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Tweak says, "everyone hates hermione"

_rebelrebel (_rebelrebel) wrote in flippedrpg,
@ 2013-06-25 22:14:00

Entry tags:

ch: knap: remus lupin, ch: knap: sirius black, p: emmy, p: veetee

Who: Sirius and Remus^Knap
What: Early morning cuddles
When: Tuesday morning
Where: Remus' room
Warnings: None

He hadn't expected it to turn into more than one night. But it had, because some part of Sirius was afraid that if he wasn't as close to Remus as humanly possible, Remus was going to slip out of his grasp. And the truth of the matter was that he could only sleep when he was pressed against Remus; it was the only time he felt safe anymore, when all the hurt of everything that had happened receded into a manageable ache.

He didn't know what he was suppose to do that, now that he had lost the Remus who had been here when he had arrived; his James; Sirilla. It took everything in him not to simply start stalking Lily as well. He was convinced that one of the two of them was going to disappear at any moment.

In the morning, there were usually a few minutes when he actually was fine -- when everything he was trying to forget was actually gone. Sirius blinked sleepily from where he was still plastered across Remus' side, even though it was really a little too warm to be this close. His hair was in his face and he peered at the window, where sunlight was streaming in and then resolutely ignored it. He buried his face a little more against Remus' shoulder, one of his arms still thrown across Remus' chest. He was quiet as he listened to Moony breathe.

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suavemoony
2013-06-27 02:44 am UTC (link)

Remus wasn't necessarily unused to having another in his bed but it was never quite like this. Back home, he typically expected that the person he took to bed be gone by morning or vice versa. He rarely woke with company and whenever he did, the nights prior wasn't spent cuddling in a post shag haze. No, he would sleep with his head buried in the pillow and with distance between them.

Yet, with Sirius, he was laying against the mattress on his back and practically right up against Sirius. He would wrap his arm around him, holding him close, or allowing the other man to do the same; completely enjoying the proximity in ways he wasn't used to.

When he did stir, he rubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand and looked down to see Sirius, giving him a groggy light smile. "Hi," he murmured in a tired voice but the gladness that Sirius hadn't disappeared in the night, whether by his own devices or by the Scientist's hand, was clear.

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_rebelrebel
2013-06-27 02:51 am UTC (link)

"Hey," Sirius answered just as quietly, looking up at Remus when he felt him begin to shift. He returned the smile, his own just as tentative, but it was always a relief when Remus was here. One small thing that was right to start the day off. The rest of it, he already knew, was going to be spent quietly mourning James' departure, fumbling through everything.

He'd go to the pet store and do whatever needed to be done, but the building seemed empty after Sirilla's leaving. The only thing that kept him from abandoning the endeavor entirely was the knowledge that he didn't want to do anything else. So he kept himself through the routine. He'd talk to Lily, the kids, make pretend they he was okay, assure them he loved all of them. Be terrified of what would happen if he was sent away without his consent.

But for now, at least, there was some protection from all that.

"Would it be wrong to just hide up here all day?" Sirius asked, trying to make it come off like a joke and not entirely succeeding.

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suavemoony
2013-06-27 03:21 am UTC (link)

His hand shifted, fingers brushing up into the strands of hair that had found their way out of place to hang down in his eyes, shoving them back as he continued to try and wake. Remus, himself, hadn't yet ventured out to try and find some means of employment. He was still trying to really figure out what he wanted to do here. And he had been stalling, after all, James had been wanting to go on a vacation.

There had been brief plans but the generalized consensus was they were all going to begin the life they had back home, just many years earlier. And all of that had changed.

"I think we would worry people if we did," he replied, giving him a honest answer, but refusing to shoot down the idea. It wasn't necessarily a bad one.

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_rebelrebel
2013-06-27 04:07 am UTC (link)

"We could put a lovely note in the journals first," Sirius said, his teasing a little better this time. "'Lazing about all day. Please don't disturb.' Or something of the sort."

He couldn't help but smile a little when he saw Remus try and push his hair out of his face. It wasn't like James' -- never like James', whose hair was always an utter mess. Instead, there was always something a little charming when Remus' hair got a little too long, as if it had managed to sneak up on him without him knowing.

He watched for only a moment before finally beginning to unwind himself from Remus, pulling away, figuring Remus needed some space. He half sat up, back pressed against the headboard, a few inches of sheets between them now.

"You want me to clear off tonight?" Sirius asked, tone neutral and easy, even though the question was anything but. He didn't know what exactly was happening between them. He'd always been very tactile, eagerly climbing into Remus' or James' beds, grabbing at the two of them even when it wasn't all that appropriate. But there was an edge now that Sirius didn't think had been there before. Or maybe he just hadn't been aware of it. But it seemed to have been building ever since this young Remus had arrived in the compound. It was drowned by the hardship of having James disappear, but that didn't mean it wasn't here all the same. Yet, Sirius was afraid. He didn't want Remus to feel like he was cornered, trapped by some future that was a long way off. He knew that he wasn't even close to being that man yet, and he was desperate to help Remus find whatever he needed to be happy here, even if it meant getting out of the way.

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suavemoony
2013-07-04 03:09 am UTC (link)

"That might give an interesting impression," he replied, with a wide grin, returning the tone of the conversation. Though he spoke of impressions, he ignored the undertone that could be implied with the statement, instead letting his eyes linger on the smile that Sirius was giving him. So many nights he had tried to recreate that smile in his memory, with the sound of his voice or his laugh to accompany the wandering images, but it was beyond satisfying to actually see it for himself once again. Even if it wasn't in the manner or way he would have like. They finally had a chance to all be together, far ahead of schedule, and then they had to snatch James from them.

With a shift of his elbow, he lifted himself up in response to Sirius unwinding from him, and the smile faltered, finger tips itching to reach out and take Sirius' hand, to pull him back down against him. He ignored the impulse and focused instead on the words, analyzing the tone as they were spoke, and his smile continued to slip.

"Why would you think I would?"

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_rebelrebel
2013-07-04 03:38 am UTC (link)

"Are you worried about sullying my good reputation, Moons?" Sirius asked teasingly in return, still grinning wildly. Somehow, he never realized how much he missed this -- this simplicity -- until it was right in front of him. He would give anything to go back to their years at Hogwarts. He knew he had hurt Lily when he'd said it when he was younger, but that didn't mean he didn't ache for those effortless times between him and Remus and James. Times they hadn't even known were special then.

Because, now, things were always fleeting. He watched the smile slip away from Remus' face and tried to sort out just what had happened.

"Thought you'd want some space," Sirius said neutrally, shrugging one shoulder in an idle sort of way even though he continued to look over at Remus. Time to be by himself -- with other people. Whatever.

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suavemoony
2013-07-04 04:18 am UTC (link)

"Not necessarily used to being alone," was all he said in response, as it was true. Sure, on occasion he and James would part for a few weeks to look into two leads simultaneously, but this was incredibly rare. And in those instances, nearly always, Remus made sure he had company at night to keep himself from feeling like he was alone. He didn't like to be and it was that simple.

"But, if you want space, that's fine. You do what you want," he added to the tail end of his words, shifting to sit up himself, and adding to the gesture, his legs swung over the bed to make a go at standing. He suddenly felt as if staying in the bed was a bad idea but the movement also felt like one, in retrospect, but he couldn't just stop midway.

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_rebelrebel
2013-07-06 03:26 am UTC (link)

He had taken another misstep. He didn't know exactly what was happening, but it was clear from Remus' tone of voice, from the way he wouldn't look at him, the way he was turned away -- something was wrong. And Sirius couldn't stand it, the way how the man next to him could so easily flip from his Remus into some strange he didn't know and he didn't know how to deal with.

"Remus," he said, his voice turning a bit too sharp. It was nearly a command. He moved across the bed when Remus shifted, and he didn't even know if he was reaching for Remus or not. He didn't know if it was the right thing to do. "Stop shutting me out," his voice carried the same edge.

His gaze remained fixated on Remus' back, willing him to turn around and look at him again, He didn't let his hands connect with Moony -- not just yet.

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