InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "OOOOOO....SHINEY"

Tear Grants (mysterymelody) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2013-09-18 18:35:00

Entry tags:

:mingle, annabelle, buffy summers, hei, hikaru hitachiin, kitty pryde (aoa), matt donovan, sougo okita, spencer reid, tear grants, toul, yuuki kuran

[Day 237] Fear of Abandonment Therapy mingle
[The call to those placed in abandonment therapy simply says to head to the Sector 5 prayer facility, and that's all-- not even that this has to do with those insecure feelings of yours. Posted arrows point the way down to the meditation room that has been filled up with several tables, two completely lined with coffees, teas, and bite sized refreshments ranging from cookies and pastries to sliced fruit and veggies. Plates and napkins are stacked up, and if you want a fork, they're there too.

The third table is larger and round, for that feeling of closeness, with chairs set up and for each seat a set of papers is waiting neatly on the table surface along with a pen. Topmost is a questionnaire with instructions to put detailed responses, be honest, and discuss with another attendee, with questions such as:

Do you get anxious if you cannot see or speak to someone close to you at any given moment?
Are you constantly haunted by the idea that someone may eventually leave you?
Do you put up with negative or even abusive behavior from someone just to keep from being alone?
Did someone important to you exit your life when you were young? How did you feel?
What exactly are you afraid of, beyond the indistinct label of "being abandoned"?

The second is a page with the heading "Make a list of all the people in your life, and determine how devastated you would be if those people left and why. Try to cut the unhealthy relationships, and distance a bit from even the good to build your independence!" and a few extra blank sheets of paper in case the one isn't enough.

Small cards are also scattered in the center of the table, printed with positive tips to help the process of healing.

"Often when people are abandoned (whether because someone leaves or even dies), they feel utterly hopeless and helpless. But you are never helpless.

Nothing lasts forever, so enjoy where you're at and whom you're with.

Abandonment issues aren't always easy to recognize, but can be worked through in a loving relationship.

Try to challenge yourself to be alone for extended periods of time without giving into the urge to reach out immediately and connect to someone."

[[ooc: mingle! you know how it goes by now, use these examples or come up with better ones if you want!]]

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kitty_has_claws
2013-09-22 06:35 pm UTC (link)

Just my parents. [It's not all that uncommon for Kitty to toss out a shocking or off-putting statement or reply. She often uses honesty as a method of pushing people away—keeping distance. No one gets close. No one gets hurt. Today, she feels like she's being a little less defensive with it and a little more reckless maybe? Still, it just feels easier to put the truth out there than anything else, and she flows along with it even if she is telling this stranger her parents exited her life when she was young.] Unless I still count as young in which case I'll need some time to count. [She is still young by most scales. She just doesn't feel it.]

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neverhurthim
2013-09-22 10:15 pm UTC (link)

[Anna's not at all shocked by her response. She's well acquainted with defense mechanisms, but she doesn't know the girl at all so she's not that concerned about it. She's not about to let people close at this point -- not really. Plus she appreciates the bluntness. No reason to beat around the bush considering they're forced to be there.]

I don't know if you still count as young. How old are you? [Because one thing she knows is that appearances are often very deceiving.]

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	kitty_has_claws 2013-09-23 12:11 am UTC (link)
	Nineteen. [She'd guess she was slightly older than Anna, but she'd be at least a little surprised to learn she was a good distance off the mark.] Thirteen when they died. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

neverhurthim
2013-09-23 08:02 pm UTC (link)

[Thirteen was a young age to lose your parents. She'd lost her dad and her siblings when she was only a year older than that, and human. As awful as that had been, losing her mother, much more recently, had been worse.]

That's still young, I guess, yeah. [She leans back in her chair, looking at the next question on the paper she's holding. She doesn't really want to ask, but she knows participation is mandatory.]

How many people have you lost since then?

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	kitty_has_claws 2013-09-29 05:18 pm UTC (link)
	[Kitty, for her part, wasn't human when she lost them. She was never really human. She just thought she was until shortly before all of that.] People I was close to? People on my team? People I was trying to rescue? [She shrugs.] I stopped counting. [The food she's had is definitely making things come a little more smoothly.] What about you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

neverhurthim
2013-09-29 10:27 pm UTC (link)

Any of the above really. [She grimaces at Kitty's response that she's stopped counting. Something else she can relate to. After awhile, she'd stopped allowing herself to get close to other people at all. Until Jeremy Gilbert anyway.]

[She looks away, sighing softly and then tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, uncomfortable even as the words tumble out with little effort.]

My dad. My siblings. My friend Emily. Katherine. There were others over the years but eventually I just shut down. [A pause.] My mom. And...Jeremy. Even though he's not gone gone. He's gone from my life.

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	kitty_has_claws 2013-09-30 01:34 am UTC (link)
	Gone from your life feels a lot like gone. Sometimes it's worse because then there's that lingering threads of hope. [Like with the people still left at home who could show up at any time...but never do. At least not in the way she remembers them.] (Reply to this) (Parent)

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