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elena gilbert ([info]matter) wrote in [info]marinanova,
@ 2013-07-29 10:48:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:bonnie bennett, caroline forbes, damon salvatore, elena gilbert, matt donovan, stefan salvatore

day 230: closed for all the tvd peeps!
[ she wakes with a gasp. it's a dream for a moment, the nightmare she's never been able to shake, if not repress. the water in her lungs strangling her, reaching out her hand to say goodbye to her dad, knowing her mom was dead and they were going to die.

the peace she felt, that one moment, letting it all in.

but she doesn't remember only that, waking up.

she remembers matt unconscious next to her, stefan's hands at her seatbelt, the flash of rebekah in front of the truck on the road. her hands grasp the sheets as she sits up, sputters and struggles to breathe. she died. she remembers -

she can't be dead.

elena knows where she is. her situational awareness is confused, but she knows these sheets, she knows this room, she knows the floor she's padding across to stumble into the bathroom. she remembers that. (she remembers stefan telling her she had him and the desolation she felt that night, (she remembers ric - ), she remember damon's hands groping her against a pillar outside a motel room, bonnie's mom dying and her grief and anger. her loneliness, her empty house. everything connecting to that moment on her porch and sending jeremy away.

jeremy. oh god, jeremy. seeing anna and vicki and -

she thinks again about matt. dying beside her.

she turns on the sink, splashes water against her lips and tastes it on her tongue. lifts her eyes to the image in the mirror. the light blinds her like nothing ever has before. she squeezes her eyes shut and looks away. she hears something from the kitchen and winces; it's so loud. her hand comes up to cradle her head.

somehow calm is returning to her amidst the gasping panic and the tears collected in her eyes. those sounds; she knows them. those voices. her friends. ]

Caroline. [ it's not said loudly - not by a long shot. but she knows caroline will hear it. ]


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[info]matter
2013-07-29 05:17 pm UTC (link)
[ it's a lifeline. caroline's hands at her wrists, her voice, her conviction. it infuses with elena's own. she's not gonna die. (it's okay she doesn't want to die. and if it's not okay, it's still true. she can't die.) she says nothing, does nothing but search caroline's face and believes her. (she knows she's survived this but somehow knowing means nothing right now. maybe it shouldn't. it can't.)

she nods. she's not sure which she's saying yes to - staying here or going with caroline. maybe neither.

she has to choose what to do. ] Let's get Bonnie.

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[info]amplified
2013-07-29 05:22 pm UTC (link)
[ caroline doesn't know what their future holds but she knows that at least from her experience that elena survives this. although a dark thought passes over her when she remembers how matt and tyler wouldn't speak of the future, what if something goes wrong?

she pushes it from her mind as she concentrates on taking care of her friend.] Bonnie, right. We need to get you a ring and everything. Unless you want a necklace is is fine, they probably have bracelets too, right? [caroline's rambling a bit but she knows it.] Want me to go get her?

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[info]matter
2013-07-29 05:32 pm UTC (link)
[ she won't need it here. but she'll need one at home. caroline needs to ramble, but it's all inconsequential to her. she can't think of it, can't give it actual thought or decide. instead, she nods again.

it's on the tip of her tongue to ask caroline to bring back blood too, but the words get caught in her throat a moment. she blurts them out after a beat, two. ] And blood. [ she can do it. she wants to do it with bonnie and caroline here, if she can choose how. ]

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[info]amplified
2013-07-29 06:08 pm UTC (link)
[ the ring may not be required here but caroline still thinks elena needs one. just in case. things change here a lot, if the past few days were any indication.

so caroline decides she'll ask bonnie before she brings her back in. and at elena's request for blood, she nods, her expression not grim as one might expect but one of understanding.] Yeah, of course. I'll be back, okay? [ she gives her friend's wrists a squeeze before her hands drop from her and she moves to stand, dreading the reaction of their other best friend.

she leaves the room, moving to knock on bonnie's door.] Bonnie? Are you awake?

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[info]medeis
2013-07-29 10:48 pm UTC (link)
[ bonnie was half awake when she heard the knock and caroline's voice at her door. it prompts her to roll out of bed, slip on a nightgown and move quick to see what was going on. ]

Yeah, just a minute. [ she replies as she makes her way towards the door, pulling it open. ] Hey, Caroline. What's up?

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[info]amplified
2013-07-29 10:53 pm UTC (link)
Bonnie. [ there's an urgency in her voice, one that's clear on her face the moment bonnie opens the door.] Elena's... [ caroline takes in a breath.] Elena went home and now she's back and she's... it's happened. [ the whole turning into a vampire thing.] She needs us. She asked for you.

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[info]medeis
2013-07-29 11:11 pm UTC (link)
[ her expression makes bonnie anxious but she knows it's better to let caroline explain before jumping to conclusions. ] Okay. [ the one thing she feared would happen and now she can't reverse it. ] Take me to her. I wanna be there for her, do whatever I can. [ swallow her emotions as best as she could and be practical.]

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[info]amplified
2013-07-29 11:14 pm UTC (link)
Okay. [ she looks at bonnie for a second before she gives her friend a quick hug. then she moves towards elena's room, knocking gently.] Elena? Bonnie's here. I'm gonna go get what you need, okay? [ she glances at bonnie, tilting her head towards the bedroom door.]

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[info]matter
2013-07-29 11:51 pm UTC (link)
[ she doesn't know what to do when caroline leaves the room. she can hear the floorboards beneath her steps, the suddenly deafening ticking of a clock in the living room. she can't listen to it, gets up and finds herself reaching for her communicator -

she needs to call matt. (see him. touch him. know he's alive.) damon. (she wants him here.)

stefan. (everything that happened after...) - everyone.

instead she reaches for the frame next to her bedside light. of her, jeremy, and jenna. (they're happy. alive. human.) caroline's knock jars her and she turns around, places the picture down on her bed. ]

Okay. [ it's as much an invitation for bonnie as it is for caroline. ]

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[info]medeis
2013-07-30 11:56 am UTC (link)
[ while she is brought to elena's room, bonnie tries to think of the right words to say to her. maybe there are no right words because what could say other than she was there for elena? there's no way back from this and she couldn't help but feel a little helpless, even if what she is doing right now is helping. ]

Hey, Elena. [ bonnie calls softly through the door before she pushes it open and steps inside the room. she offers her a reassuring smile- as much as she can at least- and walks towards her friend. ]

I'm here.

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[info]amplified
2013-07-30 05:56 pm UTC (link)
[ caroline leaves them alone for a bit, moving to her room to get a bag of blood from her fridge and a mug from the kitchen.]

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[info]matter
2013-07-31 10:56 am UTC (link)
[ elena doesn't doesn't need any right words. right now, she just wants her best friend. she wants bonnie. she never wanted to be this. (she doesn't want to become the thing bonnie despises, the thing her very existence is on this earth to balance, what's caused her so much pain and suffering.)

she's going to be a vampire. she's still for a moment, tears collecting in her eyes when bonnie walks in. it's only when bonnie is halfway to her that elena walks forward to embrace her. ]

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[info]amplified
2013-07-31 11:14 am UTC (link)
[ when caroline comes back to this scene, she hangs back against the door frame, watching carefully, waiting to give them both time to let this process. the very petty part of her is jealous of the fact that elena has so many people to take care of her during her when caroline was so very alone. but at the same time, she's relieved for her friend, relieved that they can be there for her.]

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[info]medeis
2013-07-31 03:38 pm UTC (link)
[ bonnie slips her arms around elena and holds onto her tightly, reluctant to let her go or say anything just yet. she looks at caroline for a few moments, mouthing a small 'thank you' to the other girl before she focuses on again.

she'll talk to caroline alone when she gets the chance because they needed to and bonnie wanted to see how she was doing. really doing. ]

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[info]matter
2013-07-31 07:03 pm UTC (link)
[ no matter what happens, no matter what she is, at least they're friends, sisters, like they've always been. it's the one comfort elena holds onto as she holds onto bonnie. she doesn't close her eyes, can't, only does when bonnie's arms are tight around her and she's just as reluctant to let go.

she says nothing, has nothing and everything to say all at one.

it's only a few moments later, when she hears a creak of floorboards where caroline is waiting, that elena pulls back to see the blood bag in caroline's hands. she blinks back tears and feels a sudden closing of her throat. elena glances up to caroline and back at bonnie for reassurance. (what is she doing? she can't be a vampire. she can't choose this.

she is. she has to.) ]

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[info]amplified
2013-08-01 11:24 am UTC (link)
[ caroline gives both of her friends as best of a reassuring smile as she can muster. she knows that they'll get through this, she's already been through this at home. she just hopes that here, maybe, elena will be able to drink blood not from just the vein, this place changes you and maybe it'll make it less traumatic for her if she doesn't have to bite someone.

she takes a step forward, letting elena know she's ready to help when she's ready to drink.]

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[info]medeis
2013-08-01 06:18 pm UTC (link)
[none of this would be easy for elena. but she has the strength and the determination to get through it; both caroline and bonnie knew that. they had witnessed it on several occasions. this might just take longer to adjust to.

she steps back from elena to give her space, giving her an encouraging look and a nod to go ahead. ]

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[info]matter
2013-08-01 08:16 pm UTC (link)
[ it's now. caroline's step forward, bonnie's step back; she looks between them, presses her lips together. it registers what they're waiting for, what this is and feels a squeeze in her chest. for a moment she can only look at them and remember a time when this wasn't their lives. try to. (she can't envision what their lives will be; there are no answers past this moment.)

she reaches out to accept the bag from caroline. the blood is cold in her hands, and she looks at it a moment before lifting her head to bonnie, tears shining in her eyes. ]

You'll have to invite me in. [ she remembers what happened to elijah, how he couldn't seem to breathe. it's a practical request, one that makes this more real. she needs another moment. she needs that reassurance. ]

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[info]amplified
2013-08-02 12:52 am UTC (link)
[ caroline steps forward to hand the bag over, her eyes avoiding bonnie because she still remembers how bonnie was after she turned, the anger there. and a part of her felt hurt that bonnie is more understanding now. but a bigger part of her, the less petty part, is happy and proud of her friend.

at elena's words, caroline nods.] It'll be okay. [ not exactly but caroline will make it so.]

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[info]medeis
2013-08-04 04:27 pm UTC (link)
[ bonnie nods in understanding. ] I know, Elena. I will. Promise. [ she wouldn't blame caroline for being a little hurt about her reaction to what happened to elena. bonnie was a different person back then and her views on vampires were pretty straightforward. Now though? They had changed.

she glances over at caroline for a moment, looking apologetic before looking back at elena. ] You'll be fine, Elena. None of us are going anywhere.

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[info]matter
2013-08-18 04:50 pm UTC (link)
[ she wants to believe them both - has to. she decides to, decides she's doing this regardless and she has them both by her side, despite all her doubts and fears. (she's not alone.) she doesn't pause past that moment, looking between them and letting their reassurances settle over her. tears drip down her cheeks, too thick to be stilled as she grabs the bag with her teeth, rips it open -

blood stains her lips, touches her tongue. she manages a hasty swallow before the taste assails and chokes her. elena coughs, sputters. blood overflows onto her hands because her gums swell; she hears and feels the veins around her eyes come alive.

the desire for more.

she stumbles back, disgusted, crying, sits back on her bed. ]

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[info]amplified
2013-08-18 05:01 pm UTC (link)
[ caroline watches as elena moves to grab the bag. she feels that natural instinct, that lurch in her stomach to snatch the bag for herself but it's easy to fight, she's always been good at fighting. she knows how hard this is although for her, she felt like a total freak because she had no idea why she wanted blood so bad that first time. still, she wrings her hands for a moment as elena takes that first sip, feeling the veins beneath her own eyes starting to shift just a little. but she fights them back as she takes a step forward when elena chokes, sputters. ]

Hey, it's--- [ caroline senses it, the change in her body before she sees the veins beneath elena's eyes turn dark, the veins moving darkly beneath the surface.]

You're okay, you're okay. [ she grabs a towel that's hanging on the back of the door (they'll get a new one) moving to help elena, offering it to her.] You did it.

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