InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Merry Cruisemas!"

mike munroe took a level in badass (fucknuggets) wrote in jurassiccitynet,
@ 2016-10-24 19:24:00

Entry tags:

francis barton / hawkeye, lydia martin, mike munroe

It was my fault. I've been thinking it for over a year, and I need to just say it somewhere. It was my fault. I could have told them no. I could have refused to go along with it. I wasn't really comfortable with it. I knew it was cruel. I knew she'd take it badly. But I did it anyway. I did it anyway because they wanted to. They wanted me to. God. Fuck. I didn't know she'd take it so badly she'd get herself killed.

Or not killed. Worse. Fuck.

If I'd just said no... Or if I'd gone after her like I wanted to. Both of them. Maybe none of it ever would have happened.

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	fucknuggets 2016-10-24 09:43 pm UTC (link)
	I should have went after them, Lydia. I knew it was dangerous to just let them wander around on their own. I should have went after them whether she wanted to see me or not. But I had to try and give her fucking space. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	keenings 2016-10-24 09:55 pm UTC (link)
	You did what you thought was right. You listened to her best friend. You didn't do it to hurt her. And if you'd gone, you might have died or ended up a Wendigo too. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fucknuggets 2016-10-24 10:08 pm UTC (link)
	Or we would have all come back in one piece. They fell, Lydia. That's what started it. They fell. I might have been able to pull them back up. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	keenings 2016-10-25 10:06 am UTC (link)
	Or you would have died and not been there to help save the rest of your friends. Or become a Wendigo and killed them all. We can play What-If all day, Mike. But I'm not going to blame you for a mistake you were pushed into by other people and that you tried to fix. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fucknuggets 2016-10-25 10:09 am UTC (link)
	I miss them. All of them. We lost that entire family on that fucking mountain, and I was too terrified to do anything to save Josh, too. You might not blame me. But I can't help but blame myself. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	keenings 2016-10-25 03:50 pm UTC (link)
	Of course you were terrified. You weren't prepared for that. We all have things we blame ourselves for. Allison died trying to save my life. She wouldn't have even been there if it weren't for me. Because I got captured. Because I couldn't save myself. So I get it. I do. But you have people here for you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fucknuggets 2016-10-28 11:05 pm UTC (link)
	I can say the same for you, you know. If you need to talk about it. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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