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Tweak says, "it's hard to let it go"

hdcup_mod (hdcup_mod) wrote in hd_worldcup,
@ 2008-04-06 14:34:00

Entry tags:

fic, prompt: justice, r, round i, team epilogue

An Interpretation on Justice (the Aurors and Assassins Mix) - Team Epilogue
Title: An Interpretation on Justice (the Aurors and Assassins Mix)
Team: Epilogue
Author: noticeably
Prompt: Justice
Wordcount: 16,000
Rating: R
Warnings: Angst, character death, infidelity.
Summary: The little-known truth about floor sixteen and the department that inhabits it is this: the ten witches and wizards that sit in the front, while attending to things like paperwork and other trivial matters, are only a front to appease the few easily confused, lost individuals that happen to wander into the department unannounced, most usually when looking for another floor.
Author's Note Information on Justice (and the reversal) can be found here and here. Many thanks to my teammates for all of their help and encouragement! ♥

An Interpretation on Justice (the Aurors and Assassins Mix)

For a description of teams, please see our FAQ.

Poll #1329
Open to: All, results viewable to: None

1. Is the author/artist true to their team? Yes/No vote ("yes" is worth 2 points, "no" is worth 0)

2. How well did the author/artist use their Prompt? 1 to 9 (1 being the least)

3. How much did you like this story/art overall? 1 to 9 (1 being the least)

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Comment contains spoilers! (In case you glance over here before reading the fic)

greenjuly
2008-04-06 07:07 pm UTC (link)

What an interesting fic!

I'm not much of a fan of stories written in the first person, but you really made it work here.

Albus and Scorpius being BFFs is fast becoming a cliche in HP fanfic, but it's a cliche that I love. (Let's face it, JK was asking for it with that epilogue!) I really enjoyed reading your depiction of their friendship, and how he supported Al even if he had his doubts about his drama ( Scorpius looks almost apologetic, as though he really wishes he was somewhere else.) In fact, I enjoyed the supporting cast a lot. Astoria was especially great.

I don't like cheater!Ginny as a rule, but this was handled alright. Harry/Teddy, though? WTF!!! I realize that it was meant to be so (and acknowledged as such in the fic) but, urgh. This is one point of the story that I’d criticize ... because no matter how unhappy Harry was in his marriage, I absolutely don’t see him as a cheater -- and especially not with his godson. To me, him shagging Hermione is more likely.

I loved the hitman/assassin running gag :

When hearing this term, Draco will tilt his head to the side and scowl, pointing out that he really rather prefers the term assassin, to be honest, thank you very much.
"Hit man sounds so common."

Ha ha ha! Also, I straightaway thought of the Assassin's Guild from Discworld, where it is a matter of honour to be an Assassin rather than a common murderer.

I like the idea of a Ministry Legend. (Also, what did Marietta do to get on the List? Poor girl, she gets a rough deal).

One thing, though : you're Team Epilogue, yet this fic is epilogue-compliant, or at least appears to be, thereby not being EWE. It doesn't matter to me either way, but I just was a bit puzzled.

Note : comment re-posted because I made an error and am anal about that kind of thing ...

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	Ooops greenjuly 2008-04-06 07:16 pm UTC (link)
	My bad. I got confused between Team EWE and Team Epilogue (the latter being Epilogue-compliant, the former not). The four teams are listed as Fanon, Canon, EWE and DH in the FAQ, so I was thinking in those terms, and equated Team EWE with Team Epilogue (a.k.a Team DH as it was originally called) when I saw your fic. Apologies! (Reply to this) (Parent)

ergh.
(Anonymous)
2008-04-07 08:34 am UTC (link)

first of all, sorry for the anon... don't have IJ.

just some hopefully-constructive criticism. this was somewhat awkwardly written and inadequately characterized. it seems like too much attention was paid to insignificant descriptive details, and not enough to motivations and attaining an honest "voice" for the characters, specifically Harry. HP/TL was mildly ridiculous and seems not thought-out. I usually enjoy Albus and Scorpius as friends, and for the most part i did in your story, but in this case Albus' gruff, unkind manner was a bit over the top and... maybe not necessary for plot development? i think the assassin angle could have worked, but likely would have fared better with about 10,000 more words to give it the backstory, development, and slightly more sensitive handling such a plot point would require. i think that if you're going to significantly change our expectations of characterization to the degree it seemed you did, you need to give yourself more story length to get it done convincingly and honestly.

all in all, i enjoyed the premise in theory... i just think it ran away with you a bit! :>

(Reply to this)

	(Anonymous) 2008-04-07 09:06 am UTC (link)
	I, too, usualy do not like first person fics much. This one hooked me, though, right from the beginning. Great job! (Reply to this)

ships_harry
2008-04-07 09:59 pm UTC (link)

Okay, I have no idea why people keep saying this is written in first person, when it's written in present tense third person!

I think there are some areas I would've liked to see more on - like the conflict between the internal Ministry departments, when the Aurors aren't supposed to solve the assassinations - but overall, I enjoyed this. Coming at this primarily by way of the kids was an interesting approach, making it fresh and different :).

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	greenjuly 2008-04-08 04:17 am UTC (link)
	You're right! I accidentally wrote "first person" when I meant "present tense", and perhaps my comment led the anon poster to make the same mistake. (Reply to this) (Parent)

floooeee
2008-04-08 07:21 am UTC (link)

Oh poor Teddy! I wonder if this has a continuation... :)
Albus and Scorpius! <3 Gah they were just adorable in this. All of Albus's dramatics and Scorpius's interactions with his father were immensely amusing and enjoyable. I also liked the element of mystery! Also, Draco's insistance on the 'assassin' thing? LOL XD
Although, with the mutual hint of attraction between Harry and Draco at the end, Im left wondering about Astoria. She and Draco did seem rather close. Well, close enough for Draco to confide in her about his Ginny dilemma...
Oh well, I still liked it though! Well done!

(Reply to this)

pirateninjax.livejournal.com
2008-04-23 07:20 pm UTC (link)

"Talk to you later, then, Draco." Susan says, waving as she closes her office door. Susan? *confused* i literally had to stop and go back to try and figure out who the hell was Susan and then realized you probably meant Tracey.

GINNY?! O.O That's sucks. And I also got very confused at the sudden change from Teddy to Lupin [since he and Scorpius are related somehow] but eh. I would assume he would do Teddy Lupin since he did Hermione Weasley.

i love albus and his moody self. *huggles him* but i'm rather iffy on the ending, really, since it was kind of a jump to put h/d together >.

(Reply to this)