beyondrepair (ex_beyondrep86) wrote in light_of_may, @ 2009-09-27 20:18:00 |
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Entry tags: | #group scene, 2009-06-16 |
Some debts you just can't pay back.
Who: Robbie, Becky & Dorcas
Where: Becky's house
When: Early afternoon
This was not the first time Dorcas had decided to go and counsel between the living and the dead, really it wasn't. It was just the first time she'd done it in awhile and she was feeling kind of rusty. After all, she wasn't very good with living people unless, apparently, they had something to do with the dead themselves like Ezra and Evan. As it was, she pulled her hearse in behind the car in the driveway of the house matching what was meant to be Becky's address. God, this was one of the few times she regretted driving a hearse.
She had dressed in a pale blue sundress with matching gladiator sandals and pinned her hair up in a classic sort of pin-up girl way with one side sweeping up and settled with a fake flower of a bright red color so it stood out amongst the blue. Dorcas was honestly trying to keep away from the Mediums Are Spooky thing at the moment. Quickly up the walk, she knocked lightly on the door just in case the baby was asleep or something.
Becky had just finished feeding Amy upon returning from her outing at the store earlier in the day. Settling the now clean little girl in her playpen, Becky looked up at the door and arched a brow. She wondered who could possibly be paying her a visit. Colin wouldn't be, not when it was daylight outside. Confused, she pulled the door open, catching sight of the brightly colored hair of the woman first. Then the hearse in the driveway. "Hello..." she said as her eyes met Dorcas's. "Um... can I help you?"
Robbie had seen the hearse pull up to the house, and yes, he grimaced a tiny bit. Probably not the best vehicle to have, but he couldn't really blame her. He followed Becky to the front door, feeling both excitement and apprehension over what was going to happen. He just prayed Becky reacted favorably. Robbie stepped up beside Becky when she opened the door, a small smile on his lips as he looked at Dorcas. "Thanks for showing," he told her, and realized a part of him thought she might ditch the whole thing completely.
For a moment, her eyes flicked to Robbie and she smiled a tiny smile just so he would know she was acknowledging him. After all, Dorcas couldn't just start out talking to him, right? That'd make her seem extra crazy. Attention back on Becky, she started, "Um... My name is Dorcas. Yesterday I met someone you know in the park. He... gave me this address to speak to you. And I know it's going to sound weird despite everything that's gone on in the past few months but I erm... I'm a medium." Dorcas made a soft sound, blushing faintly, "I'm sorry, I'm really bad at this whole reveal thing."
Becky just stared at the girl. For a lot of reasons really, for her appearance, the appearance of her car, the fact that she looked at the space beside Becky like there was something there and then, yes, the fact that she just said she was a medium. At first she wondered who the girl could have possibly met that would know her address aside from Colin. But mediums could talk to the dead. "Robbie?" she asked her, her eyes already watering a little. Her lower lip trembled and she blinked away the moisture, reaching out to let her fingers pass through the space that Dorcas had smiled at and sure enough it was cold. "You can see him?" she asked the girl, finally stepping out of the way to allow her inside.
Okay, so maybe Dorcas should have brought tissues, because Becky was already getting worked up. "Tell her not to be upset," Robbie said before wincing. "Sorry, I don't mean to be bossy... I just don't want her to start crying." That was one of his main goals while being here... getting Becky to smile more instead of crying.
Dorcas nodded at the questions, meanwhile opening the little purse she had slung over her shoulder. "Yeah well, I did actually bring the tissues," she told Robbie as she produced a small travel sized package and held them out to Becky. She stepped into the home, smiling a little at the woman, "Robbie doesn't want you to be upset. Although I know that's kind of impossible in this sort of situation."
She took the tissues, closing the door behind the woman and leading her into the bedroom. "It's not fair..." she told her. "That you can see him and I can't..." Sinking down on the couch, she opened the tissues and took one out to wipe her eyes.
He was kind of hoping she wouldn't get so emotional right away, but Robbie could understand this was kind of overwhelming for her. "That wasn't so hard, was it?" Robbie asked Dorcas. Since Becky seemed so willing to believe her so quickly. He stayed close to Becky when she sat down, feeling guilty for making her feel this way, even if he thought it was the best thing to happen.
Her gaze flicked to Robbie for a moment and she smiled briefly, "No it wasn't. You were right." Dorcas settled on the opposite end of the couch, giving them room to be together even though Becky couldn't see him. She wasn't going to sit in Robbie after all. He was still a person even if he was invisible and intangible. "I know it's not fair. If I could make you see him, I would. If I could make him visible even for a brief moment, I would. All I can do is repeat what he wants to say to you."
Becky looked up at the girl, not sure what to say to her. "I feel suddenly very much like Demi Moore." she muttered. "Guess that means you're my Whoopi Goldberg." Becky told Dorcas. "So what does he want to tell me?" she asked, glancing from the woman to her daughter still in her playpen, laying on her stomach and gurgling about something or other.
There was way too much for him to say to fit it all in one afternoon. Now he had someone to communicate for him and he didn't even know where to begin. With a sigh, he glanced at Dorcas. "Just... tell her I love her. And that I need her to be happy... I know that's easier said than done... but I don't think I can leave until she's happy."
"Oh sweet, I'm the middle square," she said before she could stop herself. Dorcas had rather liked Hollywood Squares. Whatever. "I know you can't see him but you can address him... He's right here," Dorcas smiled faintly, not scolding her or anything but trying to make the conversation more comfortable. She nodded at Robbie when he started and she did her repeat trying to capture the emotion as well as just the words, "Well, to begin with... He loves you and he needs you to be happy. Like he said, easier said than done but..." She didn't say the rest and just trailed off. Dorcas thought if she'd said the rest it would just make Becky feel guilty.
Becky looked at the space between herself and Dorcas. At Robbie. "Is that why you're here?" she questioned. "Because I'm unhappy?" It wouldn't be possible to make Becky feel more guilty than she already did. For being the reason that Robbie was stuck here, which she'd been assuming since she suspected he was a ghost. "Did you see what happened?" she questioned. "The other night? Please tell me you left..." she practically pleaded. It was one thing for him to have seen her kiss Wally, something entirely different for it to have gotten hot and heavy with Robbie right there. Maybe if he didn't see she wouldn't feel so horrible. No, she would still feel horrible. She was supposed to move on, she knew, but Robbie was still there and that changed everything.
"I don't know why I'm here," Robbie said to Becky, though his eyes flicked to Dorcas briefly. "It's not that I don't want to be around... I don't know what else there is and... I'd rather be here with you and Amy than anywhere else." He grimaced when she mentioned the other night. By that he knew she meant when Wally the vampire had started kissing her. "I left after you both started kissing." He shot Dorcas an almost embarrassed look. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable with this conversation, and having to repeat it. "I came back once Wally left."
Dorcas pretty much repeated Robbie's words exactly although she changed the I's to he's and such like so it didn't sound like she meant what he was saying... Although when it got to the part about Wally, she definitely blushed a little. She wanted to ask about it but... Um... Really not her business.
Becky bit her bottom lip and looked at her lap. "It didn't mean anything." she told him. And it hadn't, not as much as it had meant to her when she and Robbie were together. That thought had the tears forming again and she tried to blink them away, but they were far too stubborn. Wiping her eyes, she took a breath and tried to think of what else she wanted to say. There was so much that she felt she needed to and now that she had the chance, she felt blank. "I'm sorry." she told him. "I feel like I... like I..." she couldn't even finish before the tears slipped down her cheeks. She hurriedly dabbed at them, but more just seemed to form. "I love you and I... I... did... did something... something like that and I... I sh-shouldn't have..." But she couldn't be alone forever either and she knew that Robbie would probably be saying that immediately, but it didn't change how she felt. Like she'd betrayed him.
He looked at Dorcas, almost pleadingly, because he didn't really know what to say. He didn't want to tell Becky 'I'm dead, move on' because that was insensitive and probably revealed too much of his own bitterness. "She... can you tell her she shouldn't feel guilty? I'm gone, she can't stop living her life because of that." He sighed and kept his eyes on Dorcas. "I don't know how to help her move on from this."
When Becky started really crying, Dorcas got up and settled on the arm of the couch behind her. From there, she wrapped her arms around the crying woman and hugged her gently. Normally she wouldn't have done something like this but she was kind of doing it for Robbie since she figured he'd do it if he could. Back to repeating although this time it was really in agreement, "You shouldn't feel guilty, Becky. Although Robbie's not entirely gone from this plane doesn't mean you shouldn't live your life and I know it's hard to move on, it won't happen unless you try." If she didn't try, she'd just be miserable for the rest of her life which wouldn't exactly be best for the baby but she didn't say that out loud. "How can we help you? Because he wants to help, he just doesn't know how."
"It's not the same." she told him. "He's not you and no one... n-no one is ever going to be you." Becky whimpered, wiping at the tears but having no luck in stopping them. "It's not fair." she told him. "It's not fair to you... to Amy... I shouldn't even be thinking about anyone else. I should be focusing on her." But that didn't mean that Becky wasn't thinking about Wally and wondering if he even cared or if she was just some random fling to him. That thought hurt almost as much as the thought that she'd hurt Robbie. "I'm t-trying." she mumbled. "I just don't know h-how."
"Whatever she needs from me, I'll do," Robbie said, trying not to sound desperate. "Obviously I have restrictions, but I'll try to do whatever I need to, if that'll help her. It's not fair to her to hold back from moving on. She's so focused on Amy that she's becoming a hermit," Robbie explained to Dorcas. "She rarely gets out to socialize, she doesn't go on dates... she needs to realize she's still alive, she's still a young, beautiful woman." Released a frustrated, unnecessary breath, Robbie frowned. "I'm not helping at all, am I?"
"No one instinctively knows how. You have to find your own path but..." Dorcas frowned a little between them, listening to Robbie, "From his description, it doesn't even sound like you're trying." Which might have sounded a little cruel but it was the honest truth. She never said she was good with people. "Robbie wants to help you, however he can but he can't really do that unless you make an effort. Taking care of your daughter is all well and good but when one person is depressed, everyone in the home suffers. Like Robbie said, you are still young, still lovely... But you seriously need to get out and get a social life. Just because you have one doesn't mean you can't bring your daughter along too."
"I have been trying." Becky snapped. "He just died a year ago, I had a baby, I've been raising her by myself, my brother disappeared, I didn't have anyone and I moved in the middle of all that. I can't be expected to just fall into happiness again so easily. I am trying. I went out the other day. I had a fling with some guy I don't know anything about... I don't know how he thinks I'm supposed to just move on... he's the only guy I've ever loved. The only person I'd ever had sex with til the other night, the father of my child. Losing him practically killed me." Becky muttered, shaking her head. She didn't know what she was supposed to do and she was upset and irritable and not sure what to say to either of them. "I don't know what to do."
Robbie frowned at Becky's shift in attitude toward anger. He felt badly, like he was fucking this all up somehow. He went to reach for her hand, but remembered, again, that he couldn't touch her. "I don't think having a fling is the best way to 'move on'. All it did was make you feel miserable and guilty. I understand that you had to raise Amy, and deal with what happened to Colin... it's been a year, Becky. My passing didn't kill you, you have to understand that. You're strong, and you're alive. You don't have to rush into anything with anyone, but you can't be afraid of it either. You can't think that every time you talk to a man, that you're cheating on me." He realized he was talking directly to Becky rather than Dorcas. "I don't expect you to fall into happiness, but you're not even willing to take a step towards it yet."
Instead of using her own words this time, she used Robbie's and repeated him near perfect but with a change of pronouns again and a bit of a shift in tense to make it sound right. He put it better than she ever could.
Becky sighed and leaned back against the couch. Pressing her hand against her forehead, she let out a little breath and looked over at Robbie. "I know that I'm alive." she mumbled. "I'm willing to take a step towards happiness.. I'm trying. I went out with Jovie. I made plans with a girl today to hang out. Even to get a babysitter maybe..." she said. "How else am I supposed to try?"
"That's a step. That's trying," Robbie stressed. "I know it's hard... it's hard for me too. Not being able to be there, and touch you, and hold Amy. I've been here though, in spirit." Obviously. "I've watched you move in here, watched you give birth. I'm never going to leave as long as you need me. But I need you to know I'm not angry, I'm not upset. I understand you need to move on, and I'm not going to resent you if you do. You're not cheating on me, Beck... I love you. I want you to be happy more than anything else."
Once more she repeated like a good little parrot although she couldn't help but snort out a laugh at the 'in spirit' part. It wasn't an appropriate moment to be laughing but ghost jokes from ghosts were some of her favorite jokes in the whole world. She was so easy to please sometimes.
Again Becky sighed, biting her bottom lip and shaking her head a little. "It's just hard." she muttered. "But I'm trying. That's the best I can do. I can't just turn off the guilt, even if you say it's okay..."
Robbie shot Dorcas a Look, though it was laced with a bit of amusement. At least she was finding some humor in this. He wanted to smile, but now was not the time. "I know it's hard, baby, but you're going to be okay. I miss you, and I know you miss me... but I'm here for as long as you need me to be."
"You said it, not me," Dorcas told Robbie in her defense with the smallest of shrugs. Once more she repeated his words, although she left out the baby since it would feel kind of awkward. For a moment, she wished she knew the art of spirit possession. That would make this so much easier.
Running her hand through her curls, Becky turned her attention to Dorcas. "There isn't a way for me to ever see him is there?" she asked. "Or communicate with him without using a repeater basically. I know it can't be easy for you to keep listening to us back and forth." she sighed. Amy whined in her playpen and Becky got up to walk over and heft her from the little baby prison. "I think she can see you, Robbie." she said as she sat down again. Amy already leaning towards the space there beside her. "See. She knows your there."
"She can," Robbie told her, wishing there was some way to let her see him. Maybe someday, if he could master materialization. Someday. "At first I wasn't sure if she could... but she looks at me wherever I go. She responds to me." He turned to Dorcas. "Can you explain how some babies can see things adults can't?" Maybe Becky already knew that, but Robbie was secretly hoping Amy was a medium.
"If I knew how to do spirit possession I'd let him borrow my body... But I never learned it," she admitted with a tinge of embarrassment. "There are... certain times when a spirit has more power but it takes practice to move things and manifest and it takes a lot of energy." Dorcas nodded at Robbie, "It is very likely that Amy can see him. Their minds are more receptive to the... off. We spent so much time ignoring the supernatural around us. Of course there is the potential that she's a medium. You never know how many generations the abilities are going to skip."
Amy grinned at Robbie and continued to reach out for him. Becky knew how annoyed she got when she couldn't touch him. Perhaps that explained her random bouts of fussiness. She sighed a little and ran her fingers through the little girl's curls. "That's Daddy." she told her. She'd done the same with pictures of Robbie. Pictures she'd packed away mostly now. She needed to bring them back out. Stop hiding them away. Perhaps that would be the first step of coping. "He misses you." she told the little girl. That broke her heart most of all. Amy would never get to know her father, know how much he loved her. "You were there?" she asked, looking up at the space beside her. "When she was born?"
"That's be really strange," Robbie told Dorcas. "Sharing your body." Speaking through a woman's body, of all things. Just... bizarre. Though that didn't mean he'd never try it. He reached out for Amy, smiling a touch when she grinned at him. "I do miss her... but it helps that she can see me. If she retains this ability, I can talk to her whenever she wants me to." Which was comforting to him. He'd never pass on, if it meant being able to stick around for his daughter. "I was there," he told Becky absently, still studying Amy. "She was born on October the first..."
"I think it's more overtaking... I'm not sure. Like I told you before, haven't done it. Don't wanna. Evil spirits, so on." She shrugged and kind of felt bad for not really detailing what was being said in that part of the conversation to Becky but she could probably guess. She was smart, but she was stubborn and apparently bent on wallowing in her misery. Dorcas went back to repeating and letting Becky know what was being said right down to the birthdate.
Becky let out a little breath and looked up at Dorcas and then at Robbie. "At least you were there for that..." she said. She wasn't sure how she made it through the delivery. Being alone for the birth of her child had been one of the hardest things she'd ever had to do. "No one is ever going to replace you. You know that right?"
"I know. It won't be a replacement..." As much as he wanted her to be happy, a part of him still dreaded it, when she found someone new to love and be with, and have a family with. "I just want you to know that I'm okay with you moving on with someone else. I just want you to be happy, more than anything."
Dorcas repeated what she knew to be at least a fraction of a lie. She'd spoken to too many spirits to believe it entirely. Of course there had always been those terribly blunt ones that that had told her to repeat their true feelings and she'd ended up calling some people whores or bastards... Anyhow, beside the point.
Believing, like Dorcas, that Robbie's statement was partly lie, Becky just nodded a little. She didn't think that he was okay with her moving on, especially since he was there when Wally told her that he was a vampire. She highly doubted that Robbie was okay with that particular fact. "Okay." she said softly. At least it made her feel a little better. Turning her attention to Dorcas, she tilted her head a little. "If I want to talk to him... can I see you again?"
Robbie glanced at Dorcas, hoping for a positive answer. He couldn't 'haunt' Dorcas, obviously, but he certainly hoped she wouldn't be opposed to being his 'translator' should he need or want to talk to Becky again. If she couldn't, he would just try to find another medium, because there was no way he could go back to just floating about the house, when she knew he was around. He wanted to communicate.
"Absolutely," she answered, smiling, "I was planning on leaving my information with you, including my address in case something comes up. Even ghosts can have emergencies..." Like a family member being alone and something tragic happening and... Well, let's just say it'd come up before in her past.
Becky wanted to breathe a sigh of relief at that. She wanted to call up Colin and tell him all about Dorcas and being able to talk to Robbie, but she couldn't. Damn the daylight hours. "Thank you so much." she told the girl. "I know I might not seem like I appreciate this, but I do... so much."
"Thanks, Dorcas." Robbie also felt relief and he smiled at Becky, despite her not being able to see him. "I appreciate it too... and I promise I'll do whatever I can to pay you back for it." Maybe not in monetary value, but something. He felt like he could actually do something now. "Maybe... you can show me what else I can do? Or at least find me someone who can? I don't have a clue who lives in this town, and I've been here for awhile."
"It's okay. Really. Both of you," Dorcas smiled between them. Her attention was full on Robbie for a minute though, "I told you, you don't have to pay me back. And I believe I mentioned introducing you to Elizabeth for practicing ghostly powers of awesome. She's really very good at managing her energy." That almost sounded like she was setting Robbie up on a ghostly date and she glanced to Becky, "Elizabeth lives in my house. Ghost attached to an item deal. Victorian lady. Think Robbie could actually be on that good of behavior?" She was teasing and giggling a little since she didn't really know him and he seemed nice anyhow.
Becky smiled a little at that. "I don't know." she said. "He tends to be such a pain in the butt, she might pop him one. Especially since we had this little one out of wedlock. I don't know if he'll survive the afterlife meeting someone from that era." she teased.
"I'm going to find a way anyway... even if you don't need anything in return, I want to be able to give you something." He just had no clue what that would be. Yet, anyway. Robbie rolled his eyes at the two of them. "Yeah, yeah talk about me like I'm not in the room. Which... technically I guess I'm not, but whatever. I can handle a proper-esque lady, thank you very much. And I'd like to meet her as soon as I can... or as soon as she'd be okay with it." Dorcas seemed extremely willing to help, but that didn't mean her ghostly friend would be as generous with her time.
"You're very sweet, Robbie, but it's not necessary," she smiled with a little shrug. Dorcas could easily see what Becky saw in this guy. He was just so... nice. Terribly nice. "You are too in the room. Don't be silly. Although I wouldn't be surprised if Elizabeth did hit him though... She smacks my boyfriend all the time but I think she just doesn't like him. He's still in training though so I'll get him broken eventually."
Becky chuckled just a little and shook her head. "Well I guess we'll see." she said. The thought of being able to actually see Robbie was so tempting, but she didn't want to get her hopes up. She wanted to give something to Dorcas and had to come up with some way to show her appreciation. It would take some thought, but she fully planned on repaying her somehow. "Thank you, again..." Becky said with a glance at the woman. "You don't know how much you're helping me."
"Can she smack me if I'm a ghost?" Robbie asked, eyes flickering with curiosity. Could ghosts fight with other ghosts? Touch other ghosts? "Guess I ought to be prepared for that stuff, if it's true." Last thing he wanted was for some crazy ghost to attack him while he was unguarded. He smiled at Dorcas. "Yeah... thanks. I think she's going to be okay... now that she knows."
"Yeah, ghosts can touch other ghosts. So we're gonna find you some spirit friends if it kills me. And then, well, hey." Dorcas laughed a little at the really bad joke. Ghost and death humor was kind of a specialty and now that she was dating Evan... Oh Christ. Smiling at both of them, she added, "It's not over yet until you both are ready so don't thank me until then." Of course that might be 30 years from now but she didn't say that out loud.
Smiling at the woman again, Becky nodded a little. "Well, thank you anyway." she said softly. Dorcas may never know just how much she'd given the other woman that day, but it was tremendous. A debt that Becky wasn't sure she could ever pay back.