InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "somebody loves you"

Theodore Nott (nottfinished) wrote in finnigans_rpg,
@ 2015-01-05 21:50:00

Current mood:	tired
Entry tags:	character: ernie macmillan, character: theodore nott, journal: theodore

Journal Entry | Theo #5
Glad that's over

I keep dreaming about frigate birds, I think. Or not frigate birds, great black crows carrying hearts in their beaks, lots of them like they were bunches of some weird fruit

Not good enough to be in any shows, but. Better out than in? ~~I wish I could be bothered enough to be worried but at least they aren't dreams about-~~

Still waking up with headaches though

Private to Ernie
Hey, are you okay? I haven't heard from you lately. ~~Did I do something?~~

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Re: Dean/Theo

artistdean
2015-01-15 04:46 pm UTC (link)

Yeah, the nightmares helps. It gets them out of my head. Sadly it doesn't help stop them especially, but it sort of helped me process them a bit. The painting mostly happened a while ago, soon after all the war stuff when the nightmares were worse. I did paint them pretty directly though. Far less careful than my usual paintings. I finally sold some of them at my most recent show. I felt like I could begin to let them go.

It's okay. It's not like we're doing anything with appointments really. Just some wandering and stuff. Nice change of scenery.

I hope things improve. Dreamwise and feeling better wise.

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Re: Dean/Theo

nottfinished
2015-01-18 09:01 pm UTC (link)

I saw them, they were very intense. I admire your honesty.
Do you think doing so has assisted? I suppose there's something to be said for it, like lancing a blister or cleaning a wound despite the pain it causes at the time. Isn't it difficult? To recall those images and put them onto canvas or paper or whathaveyou? Please tell me if you'd rather not talk about it.

I see, you're with Seamus Finnigan? I hope your time out works for you

Thank you very much

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Re: Dean/Theo

artistdean
2015-01-19 03:01 pm UTC (link)

For me I think, yes it's helped. And yes, it's sort of getting the crap out sort of thing. And honestly? I'm really visual and the dreams stay with me, so stopping them being only inside my head was actually good for me. And considering the amount of time I've spent on this with my therapist it's actually fine to talk about it.

~~Not with, we aren't a couple~~ Yeah, January is basically the only time my best mate can be convinced to leave the damn pub for more than about a day and a half at a time.

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	Dean/Theo nottfinished 2015-01-19 10:21 pm UTC (link)
	But there's no way to get them out and have them stay on the page and out of your head? So to speak. Is it easy to do? You can reassure him that the place is still standing and looking fine. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Dean/Theo

artistdean
2015-01-19 10:53 pm UTC (link)

I- No. I don't think so. It might work better for some than for others, but it wasn't permanent for me. It did help ease them somewhat, and time has helped a little more so long as I stick to my potions and my mindfulness strategies and things.

It was incredibly difficult to start, especially the first time, but once I got going it was really cathartic. Not always easy, but sort of weirdly satisfying. For a long time they were really hard to look at afterwards and they're still... not easy, but I've been able to let some of them go now. Seems like a positive step.

Thanks, he'll appreciate it.

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	Dean/Theo nottfinished 2015-01-19 11:55 pm UTC (link)
	I'm glad it helped. Helps. I'm glad you're coping better anyway. It sounds very difficult. ~~I'm not sure I-~~ You should give yourself credit for having done so. It can't have been easy. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Dean/Theo artistdean 2015-01-20 12:34 am UTC (link)
	Thankfully I am. I have bad days or weeks, but overall I'm doing far better. It can be, but the end product was worth it. At least for me. Even if the whole thing didn't stop the nightmares it did help me understand them somewhat. Process them a bit. Deal with them slightly more easily. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Dean/Theo nottfinished 2015-01-20 03:07 pm UTC (link)
	That's good to hear I'm glad it's given you some peace of mind (Reply to this) (Parent)

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