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Tweak says, "you're a couple of what?!"

hdcup_mod (hdcup_mod) wrote in hd_worldcup,
@ 2008-04-06 14:34:00

Entry tags:

fic, prompt: justice, r, round i, team epilogue

An Interpretation on Justice (the Aurors and Assassins Mix) - Team Epilogue
Title: An Interpretation on Justice (the Aurors and Assassins Mix)
Team: Epilogue
Author: noticeably
Prompt: Justice
Wordcount: 16,000
Rating: R
Warnings: Angst, character death, infidelity.
Summary: The little-known truth about floor sixteen and the department that inhabits it is this: the ten witches and wizards that sit in the front, while attending to things like paperwork and other trivial matters, are only a front to appease the few easily confused, lost individuals that happen to wander into the department unannounced, most usually when looking for another floor.
Author's Note Information on Justice (and the reversal) can be found here and here. Many thanks to my teammates for all of their help and encouragement! ♥

An Interpretation on Justice (the Aurors and Assassins Mix)

For a description of teams, please see our FAQ.

Poll #1329
Open to: All, results viewable to: None

1. Is the author/artist true to their team? Yes/No vote ("yes" is worth 2 points, "no" is worth 0)

2. How well did the author/artist use their Prompt? 1 to 9 (1 being the least)

3. How much did you like this story/art overall? 1 to 9 (1 being the least)

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ergh.
(Anonymous)
2008-04-07 08:34 am UTC (link)

first of all, sorry for the anon... don't have IJ.

just some hopefully-constructive criticism. this was somewhat awkwardly written and inadequately characterized. it seems like too much attention was paid to insignificant descriptive details, and not enough to motivations and attaining an honest "voice" for the characters, specifically Harry. HP/TL was mildly ridiculous and seems not thought-out. I usually enjoy Albus and Scorpius as friends, and for the most part i did in your story, but in this case Albus' gruff, unkind manner was a bit over the top and... maybe not necessary for plot development? i think the assassin angle could have worked, but likely would have fared better with about 10,000 more words to give it the backstory, development, and slightly more sensitive handling such a plot point would require. i think that if you're going to significantly change our expectations of characterization to the degree it seemed you did, you need to give yourself more story length to get it done convincingly and honestly.

all in all, i enjoyed the premise in theory... i just think it ran away with you a bit! :>

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