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kondo kozue | 近藤 梢 ([info]anthesphoria) wrote in [info]disappear_rpg,
@ 2010-06-14 23:26:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:keiichi, kozue

WHO: Kozue and Keiichi
WHAT: Present! A Present!
WHERE: Chagall Cafe.
WHEN: After Seiko's Dungeon.
WHY: Kozue cannot resist her compulsion to buy the world.


Kozue had been medicating her doubts and worries in much the same way she had done after other stints in Paradise—aside from her own—shopping and ice cream and cake. Of course, she had covered two out of three of those things in her own place in Paradise. So she was out for coffee and cake; she was also being productive.

At the used bookstore, when she'd meant to buy a Feel Better gift for Renju, or an I Regret That Your Head God Is On Vacation present (they didn't make cards for that), she had ended up buying... More things. For other people. At least, in a used book store, she hadn't found anything for herself, which had probably saved her some money in the end.

She'd texted Keiichi to let him know she had something to give him—and she'd gotten a piece of peach pie while she waited. With a side of ice cream. If Ito showed up in time, he could have some.



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[info]anthesphoria
2010-06-23 10:27 pm UTC (link)
It took her a moment, even, to grasp what he was talking about. That other thing I run? But then it came to her. "Yeah, well, it's the cooking club. I mean… As far as that goes, did you ever think maybe that doesn't have anything to do with you and everything to do with cooking club?" Some things could not be made glamorous, even by having Aoi Misaki as a member. That was Kozue's ultimate proof that it was just an intractable subject matter, as she thought about it.

She shook her head a little, and curls bounced behind her. "Do you still want to lead things?" The next part came to mind easily—then why don't you just do it? But she bit her tongue (at least, metaphorically speaking). Somebody could not have said, could not still say to her, why don't you just make your own choices and not worry about the future, and she would more than likely have resented them forever for it. It was also, she reflected, ironic of Kiriko to notice Keiichi's desire to lead. But that, she did not say, out of loyalty.

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[info]keiito
2010-06-23 10:38 pm UTC (link)
He frowned. "What's wrong with cooking," he asked, a little hurt. Really, that was understandable; cooking was the source of a good deal of his non-Paradise related self worth.

It was also the primary reason, other than their friendship, that she was giving him the time of day to begin with. Somehow, though, understanding that made it easier to accept.

"We at least have Sonozaki-san back, and Yamada-san joined too. Aoi-san has been less active recently, but that's not a topic I think either of us wants to discuss." Understatement, that bit.

Watching her curls bounce was disarming. He wondered if she knew the effect she had on people. He was fairly certain that she did, but every now and then he had a moment of doubt.

That was probably why he'd always heard her name in classroom gossip, and been the recipient of absolutely withering stares from most men in the school, as well as some interesting questions he'd declined to answer.

At her inquiry, he paused for a moment. "Yes," he said, unashamedly. "I do. In there, at least, I'm reasonably capable in battle and willing to face whatever comes. I care about Paradise as much as anyone. Possibly too much."

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[info]anthesphoria
2010-06-23 11:03 pm UTC (link)
"Nothing's wrong with cooking," she insisted, shaking her head (which only made the curls bounce more, back and forth). "Just the cooking club. You see the difference?" She, of course, was not one to illustrate it. "You're still sour with Aoi-san?" It wasn't hard to tell, given the formal address, that Kozue wasn't on great terms with the pink-haired girl. She kept walking, swaying slightly in balance, back and forth—and, why yes, Kondo Kozue was aware of how she looked. And of how people noticed it.

How could she not have been? Her looks, for better or for worse, had always been her defining characteristic. American or attractive, either way… And that had been part, though not the largest part by far, of what had sent her into Paradise. But she wasn't talking about herself (a fact for which Kozue found herself grateful). She was talking about Ito.

"I don't think you can care about it too much, it's… Well, if we don't care enough, people die. How can there be a too much as an opposite?" Of course, to her, caring about and taking seriously were two slightly separate things. Different, though related. She stopped to think of something encouraging to say, and came up against that same block as before. Simple encouragement was cruel. "… Have you been doing anything to, I don't know, try to take more leadership?" It wasn't like they had a leader, now, to oppose him. Just a collection of people who were not profoundly interested in being led. And seeing him try to take control would, likely, end badly. So Kozue bit her lip a little. "I don't think you should, like, try to be in charge. We've been doing so much better as a group than with just one leader… But being a group means having different people step up at different times."

Even, disturbingly enough, Kondo Kozue. The thought flew through her head, what poor saps would let me be in charge for even a few minutes, and left her stomach with a familiar, sinking sensation.

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[info]keiito
2010-06-23 11:34 pm UTC (link)
"I...do, I suppose. There are lots of other clubs, and you're only supposed to be in one or two. I guess most people don't really like spending after school cooking."

Understandable, really, but that didn't mean Keiichi planned on giving up the ghost.

"As for Aoi-san and I...she's been trying to figure herself out, I think. I wish her luck with that." It was a largely genuine thought. He didn't hate Misaki. Probably couldn't ever hate her.

Listening to her comments, he found the need to amend. "It's...I know everyone cares, but it's the degree. Even with all my stupid jokes, I'm always trying to move forward. I don't know if that makes sense or not."

Every now and then, Keiichi was entirely unsure if ANYTHING he said made sense.

"Not really," he admitted. "No one wants me to lead anyway. They'd rather have someone like Ikeda-san lead if anyone at all, and they're not especially fond of that as an idea either."

Continuing to listen, Keiichi found himself agreeing with her, for the most part. There were, however, things he disagreed with.

"We have been doing better, but I worry there's going to come a point when we need to be organized. Our opposition is well-organized and seem to have no qualms about killing us. Against an enemy like that..."

He let the thought go unfinished.

"But...yeah. The more I think about it, the more I realize how right Dragon Dictator me was all along. There are things about him that I kind of respect."

Awkward pause.

"Some of the qualities he had, anyway," Keiichi quickly corrected. "He had the courage to break up with Misaki when I didn't. He fought you all to his last breath. Not that I'd have wanted him to win at all, but...if I ever have to go, surrounded by Shadows, I'd...like to think I'd go out swinging like that."

"I know this'll sound silly, but he's why I fight with both the sword and shield Sagaki-senpai gave me. My Shadow was an intolerant dictator, but there was a lot about him that I wished I could be that weren't those things. He *is* me. So I'm going to try and live up to those parts."

With the Iburi Duper Mart looming, Keiichi, with his usual ease of bouncing from idea to idea, changed the subject.

"What sort of curry do you like?"

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[info]anthesphoria
2010-06-24 10:57 pm UTC (link)
"Let's try Thai," Kozue responded, almost too quickly; they were trending into a strange place. On the one hand, it was healthy (she thought, at least, and she thought now) to try and embrace your Shadow, to find the parts of it that were good and try to live up to it. It was what she had been doing, after all, with at least a vague sense of accomplishment every now and again. (The fact that she was contact-less again today, that her contacts were sitting in the U-Bend somewhere, was a testament to that. The security of nobody having said anything was even more.)

On the other hand, he was expressing admiration of a part of him that had tried, very hard, to rip her to shreds, and very nearly succeeded. And just because he wouldn't have killed her—she didn't think, but wasn't sure, having never blacked out in a fight in Paradise before—didn't mean it hadn't been a serious threat at the time, nor that it hadn't hurt. She opened her mouth to add something about that—closed it again, chiding herself. Would she want someone to tell her, when she was opening up to them, that her Shadow had just been manipulative, whorish, lazy? She contemplated it a moment, and then, "I thought you just liked the shield. You seem to have fun with it."

It was a cop out. Kozue felt a bit bad about it, but done was done. And this was, after all, supposed to be a casual hook up. She wasn't here to coddle feelings all the time.

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[info]keiito
2010-06-24 11:31 pm UTC (link)
"Thai it is," Keiichi said agreeably (and a bit obliviously, really.)

Moments later, he felt the need to explain his shift of weaponry in more practical terms.

"The old shield got a bit unwieldy," he explained. "Besides, I sort of stabbed myself with the nails in it a lot practicing. The guidance counselor thought I was trying to harm myself."

The matter of fact way in which Keiichi said it may or may not have made it more upsetting.

"Part of me wishes I could just suplex all the Shadows, but that's somewhat more unwieldy for the bigger ones."

Even when being serious, there was usually something whimsical about Keiichi's mannerisms and thought process. If he thought hard enough about it, the younger Ito would probably find a lot of his father in that.

As they entered the Iburi Duper Mart, Keiichi made a quick mental checklist of what they'd need. "Is chicken okay for the curry? I'll make red curry. It's less spicy, but still has a nice kick to it."

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[info]anthesphoria
2010-06-25 12:07 am UTC (link)
Kozue nodded along, but could not keep the smirk off her face when the guidance counselor was mentioned. Or the laugh out of her voice when she spoke. That was one thing she remember that, while mortifying from one end, was delightful at the same time.

Ah, the things you could get away with when you were 'bereaved'. "Chicken is fine," she said, still chuckling a little. "And the counseling office is full of idiots."

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[info]keiito
2010-06-25 12:27 am UTC (link)
That smirk, Keiichi decided, was a dangerous sort of look.

"Sometimes," he grimaced, "I think the whole school is full of idiots. Except for..." A pause, and a shake of his head. "...the fact that it seems to be connected to all of this, somehow."

Down the meat aisle they went, with Keiichi's mind now dancing between chicken and angels.

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[info]anthesphoria
2010-06-28 01:21 am UTC (link)
She furrowed her brow, following at a quick clip to catch up to his longer stride, not sure where to go with that. "Well, not in the same way, most of the school is… functional. They can do their jobs. Or their schooling. You know."

She stopped to consider a piece of beef in the meat cooler. "I dunno, I think it's less to do with general idiocy and more with…" She waved her hand vaguely. Misery? Discontent? The inability to deal with shit? And calling that idiocy brought her dangerously close to naming herself an idiot.

And she was Not Doing That Anymore, remember?

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[info]keiito
2010-06-28 01:40 am UTC (link)
"Are you in the mood for beef," Keiichi asked, as Kozue looked longingly at the meat on display. "We can go with that. It stands up well to the spiciness of the curry."

Keiichi nodded. Cooking Mode Keiichi tended to have plans and ideas, and think things through, a far cry from most other modes of Keiichi Ito.

"Most of the school is more or less harmless," he agreed, as they continued to consider the meat section. "It's the part that's not I worry about. It's really disconserting to think Nanakamado might be plotting against us..."

Again, his voice was quiet when he spoke of Paradise. "More to do with what, Kondo-chan?" They had time to discuss. Once they selected the meat, all they had to do was pick up some vegetables (and maybe some chocolate). Most of the spices he had back at the dorm.

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[info]anthesphoria
2010-06-28 02:05 am UTC (link)
There was a brief pause, and then Kozue laughed, looking down at the meat she'd been studying. She'd really just been staring to stare, but…

"Hey, that wasn't bad. I don't care what you get, this just looked interesting." She waved at it, and then moved along. "I didn't think you meant like that, I thought you meant all the students, but… Do you really think, like, the teachers are in on it?"

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[info]keiito
2010-06-29 09:28 pm UTC (link)
Keiichi stooped down to pick up the cut of meat, figuring it was as good as anything else at this point.

"I don't know," Keiichi admitted, as they walked on towards the land of produce. "Aomori-sensei died for a reason. And believing that...I'd find it hard to believe that Nanakamado's staff is entirely blameless. This all started for us here, locked in the gym that day. I..."

He shook his head, as if trying to dismiss his thought as folly, which he thought it probably was.

"You ever get the feeling that...the angels wanted this all to happen? Us to get our powers? They know so much about everything that it seems a little convenient."

It did seem ridiculous, but then, the whole thing did, really.

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[info]anthesphoria
2010-06-29 09:36 pm UTC (link)
"Locked in the gym?"

Kozue tipped her head slightly—who had locked who in the gym? What did that have to do with anything? But clearly, Keiichi thought it a valid point to bring up in combination with Paradise, and there had to be a reason, right?

"Anyway, I... guess? I mean, it doesn't make sense if the teachers wanted to kill students and close the school, and the angels, I can't even begin to guess. I'm really not the right person to ask." She laughed a little (with an uncomfortable timbre to her voice, but it was subtle), and shifted her purse from one hand to the other. Who would think she was the sort of person to ask that sort of question to?

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[info]keiito
2010-06-29 11:49 pm UTC (link)
Oh. Sometimes, he forgot Kozue hadn't been there in the very beginning. "The first group of us all had one thing in common: we all got locked in the gymnasium while setting up for some silly event or another. One of us got the bright idea to try turning the lock the other way, and, well, you probably can guess the rest."

Keiichi smiled wryly. "I use to think it was a coincidence, but I am more and more suspicious of everything these days."

That tended to happen given all that was going on in their lives.

At her bit of self-deprication, he frowned, and stopped in front of the eggplants. "You actually tend to be one of the better people to ask things, usually," he said. "Level headed, and you never shout at anyone. Well, unless Ishinomori-san's being a dick."

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[info]anthesphoria
2010-06-29 11:57 pm UTC (link)
"Oh." She paused, but after a moment continued shifting her purse a bit oddly. "... I guess that is kind of weird, if you all had the, y'know, other thing in common." She was, in the middle of that sentence, reminded that they were in a public grocery store (because the intercom went on, advertising a special on daikon) and saying things like you had the power of Persona would be counterproductive. Or stupid.

"That is a bit suspicious." She came to stand by the eggplants as well, not really noticing them, now looking about a little as they went down the aisle, vague suspicion making her acutely aware of completely random suspicions. Was that guy watching them? What about the clerk? Maybe this was what it felt like to be Sagaki.

"You think? But I don't have any answers for stuff like this… not shouting hardly makes up for that."

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[info]keiito
2010-06-30 12:41 am UTC (link)
"It's a little weird," Keiichi agreed. "More than a little."

As he sized up the eggplants, he listened to her speak, and shook his head for a moment.

"Does anyone," he asked in reply, and the question was not rhetorical. "Sagaki-san does as much research as anyone, and even he doesn't have a clue. We're all running around in the dark, trying to piece this together."

Snatching up a sizeable eggplant from the pile, Keiichi tucked it under his free arm.

"All anyone can ever ask of any of us is to try our best. And you do."

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[info]anthesphoria
2010-06-30 12:48 am UTC (link)
"I—my…" She choked on the objection, and looked away, realizing rather belatedly what she sounded like. So she swallowed, instead, and nodded. "Thanks."

Even if her best wasn't successful, enough or at all? But the terrible, sinking feeling that dropped through her stomach let her know this, at the moment, was Nothing Good. It also had nothing to do with shopping for food, or even dealing with suspicious angels and teachers. So, she let out a breath, and shook her head. "Sorry, let's get back to shopping."

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[info]keiito
2010-06-30 01:42 am UTC (link)
Perception was never Keiichi's strong suit, but repetition was at least giving him the ability to recognize patterns. "Sorry, let's get back to shopping" was a pretty clear effort to change a subject that may or may not have actually needed changing.

"It's no problem at all," he replied. The search for further produce had been temporarily forgotten. "What is it, Kondo-chan?"

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[info]anthesphoria
2010-06-30 10:34 pm UTC (link)
"Nothing," she said, shaking her head a little and hoping that it seemed at least vaguely convincing. "I mean, unless you want me to explain all of the ways in which that's not true, and I'm not—" The words were ahead of her, and she stopped, not quite physically biting her tongue but coming close to it.

"Well," she took a breath, and made herself speak again, brushing another curl out of her face (they kept falling at her, maybe it was time for another trim or at least time to do something new with her bangs; the stray thought crossed her mind and vanished). "I don't really want to spill all of my... all of this out in the vegetable aisle, for one thing."

It was a very good way of avoiding two things. First, the immediately threatening descent into self-doubt and misery, and second, admitting the first thing to Ito.

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[info]keiito
2010-06-30 11:00 pm UTC (link)
His head cocked to one side. He was getting better at this sort of thing, in tiny increments. Keiichi made no move to speak, just continued to listen.

It was probably the first time that Keiichi was aware of that her inadvertent playing with her hair hadn't forced a temporary derailment of the choo-choo train that doggedly powered Keiichi's higher thought process.

"Would it be better if we talked about it while I cooked us dinner," he asked. "The kitchen in the dorms may as well be mine by now, no one else ever goes in there. Everyone else subsists on cup ramen..."

He frowned a bit, but really, he was thankful for having his own kitchen. It meant he could eat well, and prepare his by now signature Post Paradise Cookies (tm)

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[info]anthesphoria
2010-06-30 11:18 pm UTC (link)
Kozue nodded; "The kitchen can be, like, barricaded or something. At least, the door can be closed, and the stock boy isn't staring at us." She tipped her head slightly, and, indeed, the stock boy in the little red DuperMart apron (probably a high school student, maybe even a Nanakamado student, though Kozue didn't recognize him) was watching them, and had all but ceased shelving apples at this point.

She didn't seem perturbed; being stared at was just part of her life. But she wasn't going to go talking about things that made her genuinely miserable while random strangers and potential schoolmates were about and eavesdropping.

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[info]keiito
2010-06-30 11:34 pm UTC (link)
"Of course we can wait...what?"

Keiichi turned around, and there he was, Mr. DuperMart Stock Boy.

"Sometimes," Keiichi said, leading her away from Stock Boy and selecting a few peppers, "I feel like a celebrity when I'm with you."

With peppers in hand, he stooped down to pick up a conveniently left-there basket, and transferred the groceries into it.

"How do you deal with it," he asked, quietly, once out of eyesight of Stock Boy on the way to checkout. "I'm sort of private and shy. I'd go nuts."

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[info]anthesphoria
2010-06-30 11:40 pm UTC (link)
She followed, mood improved by that throwaway comment or joke or whatever it had been. Like a celebrity was nice. It was a lot nicer than freak or foreigner or someone running an embassy, certainly, for which Kozue found herself thankful.

"Well, I guess I just always have?" The rising inflection really did make it sound like a question; Kozue wasn't sure. "It's not like people actually want to bother me, or get to know me," well, some of them did, and some of them just wanted to touch her hair. That had happened a few times. "So I just try to tune it out. It's better than when I was a kid."

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[info]keiito
2010-06-30 11:59 pm UTC (link)
"Mmm." Keiichi could see that. It probably came with being pretty.

Though, as he continued to listen, it sounded like there was a more sinister explanation lurking under the surface.

"What happened when you were a kid? If you don't mind me asking, of course," he quickly amended, as they arrived at the self-checkout station.

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[info]anthesphoria
2010-07-01 12:02 am UTC (link)
She hovered, for a moment, around the checkout, before stepping off to the side and looking upwards. Somewhere into the middle distance. She shrugged. "Well, now, I'm pretty. People look at me for that. When I was little, it was all about being half. People stared because of that. My hair, and my eyes, and when I was out with my mom? Her, too. When I was out with someone else, they tried to figure out whether or not we were related." She clasped her hands in front of her, purse dangling from one wrist. "And people'll say stuff to a kid that they'd never say to a teenager or a grown up, you know?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]keiito, 2010-07-01 12:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]anthesphoria, 2010-07-01 12:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]keiito, 2010-07-01 01:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]anthesphoria, 2010-07-01 01:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]keiito, 2010-07-01 01:41 am UTC

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