ergh.
first of all, sorry for the anon... don't have IJ.
just some hopefully-constructive criticism. this was somewhat awkwardly written and inadequately characterized. it seems like too much attention was paid to insignificant descriptive details, and not enough to motivations and attaining an honest "voice" for the characters, specifically Harry. HP/TL was mildly ridiculous and seems not thought-out. I usually enjoy Albus and Scorpius as friends, and for the most part i did in your story, but in this case Albus' gruff, unkind manner was a bit over the top and... maybe not necessary for plot development? i think the assassin angle could have worked, but likely would have fared better with about 10,000 more words to give it the backstory, development, and slightly more sensitive handling such a plot point would require. i think that if you're going to significantly change our expectations of characterization to the degree it seemed you did, you need to give yourself more story length to get it done convincingly and honestly.
all in all, i enjoyed the premise in theory... i just think it ran away with you a bit! :>