InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Oh, that's why"

Sebastian | Oliver (trickarrow) wrote in doors,
@ 2013-08-11 08:23:00

Entry tags:

batman, bigby wolf, green arrow

[Public]
Well, that didn't go as expected.

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	Re: luke h/sebastian v onerule 2013-08-12 07:33 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah, I know. And I don't mind at all. I could use the practice myself, you know, to keep in shape. You're never going to find out if you don't talk to her. [...] Not that I'm trying to push. Just, I don't know, it's something to think about. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: luke h/sebastian v trickarrow 2013-08-12 07:36 pm UTC (link)
	You have a time that works well for you? I'm good most week nights. [...] Maybe. Or maybe the lack of hearing from her means it's really over. I don't know. Can I tell you something that might seem really callous? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: luke h/sebastian v onerule 2013-08-12 07:43 pm UTC (link)
	Around eight or nine works for me. I try to be home for dinner whenever I can. [...] Do you think it'd be harder not knowing, like this, or knowing for sure? Okay. Shoot. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: luke h/sebastian v trickarrow 2013-08-12 07:47 pm UTC (link)
	What about Wednesday at 8? At least in not knowing, there's hope. [...] I feel like I gave up my family for nothing. It wasn't worth it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: luke h/sebastian v onerule 2013-08-13 01:10 am UTC (link)
	Woks for me. [...] Yeah. That's true. Wait a little longer, maybe, see if she reaches out. [Cursor blink.] That's not callous. It makes sense for you to feel that way. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: luke h/sebastian v trickarrow 2013-08-13 10:37 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, maybe. [...] Not like I can do anything about it now, though. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: luke h/sebastian v onerule 2013-08-13 11:47 am UTC (link)
	[...] Would you try to go back? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: luke h/sebastian v trickarrow 2013-08-13 11:51 am UTC (link)
	Some days, yeah. It'd be nice to feel like I have purpose again. I feel lost right now. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. Everything that I had planned is gone. I'm just - just existing. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: luke h/sebastian v onerule 2013-08-13 11:53 am UTC (link)
	[Lengthy cursor blink.] I know exactly how you feel. It took me a while ~~and a lot of mistakes~~ to find purpose again, but I did, and you will too. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: luke h/sebastian v trickarrow 2013-08-13 11:54 am UTC (link)
	How did you do it? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: luke h/sebastian v onerule 2013-08-13 11:57 am UTC (link)
	[...] I learned to let go. I was angry, and I was bitter, and I wallowed. I let myself get really, really low. But once I stopped dwelling on things I couldn't change and what I didn't have, it got easier, I guess. Just-- find something you like to do. Set goals. Don't let yourself stay still, you know? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: luke h/sebastian v

trickarrow
2013-08-13 12:01 pm UTC (link)

Everything I liked doing was tied up with either Nell or my family in one way or another. Maybe I'm just being stubborn, and that's quite likely, but - I don't know.

Right now, the only thing that feels good is the fights. Even when I get my ass kicked, it's still good because I can feel something. All that anger comes out and I can let it go, but it comes back afterwards. Plagues me.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: luke h/sebastian v onerule 2013-08-13 09:28 pm UTC (link)
	No, you're not being stubborn. It's hard to start over. But you can still live your life, even without your family, and even without Nell, though I wouldn't write that off yet. [...] Anger at what, exactly? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: luke h/sebastian v trickarrow 2013-08-14 10:50 am UTC (link)
	I don't know if I can do that in this city, though. I'm trying, but it's hard. Harder than I would have imagined. And the guy through the door... He's needed. So. I stay. Not for him, but. It's not as though I have any place else to go, y'know? Everything. Everything that's happened. What I did to Nell. Everything. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: luke h/sebastian v onerule 2013-08-14 10:07 pm UTC (link)
	I know how that is. I mean, I'd never stay for my guy either, but it's tough when they're bigshots through the door. [...] Yeah. Sometimes I think about taking Wren and Gus and leaving, but I don't know where we'd go. Maybe someday. [...] That anger'll burn itself out eventually. But if you've found a way to get it out, even temporarily, stick with it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: luke h/sebastian v trickarrow 2013-08-15 01:41 pm UTC (link)
	Someday. Someday seems to mean never a lot of the times, doesn't it? Let's just hope this way doesn't put me in the hospital first. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: luke h/sebastian v onerule 2013-08-15 02:08 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah, but sometimes it really does mean someday. It's hit and miss. Don't worry. I'll teach you how to keep yourself out of the hospital. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: luke h/sebastian v trickarrow 2013-08-15 02:14 pm UTC (link)
	True enough. In advance, thank you. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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