone for extended periods of time without giving into the urge to reach out immediately and connect to someone."

[[ooc: mingle! you know how it goes by now, use these examples or come up with better ones if you want!]]

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	onelevelmeaner 2013-10-01 12:00 am UTC (link)
	You know. [He looks around and whispers. He can't believe he has to say it! It's way too embarrassing!] The...um, sexual stuff... she and Zero got in trouble for. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2013-10-02 05:29 pm UTC (link)
	Oh. That. [ Casual. Like he cares that much. ] No, I wasn't involved in that. [ Obviously. ] I helped her with the concert. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	onelevelmeaner 2013-10-02 08:51 pm UTC (link)
	No... I knew that, but... [Anyway! Moving on, because he would rather not talk about that!] I figured you were referring to the concert. [He nods.] Um. Thanks for helping her, I guess, even though she really ought to know better and stop getting herself in trouble all the time. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2013-10-03 04:32 pm UTC (link)
	From what she told me, that wasn't entirely her fault. [ What do you know. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	onelevelmeaner 2013-10-03 08:16 pm UTC (link)
	Maybe. I try to stay out of their business, because I don't need to get into trouble. I've been here way too long for that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2013-10-05 07:09 pm UTC (link)
	Probably a wise decision... though I suppose there are some situations that you just can't avoid. She got hurt, didn't she? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	onelevelmeaner 2013-10-05 11:58 pm UTC (link)
	I mean... she and Zero play fight with each other, but I don't think she's gotten all that hurt. We'd have to kick him out if he hurt her! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2013-10-08 06:29 pm UTC (link)
	I don't think she would've been punished for getting hurt if it wasn't severe enough... would she? [ Is he causing trouble with this? ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	onelevelmeaner 2013-10-08 11:01 pm UTC (link)
	That would make sense, yes. [He rubs this neck.] But sometimes the wardens are a bit overdramatic, too. I wonder if perhaps they just caused too much of a scene. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2013-10-10 04:15 pm UTC (link)
	You think? Huh... I guess I haven't really noticed that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	onelevelmeaner 2013-10-10 08:16 pm UTC (link)
	Yes! I mean, I'm of the opinion that long-time criminals should be people who have harmed or killed others. While I can admit that I was a bully for some time, the worst I've done is insult people and make them cry. That's the extent of the horrible things I've done! A prison sentence for this long seems way too harsh and completely unfair! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2013-10-11 04:35 pm UTC (link)
	[ Well, this was an interesting shift in conversation. Excuse him while he shifts in his seat, leaning forward some with great enthusiasm. ] I take it you really believe this is a prison, then? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	onelevelmeaner 2013-10-11 11:59 pm UTC (link)
	Sometimes I do... I've been here so long that I feel trapped! I hate not having the freedom to live my life normally! [He lets out a frustrated sigh.] But as I said, the friends I've made here are really great, and sometimes I forget I'm in a prison... But when I remember, it pisses me off! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2013-10-13 06:31 am UTC (link)
	Well... sure. We're prisoners, but is it a prison? Like you said, most of us aren't exactly criminals. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	onelevelmeaner 2013-10-13 09:20 pm UTC (link)
	No. [He wiggles a finger at Reid.] It's a pseudo-prison. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2013-10-15 07:55 pm UTC (link)
	Care to elaborate? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

onelevelmeaner
2013-10-15 11:11 pm UTC (link)

Everything is free. We have the freedom to do anything we wish as long as we don't break any rules, whether it's throw parties, play games, cause a little mischief if we feel like it. But! [He makes a fist.] As I mentioned before, we are trapped. Despite having some freedom, we are treated like criminals, what with being referred to as "inmates," arriving with jumpsuits, a ball and chain, and sometimes it even goes beyond that.

[Now the hand to his chin.]

What it all boils down to is this: When we enter this place, it feels like a prison. Once you get the hang of it, make some friends, it can feel like some sort of vacation, until you either mess up or get stuck here a long time. It's a contradiction, in a way. We have the freedom to do as we wish, while being trapped at the very same time.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2013-10-17 04:53 pm UTC (link)
	[ Nodding. This is a concept he's been toying with for months now and any chance to discuss it is a good thing. ] Do you perceive yourself as a criminal? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	onelevelmeaner 2013-10-18 12:49 am UTC (link)
	Not at all. [He rubs his temple, growing more frustrated.] Most of my crimes were exaggerated. Despite new wardens coming and going, they all have one thing in common, and it's that they are all overdramatic! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2013-10-20 11:45 am UTC (link)
	Overdramatic and with no concept of circumstances. [ Little sigh. ] It makes me wonder if there isn't a whole different purpose with this. It's only a prison in name, when you think about it. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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