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Daryl Dixon ([info]littledixon) wrote in [info]makebelievelog,
@ 2013-05-28 06:11:00

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Entry tags:!complete, carol peletier, daryl dixon

Who: Daryl and Carol
What: After this less than stellar exchange, Daryl has some making up to do.
When: Tuesday, May 28. Evening.
Where: Daryl & Carol's quarters, the gardens, and who knows where else!
Rating/Warnings: Daryl makes everything R with that mouth of his.
Status: COMPLETE/Closed.

Daryl knew that he should have spent his evening working. Anakin or Tifa could have easily used his help despite neither of them actually keeping him on any sort of schedule or payroll. He could have just found one of the menial jobs that he had picked up around this fucked up place and dived into it headfirst, giving him no time to think about all of the shit going on. He'd passed the information onto Rick. He knew what he had to do. Now, Daryl had nothing else left to focus on. He could just go back to the same isolated existence he had come to know. It was the perfect chance to fade back to what he had grown comfortable with over the years, a habit he had started to break out of as he had become close with each of the group as they shared their space, sorrows, and laughter.

But Daryl wasn't the same man that had moved his camp away from the group as far as possible as he tried to find a means of escape from the fucked up farm. He wasn't the same man that was two seconds from putting an arrow through T-Dog's skull for dropping the key to his brother's handcuffs. He was someone else entirely now, a better man most would say, and this new identity made it impossible for him not to find this isolation to be as suffocating as any jail cell.

In his effort to bring the group closer together, he'd managed to tear them further apart. Great fucking job, Dixon.

Usually, he’d not make an effort. He’d stomp up into whatever damn corner he could find and wait it out, wait for all of the shit to blow over, and then he’d finally reenter the little circle when it looked like everybody was less likely to go on an emotional tirade with him arrive. He’d used this tactic on Lori more than once over the winter, and though he did feel an ache of regret for how little they got along during all of that time now that everything was said and done, the tactic had worked well enough then. It was highly tempting to just follow through with it now. But the world wasn’t ending here, and he’d already realized that without walkers around every damn second to take your mind off of all the shit around you, all you really had left to do was dwell.

Back home, he’d had at least have a hunt to follow through with, a run to go on, a few walkers to kill to ignore the tension between him and Glenn, and him and Carol. Here, all he had was time. Time and his thoughts, and it was slowly starting to chip away at his sanity. If Carol kept ignoring him and only barely acknowledging his presence like she was, he wasn’t sure what he’d do. Glenn – there wasn’t a whole lot he could do about him. He deserved all of the backlash that he got from that situation. His brother, his family, his sins. That was how he’d been raised, and it was how every damn person in his county had treated him. But with Carol—

He’d really fucked it up.

Daryl didn’t know what he was going to do, but he just knew that he had to do something. He marched through the hallways of the castle, having just come in from the outdoors, and headed straight to his new set of quarters that he shared with Carol. That had only been making things worse, making it harder for him to ignore her presence. Sure, Carol was the type of person that understood him to the core. She knew that he wouldn’t always be able to provide her with lengthy conversations about all of the things that must have been in her far more educated mind, but she had never seemed to expect that from him. That had always left their silences to be comfortable and warm; he never tense around her, like he was expected to say something to fill in the gaps of quiet. The silence between them spoke volumes.

And now it was speaking about nothing but pain, hurt, anger, and the unsettled awkwardness. It was louder than any words, and Daryl couldn’t take it anymore.

He threw open the door to their quarters and froze in the doorway when he saw Carol and Lil’ D seated at the sofa. His younger self looked up curiously and just barely contained an eye roll when he saw who it was. Daryl tried to push aside his own annoyance, though that didn’t stop his words from coming out clipped. “Get. Go to Rick’s. I need to borrow Carol.”

“He ain’t there,” Lil’ D pointed out.

“You gotta key, now get,” Daryl snapped.

Lil’ D looked like he wanted to argue, but something about the look on his face made him keep his mouth shut. He shoved the homework he had out (and was mostly ignoring) into his bag before moving to storm out of the quarters, not even looking to Carol to see if she agreed. Daryl watched him go, watching as he stormed off down the hall to Rick’s room.

“And ya better stay there!” he added.

“You’re a dick,” Lil’ D snapped as he got the room open and headed in.

Daryl just rolled his eyes as he looked back into the room where Carol was waiting. He shifted his weight uncertainly from one foot to the other, his hand on the doorknob as he kept the door open, and his back against the doorframe. He cleared his throat gruffly. “So, ya comin’ or what?”



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[info]notmylittlegirl
2013-06-01 11:35 am UTC (link)
"Need?" Carol pretended to think for a moment before she shook her head a bit. "Don't need you to say that, though I could think of some other things I wouldn't mind hearing." Okay, yeah, maybe she was flirting with him a little bit. It was her special brand of flirting and teasing that she only really could do to Daryl. She didn't want to with anyone else. Even though he was generally the sort to brush off some of the things that she said. She still had to say them every so often. She just couldn't help herself. She knew that he never took any of those comments serious, though. Most of her just figured that he was amused, which he generally did seem when she flirted, and that he didn't return it because he didn't know how...or maybe flirting wasn't his thing. Either way, he was the only one that got to see that particular bold side of her.

It was easy to make promises to Daryl, though. And they weren't empty ones. It was easy to keep a promise to Daryl Dixon. Or at least it was for Carol to, anyway. She knew it was because he had wormed his way into her heart and because she cared about him, but it was also because she knew that he believed her when she told him things. And she believed him when he told her things too. Their word had been all they had had back home, and even with things having changed it still felt important to Carol. It still felt as if they were both placing trust in the other to keep up their ends of anything that they said they would do.

Daryl was probably one of the most important people to Carol now. She didn't have her daughter anymore, and he was the person that understood her the most. They were close in many ways. Not that she wasn't close with the others, but he had managed to take an important spot in Carol's life and heart. And that made her cherish moments like this. Him showing her the beautiful flower bush and them talking more openly. There were others, but this was a pretty good one, he'd even apologized, which wasn't easy for him.

And even though the moment was sweet and there was an undertone of emotion to it the playful flirting and teasing wasn't unwelcome at all. Carol was comfortable with Daryl. She trusted him. And it was definitely a nice feeling. She felt safe with him, even if they didn't get along all the time. Carol leaned a bit into Daryl's side, their shoulders touching again, " Same here." And for a moment she just sat there in quiet, not needing to fill it in with anything.

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[info]littledixon
2013-06-01 03:26 pm UTC (link)
Daryl knew he was entering extremely dangerous territory as she said those words. He didn’t need to hear what she meant exactly by those words to know that it was something that he might not be fully ready for. That did not stop his stomach from clenching in his gut or his heart from stalling in its fucking beating for half a second. His throat grew inexplicably dry suddenly, and he used the weight from Carol’s shoulder next to his to keep him upright as he tried not to read too much into what she had said, but he was. There was no doubt about that. She was asking for something that he wasn’t sure that he’d ever be able to give her.

His eyebrows knitted along his slightly creased forehead with a touch of worry, and he pursed his lips together tightly for a moment before he let out a breath. It was now or never. “Like what?” he whispered. It was like he was a goddamned masochist. He couldn’t wait until he knew why he was a failure once again in this life, too. How he’d failed her all over again or would fail her. He wasn’t looking at her, his gaze focused more toward the stone walkway than her, but his ears were all hers as he waited for that answer. In their closeness, their hands were practically on top of one another, but he stalled just shy of grabbing hers in his own.

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[info]notmylittlegirl
2013-06-02 02:01 am UTC (link)
Carol hadn't thought through what else it is that she'd like him to say, truthfully. Not in exact terms, anyway. She had never thought that he would say most of the things that she wanted to hear. Most of her thought that he would blush, maybe tell her to shut up again, and move on to the next subject of conversation. She had plenty of things that she'd like to hear from Daryl, though. She'd like to hear some of the things that Ed never really said to her. And even though Daryl wasn't Ed, he wasn't some flowery poet who was going to do that. And that wasn't exactly what she wanted. There were still some things that he could say, but she didn't know that he ever would, though.

Carol wasn't sure that she should say some of the things that she'd like to hear. She didn't want to ruin anything between them. She didn't want to make things awkward. Ultimately....Carol didn't want to lose Daryl and there was the slight fear that if she went too far that she would. And Carol really didn't want to lose any more people. He was too important to her. And she didn't really need a lot of words.

He hadn't pulled away, though. And that was an important fact. Carol was debating on how she should answer. Should she be truthful or should she tease him? He seemed pretty serious at the moment, though. She didn't want to make it awkward for him. So, she went with a happy medium. "Like you could ask me if I wanted to fool around for a change." She grinned a bit as she said it, but followed it up with a different truth. She lifted her hand to take his chin gently so that he wasn't looking down. She didn't like that he did that so often. She liked it when she could see his eyes, even if it was under his messy head of hair. "Or you could tell me that you care." Carol let go of his chin, realizing that she hadn't let go. She didn't want to make him uncomfortable, but it didn't feel wrong to hold his chin like that.

"I'm open to hearing a lot of things, whatever you're comfortable telling me, actually. In however many or few words you have." Carol looked down, not sure if she had been too forward, or maybe if she'd said too much. "Can't think of too much you'd say that I didn't want to hear, especially when you're being sweet like you are now." She knew that she might have put her foot in her mouth, but maybe she was just....emboldened by where he had taken her. Everything around them was beautiful, her heart was light, and she was content. She was content with where she was at. Content with spending time with him. And if they never moved forward she could be content, even if that wasn't exactly what she wanted. She'd like to move forward, but she wasn't going to make him uncomfortable. And if he showed any sign of it now she'd back off and make it into a joke, but for a moment it was easy to pretend.

It was nice to pretend that there was something brewing here and like something could happen from this. It was nice to pretend that they could sit close like this again without him getting edgy or uncomfortable. She didn't know that that was going to be the case, though. But it was better to at least toe the line than to keep it bottled in and have a ton of regrets later.

Carol wasn't looking at Daryl now, though. Maybe it was nerves, maybe she was preparing for a negative response. She didn't know which way this would go, though. Her eyes had settled back on the flower bush, unsure of where else to land. She just hoped that she hadn't made a mistake or upset him. She'd somehow play it off if she had, though...because Daryl was important to her and she'd take whatever she could get from him.

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[info]littledixon
2013-06-02 02:26 am UTC (link)
Another dismissive snort escaped his nose in a sharp exhale of air, a small smile on his lips. That smile stalled as he was forced to look at her, and he took in her expression, every serious inch of it. She was speaking from the heart, and Daryl could see that. His fingers curled into a fist, and his entire arm was tense and solid with slight fear at her words. He did not turn away, though. He did not even attempt to pull his chin from her grasp, and his eyes even darted down to her hand - almost trying to stop her from moving away with his thoughts alone - before looking back up at her face.

Daryl could think of plenty of shit that he had said wrong in the past. One night in particular rang out in his head louder than anything else, and he could still his own words loudly in his ears: "Sophia wasn't mine!" He had been such a bastard that night. But the worst part had been Carol's cold and steady acceptance to his tirade, the way she hadn't even flinched as he hurled the insults at her, trying with all of his might to hurt her. Why? Because he was a prick. Someone that didn't deserve a woman as calm and understanding as the one next to him, and why she put up with him to this day, he still didn't understand. He didn't think he ever would.

He copied her motion as he finally moved his gaze to stare down at his lap. She had been so forward. He should have been thrilled. How many damn times had he asked her what the hell she wanted from him? But now he knew, but he didn't know what to do with this. He knew what he wanted to do, but he didn't know how, wasn't sure if he could --

Thunder crackled over their heads, and just like that, the floodgates were opened.

"Sonuvabitch," Daryl muttered as the rain started to fall, a random spring shower. He stood and grabbed Carol's hand without much forethought. "C'mon." He led the way back out of the garden, pulling her alone, and didn't let go even as he pulled her back into the castle. A few corridors and another staircase later, and they were finally standing outside their quarters. He wasn't exactly drenched, just lightly dampened, and it took him a few moments to realize that he was still holding her hand. He pulled his back quickly, his cheeks burning, as he tightened his jaw to try to keep his composure.

"We good?" he asked. It was such a lame question after everything else they had talked about, but he just wanted to make sure. He just had to make sure.

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[info]notmylittlegirl
2013-06-02 02:50 am UTC (link)
Most silences between Carol and Daryl were comfortable. She knew that he wasn't a man of many words and she was comfortable with that. She knew that the silences they lapsed into in general were good ones. They weren't strange. This one was heavier than usual, though. And Carol knew it was because of what she had said too. It was definitely more than she had ever said before. They had had serious talks before, plenty of times, but never quite at this level. She had never said these things to her before.

Despite everything, though, they always managed to move forward. The two of them had been through a lot. He had grown and she had grown too. They were different people than the mourning mother and the angry man who hadn't been able to find her daughter. She didn't hold hard moments from the past against him. They were both better people than they had been once upon a time. They were both better now.

Carol was startled by the crack of thunder, not having expected it, and she had been nowhere near ready for it either. The rain was startling too. She had thought that she would deal with Daryl's response no matter what it was, but thoughts of that flew out of her mind as he grabbed her hand and started tugging her a long toward the castle. She could feel her clothes, slightly cold and damp against her. But at least she wasn't soaked. Carol thought nothing of his hand being in her's until they reached their shared apartment. And then she was a little bit sad to lose his hand in her's.

Even so, she pasted a smile on her face. She was safe from being turned down for the moment...because of the rain. Though, she didn't know if she had really wanted that save. "Yeah, Daryl, we're definitely good." She told him with a smile. "I should go check in on Little Daryl. Get back to homework." She told him. And before she could talk herself out of it or second guess it, she leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. His cheek was slightly scruffy, rough, and that was a part of his appeal. She hadn't expected it to be soft. She only allowed herself a moment to linger before she pulled back and moved toward Rick's room, cheeks slightly pink at what she had just done.

It was in record time that she lifted her knuckles to the door of Rick's room. "It's Carol!" And she walked in the second that the smaller version of Daryl had opened the door.

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