dear you,

you'll never see this letter, because you dont know about this site.. so much the better, so that whatever i express will not cause any wierd drama, but you know what? its good here...

You are my best friend, and i love you dearly. But i know there is that conflicting part of me that is crushing part of who you are as well.. but how can i help it when you've done so much to help me out and we've grown close enough as friends that your actions make me wonder on rare times?

I dont rush it though.. i just do things as i see fit. I'll text you one.. maybe twice a day to just let you know im thinkin of you, or hoping for you to have a good day. Why not? That's what friends -- no, best friends do. But its so hard for me to get used to the fact that in your own random, strange way, you do care about me.

You're the first guy in the world ive met that has been focusing on what's going on with my life.. or knowing/asking. Its so strange to watch/hear you know. like surprising me when you told me "So... new store tomorrow?" you so threw me off with remembering on top of your busy schedule...

or when you randomly catch me off guard with finding something to compliment me on and make me inwardly blush... crap you're good at that.

or the fact when i saw you today, when i heard the knews you're going to the air force, and you hugged and semi kissed my cheek -- both hi and bye, and saying you had to come see grandma, and work out times to hang out together... you had never kissed my cheek at all to any degree, its something new for you.

I will seriously miss you like mad when i know you arent in the state.. i know this. I hate when you dont go tuesdays, or when i only see you briefly on sundays with our conflicting schedules... ill miss you randomly making me smile and blush. granted if/when we can get ourselves together im demanding you give me the address so since i wont be able to text i will write the letters to give you the positive motivation while you're so far away in Basic Training... and while you're out, because its gotten to be second nature. That and i will finish writing more of my book to give you something to read when you're there... since you're immortalized within it.


I love you-- in so many ways, some ways you'll never know and most that you will.