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Tweak says, "Hello, Sweetie!"

Tear Grants (mysterymelody) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2013-09-18 18:35:00

Entry tags:

:mingle, annabelle, buffy summers, hei, hikaru hitachiin, kitty pryde (aoa), matt donovan, sougo okita, spencer reid, tear grants, toul, yuuki kuran

[Day 237] Fear of Abandonment Therapy mingle
[The call to those placed in abandonment therapy simply says to head to the Sector 5 prayer facility, and that's all-- not even that this has to do with those insecure feelings of yours. Posted arrows point the way down to the meditation room that has been filled up with several tables, two completely lined with coffees, teas, and bite sized refreshments ranging from cookies and pastries to sliced fruit and veggies. Plates and napkins are stacked up, and if you want a fork, they're there too.

The third table is larger and round, for that feeling of closeness, with chairs set up and for each seat a set of papers is waiting neatly on the table surface along with a pen. Topmost is a questionnaire with instructions to put detailed responses, be honest, and discuss with another attendee, with questions such as:

Do you get anxious if you cannot see or speak to someone close to you at any given moment?
Are you constantly haunted by the idea that someone may eventually leave you?
Do you put up with negative or even abusive behavior from someone just to keep from being alone?
Did someone important to you exit your life when you were young? How did you feel?
What exactly are you afraid of, beyond the indistinct label of "being abandoned"?

The second is a page with the heading "Make a list of all the people in your life, and determine how devastated you would be if those people left and why. Try to cut the unhealthy relationships, and distance a bit from even the good to build your independence!" and a few extra blank sheets of paper in case the one isn't enough.

Small cards are also scattered in the center of the table, printed with positive tips to help the process of healing.

"Often when people are abandoned (whether because someone leaves or even dies), they feel utterly hopeless and helpless. But you are never helpless.

Nothing lasts forever, so enjoy where you're at and whom you're with.

Abandonment issues aren't always easy to recognize, but can be worked through in a loving relationship.

Try to challenge yourself to be alone for extended periods of time without giving into the urge to reach out immediately and connect to someone."

[[ooc: mingle! you know how it goes by now, use these examples or come up with better ones if you want!]]

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bendthekey
2013-09-18 08:22 pm UTC (link)

[Toul is so sleep by the time she gets escorted to this meeting, to the point that the tea and coffee are the only things keeping her awake. She'll have to find a way to adjust to the new schedule here somehow.

The questions she is supposed to be answering are rather confusing. They make it sound like she should be expecting everyone she knows to walk out on her--not that she knows that many people. She's only just arrived! But the second page...]

Why would someone ask such intrusive questions? Do they think we deserve to be left behind?

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	bottomless_pit 2013-09-18 11:50 pm UTC (link)
	[ Hei glanced over, not recognizing the new face ] I think they wish us to contemplate the root of our fears. No one deserves to be abandoned. [ well... not if they're normal. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bendthekey 2013-09-22 11:50 am UTC (link)
	[Her ears had slid down at topic but perk up a bit when he speaks to her.] But...doesn't everyone fear being left behind in one way or another? Who likes being alone? [She does not believe anyone could truly be so solitary as to want others to leave them.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bottomless_pit 2013-09-24 10:57 pm UTC (link)
	[ Hei shifted, smoothing down the new creases in his jeans to ease them into comfort. It was a useless endeavor however; there was no ease in this conversation. ] There's being alone, and being alone. It's not always a choice. [ And it's not always a wish. After he had lost everything, for a while, he had thought solitude was better. How wrong he had been. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bendthekey 2013-09-27 01:21 am UTC (link)
	Oh...I see what you mean. [That's a little sad to think of.] But that makes the fear all the more understandable. They make it sound like it's wrong to feel that way, but we're human. We need people. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bottomless_pit 2013-10-01 11:42 pm UTC (link)
	{ Hei shook his head ] It's never that simple, especially if you lose yourself out of fear. It's easy to hold on to something and much more difficult to let it go. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

bendthekey
2013-10-03 03:57 pm UTC (link)

I think it's more simple than you give it credit for. Humans are not as complicated as we make ourselves out to be. We all need and want the same things, but how we express that it is different. Love, comfort, stability, to know we have people we can turn to...

We fear losing those things, but that just means we hold tighter to what we have. Why is that a bad thing? We shouldn't have to let it go. [So says the girl who is obsessed with never being left alone.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

bottomless_pit
2013-10-03 04:49 pm UTC (link)

[ He had seen the faults that come from "holding too tight" to ideals, to people. It lead to control, to manipulation. It lead to fear of change and inevitable arguments. It lead to abuse and a slew of things deemed "evil" by the world, even as they clung to their shame. Who was Hei to decry this worry? He had exploited their foibles and clung to them in turn. Logic after all, was not mired in moral action; it disdained it. ]

Why is it bad? [ he shrugged, looking troubled in that moment before smoothing out the worry from his brow. ] Perhaps these are questions better asked of our wardens, or a philosopher. [ he smiled then, both apologetic and wry all in one even as the look did not quite meet his eyes. ] I can't disagree; it was deemed necessary that I attend this session after all.

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bendthekey
2013-10-03 05:07 pm UTC (link)

[Toul only sees it as a means of strength, of caring for those you love and standing by them--of being willing to give of yourself for them again and again. Naive to be sure, but she clings to that view just as tightly.]

I'm sorry, I shouldn't be asking so many questions. I have a terrible habit of it.

[Really, she'll ask questions for hours if someone lets her.] My name is Toul. What's yours?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bottomless_pit 2013-10-04 12:04 am UTC (link)
	[ He simply remained zen, smiling at Toul as he bowed slightly in his chair. ] It's nice to meet you, Toul. Please call me Li. It's my preferred name. [ and in truth, he far preferred to be asking the questions, rather then answering them. It was his chosen profession, after all. ] (Reply to this) (Parent)

	doesntdamsel 2013-09-19 01:43 pm UTC (link)
	I think we're supposed to be examining ourselves. They think it's rehab. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bendthekey 2013-09-22 11:52 am UTC (link)
	Rehab? But this is a prison. Rehabilitation through punishment isn't really...like this. [Not that she's ever heard of. ~~Therapy, what is that?~~] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	doesntdamsel 2013-09-24 07:19 pm UTC (link)
	Not Charlie Sheen so I wouldn't have a clue but I think that's what the wardens think of it as. Or how they justify it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bendthekey 2013-09-27 01:22 am UTC (link)
	Charlie...who? Is he another inmate here? [Sorry, but you she has no idea who that is.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	doesntdamsel 2013-09-27 07:32 pm UTC (link)
	No...he's an actor who's been in and out of therapy a gajillion times back home. [ She'll learn to stop using pop culture references eventually. No. She won't. Sorry. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bendthekey 2013-10-03 03:39 pm UTC (link)
	Apologies, but that doesn't make it any easier for me to understand. [Therapy is a relatively unknown concept for her outside of doctors providing treatment after accidents or terrible injuries.] Is communal "therapy" useful in your world for those who seek it? It seems most here would rather not participate. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	_incurable 2013-09-19 10:32 pm UTC (link)
	Probably because they get a kick out of watching us squirm. [Full of hearts and rainbows, that's Zelgadis. Can anyone blame him, he's a walking statue with bad hair!] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bendthekey 2013-09-22 11:56 am UTC (link)
	Are the wardens really so child--[Her words stop. Excuse her staring, but she can't help it! A statue just spoke to her. She's met Oxmen and Horsemen before, but never a talking a statue.] Sir, I don't know if you've noticed but your skin looks like it could use a good sanding. [Oh dear, the food and drink has given her a bit of a loose tongue.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_incurable 2013-09-26 09:47 pm UTC (link)
	[He gives her a glare, but it's mild. He has a certain respect for people who are shocked but polite, even if he's not a fan of it being pointed out.] I've tried sandpaper and steel wool, it's too harsh. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bendthekey 2013-09-27 01:25 am UTC (link)
	Have you tried water at the same time? It did wonders for smoothing out stonework we used for building the new well in the garden. [She might be too presumptuous there with her suggestions.] It just looks very uncomfortable. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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