InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Have my babies"

Akuba Maeko (giantfruitbyday) wrote in disappear_rpg,
@ 2010-01-30 04:44:00

Entry tags:

kanaye, maeko

Who: Maeko, Kanaye
What: Talking.
Where: The garden.
When: Post-dungeon, before beach.
Why: Because it's a safe place.

After her outburst in the dungeon, Maeko had been almost completely silent. Her ability to speak had left her the second Keiichi's shadow had fallen. As had, after struggling through an evening shift and back home and up the stairs on sheer adrenaline, her ability to stand.

Without the energy to even unroll her futon, she'd just slept with her head rested on the stupid cat doll.

The energy hadn't yet returned but Maeko was no stranger to forcing herself to stand and moving on sheer stubbornness. She picked up her phone at what felt like a horrible horrible early hour but was actually 8 and how had she slept for nine hours without not feeling not-tired and her neck hurt, she should have just unrolled the stupid futon.

And she sent a typo-ridden 'I'm headed for the garden. I'll meet you there if you show up'. And began stumbling down the stairs.

She didn't live far from noodle alley so she made it there quickly enough. The hands had attempted to but another blanket on her (why did they keep thinking she needed blankets? it was august) as she shuffled through the butterfly room into the garden.

She made it to somewhere in the centre before she let herself sit, in what was less sitting more her legs giving out and toppling to the ground.

And then she waited in silence. Sat on the ground, the various flowers were above her head. It was difficult to tell she was even there.

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giantfruitbyday
2010-01-30 06:17 am UTC (link)

Maeko squeezed Kanaye's hand for a second, shaking her head. "That just sounds like a bother. I shouldn't need to force others to go to effort just to understand me. That's...it defies everything I've ever..."

She sighed. "I'll learn eventually. I learnt to be polite enough that it wouldn't matter most of the time. Or quiet. But the second I try to say anything that matters that happens and it just comes out as 'stupid'."

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zealousemperor
2010-01-30 06:20 am UTC (link)

"It's not a bother, Maeko-chan." Kanaye said softly, "I want to understand you. I want to be able to talk to you in the first language you knew. I want to be able to hold a conversation with you without having you be nervous or thinking you're stupid. Because you're not. At all."

Kanaye let go of her hands and moved closer to Maeko, hugging her softly. "No one's looking down on you, Maeko-chan. I'm here for you, ok? You don't need to worry."

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giantfruitbyday
2010-01-30 06:40 am UTC (link)

"I don't want someone else to have to learn something special to understand what I say. I should be able to do this myself. I have a voice, it's ungrateful to waste it like this."

Maeko's speech, slow and about on the same level of volume as mumbling, became a little more confident when she got her hands back. But at the same time something left her voice. Emotion that should be there was not, as if she were reading from a script.

And in a way, she was. Repeating the things that she said in a language that didn't really carry emotion in one that really should.

She didn't pull away from the hug. She was at least telling herself that she was too tired (and it wasn't like she had any right to be tired. She hadn't fought at all).

"Thank you. It doesn't matter all that much, though. Not when there's-" And she stopped signing, as if doing so were stopping her from saying something, motionning around the room and moving her hands away and out of her sight.

"-This. This whole place. It's..."

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zealousemperor
2010-01-30 06:44 am UTC (link)

"And I have hands. It's ungrateful for me not to use them to talk to people I want to talk to, right, Maeko-chan?" Kanaye smiled. "Besides. I want to do it. It seems interesting, and I might have use for it, even if..." Kanaye shook his head. "Nevermind."

"Not when there's...what, Maeko-chan? This whole place is...what?" Kanaye asked, confused and worried. "Is something wrong? We can leave, if you want."

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giantfruitbyday
2010-01-30 07:08 am UTC (link)

The 'even if'? Maeko decided it didn't need thinking about.

And she was silent for a while. And then suddenly, words. All at the some time, tripping over each other.

"It's fine here. I like it here. It's-" She motionned again, this time being a little more clear about where she was pointing - to the stairwell that led up into the cold. "I shouldn't care about some stupid language at all. I've been frozen until my skin broke and set on fire about a fuckbillion times and tried to tear off my hands and I've seen a dead body and I've seen people die and I've seen you die and I've seen something with my face come far too close to killing you all and I've seen my own severed head used as a mop and. And. There's some stupid flying jerks out there who want us all dead. And. And. And. And we almost died against something that wasn't even a person. For practice. When we weren't the only thing standing between someone and their death. And no stupid language or Misa-chan or grades or work or anything should matter more than any of that but they do because that's the only way I can keep myself from thinking about what'll happen if one of us dies for real."

She'd said more than she was used to and it took a few seconds to recover. She'd begun to return the hug mid-wall of text and as her voice got quieter and choked toward the end her grip became tighter. She continued, a little more calmly, once she was no longer out of breath.

"And every time someone gets hit. I wonder what if the witch can't fix it? What if it's for good? What if that dumb bug was lying? This whole thing is stupid..."

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zealousemperor
2010-01-30 07:14 am UTC (link)

Kanaye just listened to Maeko's rant. He was really quite happy that she was talking so much, honestly. He always enjoyed it when people talked to him about their problems. It made his look less serious, in comparison. After all, it's not like his issues match up to hers. "...I know. I'm scared too, Maeko-chan. None of us should have to do anything like this. We're kids. We're teenagers. We should be having fun and worrying about college. Not nearly dying and worrying about people's lives. It's...not fair." Kanaye squeezed tighter in response to Maeko squeezing tighter. "But this I'll promise you, Maeko-chan. I will not let anyone die. No one will die. That is a fact. And I'm here for you, Maeko-chan. I'm here..."

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	giantfruitbyday 2010-01-30 07:25 am UTC (link)
	Maeko had run out of words again. She continued clinging for however long she was clinging for. After whatever amout of time (she considered checkign her watch but that would mean letting go) she finally spoke and it was only to clarify one thing. "...Not you either, okay? You don't get to die either." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	zealousemperor 2010-01-30 07:30 am UTC (link)
	Kanaye smiled. "Of course, Maeko-chan. If I died, I would have to leave you. And I don't want to do that." Kanaye felt he was putting it on a little thick, but this was a good chance. "And I don't want to hurt you, either. So I'm staying. Definitely." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	giantfruitbyday 2010-01-30 07:44 am UTC (link)
	"Good. You're not allowed to now." He was laying it on a little thick. Maeko was too busy being glad nobody was dying to care all that much. Her grip slowly loosened until she was just leaning on Kanaye rather than clinging to him. "What are we going to do...?" She mumbled quietly. "What if nothing ever changes? Do we just keep fighting forever?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	zealousemperor 2010-01-30 07:58 am UTC (link)
	"...I don't want to, but..." Kanaye shook his head. "We might have to. But We won't. Because we will end this. You. Me. The rest of the team. Together, we will stop this. No one will die. This, I promise, Maeko-chan." Kanaye squeezed her reassuringly. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	giantfruitbyday 2010-01-30 08:44 am UTC (link)
	'We might but we won't.' That was no help at all. It shouldn't have been reassuring at all. But it was. Just finally having managed to get words out in a semi-coherent way was comforting. And being able to tell someone things without feeling weak. "You think everyone else feels like this, too? Nobody else seems afraid of all this but..." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	zealousemperor 2010-01-30 08:51 am UTC (link)
	"I'm sure all of us do. Well, all of us except for, like, Reizo and Tom. But they don't count. They're crazy. We're all as scared as you, Maeko-chan. Don't worry about it." Kanaye gave one last squeezed and let go. "Anything else? Or do you just want to stay awhile?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

giantfruitbyday
2010-01-30 09:03 am UTC (link)

Maeko nodded. "Everyone else always seems so brave...I guess if we all freaked out over this we've never get anyone saved, huh."

"I want to stay. It's nice here. But..." She sighed, standing with newfound strength and dusting herself off before offering a hand and a smile that, while not genuine, she at least had the energy to fake. "I should probably actually get my packing done sometime. We're getting a break from all this stuff and I'm wasting time whining instead of looking forward to it."

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	zealousemperor 2010-01-30 06:59 pm UTC (link)
	Kanaye nodded. "Everyone's scared. You're all just too brave to let that stop you. Me..." He shook his head. Accepting the hand, Kanaye stood up. "Exactly! You could always whine to me, Maeko-chan, but if you don't want to...Well, I'm looking forward to the beach trip, just the same as you!" He offered an arm. "Shall I walk you to your door?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	giantfruitbyday 2010-01-30 08:20 pm UTC (link)
	"You...what?" Maeko paused for clarification. She took Kanaye's arm, at least for while they were here and nobody could see. "I shouldn't be whining, we're all in the same boat right now." She shook her head. "I have to go into town first to pick some stuff up." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	zealousemperor 2010-01-30 08:26 pm UTC (link)
	"Nevermind, Maeko-chan. Nevermind." Kanaye shook his head again. "So? You don't think any of them are whining to themselves, or to their friends? We're humans, Maeko-chan. Teenagers. We shouldn't have to deal with this stuff..." Kanaye smiled. "Well, can I come along, then? I've got nothing to do all day, so..." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

giantfruitbyday
2010-01-30 08:35 pm UTC (link)

"You sure?" Maeko asked but decided to stop prying and instead used the time to take one more look back at the garden. It was the only place she'd ever been that felt safe. But that was exactly why she shouldnt stay here too long. She'd get weak.

"We might not be humans anymore..." She mumbled, squeezing Kanaye's arm for a second. Her smile returned almost instantly. "If you want, I guess. It's just grocery shopping and picking up some stuff I forgot about until last minute."

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	zealousemperor 2010-01-30 08:40 pm UTC (link)
	Kanaye was confused. "Why wouldn't we be humans? It's not like that place is changing us. At least, not so far, at least. I haven't noticed anything. Is something wrong, Maeko-chan?" He asked, confused. "Yay! Let's go, Maeko-chan!" Kanaye started to walk, slowly, towards the door leading to the butterfly room. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	giantfruitbyday 2010-01-30 08:54 pm UTC (link)
	Maeko just shook her head. "It's probably nothing. I was just worried that those things might be having an effect on us." She nodded and started to walk, not hurrying Kanaye's pace at all. It was nice here, after all. She couldn't stay but taking her time leaving was always an option. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	zealousemperor 2010-01-30 08:58 pm UTC (link)
	"Why would they?" Kanaye asked, confused. "We're fine, aren't we? If you're worried, we could ask someone else..." As they finally got to the butterfly room, Kanaye waved at the hands again (Kou/Masami? Ugh...) and was about to leave until he noticed Maeko was still on his arm. He let go, rather hesitantly. "Uh, sorry, Maeko-chan. Shall we go?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	giantfruitbyday 2010-01-30 09:08 pm UTC (link)
	"You're probably right. I'm sure we're fine." Maeko said, shaking her head and apparently shaking the concern off. Letting go was probably for the best. And as she did and passed through the door she once again found herself immersed in the stupid, not-safe world. "Are you all ready for the trip, then?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	zealousemperor 2010-01-30 09:13 pm UTC (link)
	"Oh, certainly." Kanaye looked around. "I've been ready for a while, now. It'll be great. There will be beaches, and fireworks, and..." Kanaye smiled. "Well, I'm done for it." "Hey, speaking of which..." Kanaye looked at Maeko oddly. "Your parents are letting you go? I'm kind of shocked, really." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

giantfruitbyday
2010-01-30 09:33 pm UTC (link)

"Ah. I left everything until last minute in case-" She cut off suddenly. 'in case I needed to do last-minute bloodstain laundry' had a 95% chance of making the conversation really awkward. "-well, it certainly sounds fun."

"Why wouldn't they? They let me move out before." She shrugged. "The overprotective thing stoped mattering when I learned to talk. Since then... I said it was club activities anyway."

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zealousemperor
2010-01-30 09:37 pm UTC (link)

Kanaye blinked but shrugged. "Well, I certainly hope so! I want everyone to have a good time." He laughed. "It'd defeat the purpose if no one had fun, after all."

"Fair point. Saying "I'm going over to an ex-boyfriend's house for a week or so" can't exactly work out, right?" He chuckled. "Well, I'm glad everyone can come. I really wouldn't want Kiriko-san or Shirai-san to come, but..." He shrugged. "I want to include everyone."

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giantfruitbyday
2010-01-30 09:43 pm UTC (link)

"I'm sure everyone will. It's the beach, right? So I'm sure people'll like being there."

"Yeah, that probably wouldn't go so well. Especially since I never actually told them I had a boyfriend in the first place." She shrugged. "It's important that we stick together as a group just in case someone...I don't think it'll happen but. Besides! Ikeda-san is Kondo-san's friend, right? She'd probably be upset if she weren't included."