InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Kiss the insane one! ;)"

Sam Winchester (tallerthanthou) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2013-09-16 17:49:00

Entry tags:

:mingle, bak chang, bro strider, buffy summers, charlotte charles, daniel osbourne, dirk strider, elena gilbert, helen magnus, hikaru hitachiin, ianto jones, jack harkness, jake english, james watson, jean-luc picard, jessica hamby, lacus clyne, lelouch vi britannia, lyle dylandy, martha jones, miranda lotto, rebekah mikealson, rogue, sam winchester, sookie stackhouse, sougo okita, terry mcginnis, yuuki kuran, zero kiryuu

[Day 237] Relationship Issues Group Therapy mingle
[The relationships group therapy attendees will all get a message telling them to report to The Winery in Sector 2. Sadly for them the alcohol is locked away, but there is an assortment of food and non-alcoholic beverages along the bar for consumption. Many of the tables have been cleared out and the chairs rearranged into a circle with booths along the edges for more intimate therapeutic discussions.

And don't forget the party favors! The wardens have left some helpful games and activity ideas to get them started. There's a bowl full of folded slips of papers with various questions.]

How many people have you slept with? Do you regret any of them? Why?

How many relationships have you been in? Why do you think that is?

What was your longest relationship? Most serious? Shortest? Most casual?

Why did your last relationship end?

What do you look for in another person?

Are you happy?

Who is your ideal mate?

What was the biggest problem/complication in your previous or current relationship?

What do you need out of a relationship? Sexual experience?

How long have you been single between relationships? Why do you think it was so long/short?

What is the best way to break up with someone?

Do you believe in soul mates? Do you think you have or will meet yours?

Would you rather spend your life with one important person or several acquaintances? Why?

Are there any similarities between the people you've been with? If so, what are they?

Do you have trouble making choices? Give examples.

Do you think with your heart, your head, or your genitalia? Are you satisfied with this behavior?

Do you have trouble relating to people? If so, in what way?

[In addition to the questions there are cards with various prompts. One explains the game, I Never. Another suggests people pair off and roleplay they are in a relationship and then deal with various scenarios like what do to if one partner flirts with someone else or comes home late without calling.]

Who should do the dishes?

When is it appropriate to discuss getting blue bands/having sex?

When should you move in together if ever?

What do you do if you suspect the other is keeping secrets?

What do you say if your partner comes home with a haircut you don't like?

How do you respond if you find your partner crying?

How do you decide how to spend your time together?

Your partner's family doesn't like you. What do you do?

One of you is critically hurt. How does the other respond?

Your friends don't like the person you're with. What do you say to them? What do you say to your partner?

One of you wants sexual relations and the other does not. How do you balance your needs?

How do you communicate your desire for a particular sexual desire to your partner?

It is your partner's birthday. How do you prepare?

At a party your partner leaves you to socialize with others. How does this make you feel and how do you respond?

How do you show your affection?

(OOC: Mingle style. You are not limited to the questions, scenarios, or games listed above. Assume there are more! I recycled a lot of this from last time so if someone was in this group twice they can feel free to notice, but assume there are lots of questions and prompts, so they probably didn't see them all.)

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trappedinresin
2013-10-24 01:26 am UTC (link)

[Oh don't go saying things now suddenly like enjoying watching her after a conversation like they just had.

Flustered, she still doesn't look at him.]

I might be a while.

[ . . . How in the world can she even prolong this.]

Anyway, you should be busy talking with everyone else about how difficult your relationship problems are. Go on and tell them about how you can't trust your girlfriend because you're convinced she'll cheat on you.

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notamasochist
2013-10-24 02:03 am UTC (link)

[But he really does like watching you. :(

Zero just lifts a brow at her accusations, she gets so worked up by everything.]

Sure, I'll tell random people all about these emotions and feelings I've stashed away and tried to pretend didn't exist for five years. Sounds like something I'd enjoy.

[Oh the sarcasm. It's heavy.]

I never said you'd cheat on me. I said leave.

Not enough.
Lacking.
Unwanted.

Those are my feelings and I think I have very valid reasons for feeling like this. This isn't your burden. It's mine. It's five years of letting you go on and on without saying anything myself. You aren't responsible for my feelings anymore than I am responsible for yours. I accepted all of that.

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trappedinresin
2013-10-24 07:37 am UTC (link)

[It pains her that he thinks so little of himself. In the end those have never been things she's thought of him. It's always been the opposite. Even before she left home with Kaname.]

Zero has never been any of those things. Wasn't it you who pointed out on that day that it sounded like I had desperately needed Zero?

[Her brows knit with emotion]

I-- I don't know why, but sometimes, when I'm around Kaname my head becomes all muddled up and I can't think straight. [A confession, of sorts] Like I-- am spellbound, or something. Suddenly I become just so full of him.

[Her fingers curl] B-But don't mistake me. I don't know why he has that sort of affect, but truly I want to stay with Zero. And it's not because I feel weird, or out of obligation or anything like that. I think the most clearly when I am with you, and I'm telling you exactly what I want. So please... please don't say things like 'Not enough' or 'unwanted'.

Because I have always loved Zero.

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notamasochist
2013-10-24 03:47 pm UTC (link)

[His hand reaches out, the back of his fingers brushing against her cheek gently.]

I know all this. Believe me. From my own tendency to push you away to how you can't even think around that guy. There's no doubt of your feelings. I know how much you love me. But even that I don't feel deserving of a lot of the time and I actually have to try to force myself to just be here and accept. Remind myself that doing things the way I've always done has only hurt both Ichiru and Yuuki.

[He sighs, hoping his point can get through.]

Every day of my life I've struggled with the desire to punish myself for the things I've done, deeming myself as someone who doesn't deserve love. Denying myself the things I've wanted. Withholding affection from those I cared about so I didn't receive anything in return. Never understanding the damage that caused to the ones I cared about until I'd messed them up so bad that they had to do something to make me stop punishing myself.

[His hand drops from her cheek to look away in shame.]

I knew how you felt about him the moment you introduced me. Five years of this being continually verified over and over--that single example is just one of a endless number of them that have been imprinted into my memories.

Defending him to me.
Telling me how much your mind is full of him.
Dragging me along to keep you on track--and I'm standing there in the middle of a love confession between both of you.
Telling me his is the only blood you crave.
Even as recently as when we arrived at your home on our journey--telling me we can't be together and you belong to that guy.

And now we're like this-but I don't even know how any of it happened just that it is and even more--all of that is still there. It hasn't resolved.

Even if you know who he is and know that you can't change him, you still love him.

[His hand reaches up to rub his face, extremely stressed out and emotional.]

Telling me not to feel like this is pointless. I can't control that anymore than Yuuki can control what she feels for that person.

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trappedinresin
2013-10-24 09:18 pm UTC (link)

[None of what he says makes her happy. Gaze heavy, she stares at the pile of papers, neatly placed upon the table now. To hear that he genuinely believes those things, it hurts.

To think that she's contributed to that devastating pain makes it ache even worse. This isn't how a relationship is supposed to work.

Eyes closing, she's quiet, before shaking her head after a moment.]

There's a difference, you know...

[Reaching out, her fingers grasp his hand and curl gently around him.]

Even though you feel that way it isn't true. Zero is deserving of all the happiness.

[It's all she's ever wanted for him. Her grip tightens.]

But there's something I need from you, Zero. I know it's hard, but I... if we want to pursue this relationship, and even just to get bands... [She shakes her head] I need to know that you can trust me. If this isn't equal... and I always worry that you'll be doubting my resolve, I don't know how to do that. I want to be someone that you can rely on and feel safe with.

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notamasochist
2013-10-25 12:05 am UTC (link)

A difference, how? I don't understand any of this.

[He exhales, frustrated in response to her words.]

I don't know how to give you what it is you want. You're asking me for blind faith on something when the majority of evidence I have in front of me is to the contrary.

It's not even something I wish to change in you. It's a part of who you are. But the fact is, if that guy appeared and you forgot the world around you and started following him--I don't know what I'm supposed to do about that.

You're in love with two people, Yuuki. Do I just let you go because you obviously want to be with him and love him and I want you to be happy? Or do I try to stop you because I know you love me too. Right now, I don't even know what you'd want me to do.

That sort of trust your talking about, it takes time and experience to develop. Ours up to this point hasn't been very good for that particular issue and I don't have enough experience to override it yet.

I'm working on it, but it's a slow process. I want to be the only one in your vision but right now I have to accept that I'm not. That's okay for now.

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trappedinresin
2013-10-26 12:26 pm UTC (link)

[There's no denying that she feels low hearing him say it. Both him and Kaname were always so forgiving of the very real fact that she's in love with two.

But it doesn't feel good to hear.

Uncomfortable, she stares at the floor, holding her arm as she draws in on herself.]

I'm sorry... [Quieter] the truth is, I don't even know why Zero wants to remain by my side. All I've done in the past is hurt you... [Her bangs fall down to shield her eyes] You shouldn't... want to be near me. I'm not worth it.

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notamasochist
2013-10-26 11:41 pm UTC (link)

[He's a little irritated at her words, not angry but just chafted at her reaction. His hands actually reach out and pull her arms away from her body, refusing to allow her to turn this all inward like she's trying to.]

Shouldn't those be my lines? There are thousands of things you've done for me--so saying you don't understand why...I've done nothing for you. So I can't understand how after a year absence there are all these new feelings from you.

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trappedinresin
2013-10-27 10:47 am UTC (link)

You made me a stronger person. I was always happy by you.

[Only two of many reasons. The list can extend a mile wide and then some.]

I depended on Zero for everything. I always took for granted that I would have you to rely on. Whenever I felt scared or lost, it was... always easy to go to you. Because you listened, but didn't judge. And... even if I was mistaken on some parts, I had always thought we were the same.

[A weak smile]

That we both lost a lot, but because of those losses we could understand one another, too. I thought because of everything, we could always be there for one another. And I cherished that. But I-- because of all of that, I used you a lot, too.

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notamasochist
2013-11-12 10:15 am UTC (link)

Without Yuuki, I wouldn't be here.

[Don't you understand that? That's something he can't ever repay, no matter how hard he tries. Especially because he hurt her greatly in their parting. The damage of that is something he's not sure how to heal. Trust was broken irrepairably and their relationship just hasn't been the same.]

You were supposed to be fine when you left. I made mistakes. Said things I can't ever take back. Ruined everything we had because of my own issues. I know the things I said hurt you but--when you left you said it was only his blood you desired.

That wasn't the case on your return. Things had changed.

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	trappedinresin 2013-11-24 07:11 pm UTC (link)
	[Absence makes the heart grow fonder? Who can say, in the end. She doesn't really understand her own feelings. That's half the problem. But what she says to him is genuinely sincere.] I know. I realize that. Even... back then I somehow knew that Zero only ever wanted me to be happy. [She smiles weakly.] But that too... had been part of the problem. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notamasochist 2013-11-25 10:30 pm UTC (link)
	[He knows. Believe him, he knows all that.] You weren't. [So don't fault him for trying to change that now. He doesn't give a crap about that other person and his issues. You are the one that matters.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	trappedinresin 2013-11-30 02:28 am UTC (link)
	Sometimes I don't know how you can say that and believe it. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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