InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Hello Austria!"

Lavender Brown (en_lavender) wrote in enigma_rpg,
@ 2009-04-06 21:32:00

Entry tags:

* complete, 2004-04, character: lavender brown, character: susan bones

RP: Empty Shell
When: April 6th, 2004
Who: Lavender Brown, Susan Bones
Where: St. Mungo's
Private/Public: Private-ish
Rating: All Ages
Summary: Lavender thinks. Or doesn't think. Mostly not-thinking.

Lavender was half-asleep. Or maybe she was completely awake and just too dead inside to actually focus on anything. If she'd wanted to move, she couldn't. The Healers had cast another spell to immobilise her legs and keep them still as magic worked on healing the shredded in tendons in her knees. On top of that, she was so cut up from hexes and re-opened scars that she was either covered in bandages or her skin was so new and sore that it hurt to stretch it.

Regardless, she'd been panicked when she had awoken, feeling as trapped as she had with that monster looming over her. Lavender wasn't sure whether it was a memory or not, but she'd screamed when the Healer had tried to change the dressings on the Greyback scars. Maybe she'd screamed, maybe she hadn't. Maybe she'd screamed last night. Lavender looked down at her broken nails; she didn't so, struggling to catch her breath for a moment before her body seemed to realise there wasn't an arm wrapped around her throat.

Maybe she could have done more to fight back.

Maybe she should have begged.

They'd brought in Healer Salus to see to her after that and, half-asleep as she was, it was possibly the first time that Lavender had been glad to see her. She'd changed the dressings, sorted out the food that they'd tried to send her - even if Lavender couldn't eat a bite - before giving her a Calming Draught.

Maybe that was why she wasn't quite awake.

Right now she was alone and she didn't like it at all. Except she didn't really want anyone with her now, either. She didn't know what she wanted, except maybe just to sleep and block out the world for a while. She was safe here, even if she didn't completely believe it. A low sigh escaped her and Lavender raised a hand to touch her cheek. She felt the tears on her face, realising finally that she was crying.

Oh.

(Post a new comment)

en_susan
2009-04-07 12:09 am UTC (link)

After hearing about the attack Susan headed to St Mungo's with Richard away, she wanted to make sure for herself that Lavender was going to make a full recovery. That and the other witch had come to see her when she was in hospital. Under the guise of coming for a check up, she found her way to Lavender's room and knocked on the door opening it slightly to see if she was awake.

"Lavender? It's Susan. Mind if I come in?"

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	en_lavender 2009-04-07 06:04 am UTC (link)
	Lavender looked sharply over at the door, shoulders stiffening slightly. Susan. Susan wasn't a threat and Lavender let out a breath before nodding. "Sure," she said quietly. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

en_susan
2009-04-07 11:49 am UTC (link)

Hearing the ok Susan cam in. She had stopped to pick up some magazine and books so that Lavender wouldn't be bored and also she figured some homemade fudge might not be bad, stress and all.

"Hi, I'd joke about you being sick of this place but it's not really funny. I did however bring a care package to make it less awful." She told her lamely as she neared the bed.

"How are you doing considering?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	en_lavender 2009-04-07 11:56 am UTC (link)
	Looking down, Lavender fiddled with the edge of blanket but her fingers felt oddly slow. Maybe it was just her, but nothing seemed to work the way she wanted it to. "I'm tired," she said finally. "I think. I'm not really sure." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

en_susan
2009-04-07 12:28 pm UTC (link)

Nodding, Susan moved closer, she imagined that Lavender felt pretty shell shocked still, but hopefully that would improve with time.

"Tired is normal, you're healing. So is feeling numb." Susan assured her. "I brought some things to take your mind of things if you'd like to see them."

Pulling out some of the books and magazines she laid them on the table near the bed.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

en_lavender
2009-04-07 02:22 pm UTC (link)

Lavender watched almost warily as Susan set the books and magazines down. "Thank you."

She pushed her hair from her face, wiping her cheek with the back of her hand. Her skin felt damp from tears, or maybe she was just imagining it. Was it possible to actually feel pale rather than just look it? Massive blood loss, Healer Salus had told her. She'd been on blood replenishment potions for a couple of days at least.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	en_susan 2009-04-07 04:52 pm UTC (link)
	"I brought chocolate too but I guess it will be a while before you want any of that." Susan felt like she was babbling but Lavender really didn't look well at all. "How long are they going to keep you here?" Why was it that all of them seemed to have to spend extensive time in this place?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	en_lavender 2009-04-07 05:05 pm UTC (link)
	"I'm not really so hungry," Lavender agreed. She rested her head back against the pillows that were stacked behind her, sighing softly. "I don't know. Not sure." Biting her lip, she knew that she was terrible company right now but didn't really know how to change that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	en_susan 2009-04-07 05:34 pm UTC (link)
	Nodding, Susan shifted nervously, with Lavender being ill she felt even more helpless than she had when she was in that bed. "Is there anything I can do?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	en_lavender 2009-04-07 05:53 pm UTC (link)
	Lavender looked over at Susan but found she could only make eye contact for a moment. Any longer and she saw his eyes. Her chest hitched but she managed to let the breath out slowly. Nothing to panic about. "I'm not sure." She closed her eyes. "I'm not really thinking too clearly right now." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	en_susan 2009-04-07 06:02 pm UTC (link)
	Lavender was clearly in pain and Susan wished she could take it away from her. "It's ok really, I kind of understand. I've never been what you have. Not thinking is probably best. But if you need anything, please just ask." She sighed. "I wish they could just take those memories from you, so you could heal in peace." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

en_lavender
2009-04-07 06:21 pm UTC (link)

"Sure."

Lavender bit her lip, her brow furrowing. "I don't know if I'd want to lose the memories," she said quietly. It was terribly morbid and she knew it. "I don't know what I want." This was the sort of thing you were meant to overcome, wasn't it? To grow and build on. Problem was, the foundations hadn't been very strong to start with.

"I see a lot of Dreamless Sleep potion in my future."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	en_susan 2009-04-07 06:30 pm UTC (link)
	Susan wasn't sure how to respond, while she thought it was good that Lavender wanted to retain her memories for reasons she could only guess were to become stronger from the attack. It was the getting there that might kill her. "Yeah, I guess so at least for a while. Personally I think we all need therapy after the month we've been through" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	en_lavender 2009-04-07 06:45 pm UTC (link)
	Lavender raised her eyebrows. "For me it started with Oliver and Alicia." It was longer than a month and this whole year just seemed to keep getting worse. She licked her dry lips, turning a little to reach for the glass of water beside her bed. "I already needed therapy," she said quietly. "Nothing new there." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	en_susan 2009-04-07 07:05 pm UTC (link)
	It was good having Lavender talk, granted Susan knew she wasn't going to be the one the witch would confide in but seeing her just say something was good. "Do you want to go into therapy? Or is there someone who would treat you?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

en_lavender
2009-04-08 07:04 am UTC (link)

Lavender sipped the water, so muddled by everything that she wasn't even sure if she was thirsty or not. Talking was tiring, though.

"I was think... I was thinking of booking into the Avalon Clinic." Perhaps she needed that now more than ever. After her last stay, however, she'd hoped she wouldn't have to go back.

She lifted her eyes to look at Susan. "How much did they tell you about what happened?" she asked warily. She had no idea how much people knew.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

en_susan
2009-04-08 12:01 pm UTC (link)

The Avalon Clinic? That was serious stuff there, but Susan did want her to have the best care possible. "Do you think it would help? You'd be pretty far away." As much as she wasn't sure exactly what was going between all of them Susan didn't wish her ill.

Lavender's question caught her by surprise but she responded.

"I saw the Dark Mark outside and Aurors came to the door looking for Richard, but I told them he was away on business. I didn't know how badly you were hurt though."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

en_lavender
2009-04-08 12:12 pm UTC (link)

Lavender carefully set the glass of water back down. "It helped me last time I went there. I know I haven't been... right lately." She'd spent the better part of two months there a few years back trying to overcome her addictions and, as much as she had hated being there and having to confront her problems, Lavender couldn't deny that it had helped.

She rubbed idly at the spot on her cheek where she had grazed it against the bricks. "Death Eater," she finally said, nodding. She remembered seeing the Dark Mark in the air above her. Fucking sparkly green skull. "He... I was..." Lavender closed her eyes, frowning and trying to get rid of the image of the Dark Mark in her mind. Now the words wouldn't come. Maybe she didn't want them to. "I'm sorry. I can't."

(Reply to this) (Parent)

en_susan
2009-04-08 12:52 pm UTC (link)

If it helped before, Susan could see the appeal of going back and getting straight, she knew she was lucky that her obsessions hadn't led her to drinking too much or any other foibles out there, slipping up was just to easy under stress. As it was the flat had been scrubbed by hand because she was so anxious.

As Lavender started talking about what happened, Susan listed fixated seeing how it was affecting her. She reached for her flat mate's hand hoping she wouldn't scare her.

"No, it's ok. It's probably better if you don't for a while. You've been through a lot."

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	en_lavender 2009-04-08 01:05 pm UTC (link)
	Lavender flinched at the touched, then hated that she did that. She looked down, avoiding Susan's gaze. She managed a small nod. "Yeah." She fiddled with her hair. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I'm feeling kind of tired now." Keeping her concentration on a conversation was surprisingly exhausting. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

en_susan
2009-04-08 01:37 pm UTC (link)

Susan noticed the flinch and gave Lavender's hand a quick squeeze before letting her go. She didn't want to make her more uncomfortable. Pulling out the chocolate fudge from her bag she laid it on top of the books. "For when you're ready." She explained moving away from the bed.

"Of course you are. Rest up." Susan told her with a weak smile. "Don't hesitate to owl if you need something." As she headed to the door. "Take care, Lavender."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	en_lavender 2009-04-08 01:49 pm UTC (link)
	Lavender nodded slowly, trying to rest back against the pillows properly. "Thank you, Susan," she said softly. Maybe she could try sleeping for a bit. (Reply to this) (Parent)