InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "What."

He may be Vader someday later, but now he's (justasmallfry) wrote in makebelievelog,
@ 2013-10-03 18:24:00

Entry tags:

ickle anakin skywalker, obi-wan kenobi

Who: Ani and Obi-Wan
What: Obi-Wan has some things to discuss with Ani
When: Thursday afternoon
Where: There rooms
Rating/Warnings: Probably low – one embarrassed Jedi.
Status: In progress/closed

Ani shut his chemistry textbook with dramatic fashion. He didn’t hate chemistry in the slightest, in fact he usually loved equations, in all their forms – so neat and ordered with definite solutions he could puzzle out, why couldn’t the world be more like that? But he was still a boy of thirteen and there came a point when even his brain needed different stimuli.

Thankfully, that was his last bit of homework.

“I’m done with my homework, Master. Can I go find Helena?”

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	master_kenobi 2013-10-03 11:24 am UTC (link)
	"It's not about trust, Anakin. You know I trust you," Obi-Wan responded. "I just don't understand why you're so interested in something you don't want to do. Shouldn't you focus those energies on your training and schooling?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	justasmallfry 2013-10-03 11:33 am UTC (link)
	Ani didn’t unfold his arms. This sure felt like he was being scolded for only possessing curiosity, and that felt like Obi-Wan didn’t trust him. “I’ve been getting all my homework done and doing whatever training you give me. I’m doing what I promised I would do.” (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	master_kenobi 2013-10-03 11:37 am UTC (link)
	"Is that all your training is about? Ticking off boxes?" Obi-Wan asked. "Yes, you're doing what I've asked. I appreciate it. All I'm asking now is for you to explain why knowing this is so important to you and the only answer you've given me so far is 'because it is'." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

justasmallfry
2013-10-03 11:52 am UTC (link)

Ani’s mouth dropped slightly. He hadn’t meant it to sound like that; he had just wanted to show he was keeping his word, like he said he would.

The answer was - it was fun to attempt to figure it out, playing these guessing games with Helena where they could suggest the most egregious possibility and work their way back from the end and disprove the theory. It was a puzzle, their puzzle to understand. Because it was silly.

But now thinking it through under his Master’s scrutiny it sounded foolish, and he felt foolish, like he was wrong for exercising deductive reasoning skills in this manner. And anyway he explained it would just sound ridiculous. Jedi didn’t have fun, even in their personal time.

“We just want to know what happens. That’s all,” he said.

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	master_kenobi 2013-10-03 12:01 pm UTC (link)
	He nodded. "All right. Fair enough." He had a feeling there was more to it than that, but Ani was becoming defensive and that wasn't productive. "But no experiments, right?" he added as his final caveat. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	justasmallfry 2013-10-03 12:06 pm UTC (link)
	Ani wanted to ask if that meant not even scaled models and tests done on material similar to the tower but done away from the tower. But he already felt defeated and didn’t want any more censure. “Fine… Are we done now?” (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

master_kenobi
2013-10-03 12:12 pm UTC (link)

Obi-Wan felt distinctly like he'd damaged relations over a subject that they should have been in agreement on. But he didn't know what to do about that. He sank further back in his seat.

"About that: yes. But there's one more thing I want to talk to you about." He ran a hand over his face. If this was going to go as well as that did, he wasn't sure he could go through with it. But he'd promised he would.

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	justasmallfry 2013-10-03 12:21 pm UTC (link)
	Ani gritted his teeth and remained silent, waiting, preparing for the worst. If the last part was any indication of what was to come, he should expect more scolding. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	master_kenobi 2013-10-03 12:27 pm UTC (link)
	Obi-Wan could feel that Anakin was on edge. Could practically feel his teeth gritting. He steeled himself. "I'm sure you recall a conversation we had a little while ago after I returned from visiting Master Tachi. ...You thought something was wrong." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	justasmallfry 2013-10-03 01:03 pm UTC (link)
	Ani nodded, and added, “Yes, I remember.” Still expecting this to go sour in the next moment. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

master_kenobi
2013-10-03 01:17 pm UTC (link)

"Well there is some history there that you're perhaps not aware of." He could still feel Ani's frustration with him and it made him even more nervous and hesitant. He tried to shove it down as he continued. "Many years ago, during a mission, while we were padawans, she and I... became aware that we were harbouring feelings of attachment for each other." He watched Anakin's face carefully, gauging his reaction.

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	justasmallfry 2013-10-03 01:28 pm UTC (link)
	“Okay.” Ani’s eyebrows knitting together. This was started to get convoluted – only because he was expecting to be scolded and this was quite the detour from that. What did his Master’s attachments have to do with anything? Well, he might as well ask. “What does this have to do with me doing something wrong?” (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	master_kenobi 2013-10-03 01:30 pm UTC (link)
	Obi-Wan, disturbed from his already difficult task just blinked at his apprentice for a moment. "Nothing. Why would you think that?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	justasmallfry 2013-10-03 01:41 pm UTC (link)
	“Because that’s what you’re doing. You got upset about the- about me just wanting to know how the tower is destroyed,” he sighed. “And now you’re telling me what else I’ve got wrong.” (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

master_kenobi
2013-10-03 01:51 pm UTC (link)

Obi-Wan frowned. "What? I believe you don't wish to destroy the tower, Anakin. I was giving you advice to help you in that regard. Which you weren't interested in hearing, thank you."

He stood restlessly.

"Maybe now isn't a good time for this conversation," he concluded.

He could put it off a little longer, right? This... apparent misunderstanding wasn't conducive to having this conversation. He would tell him. ...Just at a better time. At a time when they weren't already at odds. He should make sure he brings it up when they don't have anything else to discuss. Right. That would foster more of an understanding...

Or was he just considering putting it off because of the clutch of nerves still roiling in his belly?

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justasmallfry
2013-10-03 02:34 pm UTC (link)

“That wasn’t advice. You were scolding me for things I haven’t even done yet, and because I just wanted to learn something and figure it out. And because you thought I wasn’t taking training seriously.”

He wanted to get up himself, he’d sat too long, first doing his homework, now through this, and his agitation was demanding an outlet. Sitting wasn’t that outlet. But he didn’t move before Obi-Wan gave him permission to leave.

“If we’re done, can I go to my room?” This upset, losing himself in something mechanical sounded like the only option to calm him.

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master_kenobi
2013-10-03 02:49 pm UTC (link)

"I wasn't scolding you, Anakin! I just wanted to make sure we were in agreement. Everyone at that party said you two were practically destined to blow up the tower. They said you wouldn't be able to help it. I told them you absolutely could and that you would. I said it wouldn't happen because you take your responsibilities seriously. If defending you to other people isn't a demonstration of trust, then what is? And if we can't discuss something important - to clarify the situation - without you thinking that I'm accusing you of something, then you may go to your room." He smoothed a hand over his beard. "The... other thing I wanted to talk about can wait. It's personal. It's not important."

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justasmallfry
2013-10-03 03:27 pm UTC (link)

Ani felt like he’d been slapped in the face. He jumped his feet, hurt radiating off of him.

He backed away, “If you trust me why did you keep asking why I want to know like I have some hidden plan? I was being honest the first time. But ya, I’m just imagining that whole conversation just happened.”

Hurt quickly changed to anger. He shook his head and then retreated to his room. It took him a moment to approach the project in the corner, he had an intense urge to throw or kick something, but he didn’t want to break what he was currently working on. To his credit, it was an exercise in controlling his emotions. At least he’d managed that much. When he wasn’t seeing red spots anymore he went to lose himself in his current project until he was requested to stop.

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master_kenobi
2013-10-03 03:43 pm UTC (link)

Obi-Wan didn't follow him. He sank back into his chair, running the whole situation back through his mind to try and find where he'd gone so horribly wrong.

He wanted to go to Siri, but he didn't think it was wise to leave when Anakin was still radiating such volatile emotions, though they seemed to be starting to come under control. The other reason, of course, was that he still hadn't explained that little situation to the boy. He should have started that way. Maybe by the time that storm blew over, the Tower wouldn't even seem worth addressing and at least he could seek refuge next door.

So instead he leaned his head back and closed his eyes and looked for her in the Force, locating her warm presence. Her words, sent through the Force only for him on the rooftop floated back into his consciousness. It's okay, Obi-Wan...

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justasmallfry
2013-10-03 08:41 pm UTC (link)

Ani wasn’t sure how long he’d been left in his room, he didn’t count the minutes or hours while he worked. Eventually he sat back on his heels and looked at the device he was creating. His thoughts were centered, his emotions cooled to the point he didn’t think about them.

“I don’t know, Artoo,” he said to his astromech droid. R2 responded with a twittering prod – not encouraging, more like challenging him. Ani smiled, understanding the droid because of his unique ability in the Force. “But you swear- a lot. I don’t know if I should give you the ability to tell people off in Basic.”

He let R2 chatter on while he continued to work comfortably.

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	master_kenobi 2013-10-03 08:57 pm UTC (link)
	Obi-Wan balanced the tray on one hand as he knocked softly on Ani's door. His ire had died and he'd been doing...whatever it was he was doing for several hours. He had to be hungry. Obi-Wan brought him a bowl of soup, a chunk of bread and a mug of hot chocolate. The chocolate was by way of apology for whatever it was he'd done to rile the boy so badly. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	justasmallfry 2013-10-03 09:39 pm UTC (link)
	Lost in his work Ani simply stretched out with the Force and opened the door. It was only when he saw Obi-Wan that he remembered himself. His smile for R2 froze and he stood up, looking contrite. “Sorry,” he bit the inside of cheek. “I know I’m not supposed to use the Force for frivolous things.” (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	master_kenobi 2013-10-03 09:48 pm UTC (link)
	Obi-Wan was so preoccupied with how he was going to broach his difficult subject again, he barely noticed. "What?" Then he glanced at the door. "Oh." He shook his head and put the tray down on Anakin's end table. "I thought you might want something to eat." He could just leave the tray and go... Now might not be any better a time than a few hours ago. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

justasmallfry
2013-10-03 10:33 pm UTC (link)

“Oh.” Ani looked to the tray and suddenly realized he was hungry. He didn’t usually forget about food. The feeling of hunger was one of his least favorite sensations. It reminded him of Tatooine. But sometimes he could get so wrapped up in his projects, especially when he was working through emotions, that, without thinking to do so, he pushed aside needs like eating, sometimes sleeping, just to reach the end of project goals or until his emotions had been work out.

He watched Obi-Wan, knew there was a tangible contention lingering between them, but he didn’t know how to dissipate it any more than his Master did.

“Thank you.” He knew the least he could do was to show appreciation for this. He approached the tray of food. “I am hungry.”

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master_kenobi
2013-10-03 10:49 pm UTC (link)

"You're welcome." Part of him wanted to spit it out to get it over with and part of him hoped he didn't have to talk about it at all. He spotted whatever it was Ani was working on.

"What's that?" he asked, partly out of genuine curiosity and partly to change a subject Anakin didn't even know they were on. He hoped it sounded like he wanted to know and not like he was suspicious.