InsaneJournal

“Have you heard about the vampires yet?”

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“The last time I saw you was at my birthday party. Was that three, four weeks ago now…? Something like that.” Apart from the moonlight sneaking in through the corners of Ani’s blinds, her studio apartment was shrouded in darkness. She was curled up on her side, facing the nearby couch where she could still sort of see the shadowed form of Maysilee Donner lying. The walls of Pickman House were thin, just as the ones of the train were, and their hushed conversation was reminding her strongly of Maysilee’s victory tour. “Achilles is here, too,” she said, mentioning the immensely popular District One Victor who’d outlined her body with thirty expertly thrown knives at her party, “He doesn’t know me, though. Not me-me, anyway. He knows and ‘doesn’t hate’ Haymitch’s Me. You’re the first person here who knows me-me.”

She was still feeling giddy about Maysilee’s unexpected arrival. Of all the people who could have shown up from her home universe, Maysilee was the only one she would have actually been happy to see. As much as she wanted to let Maysilee sleep, she was having a very hard time not talking. There was just so much to say.

“I think that’s about right,” Maysilee said. It was the first time in a while she actually felt comfortable in a spot. Of course it helped to have a throw blanket and Ani’s home and presence was warm and somewhat familiar that she did feel like she could relax. “Right, Haymitch mentioned Achilles is here.”

And there it was again, the whole multiple universe thing that Maysilee had such a difficult time wrapping her mind around it. At the end of the day, she really just had to go with it, and she guessed, considering Haymitch, it made sense even if that sense was ridiculous. “That must be strange, it’s strange for me.” There was at least some comfort in knowing Ani was the same Ani that she knew, otherwise, she would have likely felt more alone.

“How long have you been here exactly? And what’s the deal? Free housing? No one does anything for anyone, not for free.” It sounded a lot harsher than she meant it but in her experience it was true. Sure, Maysilee made sure she could trade with the people of the Seam back home and might’ve snuck some candy to younger kids, but it wasn’t like it was something she could keep up with as a daily routine. She couldn’t house or feed anyone, no one had the means to do that and if they did, they weren’t offering.

“Somewhere around four weeks.” Right? She thought so. It hadn’t been easy to keep track, as much of a whirlwind as her experience in Dunwich had been so far. She rolled onto her back and stared up at the heavily shadowed ceiling. “We’re not in Panem anymore, Mays,” she said as if that should say it all, “This place is free because Mobius manages it and he’s got a heart of solid gold. Mobius is from elsewhere, too, so he gets it. Everyone here gets it and we’re all just doing what we can.” Ani turned back onto her side again and adjusted her pillow just before being struck by a realization - had she ever gone this long with a new arrival without mentioning the vampires? ”Maysilee,” she hissed, “Have you heard about the vampires yet?”

Four weeks. Maysilee couldn’t imagine being here for four weeks. It was an emotional back and forth that she still had a hard time grasping. On the one hand, Maysilee was no longer under the Capitol’s thumb. She didn’t have to worry about the games, no longer having to mentor children that would likely die in the arena. As Ani said, they weren’t in Panem anymore, and apparently, they had good people living here who actually wanted to do good things.

“It’s very kind of him,” she said. “I’ll have to find a way to thank him, feels wrong not to thank him.” If her place looked anything like Ani’s, it wasn’t so bad. The Victor’s housing was larger, but she honestly never needed that much space. For many years it had just been her and her sister. Her parents only moved out of their hold home above the sweetshop to live with Maysilee after Malitta got married.

She turned back to Ani and frowned at the word. “Vampires? No, what are vampires?”

The flicker of surprise on Ani’s face was masked by darkness. She knew many pop culture references were completely unknown outside of the Capitol but thought that vampires might have caught Maysilee’s notice at some point in the past eight years. Sure, Maysilee’s dear friend herself had been in a HUGE vampire movie only three years ago, but she couldn’t bring herself to be offended that Maysilee hadn’t seen it. Just surprised, okay?

“Vampires are undead people who suck the blood out of people’s bodies for sustenance,” Ani explained, “They only come out at night because the sun hurts them and if they see you, they’ll try to kill you. So, look out for that. There are also massive lobster monsters. You’ll get to eat some on Saturday.”

Maysilee made a face, something sounded familiar in what she said, but it honestly sounded like a mutt, a mutation the Capitol devised up. “That’s good to know.” Lobster monsters, and she’d get to eat some on Saturday. This really was starting to sound more and more like a hallucination or an awful dream, maybe even both. It made her tired, going back and forth in trying to decide how much of this she wanted to accept.

“What about home?” Maysilee asked. “Won’t they notice us missing? The Capitol’s going to be furious, they could go after Malitta.” It was something she didn’t want to think about, but how could she not? Even if she didn’t have a choice in being brought here, the Capitol wouldn’t care, they only need an excuse to cause her family harm and punish her. The very idea made Maysilee shake nervously.

Even though she couldn’t see it, Ani gave her head a hard shake. “They won’t. I know that because I was technically misted away after you were, chronologically speaking, and I saw you. You were at my birthday party.” She rolled back onto her side and propped her chin up with her hand. “It’s going to be okay, Maysi. It’s a mindfuck but it’s better than the fucking Panem was giving us. There might be a big ass weird ghost barrier around the town but we’re still a thousand times freer here than we’ve ever been at home.”

Maysilee took in a few deep breaths. Okay, so they wouldn’t know they were missing, at least that means the Capitol couldn’t take it out on her family. Ani was right, surely anything would have to be better than being back at Panem, right?

She really hoped so.

Her body was feeling less tense, Ani had that effect on her, once the two became closer. There was still an edginess to her, not quite tense but still alert. She hoped this feeling didn’t last long. She wanted to believe this was all real and that they were finally free, but most importantly safe. Then again, the people that she left back home, they didn’t have that luxury. She stopped herself from groaning, that guilt was definitely going to eat at her for a while. “I guess-” She paused to think. “Is there anything else I need to know about?”

Ani flopped back down onto the bed. There was something else Maysilee needed to know about but it was something Ani herself didn’t quite have her head around yet. She reasoned it was a weird enough subject that it justified taking some time to think of how to approach it and absolved herself of guilt. “That’s aaall the important stuff, the rest is on-the-job training.”

There was a pause. “I thought you were doomed, you know? I thought I’d watch them torture you forever. I can’t wait to see what you do with your life now that you have a say in it.” Never mind that no one had any say in coming here, never mind that they couldn’t leave the town. This little town offered more say, more opportunity, and more hope than could be found in all of Panem.

Maysilee chuckled softly. “Learn as I go, got it.” Well, she did like to think she was adaptable, here might be a little more difficult, but at least Haymitch and Ani were here to help guide her. It was still insane to think about, there was that small voice that told her maybe she was just insane, but maybe, eventually, that voice will start to fade with time.

“I have no idea what that even looks like,” she said. “I wouldn’t even know where to start.” The guilt was bad enough, she had possibilities now. Limited, but there was still some there, more than what Malitta and her parents would be getting back home. “How do you cope?” Maysilee asked her, with a yawn. “How do I not feel guilty that I get this chance but others don’t?”

How does she not feel guilty to be in a better situation than others? If she wasn’t mid-yawn herself now thanks to Maysilee, she might have had to try not to laugh. That was something Ani grappled with long, long before Dunwich. “You just…think about how if they were here, they’d be wanting it for you, too,” she said after a few moments of careful thought, “Try to get everything out of it that you know they would’ve wanted for you.”

But that wasn’t the truth of how Ani coped. Ani coped via avoidance. She ran. She was a master of redirecting her thoughts away from things she had no control over that made her feel guilty - she’d been doing it all her life, but she knew that wasn’t Maysilee.

Maysilee nodded and kept silent for a moment. Mostly due to how exhausted she was, as hard as sleep was for her, she could feel it pulling her down. She also wanted to take a moment to consider what Ani had said. It was true, if Malitta had been here instead of her, she’d likely feel the same and would hope that they would find each other again, in a more peaceful place.

So that’s all she could do, deal and maybe have a little bit of hope that they might find themselves here one day. She wasn’t used to it, holding on to hope, but maybe she could afford a little bit of it right now. “Thanks, Ani,” Maysilee said sleepily. “I’m really glad you’re here.”