InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Have you seen my brain?"

Oubai, Kouchisei (daioujou) wrote in disappear_rpg,
@ 2010-04-22 02:32:00

Entry tags:

kou, kozue, shadow

Who: Kou and Kozue.
What: Lunch.
Where: School's roof.
When: Lunchtime.
Why: For ~~Ferelden!~~ the thread.

Kouchisei had made his way to the rooftop as soon as the homeroom teacher he'd been watching closely had ended class; he was not as willing to ignore the danger around him now as he had done so before. What he wanted to know was who these people were - not if they were righteous, because he knew causing death, no matter the person, wasn't the right thing - and if they could end this horrible mess if caught.

So he'd come to the rooftop to think. He feared he was unwilling to go into Paradise, and as proof fainting due to a drop in blood pressure and a decrease of the oxygen supply to his brain was an understandable loss of consciousness. At least he'd learned Paradise was unsafe, and if he told people how he was feeling now... perhaps they would understand him more.

His expression was flat and emotionless. What he wanted to do now was to not think about where he shouldn't be but about a person instead. He knew Toshimi had been ill and needed care, and he believed he was the right person to give her that. He knew he had been an idiot at the beach and owed some people an apology, but more importantly he had the sense he'd been wronged and because he had never received an apology for that, everyone else could wait.

He leaned back in the chair, and removed the lid from his boxed meal.

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daioujou
2010-04-22 03:49 am UTC (link)

Some people were complimented by taste, and others sight. People smiled when honoured. Others frowned at praise. Kouchisei was one of those, except when it came to comments on maturity he would take the warmth he'd been given and return it with a kind expression on his face.

He shunted over, keeping his legs shut and his ankles crossed beneath the bench. It was still lunchtime and she likely would not take up all of it. He could afford to be a little bit polite.

"Unexpected, I suppose."

The thought she would only be let down by love marriages entered his head and didn't leave it for a while. He knew it would happen. He'd seen her journal and the flippant attitude towards it. He also had work and a career to make. It was better to let one's parents decide.

"Is there something you want?"

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anthesphoria
2010-04-22 03:55 am UTC (link)

She walked over, and sank down onto the bench beside Kou. "... I don't think many people would understand, really, but I bet you would. I'm frightened—I don't have anyone to look after my best interests for my future. Or anything to do, now."

She folded her hands again and looked down. Her shoulders sagged slightly—it looked like she was folding in on herself, just a little bit. (And for good reason. It was very carefully meant to.) "What do you think I should do?"

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daioujou
2010-04-22 04:19 am UTC (link)

As much as he enjoyed compliments, Kouchisei enjoyed controlling things. The view you would not want your life controlled was, to him, an unnatural thing. He paid it so little thought that the idea he could be independant was rare. The thought of self-autonomy was strange, and he kept struggling in trying to come to grips with it. Then he would remind himself he was hoping to go to university on the mainland. How could he contradict himself?

He listened to Kozue, though he did not make eye contact. His mind worked quickly at the thought he could help someone improve their life by showing them where they were wrong. The risk of change was something nobody paid attention to.

Truthfully, there was self-satisfaction that Kozue had come running back to him, begging and in need. It felt damn good being right. His thoughts were otherwise focused on remembering the social teachings about what made women happy. It was hard, not living with a woman meant he had to remember what his father said, of all people.

"Find a man and settle down. You think you're happy, but you're not. There is a family that will support you. Friends that will help you. The hardest thing is getting used to not having her presence in your life. But if you're not going to marry, at least consider your future career. Do you want to end up a NEET?"

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anthesphoria
2010-04-22 04:44 am UTC (link)

"That's all just advice. And not very specific. And I'm not happy now." She sighed, leaned back, and looked up at the sky. "Everyone just thinks that. Oubai, you know what I think?" She let the question hang, eyes darting at him only once to check the satisfied smile on his face. It was something he would want, as much as she would need it. Her hands were still crossed in her lap. This much stillness would be galling in a moment, and she would need to stand up—get up—get away, but for now...

"We should get married. You'd be wonderful at choosing everything I needed to do—you liked it before, anyway, and I don't see any reason you wouldn't keep on getting off on it, and I wouldn't even have to get used to not having my grandmother in my life, practically."

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daioujou
2010-04-22 04:30 pm UTC (link)

Kouchisei withdrew his phone. He liked to believe he knew who Kozue was, what her behaviours were, and had grown comfortable with the assessment he was better off away from her. Eyes focused and cast down, his fingertips were running down the side of the device. Once her words had settled in his mind, the sickness in his stomach began to rise quicker and quicker, and he stood up.

His hand, which was clutching his phone, was raised to his chin. Talking to her - showing forgiveness - had taken a lot of strength. This was an insult. He cast out his arms to push the bad feeling away, and sat back down.

"I'm not interested. You've made it clear what you think of me. Besides, you wanted to make your own decisions. Live with it."

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anthesphoria
2010-04-22 05:03 pm UTC (link)

She blinked—and then laughed. Derisively.

"God, you're not even paying attention, are you? I wanted to make my own decisions?" Kozue rose from the bench, but her posture was much changed; no more submissive walking up, no more politeness. "Brilliant. Really. I'm sure I can find someone with at least a brain to do it for me. But that." Her eyes went to his mobile phone. "Won't do at all."

She lashed out with the back of her hand—with strength Kozue genuinely had but so rarely displayed, perhaps a bit more speed, perhaps just taking advantage of the fact that Kozue had never hit anyone or anything before. But she was aiming for Oubai's phone, to knock it out of his hand.

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daioujou
2010-04-22 05:36 pm UTC (link)

Kouchisei's cell smashed fragmentally on the layer of concrete. He could only stand dazed beside the remains, even though he was aware. What he wanted was to turn and ask the crazy girl what she was doing, but his eyes were faster than his mind, which had stuck on the fact Kozue had done this. His gaze swept over the ruined device. It was incomprehensible, really, that she had.

Once he hit the mark, he had to be held back with some force to stop himself doing something he should have done swiftly - he was heading for the bench, where he organised his bento and gave a low-whispered comment. He could feel through the anger that something wasn't quite right and rubbed his hands.

"I suppose there's an excuse for this somewhere. What is it?"

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	anthesphoria 2010-04-22 10:06 pm UTC (link)
	But there was no answer from Kozue. She smiled, brilliantly. "Sorry, Oubai, I guess we're out of time. Got to run!" She turned on her heel and dashed back across the roof, disappearing into the stairwell again. The sound of heels clicking rapidly down the metal stairs inside the school was audible for a few moments, but it receded quickly into silence. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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