InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "And mouth and nose"

Eddie Carmichael (upstander) wrote in finnigans_rpg,
@ 2014-09-02 19:27:00

Entry tags:

character: cho chang, journal: eddie

Journal Post-Eddie Carmichael
If there's one good thing about having to recover from a curse, it's that you can get time to catch up on all the WWN dramas you'd missed while you were away in foreign lands. It totally blew my mind the Wilhemina took back Reginald in The Time Turner's Tales. Did she not remember that Reginald shagged her sister while he was supposed to be helping her out of that dreamless sleep coma? Or that he used his turner to go back in time and steal her idea for the Happiness Potion and that it would have made her rich all on her own? Or does she just have no self respect? And how is Leopold even worse than Reginald somehow? He just says something and I want to reach through the wireless and strangle him.

How has everyone been? I think I need to get out of the flat more.

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upstander
2014-09-03 03:38 am UTC (link)

With a WRENCH? Damn it all, I had candlestick. Looks like I just lost AGAIN. At least tell me it was in the Conservatory.

Thankfully one only needs to make that mistake once to never forget it. Sadly Big Water Demon (in this case, one that sends cursed water, fun!) never clicked with me. Or didn't. Won't be forgetting it now!

Are you textually flirting with me? I'm textually intrigued. I think you make that one with a lot of strokes and perhaps a question mark.

Hexing would be too good for him. Were he not fictional I would take him out to the Forbidden Forest, lead him to where there are big spiders and dump honey on his most sensitive bits whilst lashing him to a post. Not that I've thought about it or owled the writers every few months WHO NEEDS TO CEASE AND DESIST ANYWAY??

You're welcome any time, Laila says our flat needs more women about, but I say if it had any more of a lady's touch I'd be buying tampons. For myself. I didn't even know how many kinds they came in and now I know the best brand is Witch's Own which has the worst packaging of all time. Do you really want to dance in a field of flowers during that time of month? Laila seems contented to lay on the sofa with a heating pad and throw things at me if I look at her too much.

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susanamybones
2014-09-03 04:16 am UTC (link)

Okay so I know you're joking and all but uh... It was actually was in the conservatory. With the butler.

Well to be fair you probably didn't need to worry about Big Water Demon before the whole incident, so don't beat yourself up. Let me or Laila do that for you.

Oh I'm sure you'd love to do something with lots of strokes, I'm sure you would. Dirty man.

Carmichael you are a treasure. A TREASURE. I need to hug you because you are PRECIOUS. Or maybe precocious? Both?

Oh Godric she uses Witches Own? I use Extreme Sorceress - it's a brand from Australia with sharks and explosions on them. So much more badass, because yeah I do not want flowers and puppies at that time of the month, I want to curse someone's head off. Aren't you glad you started that line of conversation, now you know what type of tampons I use.

Shall I come visit you tomorrow morning? I'm working all night tonight so I get tomorrow off.

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upstander
2014-09-03 04:22 am UTC (link)

Oh bloody hell! And I was this close!

She's already done a number on me, I couldn't possibly survive two of you beating me down.

What? No. Pure as the driven snow, that's me.

Both. Hug me all you like just watch my left side, I'm still tender.

I don't think I wanted to know that there was a tampon that had a bloody SHARK on the box. Great, now I'm having nightmares. GOOD JOB SUSAN.

When have I ever said 'no' to you? I don't even think I know how to say the word. Yes. I shall be lying in my bed dreaming of you until you arrive.

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susanamybones
2014-09-03 05:30 am UTC (link)

Oh darling, I'll tell you what: next time I find myself in a conservatory sans wand with a dark wizard masquerading as a butler, I will knock him out with a candlestick, just for you alright? Knowing me I should be able to do that for you by the end of the month.

Awww poor baby, do you need me to kiss anything better? Or soothe your wounded ego with platitudes?

Yes, pure as driven snow outside a coal factory. You're in good company though, I don't think anyone's ever called me pure either.

I am actually frowning at my journal here Carmichael. I think I'm freaking Witherspoon out a little bit. Poor thing, never the same since she got turned into a gazelle. But yes, I am frowning. You being hurt makes me frown, did you know that?

I think the point of the advertising is that they're so good that you could go swimming with sharks and they wouldn't be able to tell that you're there. Or something. Sharks are awesome. You're welcome for the nightmares Eddie. YOU ARE WELCOME.

Lying in bed dreaming about me, again? Not the one where you're cursing me for not shutting up again?

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upstander
2014-09-03 05:49 am UTC (link)

I appreciate the gesture, Red. It means quite a lot you'd carry around a candlestick to bludgeon butlers in conservatories from me.

Oh don't get me started. I mean, you leave the door wide open.

My mind is only DUSTY not DIRTY. Come now, don't bring me to your level.

Sorry, sorry. I don't mean to make you frown. Come down and I'll turn the frown upside down.

This is the worst LALLALALAL NOT HEARING IT!

When have I ever told you to shut up? When it didn't have to do with tampons?

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susanamybones
2014-09-03 06:50 am UTC (link)

It’s not like I don’t have enough undetectably extended pockets on my work gear to carry a candlestick around for you dear, besides it might come in handy? Add a rune of fire, a rune of explosion, cast a flame spell and a molecular instability curse and lob it at someone – BOOM. Bye bye bad guys.

I only leave the door wide open for you darling. You, and Ernie, and Justin, and Dean, and Seamus, and Hannah, and Alicia, and… Okay fine. FINE.

Please Carmichael, you started on your belly in the dust, getting your mind in the gutter with me requires going up.

You should write dramas with wit like that you know.

It’s true, you never have told me to shut up. To my face or in earshot anyway. Besides, I’m surprised – a guy like you should know that one of the easiest ways to stem a bloody nose if you’ve run out of potions and you don’t know the spells well enough is to shove a tampon up there.

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upstander
2014-09-03 07:09 am UTC (link)

All your extendable pockets intrigue me. I have no doubt they would put any bad guys to shame.

I'm not even going to respond to that and you know why, lass.

Okay, that one was good.

Funnily enough I've tried, but the folks at Time Turner's Tales just won't return my owls!

Never any time, don't say such nasty things in my presence again!

Needless to say, I'm bleeding to death before I'm sticking one of those up my nose, thank you very much!

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	susanamybones 2014-09-03 09:54 am UTC (link)
	Be careful, smiles. I'll put you and Rose in a pocket for safekeeping if you don't watch out. Yes, because you are very wise. You are a wise Ravenclaw full of wisdom. [a questionable smear of ink appears] Ugh a goblin just exploded on me. I hate night shift. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	upstander 2014-09-03 04:24 pm UTC (link)
	You just want me to keep having a dirty mind, don't you? I won't even dignify that with a response. You should know better. Yes, yes, Rowena showers us with her gifts, your jealousy is showing, Red. Hmm. Exploded what, precisely? (Reply to this) (Parent)

	_rose_ 2014-09-03 08:20 pm UTC (link)
	Oi! I can take care of myself. He's the one that got cursed, not me. I just got landed on by a massive bloke. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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