InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "HIDE YO KIDS, HIDE YO WIFE"

Remus Lupin is a badass. (crescered) wrote in flippedrpg,
@ 2012-09-23 18:23:00

Entry tags:

ch: div: remus lupin, ch: squib: sirius black, p: lisa ii, p: silyara

Who: Remus Lupin^div & Sirius Black^baby
What: Talking. Remus is bringing tea.
Where: Sirius' room
When: Sunday afternoon/evening
Warnings: "Fan required" - Sil

It took Remus longer than he anticipated because he stopped to make tea. Since it would have been rude to show up at someone's door with your own tea and none to offer, he then had to make two cups. He then carried them to Sirius' room and tapped on the door with the toe of his boots. Sure, he could have used several spells to make the whole process easier, but he really didn't care. Especially not now with his mind distracted as it was. His earlier conversation with Theodora had his thoughts going in plenty of directions.

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doggingdoes
2012-09-23 10:32 pm UTC (link)

With how everything had been going so well lately, the sudden ominous tone in what Remus had written concerned him. He'd been living as much as he could, focused on other things, and making good progress on getting over Oscar. It'd been a couple weeks since he'd dumped him and a few more before that since he knew it was over. Time passed, and that was good. He was healthy again, and well, everything had been wonderful. Astrid had even showed up, again.

But Remus sounded different, and the explaining sounded, well, not a happy fun flirty explaining. So Sirius sighed and paced, finding it harder to write to people across the journals when something was coming, something possibly bad, and he had no idea what. Weren't they good? He and Remus? He'd thought they were perfectly wonderful. So when there was a sound at the door, Sirius made a beeline, opening it without even waiting a moment on the other side. "Come in, oh tea," Sirius smiled a little and held the door open.

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crescered
2012-09-23 10:44 pm UTC (link)

Remus hadn't meant to sound so mysterious and ominous. But he hadn't been in a great mood to start with; the journal entry they had been writing over was more about a mental health situation. And it applied to everyone. They were only two days into this world and while some seemed pleased with it, others were more or less falling apart. They couldn't resist seeing the absolute worse, even knowing that it wouldn't make things immediately better. It took some courage.

"Hi," he smiled, the expression genuine so that may have seemed like there was nothing wrong in the first place. "Yes, tea always makes me feel better. It would have been rude to not have any to offer. So - here." Remus handed over the extra cup as he moved inside, taking a sip of his own.

"I'm...new to this whole parenting thing still," he admitted, continuing to move around as if trying to find a place to sit, though he glanced back at Sirius with a shrug. "Theo saw her parents die at the battle in their world. And she - well, she was mad because they chose to leave her behind when she was only a month old. They took the risk of dying and it happened so she grew up alone. I know I'm not her actual father, but she called me dad, and I do feel that way with her, and so I feel absolutely terrible. It wasn't my decision but..." Remus paused and took a breath, chewing on his lip for a second.

"I don't want to think I would ever do that my child, even though I can understand that they were fighting for a better world for her and everyone else. I just can't think of abandoning her, or him. It's hard to see it from the other side." As he eventually trailed off, he blinked up at Sirius, slightly caught off guard by his own word vomit. The sheepish look he worse was an enough of an apology for the time being.

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doggingdoes
2012-09-23 11:52 pm UTC (link)

There was too much going on to be able to keep up with everyone and help everyone, and well, Sirius had long known he couldn't help everyone with everything. But some places made that reminder come on a bit stronger. Juniper's entry, the way another him had said Peter, a different Peter but a version of her dad nonetheless, was evil. It ... Sirius didn't have anything he could say to make that better. He hadn't been able to truly accept it yet, that Peter had done something like that in another world. Another Peter. That was like suggesting James was evil or Remus or Lily or Molly or Hes or Tuni. It made no sense to him, but they didn't have wars in his world. They didn't have the same decisions. And the more he saw of other worlds, the more Sirius preferred that.

Taking the cup of tea, Sirius felt anything but better or reassured. Instead he closed the door, still holding the tea in one hand and looked at Remus, trying to find any clue as to what was going on. Thankfully, Remus chose to talk about it. The myriad of options would have made guessing hard. There was a small settling of relief to just know that Remus had a problem, yes, but it wasn't about them. He wondered then if that made him a bit selfish because Remus clearly was feeling a lot of things that weren't all good. But he moved on quickly enough.

Parenting. Sirius had experience there. So he listened, finding a seat easily himself and watching Remus's face. "You are new to it and so were your alternate selves," Sirius replied, "You and Tonks are both the type of people who try to save the world, who want to save it. You didn't think you were abandoning your child, and you made a decision, the other you's did. They didn't get a chance to think about it in its entirety, about what it meant for their child, about what it means on a different kind of picture.

"You get to learn the lesson every parent does eventually: as soon as you have a child, the world revolves around them. Your first priority changes forever. You shouldn't feel guilty now. You should just learn and be the best parent you can be." Sirius spoke for a small amount of time in his opinion. He may not have known about wars. But he was a damn good father.

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crescered
2012-09-24 12:05 am UTC (link)

Some moments after Sirius sat down, Remus did the same, directly across from him. At some point in his life, Remus had been a shy boy who didn't open up much. He worried about what people might think of him, that he was weird, or they wouldn't like him for being a werewolf. Eventually that all fell away, whether it was a landscape or just growing up and realizing that he didn't have to worry about it. Now he could say what was on his mind and still manage to stare at Sirius with wide, honest eyes that took in every word he heard.

"I know," he agreed softly. "I don't know if I can say that I wouldn't have done the same. If we'd lost, I doubt either of us wouldn't put some blame on ourselves." And then the world would have been horrible until another hope came along. But Harry had been the key, it seemed, so Remus wondered if there would ever be some hope. That's why they fought; that's why he would have fought.

"But...You're right. Without a war, that's how it would be." So maybe he wasn't destined for anything like that. "I'm trying. I want to be there for all of them, so I talked to Theo and I think it's good. Eris still worries me but I think we would get along well." He already loved every kid of his alternate selves. He knew Sirius had plenty of experience in this department and that's why he had brought it up.

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doggingdoes
2012-09-24 12:21 am UTC (link)

New parenthood was never easy, whether it was one kid or six. There wasn't any comparing to be done between parents, there wasn't any point. A child was a child, and a child that was yours, ours that made all the difference. Comments on war and the outcome of war and all that, Sirius really didn't feel like he had as much to say on that. He knew a person could make all the difference. But between a war and his children? Sirius wasn't sure what would happen when, if it came to that. And he was glad, all kinds of glad, he didn't have to.

"There's no easy choice, in parenting or, I suspect, war. You may never get to know which choice is the right choice. In some worlds, there isn't a right choice, not a completely right one. There's just two hard options, each of which have their costs. I'm not judging you for what they chose or telling you what to choose should it come down to you. That's your choice," Sirius replied. He didn't want to make that choice for someone else. If he had to, he was always able to make a choice and commit to it fully, to see it through the best he could.

"It's not easy, being a parent and even less so an alternato-parent," Sirius replied, "Eris is difficult. She doesn't want your pity. She doesn't want any of you to get to know her out of guilt. And I believe she doesn't really think of any of you as her dad, or as a dad for her. That doesn't mean you should stop, but you have to respect her wishes and let her have the relationship with you she wants. Because it's still about them." He didn't know if he'd ever hear back from that Ron, the one from the world where most people his age had died but he didn't. But he'd let him know. That was all he could do.

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crescered
2012-09-24 12:42 am UTC (link)

That all made sense. The few difficult decisions he had to make revolved around where to live - which faction to choose, his home or the one he tested in. There were no wars or terrible blood purists. They lived among muggles. And Amity taught him peace, even if it came at the expense of some freedom. No world was perfect.

He nodded in agreement, at all of it. "I don't pity her, and I only feel guilty for not trying thus far. I don't know if she wants to even know me, as an alternate of her father or just another person, but I want her to know she has the option. I...don't think I could push myself on someone like that, even if I wanted to." Remus' laugh came out in breaths. "Is it like this all the time? Being a parent?"

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doggingdoes
2012-09-24 01:07 am UTC (link)

His years of experience with a younger Eris, much longer time with her mother after whom she took so well, and the time here (with Eris's welcoming of him in her life here) made it easier for Sirius. He saw and understood a bit more of what was going on - when to leave her alone and when not to give her space. And she trusted his motives. Any child was that of two parents, and both parents had greatly influenced her. Knowing now that Remus and Hestia got divorced, that only made it harder for Eris and thus for any Remus wanting to know her.

"Lots of you have gotten to know the Teddy's a lot faster and better than her," Sirius pointed out, "And they're certainly easier to approach in many ways. The not knowing what she wanted encouraged you all to wait, and she's seen that. I don't know if she even knows what she wants from any of you. It's been a hard time for her here. But you can reach out to her, you can let her know you want to get to know her. And, well, we'll see from there."

He laughed a little bit. "No, it's not all like this," he said, "Sometimes it's just the best damn thing in the world. And I wouldn't trade it for anything either." He smiled, "I started changing diapers at nineteen, you know."

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crescered
2012-09-24 01:16 am UTC (link)

"I only figured that no one would want, or need, another person interferring." They had parents and people from their world and several other versions of all of those already. Now, though, he wanted to get out there more. And it was his goal. Especially since Lily was thinking Severus gone, upset over the fact that she hadn't spent much time with him lately. Remus didn't want to feel that way; he didn't want to give himself anything to regret. Not trying would be worse than trying and failing.

"Good," Remus let out a breath and sat back, relaxing in his seat. "What? I mean, I know some James and Lilys had their Harrys at a young age, but - none of us have kids in my world yet and we're already years past that age." He couldn't imagine Sirius, out of all of them, the one changing diapers and worrying about kids.

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doggingdoes
2012-09-24 01:42 am UTC (link)

"That's her call, love," Sirius replied, "She can be fiercely independent, but assuming things about her never goes well. And you've got a lot of catching up to do on getting her easily. Remus, her dad, is one of the best at that. But he's known her since she was born. You'll get back in the game, I promise." He was glad that Remus wanted to know her. He wanted Remus to get to know all of them, all of his family in Sirius's world. That's what they were, one very large very close family.

"Remember, Remus, always, that I am from Baby World," Sirius countered, taking pleasure in Remus's response the same way he had when it shocked someone, "I was married at eighteen and the father of triplets at nineteen. We all get married pretty young in my world, but I do get on that whole family business first. Also became head of my family, helping a grieving mother and Reg, and dealing with dad's death." It was a lot of changes in a very short time. But he'd grown up more as a man than he ever had with growth spurts.

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crescered
2012-09-24 01:54 am UTC (link)

"Thanks." It was for Sirius' encouragement and belief in Remus that he was thanking him for, but it also included giving him advice in the first place. Since they first started talking, Sirius had been easy to open up to. "I think, or at least I hope, she already likes me just a little. I may win her over with guns." It was funny to him, thinking of it that way, but if it worked, and it made her feel better to have something back that she enjoyed, then that was enough.

"Triplets. Wow." One baby, one kid, was a lot of work - but three? At the same time? That sounded almost horrifying. And Sirius didn't even stop there. "That sounds like...a lot." A lot to help shape him into the person he became. Every experience aided in that and every detail was just another piece of the puzzle.

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doggingdoes
2012-09-24 02:06 am UTC (link)

"You're welcome," Sirius replied easily enough. He wanted to help Remus, for many reasons. And it helped Eris too, something else he liked. It wasn't an easy time for any of the girls, he knew. So anything he could do to help them. He was keen on that. "I haven't seen you two interact, so I can't comment there. But guns really? How is that ... so utterly not surprising," his head shook back and forth. That sounded a bit like Hes, seeing Hes in Eris, only he knew Remus had guns and all. Remus had taught him that once, and he'd brought one with him to rescue Sirius in the forest.

Rather than shrugging it off, Sirius nodded, "I grew up pretty fast. I had some of the best people around me to help, and Molly was a godsend. She already knew how to be a mum, and she helped me be a good dad." Even with everything here, it wasn't so hard as that. "Craziest couple years," Sirius agreed, but he was still smiling.

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crescered
2012-09-24 02:15 am UTC (link)

Remus laughed more to himself. "I was surprised by her. Though I can see she might have that wild spirit that Hestia seems to have. I've spoken with her a few times but Eris and I haven't interacted much. I told her I could try setting up a range, if she wanted to do it here." That was something he was good at, something he could share and teach her if she wanted to know more. It was a bonding thing. Plus, shooting was always a good distraction and catharthis.

"That's good, that you had a support system. Molly is really lovely, too." It all sounded crazy to him, even though he had easily accepted everything. "You'd have to really love someone to make it through triplets, I think." Remus grinned, the teasing in his voice very light. He took it seriously, though, because he knew it was completely true and all very much a good thing. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to be around his own family there. Yes, the compound was starting to really grow on him.

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doggingdoes
2012-09-24 02:26 am UTC (link)

It was hard not to smirk, knowing Eris as he did. Really, in some ways, Remus - his Inked Moony - really was in a good place to get to know her. He was a bit harder and edgier, no offense to the others, in ways that gave him some more overlap with Eris. For all the guns had been exciting, Sirius took no particular fancy to them himself. They were weapons meant only as weapons. They could be used for peace, but they always destroyed. But Eris and Remus, yes, he was fine with how they connected on that. "You might want to talk with the scientists," Sirius suggested, "So it can be done safely when we're on compound. There aren't many easy options for that, and we don't need to upset Upsilon with friendly fire." The place wasn't that big, though it could always get bigger.

"I had all of you, and I needed all of you," Sirius nodded, "And I was far too busy to just mope on my own. I had too many people who needed me to fall apart. Oh, from the first moment I held them, all three of them, they had me for life." They did. They still did, no matter their age and how much they had grown since he had seen them back home. "Family does that," Sirius smiled, "You can't give them up." And he had a family here, with some of the same people and with some new. Sirius didn't want to go home, where he'd have to give these people up. Or he'd have to wait for years.

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crescered
2012-09-24 02:34 am UTC (link)

"Yeah, I've been looking into spells that can create something of a force field and I figured I would ask Tau before doing anything. I wouldn't want anyone getting hurt, or in trouble." Muggles were the ones who invented guns and they took their laws on them seriously. There were permits and training classes to ensure safety, especially in law enforcement. So if the scientists could help make it safer and easier, that would be even better.

"That makes sense," Remus nodded with a tiny smile. "I really do want to have a family. I thought it would be impossible. Whenever Lily talked about it, I was realized I was too afraid. Going through as many fear landscapes as I have, I learned to face that fear and overcome it. It still wasn't something I was okay with, though. And there wasn't anyone to start a family with." That was more important. Someone could always persuade him, but first they had to exist.

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doggingdoes
2012-09-24 02:51 am UTC (link)

Anything that kept the bullets and people separated, Sirius thought. There were enough issues at this place without accidental violence. Plus, many of the violence rules here surrounded purposeful violence, which a shooting range wasn't about. It was possible a stray bullet could slip through. "Maybe you can make a class for it or something," Sirius suggested, "It could give them all more data as they like." He wasn't terribly worried about it one way or another. Remus would do it properly.

"You can have a family," Sirius replied, "I'm not sure anyone's going to get knocked up here. They haven't exactly been handing out condoms the last four months, much less before that. And not everyone knows or bothers with protection charms. I'd say it's a miracle, but well, there are scientists around." He'd rambled off topic though. "Anyway, you have alterno-kids here, you've got us, you've got a family," Sirius focused, "It's not the same as making your own, having kids. And I hope you get that back home, with whatever bird or bloke is lucky enough to get you. But here, you're welcome to my family."

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crescered
2012-09-24 02:58 am UTC (link)

"Hmm, that's a good idea." The scientists were more likely to agree with something that helped them, right? It would also require the safety measurements to be in place and everything would be allowed. They could probably all set up things like that. Here, learn this skill or trait from my world every other possible Tuesday night. That could very well be an interesting thing to propose around the compound.

Anti-pregnancy things in the water? He wouldn't be surprised. "Oh, I'm not too interested in starting my own right now," Remus waved it off with a hand. "I love the family I have here so far, even those that aren't my family in any way," he shrugged and laughed. They were all connected in one way or another. But the scientists continued getting under their skin and preventing any ultimate happiness. There was a crisis almost every day.

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doggingdoes
2012-09-24 03:04 am UTC (link)

The family bit, well, Sirius also didn't know if it was always possible. Perhaps only people from the same world could knock each other up at all. Some inter-world pregnancy issue. Maybe cross-world babies broke the universe somehow. That decreased the chances of it a lot. And well, maybe people were being safer, overall, than Sirius gave them credit for. It was a possibility.

"You're part of my family," Sirius replied, "The you back home was there. And you, you, are here. That means you get Molly and the whole gang. And with how much that happens here, well, you can enjoy a family almost as large as I already knew." The last part was half-joke, half-pretty literally true. And he liked thinking of Remus as part of his family. Moony's name was scrawled on his chest, as long as Sirius was here. They were connected.

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crescered
2012-09-24 03:12 am UTC (link)

"Thank you," Remus couldn't help but do it again. It was nice to hear that, and to think of it that way. To be accepted into an entire family, as long as they too accepted him. "You're family back home as well, and you are here too." Yes, he realized they were connected, most of it seeming to have happened without his notice. All of a sudden, there he was in his life.

And their names were on each other's bodies. That reminded him. "Oh, I never did show you your present." Suddenly Remus was grinning with excitement. It had taken awhile to get it all done because of the scientists and whatnot. He hooked a finger around the collar of his shirt, the neck a little loose, and pulled until the tattoo was visible on his chest.

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doggingdoes
2012-09-24 03:22 am UTC (link)

"You're welcome," Sirius replied, meaning it, with a huge smile on his face. Remus sounded happy and a bit more like he believed in himself. Parenting wasn't easy, and Sirius was here for him any time Remus needed him. But it was good to hear him sounding like that. His arm came up, casually wrapping around the back of where they were sitting. It was a good happy way to be.

Then his whole body perked up at the word present. Sirius had no presents come to mind at first recall of his memories. So his eyes glanced toward Remus's pockets, as if expecting some telltale bulge of a present within. But as soon as the shirt started coming loose, Sirius guessed at what it was. Finally. His hand came up, tracing the intials. His grin had become a bit of a smirk, "I look good on your skin," he commented.

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crescered
2012-09-24 03:31 am UTC (link)

"I didn't mean for it to take so long," Remus half-apologized for the delay, his grin immediately coming back as he watched Sirius smirk. His attention was passed between his face and his finger as it traced the letters that weren't too sore, but definitely weren't healed.

"I think it fits nicely." It looked good and belonged there for several reasons. Remus was still as objective as he could be when it came to their situation. But he had to admit that was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore. And it just kept happening.

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doggingdoes
2012-09-24 03:52 am UTC (link)

With that smirk firmly and comfortably in place, Sirius rolled his eyes as if Remus were making excuses. But it didn't matter. His name was there now, and his name would always be there. It brought back memories of climbing that marble hallway naked, using his tunic as an instrument to get up there first. He still had the tunic in his closet. The letters would look even better once they fully healed. "Excuses," Sirius joked, "Making me wait so long for it." His finger lingered a few moments extra, "You wanted me to be done first." His hand lifted off to point to the area on his chest where Moony's name curled up.

"Fits perfectly," Sirius continued staring a bit longer, without even thinking about it. Talking like that just slipped comfortably into place, as easily as on the journals. This, of course, was naturally more private. But that wasn't affecting it. They'd snuggled publicly while watching tv after the flip. Remus was just comfortable to be around.

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crescered
2012-09-24 04:11 am UTC (link)

"That's not true," Remus pouted slightly at the implications. "I wouldn't have minded going first, it just so happened that you were too impatient to wait for yours." Circumstances and all. But he kind of liked the way Sirius put it. "I am honored to finally bear yours in return." His grin was wide enough to show teeth.

"Oh, stop," he chuckled, acknowledging the flirting tone that was present once more, "someone might see and think you're into me or something." Even as he joked, the dreamy expression he wore was almost too natural to seem mocking. Because it was natural. Remus still wasn't thinking about it.

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doggingdoes
2012-09-24 04:25 am UTC (link)

Oh, the pout was not a fair play, Sirius thought. Remus made too many irresistible faces to be allowed to use them. It made the playing field uneven. "I don't wait for things," Sirius replied, "I was going to get it so I got it. Fairly simple, Moonykins." His head gave a little bow, as if bestowing that honor upon Remus. He had to master that minister of magic authority thing. It was far too much fun. "For the rest of your days," Sirius added. Remus was his, and he was Remus's.

"And?" Sirius asked, "Do you want them not to think that?" He was still teasing, still flirting, but he was curious. If Remus really didn't want people to think that, it hurt a little that idea, but Sirius was good at respecting serious wishes. There was something in Remus's voice that made something sound genuine there, but which way Sirius wasn't sure. And he wanted to know.

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crescered
2012-09-24 04:33 am UTC (link)

"Well I'm glad that works for you," Remus was sharp and quick with his words, though they were never meant to be mean. Not unless he was actually mad, which was one of the furthest emotions away from the ones he currently felt. "Yep." His lips mashed together as he reached up to run his own fingers over the fresh letters.

"I don't care what they think," his eyes rolled just slightly. If he truly cared about something like that, he would be a much different person by now. Besides, he didn't think he'd care if anyone thought that about them specifically. Things could be cleared up if necessary.

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doggingdoes
2012-09-24 04:38 am UTC (link)

"It does," Sirius retorted immediately. In his favor or not, it meant he got what he wanted or he didn't. Time wasn't wasted, not when it wasn't doing any good. That's why he was able to look at Oscar without feeling like a knife was sinking into his heart. There was some ache, yes, but that was natural. It was better for Sirius, healthier for him. Remus wasn't like that so much, and Sirius didn't hold it against him. And his smile still stuck around. There was something about watching Remus play with the tattoo...

That was where that badass side of Remus showed again, the one that had taken some getting used to. The way he said it, not just that he meant it. "Besides," Sirius pointed out, "The only people who could walk in unannounced are Molly and Astrid. I doubt they'd mind." His girls, as in his daughters and his wife, were the most supportive of him in this sphere. Sirius appreciated it because he still remembered the feeling of dread in his stomach at coming out to his children and wondering how they'd respond. He hadn't done it, of course, but his kids had aged up to the point he had in their worlds.

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