InsaneJournal

Tweak says, ""Follow your dreams!""

Scorpius Malfoy (hd_scorpius) wrote in hogwarts_dawn,
@ 2021-06-19 14:25:00

Entry tags:

character: draco malfoy, character: james s. potter, character: scorpius malfoy, character: theodore nott

RP: Making Decisions
Who: Scorpius, open to multiple tails
When: throughout the day, 19th June
Where: infirmary
What: Scorpius has been thinking about what Marlene had said

Marlene had given him a lot to think about. Until their discussion, he had assumed that he'd be covered in scars for the rest of his life. Sure, they could work to make them a little less obvious, but they couldn't cure them. What Marlene was suggesting meant recreating his entire body. Except that it wouldn't be exactly his body, because spells weren't that perfect and it was better to be something else that trying to get it exactly right and botching it.

He'd never heard of it before, but then he supposed that for a few burns, people wouldn't consider changing who they were. He couldn't imagine Charlie Weasley losing his scars, for example. Of course, they could try to get as close to his look as possible and keep their fingers crossed. It was a possibility, but he could also be someone else.

For years, he'd played at being a woman, with dresses and make up. It had made him famous. The boy who could look like a boy or a girl. He'd walked down the catwalks for both styles. If he did what he was thinking of doing, he'd be boringly female, but would he be happier? Would she be happier?

Scorpius knew that he had to talk about it. Normally he'd have talked about it with Albus, but he was petrified at the moment, instead, he brought it up with his visitors.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

Re: Jamie and Scorpius

hd_scorpius
2021-06-20 08:48 pm UTC (link)

"Glad that we understand each other," he said, smiling. Scorpius kept his eyes on Jamie, since it was the only way to keep contact at the moment. "You do- did spend a lot of time looking perfect for the outside world, to give the impression that you were superhuman, just like your dad. People who know you might tease you about it, but none of us believe that mask. We all know how terribly imperfect you are," he teased.

Scorpius rolled his eyes. "There's expectations and there's attraction. When I see a naked woman, I'm not thinking that I want to bang her, but that I want to look like her. You either feel that attraction or don't. I'm not saying that you're attracted to every woman on the planet, but that you are attracted by the female form. You can solve that one by figuring out if you come thinking of a woman. Not that it means you can't enjoy the male form either."

He wanted to bang his head against the wall. "I know, but I can't decide. I see myself as a woman, but I also see myself as a man, but I'm pretty sure that I'll have to pick one and I don't know if I want that. I want to be both. Why isn't there a way to be both?" he asked with a sigh. "I took the first potion to rebuild healthy flesh. It'll be a few days before I have to decide. I just don't know."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Jamie and Scorpius

curseseeker
2021-06-20 11:20 pm UTC (link)

"Do, did, will again?" Jamie added with a wry smirk. It wasn't needed right now. But, that was why he'd pushed to have his dad put him in position to manage communications. If that facade was needed again to protect his family and the people here, Jamie would do it without question. "Not that the people who know me would have any idea about public faces and private faces?" was his own teasing return.

"I'm well aware of the difference. But, there are also plenty of stories about people who subconsciously repress their attraction to men, who convince themselves they're attracted to women and are perfectly capable of performing in the bedroom regardless. It's not like I've ever spent an inordinate amount of time wondering if I was really attracted to whatever woman was the one night stand of the moment." He'd had one actual relationship in his life and he'd never once thought of it as anything more than 'comfortable'. How would he know the difference? "I don't think it's unreasonable, when faced with that kind of realization about oneself, to wonder about what came before."

Sighing, Jamie pulled his chair closer so he could lean on the edge of the bed, far enough within Scorpius' 'personal space' it could serve for the friendly arm Jamie couldn't put around his shoulders. "Hate to break it to you, but I can't decide for you. Sorry." And it had to be maddening to have to make that kind of decision in such a short time. "Have you asked if you'd have to pick? Maybe there's something more...in between? Something that would let you feel like both? I don't know if that even makes sense," he added with a confused frown.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Jamie and Scorpius

hd_scorpius
2021-06-21 12:00 am UTC (link)

"Not really do, considering how small our little group is and the fact that you're related to half of them." And even the people that weren't blood related had some sort of connection like Scorpius and Draco. "Oh yes, never could understand the difference. It's not like Malfoys ever make that distinction."

Scorpius shrugged. "Maybe it's the fact that I worked in fashion and everyone was gay, or bi, or experimenting. I'm not even sure I know anyone straight. I thought you were and you went and ruined my claim to fame. Maybe Lilu. I should ask."

He groaned at the answer. "I know. I almost wish that someone could make the decision for me." He smiled. "Oh love, you can be so sweet and innocent. Sure, I can pick a face that's androgynous enough, like mine, but there's no in between a pussy and a vagina. I should have had Teddy's power. His talent was wasted on him. You're good with weird spells. Are there any spells that could let me switch at will? That'd be the best."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Jamie and Scorpius

curseseeker
2021-06-21 03:16 am UTC (link)

"Nah, only related to about..." Counting in his head, Jamie ended with a shrug. "Okay, yeah, about half of them." He laughed and shook his head. He really was related to half the people there, some more distantly than others. "Yeah, that's what I thought, those Malfoys. No sense of discretion." He couldn't help snorting at that. Even in jest he couldn't say it with a straight face.

He chuckled softly. "You thought I was straight, but offered sex anyway?" He didn't know about the people in the fashion industry. Jamie had done a few sponsorships, some photoshoots for select publications. But, he hadn't been in that world, didn't know it the way Scorpius did. "I'm still in the big brother camp that says no one should be touching my little sister until she's at least fifty. So, I'll let you do the asking there," he added with another laugh.

"Me? Sweet?" He bat his lashes like an idiot, just for the laugh. "But, I think you mean ignorant in this case, since it's really not something I know much about." Thinking about it, he shook his head. "Sorry. There's a few glamour spells, but they make others see you differently. They don't actually make you what they see. Honestly, you probably don't want me to know of one, considering I work mainly with curses and malevolent spells." Anything he might come across would probably exact far too high a price for a temporary illusion.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Jamie and Scorpius

hd_scorpius
2021-06-21 03:29 am UTC (link)

"When will you learn that I'm always right? Just accept and your life will be so much easier. It's taken me years to train Albus, but he finally gets it. I'll just have to do the same with you," he teased, before snorting. "Oh, I know. They wear their hearts on their sleeves."

Scorpius shrugged. "I was horny and running out of options. Besides I didn't really think that you would be interested. It was a surprise." He rolled his eyes. "Sure, she's the Virgin Mary, although in this place, you don't have to worry. We're all turning into monks and nuns, with very few exceptions."

He knew that no one probably had the answer, because who was crazy enough to want this. "Okay, so you're good at research, see if you can find something. Ideally, something that could mimic what a metamorphmagus does, but I doubt there is anything quite like that. There are species that are hermaphrodite, maybe something like it? I have no idea and I'm stuck here. Granted, Hogwarts is probably not the place to find that information."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Jamie and Scorpius

curseseeker
2021-06-21 04:03 am UTC (link)

"It might take longer with me. I'm a bit more stubborn and sure that I'm right," Jamie teased back, although this was only half a joke. He might be willing to listen to other opinions, but he was generally slow to change his own. "Very emotional." He nodded sagely, fighting another smirk.

It was Jamie's turn to shrug as he was well aware he'd kept his sexual discovery well under wraps while he sorted things out for himself in private. "Hush now. I can't hear such talk. Little sisters must remain pure as the driven snow." As if Lilu would ever let him get away with that! "At least monks and nuns have a calling to blame their celibacy on." Of course, Jamie was related to half the people there, so that was another wrench in things even if one discounted his innate ability to trust the longevity of discretion in such a small society.

"I can see what I can come up with, at the very least maybe there's something we can modify a bit to do what you need." Hogwarts library might not be a great source of information, but they'd collected everything they found in the village, were looking into the manors, if nothing else, there might be something old and forgotten in the library from home. "The latter might take more than a few days, though."

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(Read comments) -