mike fitzgerald, the scrooge of LOVE (frattastic) wrote in invol_rpg, @ 2012-10-17 22:26:00 |
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Entry tags: | ! email, brad swartz, hugo kraayenburg, jesse dean, jonas dufaux, mikael eiriksson, mike fitzgerald, raphael amante |
TO: Hugo Kraayenburg, Brad Swartz, Mikael Eriksson, Jesse Dean, Raphael Amante, Jonas DuFaux
FROM: Michael Fitzgerald
SUBJECT: RE: presenting...the LEGIT vilf list.
MESSAGE:
Michael Fitzgerald has shared the_ultimate_vilf_list
Message from mfitzgerald@ivi.au.edu:
LO AND FUCKING BEHOLD: the final product, because we need to get on with our lives. #winning
oh and fyi since raph's pretty bad at keeping the colors straight:
me - red
jonas - blue
hugo - purple
brad - orange
jesse - gold
mikael - brown
raph - you're green, bro.
Google Drive: create, share, and keep all your stuff in one place.
ATTACHED GOOGLE DOC:
HOT
1. Isadora Azevedo: 7. she’s pretty cute, even if she is crazy weird about teleporting shit everywhere I thought that Isla was the teleporter? wait, then who is this chick? No idea. yeah isla is the teleporter idk who this girl is She’s on my team. She’s nice. I’m not giving anyone points by the way #who Trust me, Isla is the teleporter. Isadora is the Brazilian. I don't know who this is.
2. Doria Pavlis: 8. banged, her and i don’t bang anything lower than an 8. gets way too excited about shit though Who? you know, the brunette who turns into other people There's a brunette who turns into other people? Are you sure that she's the actual person you banged? well i banged her when she was a chick and not a bro, so that’s all that matters. idk who this is either. Maybe you could get her to turn into someone else halfway through #jeah cute but really hyper I don't know who this is. Pretty but excitable. Her power has great potential though, si? 7
3. Aisha al Yassin: 6.5. don’t really know her but damn 6. Needs to show more skin. true. 6.3? #acceptable how do you guys know who all these girls are? Who is this wait is this the cheerleader chick? she’s #hot but :|||| hold up, she's a cheerleader? bumping her a point to 7.5 I don't know who this is. You people must pay better attention. She is very conservative, no? But flexible. 7.5
4. Chelsea Blake: 6. cute enough, right? but she’s also pretty annoying sometimes, so actually maybe a 5.5 6.5. She seems to know how to use her mouth, if you understand my meaning. LOL #winning ugh she's okay. 5.5I think she’s kind of annoying she’s p nice, 2 serious but nice hair I don't know who this is. Cannot flirt. 6
5. Myra Moran: 7. weird as fuck, if you ask me, though. does she ever talk in like, more than one word sentences? 6. A bitch, but not in a good way. um idk who this is either #WTF Who is this #who I don't know who this is. Not approachable. 5.
6. Kiara Albury: 6. eh not my type but like, still pretty legit 8.5 Starting to doubt your taste. really, that high? Perhaps she is simply more my type? Your taste has been noted as questionable. iddddk who this is. why doesn't the ivi have a photo database? this is why facebook was invented neway Who is this #who I don't know who this is. She is the very serious island girl. 7 yeah, that doesn't really narrow shit down
7. Whitney Wu: 9 good kisser in bed, cute. 9. Do not understand why she decided to sleep with you before me. cause i got game, brah Or she was desperate. #Burn happened more than once #sorrynotsorry 9 easyI didn’t know you slept with Whitney hugo, do u kno nethang? she's hot, i'm hot. what else is there to know, bro? Oh that's cool Might be attractive if she were not so annoying. Would be a 10, but points subtracted for her terrible judgement in men. hey, she refused to sleep with you so far, so her judgment can't be THAT bad She has not refused yet.
8. Julieta Jimenez: 7. she’d be higher but points docked for being legitimate jailbait 8. I enjoy Spanish women. ummm it's not jailbait if ur only 19 like i said before. 10 w/e idwiw She is very pretty but isn’t she 17. That feels creepy #hot #cute but too young :| #sorrybrad She irritates me. Sorry Brad. If Brad was not, I would. Spanish passion should never be denied. 8.5 #craddlesnatcher amirite She is all of a year your younger? Americans.
9. Neve Simonetti-Di Monda: 8. hot AND italian. has kind of a stick up her ass though 6. I believe my dick would freeze if I ever put it in this #IceQueen actually, that’s sylvie. fuck, #donotEVERwant yeah um neve is not that nice also idk how you guys got through this whole list bc I am nine in and in class and kind of bored wtf. I don’t think your dick will actually #freeze #lolno I don't know who this is. And Ice Queen does not sound good. super bitch b*tch italian Oh. Then no. No woman she, but a beast from the pits of Hades itself. But an Italian one nonetheless, so 8
10. Logan Hastings: 8. don’t really know her, but I WOULD LIKE TO Are you certain that this is not a male? nah, she’s that hot brunette chick logan's cool and also female She is pretty #who I don't know who this is. "Hot brunette chick" describes half of this school. I have no taste for soldiers. 6
11. Mirijam Orange-Nassau: 5.5 not really that hot, but points for being actual royalty. who doesn’t want to bang a princess, right? 8. Not really that hot? Are you blind? dude her face is busted. can you say decades of inbreeding?also on my team and i am not ranking her I don’t want to bang a princess #NOJEAH I don't know who this is. You do not know who the only princess here is? Seriamante? Regardless of anything she is a princess and I would like to have that in my records. 8.5
12. Daisy Hughes: 9 she’s blonde, she’s southern AND she’s hot as fuck. i mean, daisy dukes were practically named after her. 7. Decent, but so very American in all of the unfortunate ways. And she apparently missed the memo that American girls are supposed to put out. well, she puts out for the ONE guy. 9I don’t like the way she cries we go 2 church 2gether so idk if i can say anything who the fuck cares how she cries? are you planning on making these chicks do a lot of crying? No but whenever there are girls involved there is always a chance that someone might start crying i live w/ kody i’m like immune 2 crying now I would sleep with her. Lofty American puritanism at its worst. I would not. 4
13. Sonia Granville: 7.5 not really my type, but sonia’s legit 9. #HotShit.idk who this is either Can I use the #HotShit hashtag too #WHO??? I don't know who this is. Very much so on my list of ‘to do’. 9
14. Astrid Marquette: 7.5 she’d be higher, but i mean -- crazy. but 9. #HotShit. um astrid has crazy eyes She is too crazy for me LOL #crazyeyes alright but nice hair No. Crazy perhaps, but I have no regrets. 8.5
15. Duniya al-Ghazal: 8 i really lucked out with flamingo, man 8. wtf NO IDEAI would let her give me a tattoo #who I don't know who this is. For once I am with Mikael.
16. Lydie Pletschette: 9.5 she’s so legit. seriously. Agreeing with you again. 9.5. Bet she sleeps with me first. ;) don’t even try it, she’s too good for y stilllll don't know who this girl is She is very pretty. Would she sleep with either of you though. #GoodQuestion #HELLJEAH nah bro, she's more wifey material than wham bam thank you maam material I would like a night with her. Again, I am with Mikael. 8
17. Clara Llewellyn: 10 9.5 i love blondes 7. Looks like the type who might cry in bed, and probably never gets on top. you’re whacked, bro. clara’s the best.lbr we all know what clara is. Quite so. She is very pretty and nice :) #who ...... jk jk jk As Mike has said, wifey material. As we all know to speak ill of her would make most of you explode with overprotective righteousness, so I demur.
18. Anika Morgernstern: 7 she’d be higher up but uh, can you say, SERIOUSLY fucking crazy? 7.5. It is rare that a woman is actually TOO crazy. #ButSheIs. Wouldn't mind to see tapes of the lesbian sex she is having in solitary, though. i think even with lesbians, you need someone else there with you to make sex happen, brah she legit has CRAZY EYES. her vol power is CRAZY EYES. and she is in VOL JAIL. idt she countsNO so hot but so insane. #sosad ): She is hot but nothing could make me subject myself to that much insanity. ’Too risky’ is a phrase I use sparingly, but here it is so.
19. Audra Deroux: 7? i think this is that rain chick, right? 9. How can you not know? idk who this girl is. WAIT did she run for stuco?????Pretty yes brad. do u like pay attn 2 nethang? LOL brad's fucking clueless rocks 4 brains ;) She is pretty but I do not want to deal with knowing I probably cause the rain. I think this would be a badge of some distinction, to affect the weather with your passion. I would try. Sometimes I doubt your heterosexuality. Shall I compile references? No. LOL do you think she could strike you with a lightning bolt if she was pissed off? #stayaway Maybe. Probably. That is why I must say no.
20. Sunny Puri: 7.5 cute? 5. Possibly a lesbian, which could make her more interesting. she IS into comic books. i didn’t think any straight girls were. i know who she is she's kind of hot She’s a lesbian? #WhoKnew wait she’s the one with the xtra body parts rite? … just #imagining... She's a lesbian? Lesbian or no, she is of an even less desirable type: she is ‘just nice’. 4
21. Hailey Hamilton: 7.5 cute and pretty dece kisser in bed. although the fact that she’s all into hockey and rugby is kind of whack. 5. The nerdy one? I thought you didn't bang anything lower than an 8. #Standards yeah well, she gets another .5 for being canadian, so 8. i think you guys made up most of these names but i do know who hailey isI didn’t know you slept with Hailey have u tried talkin 2 her? she hurts my head brah, the fact that i get around is #nosecret A sweet girl, but far too bland. 5 I don't know who this is.
22. Marine van de Velde: 8 because MAN i’ve heard stories about this one 6. Talk about #CrazyEyesmarine is cool Lol #CrazyEyes seems kinda stuck up I don't know who this is. Even I have no appetite for drama of this calibre. 4 lol
23. Vanessa Upton: 6 lol facebook chick’s really not that ugly, brah. 6.5. Decent. omg this is fb girl - 2834927384732 for annoying the shit out of me.She is cute but also crazy. If she saw this list I bet she would "Like" it #NO #NO #NO #FLIPNO BROSEPHS WHAT R U THINKIN OMW HOW DO I BLOCK HER FROM MY LIFE SHE IS THE WORST I CAN’T EVEN LASKJDLAKDJALSD I do not know who this is. MIKAEL. SHE TAKES THE SELFIES AND SAYS ‘LIKE’ @ EVERYTHING I don't remember anyone doing this. Someone point her out to me. this isn’t funny. she POSTED A PICTURE OF HERSELF ON THE NETWORK. Naked? ... no but it was kind of not hard 2 miss I had to look back. She is pretty but if she is as crazy as you say then no. She is beautiful enough to make her idiosyncrasies quite irrelevant. I plan to pursue this. 9 this is your future, raph: ♥ Raphael Amante is in a relationship with Vanessa Upton. Like.
24. Lottie Pewter: 9.5 hot, great in bed, knows how to party. so what if she’s a little crazy sometimes 8. Not the kind of crazy I prefer.CRAZY EYES LBR - would probably text you constantly and call your mom and tell you to call her or something. PASS. hot but not worth it. Yeah she is hot SO #hot nah from experience, i'm telling you she's not that bad although she I second this. 9 I would sleep with Lottie if I never had to interact with her. She is on my team so I would have to deal with it.
25. Vi Harper: 7.5 it’d be higher if she wasn’t fucking crazy, but she’s a good lay, so. 8. Points removed for sluttiness. How many diseases do you think this one has? #EasyAccess #NotAGoodThing hey like i always say, don’t #tapit unless you #wrapit idk who she is She scares me but she is so hot i’d let her take my she’s cool She breaks kneecaps. No. There is such thing as ‘too easy’. But beautiful nonetheless. 7
26. Eden Acacia: 8 knew her from back home, still as legit as ever 8. Decent. idk who she is either DID YOU GUYS JUST MAKE UP NAMES? Yes #who how the fuck do you guys not know eden? I do not know who this is. dude, she's in our room all the time Oh the one you slept with. Is she Caribbean? I think perhaps I have mistaken her with Kiara?
27. Elsa Lindstrom: 7.5 little skinny, but fuck is she hot 9. Nothing wrong with skinny. my grandmother would like force her to eat for like nine hours. she is really skinny. Pretty and also mysterious :) #who? HANG ON, is she 1 of the newbies? Elsa makes me feel like the dumbest person alive. No. A beautiful thief of poise and wit? I still often think she is but a dream of mine made real. 10
28. Allegra Hawke: 7 she’s hot but i don’t get why every guy in this place is ON her ass. Agreed. 6.5 7.5 Agree. Sometimes her face reminds me of a rodent, but there is nothing wrong with her body. so you’re saying you’d paperbag it? fair. do i know this girl? She is also fun to be around. I like her. Would not put a paper bag over her head though :| does that mean you’d do her, hugo? Yeah but I live next door to Caleb so that would be weird do not covet thy neighbour’s gf broseph #thingsthebiblesays The bible does not say that. well it says do not commit adultery & do not covet, so i just smushed the two & updated it for modern times... what, do you think you're the modern-day jesus? LOL #BLASPHEMY Does that make him a golden calf? you're the one self-editing the bible, brah brosephs it pretty much says that already do u want me to write out BOTH commandments 4 u? bet you could pull off a jesus costume for halloween if you grew out that hair u can’t go 2 halloween as the son of god broseph. that’s like. sacrilegious
29. Mette Skoglund: 8 dude, SO hot. have you SEEN her legs? 9. Indeed, I have. yeah if jonas has tapped that #nottappingit we already had the clap going around once Can you guys stop sleeping with everyone and give the rest of us a chance :| #jeah Mette Skoglund is really hot. I would sleep with her. Consider the ticking clock motivating, Hugo. As for Mette, she is of a magnificent vintage. I would award her 10. magnificent vintage? what the fuck, is she a bottle of wine? All women are as wine.
30. Claudia Corbett: 8 blonde, cute, fun. Who? Is this the nerdy one? i think she can talk to animals? or heal them? i’d like her to heal me #allnightlong, is what i’m saying.she's on swan right? how do i not know anyone here? I like Claudia her face is pretty but she seems boring She is all right. Sweet and plain. 4
31. Coralie Bouchard: 6 it’d be higher but didn’t she catch the clapp that one time? LOL no thanks 7. Again, simply too easy. #NOPE i am doing the rest of these later you guys can dwiLol #TheClap she’s so hot though #jeah Not if she has diseases. Benedica il dio per i preservativi Simple, but beautiful. 8
32. Mariana Bezerra da Silva: 7.5 that fucking accent, man, is so hot. she kind of seems like she has a serious stick up her ass, though. 9. Is the rumor about her and the American Sam true? I hope not, what a waste of talent. right? thompson probably just wants to stick a ring on it. i have never seen this girl on the network BUT i know who she is. she's cute. Hot #JEAH I do not know who this is. This is a woman that would be all passion. 10
33. Carmela LoPriore: 7 cute, seems way high maintenance though 8. A bit too excitable, but #HotAsFuck who? Also hot #WHO???? I do not know who this is. On my list. 9
NOT
1. Suzee Otterstteter: 3. ginger, boring. yawn. ??? YOU GUYS DEF MADE UP THIS ONE OKAY Who is this #who I do not know who this is. This one I do not know also.
2. Bea Cartwell: 2. LOL chick has a tail Tail girl! Good for a laugh at least, yes? #TRUTH from what i can tell she has no sense of humor and idk but personally nerd girls don't do it for me although i am sure she will make someone a very happy nerd wife one day I can never tell if she's joking #nope The one with the glasses? yeah, the nerdy one with the tail #lol Oh. No. She is a dry wit. I would not avoid, but nor would I prioritize.
3. Kai Kwan-Mexia: 4. those bug eyes freak me out, bros The insane little one? 3. ?????? Who is this #who I do not know who this is. Too acerbic.
4. Mira Golob: 1. this is spider chick, right? 1. Do you think she brings the spiders to bed? Sex spiders? #LOL LOL she doesn’t have nearly as much sting as her scorpions I suppose they are an effective means of contraception, no? WEIRD SPIDER GIRL #NOPE#NOPE#NEVER #jeahno Creepy Not for all of the money in the world. Ragni? No grazie. speak english, bro. is that spanish for "no thanks"? jk jk
5. Jordana Miller: 4.5. LOL can you say butch? she’d be okay
otherwise 7. Swimmers. I would #HitIt. no way. her shoulders could give tebow a run for their money r u guys sure she isn’t a lesbian? jordana is super hot and she is really chill and cool when you get to know her so you are #missingout She's not a lesbian. At least I don't think whatever she is, she's also a raging bitch. CHANGED TO LIKE -5 She seems like the type you could never make come and would not do the decency of faking it for you. I am stunned by the accuracy of this assessment.
6. Nawal Bechara: 2. she sucks the fun out of life 1. Yawn. Even the fact that she is undoubtedly a virgin does not excite me. on my team also really cool and nice so #notgivingheranumber i like never read anything she says tl;dr She's kind of interesting I do not know who this is. She is the new president, idioto. And sadly, not one likely to give us any scandal.
7. Miyu Ogawa: 3.5 man i’m all about a little yellow fever but this chick is
whack Which Asian is this one? i think she’s the japanese one who’s obsessed with that english kid, right?miyu is actually #supercool and also on my team #notrating her idk she’s kinda cuteShe's weird No. Too oblivious for flirting.
8. Sylvie Renoir: 5 she scares the shit out of me 8.5. Your simple American brain does not understand European women. They are artwork on legs. she COULD FREEZE YOUR DICK, BRO But why would she want to? It is of more use to her warm. #WHO? Lol Jonas I don't want to read about your warm dick um btw mike is canadian but not to completely stereotype myself i am sure she has a nice personality but idk about her. Maybe. She is Marine without the sense of humour, no?
9. Jasmine Torres: 4 this chick’s a little weird if you ask me 7.5. I have seen her use the nails, and it is interesting. she scares me :| we need to talk if nails do it for you bro I don't know No. In English you say, she is ‘too gangster’ for me?
10. Clea Skov: 5.5 eh, not into it. 7.5. A bit cold, but I suspect wild in the bedroom. Agreed. who???????? guys really. we need access to fb for this reason #who Pretty I guess Sure.
11. Ivy Heller: 4.5 kinda freaks me out There is an Ivy? i think she’s like 17 #jailbait she is def not like 17. but i am pretty sure she would punch you in the face in bed. she’s pretty hot tho Is she 17? Pass. Has a distinctly American ‘style’, but I would not say no.
12. Kirsten DiEmidio: 5.5 she’d be cute if it wasn’t for her power What is her power and who is she? she’s the amphibian froggy one yeah she seems like the kind of girl my mom would want me to marry #NOPE ohhh her. #maybe Cute frog. Lol maybe if u kiss her she turns into a prince(ss) lol Partial as I may be to fairy tales, Raphael Amante does not kiss frogs. lol no, he just IS one #burn
13. Sadie Thompson: 4.5 jailbait AND related to that sam kid. could you
imagine what he’d do if he heard you banged her? 2. #Nope i think she's in my spanish class OH WAIT I JUST FIGURED OUT WHO THAT SAM KID IS yeah no i would not date her for that reason :| Who is this Almost tempted if only to anger Sam. dude, he'd kick your ass. i mean, not like it's hard to do sam is the flipping worst he never lets me have any fun. pretty sure one day he’s gonna mess me up so bad even the healer nerd can’t fix me It is not easy to kick my ass. For once I will agree she is too young, in mind if not body.
14. Harlow Hart: 3. you know those teen comedies where the ugly chick takes off her glasses and suddenly she’s banging? yeah not the case here I did laugh. I do not even know who this is. well, she’s not that memorable. idk who this is either are her glasses supposed 2 be ironic? How do you wear glasses ironically i dare u 2 ask her Really? Annoying.
15. Catalina Mendez: 5. her face isn’t the hottest thing at this school I think I know who this is and I will be gracious and give her a 3. pretty sure you guys just looked up names on the internet #who No. I have been working on this. Progress is slow, but I suspect a worthwhile return.
16. Lo Fernandez: 5.5 this chick tries way too hard. bad girls are fucking
dull 4. Is her face stuck in that horrible expression? FILE UNDER: WOULD DEFINITELY PUNCH YOU IN BED - she's in my spanish class which is EL LOCO. definitely not. NOPE NEVER #NOPENOPENOPE WOULD PROBABLY CUT IT OFF lol tries 2 hard 2 be a #badass #notbuyingit #nojeah4lolo Would she really cut it off Not a chance on this earth. No grazie.
17. Yael Shafi: 5 pain girl? this shit’d be so much higher if she didn’t have a power that puts a whole new spin on rough sex 6.5. I'm interested in the pain thing. Could prove interesting. yeah, until it kills you. what are you, the guy from 50 shades of fucking grey? #NOPE she’s intense brosephs tl;dr I don't know, could be fun and worth the risk What is 50 shades of fucking grey. And no, not Yael. Humourless.
18. Jodi Duncan: 5.5 karim’s seriously retarded if he thinks SHE’s the hottest thing rooster has to offer 3. She dresses like a man, no? AND she’s dating a mormon. she’s probably dusty as fuck down under maybe she is just dating a mormon to be ironic. idg hipsters. why is it cool NOT to like things? i mean liking things is fun and also awesome. 1. hipsters r so overrated Not into it she's probably into death cab for cutie or some bullshit love of mine, someday u will die and i'll b close behind~~ She is weird. I prefer my women with at least a tough of femininity.
19. Devon Dackers: 3 another one who tries way too hard at the whole ‘bad girl’ thing 2. Not interested in pink hair. #Sorry doesn't she have pink hair? lol #nope I think she hates Australians well u picked on her hobbits I do not know who this is. Not interested.
20. Meena Mukherjee: 4 indian chicks can be sexy, but this one definitely isn’t. also jailbait? right? Don't know who this is, but if even Mike does not think she is sexy, she must not be. #LOL fuck you, i have GREAT taste guys she like spits acid or something. so i would not date her until she gets that under control which is too bad bc she's kind of cute #who Is she 17 too? think so! No. I find her attractive. I have never had an Indian.
21. Dani Davies: 6 boring 7. She is a lesbian, yes? Extra points because that is something I would not mind seeing. is she? i thought that was just bullshit. but i mean, yeah, i’d give her an extra point too if she was you do realize if she is into chicks there is no way she's going to let you watch right bro? This is not necessarily so, from my experience. #WHO? So many lesbians No.
22. Moira Bloom: 5 redheads REALLY aren’t my thing. also scottish accents aren’t nearly as hot as english ones 7. I am happy to take the redheads from you, Mike. #Hot the firecrotches are all yours, man you guys are def making shit up now Her name does sound fictional. From Harry Potter, perhaps. maybe she'll let u slytherin Some redheads are very pretty I would go for it.
23. Lilja Agnarsdottir Els Murong: 3.5 eh 3. #NOPE. what? def #nope No thanks I do not know who this is. I know her not.
24. Anabela Caballero: 5. don’t know enough about her to qualify her as hot Which one is this? in my classes, but she’s not a redhead, so. who? #who I guess I could She is really hot. Sweet, boring, no.
WHO IS THIS?
1. Rashida Mazibuko: and seriously how the fuck do you say that
name? 2. Fairly certain I do know who this is, and she looks like a child. NOW YOU GET TO THE WHO IS THIS SECTION??? rashida is p cool. during the drill we got stuck together under a desk, would not date but would share a beer with ra-she-da? She's on my team. I like her but I wouldn't sleep with her She complains a lot. Also too childish, in actions if not form.
2. Kitoko Habana: seriously, who? Do not know this one, however.. wtf idek She's also on my team. She's new. That's it I do not know who this is. She is new. Very serious, I do not think I am interested.
3. Gisele Bonnet: i’ll give her a 7 because that name’s hot as fuck. is she french? Haitian, I do believe. And an 8.5. i’ll take your word for it is she new? does she even go here? Dunno Who is this. She is beautiful. You may all continue to ignore her so I can face less competition.
4. Finlay McCracken: 4 because her name reminds me of that Kraken thing from pirates of the caribbean 6. Hot, but she always looks as if she just got news that her grandmother died. This is so. LOL not the sort of pained look i’m shooting for in bed you guys definitely made up this name i dont dig the short locks so no #jeah Lol the Kraken... She seems like a bitch.
5. Jamie Sinclair: no clue, sorry Not convinced this is a female. pretty sure you guys copied this name from the boys directory ugh so annoying She tried to give me porn. It was weird oh this is THAT chick? yeah, what a fucking weirdo She tried to give you porn. Dowdy, boyish, no.
6. Providence Segokgu: ??? The one prov is super cool and awesome. she's hands down the coolest lady here. #youguyssuck #onmyteamnonumber lol @ all the jack and prov drama Lol What drama? ur just lucky brad is actually worse than u at knowing nethang Attractive, but I think matching wits with her would be exhausting.
7. Ellie Wolf: ????? 5. Points for the hair, but she is a nerd. also on my team but cool really nice hair but never talked 2 her 5 points for hair wow what the fuck, who cares about a chick's hair? is it made from gold or something? Maybe. The point is moot, gentlemen. She is of a sapphic disposition. dude, what the fuck does that even mean? Lesbian. Oh I thought it meant she liked sap ...like maple syrup? Clearly a fetish for Mike.
8. Rose Walker: is she ginger? did she run for something? Wait, is this the redhead nerd? Are there two? no clue, i get them all confused. rose is awesome. you guys suck. she’s the ~sexutary~ brosephs Not sure about this one I thought she was a lesbian. I have seen no sex appeal from this one.
9. Isla Wolfe: who ARE these chicks 7.5. Points for speaking French, but slightly less for being Canadian. oooh THIS is the teleporter chick? 7 and don’t hate on the canadians #canadapride Ah yes, I always forget you are a Canadian. You are the worst kind of Canadian AND American, #Congratulations #JK #LOL LOL as long as i’m the best kind in BED. HOW DO YOU GUYS NOT KNOW ANYONE ON MY TEAM? ALSO WHY IS MY TEAM LIKE ALL GIRLS? brosephs she’s hot why isn’t she on the other list? She is hot Is she related to the redhead Wolf? She is hot indeed, and an enthusiastic lover. 10
10. Tanja Roze: think she’s jailbait, so no 4. Ah, the toddler cheerleader, yes? ALSO ON MY TEAM WHAT THE HELL she’s pretty nice tho Stop with the 17 year olds No Too immature.
11. Jaelle Kallop: ? No idea. #teameagle #who Nice, I think I do not know who this is. Not interested.
12. April Kwon: i’d give her points for being asian, because most of them are so hot 7. On my team. Another #IceQueen definitely not approachable. no opinion Who is this I do not know who this is. Frigid.
13. Qamar al-Masri: don’t know her, don’t care Do not be such a racist. That said, 6. i have definitely noticed a pattern here dudes so not racist, i gave whitney like a 9 ??? Who is this I do not know who this is. Another new arrival, No? I have not yet investigated.
14. Delia Ibanez: no fucking clue 4 because her name sounds hot. name sounding hot is not a way to grade a chick. Who is this She is really hot. I do not know her.
15. Teresa Flores: no idea. Me either. she makes plants grow - how do i not know any of the same girls as you guys Misplaced priorities. #who Who is this She is all right. Far too Catholic.
16. Hedda Ostergard: dude i don’t even know how to get the keys to type her name right 9. I have had my eye on her. You are such an American. Or Canadian. Whatever you are, it is bad. i think you have to dl a program or something idk. i also don't know who she is. wait maybe i do. maybe? lol #hot u brosephs r #blindasbats Who is this i feel like you know even less people than i do, brah I'm not good with names She is cute but not hot. Not memorable.
17. Shannon Reid: mikael, is this the truth chick? on your team? does she ever talk? ? who is this? #who I'm confused THAT IS NOT SURPRISIN BROSEPH U R ALWAYS CONFUSED I don't know. I don't talk to her. Yes she is on our team. Pretty but quiet, likely very inexperienced.
18. Cheska Barry: is this the chick that once made that one kid’s shirt disappear? 6. Irish. Not bad. ?????????????????????????????????? oh i know who she is. seems nice. ok but don’t dig the short locks Still confused seriously. did ur mom drop u on ur head when u were a baby? :( just sayin I do not know who this is. Would need to change her look.
19. Saraswati Shah: she scored low on rooster’s VILF list but apparently those are pretty fucking skewed (except when it comes to MY score, let’s be honest) 6. Too sweet. p nice She's really pretty She is pretty. As said before I would very much like to sample an Indian, but I suspect this one is too conservative.
20. Honor Hightower: who? Who would give their child this name? guys is this someone from game of thrones? #who Kind of annoying but hot I do not know who this is. She is attractive, but naive.
21. Savannah Bordeaux: is she that redhead on the student council? She is feisty and she speaks French, although poorly. 7. she's from new orleans and beat me in stuco but idk what she looks like i feel like she’s going 2 lecture me sumday if i like walk 2 close to her More gingers Too bossy. She is from the part of America with actual charisma, si? I would like to try her.
22. Leigh Tharp: no idea American, I think? american. cool. but she's really into like doomsday and stuff. #probablywouldnotdate yeah, still no idea she’s a’right Who is this She has what you call crazy eyes. Not interested.
23. Jade McNulty: again, who? 2. Another #NotHot lesbian. who? #WHO???? More lesbians? How many lesbians does this stupid school have? SERIOUSLY She will not be in my lesbian fantasies.
24. Toni Sarmiento: ? ? ????? church/team friend. she’s insane cool Seems a little bit crazy I do not know who this is. Sometimes I cannot resist a challenge. One day we shall either have the most glorious sex, or she will stab me in the eye. lbr. probably the latter Then I shall make eyepatches in vogue.
MALE OR FEMALE?
1. Bryn Jonasdottir: automatic 0 cause i seriously can’t tell #Concerning icelandic justin bieber #NOPE I thought this one was Justin Bieber for a little bit so IS this a guy? She is one of the Icelanders but I am still not sure. I think a girl. lol if u don’t know whos got any hope of workin it out lol Legitimately uncertain.
2. Kristijan Dragovic: ditto #Disturbing no idea Might be a girl Who is this. Truthfully I thought he was a woman for our first three weeks here. soo it IS a guy? but he's fucking obsessed with hair. #dontunderstand Yes. I almost bought him a drink at pub night once