Bill Weasley (redskyatnight) wrote in crackitup, @ 2009-01-13 17:06:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | bill weasley, sirius black |
WHO: Sirius Black and Bill Weasley
WHERE: 12 Grimmauld Place
WHEN: Backdated to January 7, 1996
WHAT: Pizza, beer, and venting
RATING: Mid-level for language and various dirty jokes.
STATUS: Complete
Holding a stack of two pizza boxes in one hand and a six-pack of beer in the other, Bill stood on the porch of Grimmauld Place, trying to figure out how to knock. Clearly using one of his hands wasn't possible, but he could always put the beer down. But that would be admitting defeat.
Finally he huffed up and kicked the door twice with one of his steel-toed boots. It wasn't hard enough to cause damage, but it was hard enough to make a knocking sound. "Oi, Sirius, open up! I've got the goods."
It was an odd day out when Grimmauld Place found Sirius ensconced in an armchair, still as a maypole. He was alone in his thoughts. He couldn't remember when he last sat still, let alone sat down in Grimmauld. There was always something demanding him somewhere, someone who needed him for something, and whether it was James or Draco or Regulus or Remus or Nympha..
THUD! THUD!
That train of thought derailed, Sirius all but bounced to his feet to get the door before Kreacher could.
"Hallo, Weasley." A ghost of that sly smirk of his curling on his lips, Sirius plucked the six-pack out of Bill's hand. "I'll take these off your hands, mate. C'mon in. I've my tea set in the parlour."
"Tea set?" scoffed Bill. "In your parlour? No thanks, mate. I rather like my balls right where they are."
He willingly handed over the six pack, then followed Sirius in. Looking around, he wondered what his mum thought whenever she walked into Grimmauld Place. "Speaking of, there's this French bird I met a while back. Part Veela." Setting down the pizza, he took a seat. "But enough about my amazing skills. How's your rubbish coming? Things looking brighter?"
Sirius wished he had set out the china just to see the look on Bill's face.
"You speak of birds and bollocks together? Here I thought your mum taught you better than that." Sirius tsked, plopping down in the seat opposite from Bill. He wasted no time in cracking open two cans and shoving one Bill's way.
"Brighter? Not really, no. There's still rubbish, heaps of it." Shaking his head, Sirius took a long sip. He wasn't ready to delve into those heaps just yet. "Tell me about this French Veela of yours. She's a belle, non?"
"My mum did teach me better than that, but clearly it isn't getting through very well. Charlie and I are lost causes, but we have high hopes for Percy." He didn't mention Ron at this point. The chances of Ron ever being in a relationship after what had happened...Bill's fist tightened at the thought.
"Let's talk about your rubbish first, then I can tell you about my amazing New Years Eve," said Bill, opening the pizza and helping himself. "Something to look forward to after all the rubbish talk is done."
"Percy's a good bloke. Brought me coffee once, he did. Makes you and Charlie look like monsters." Percy also willingly ventured out to a club with Sirius, a very flamboyant club, but that was their little secret.
"You want to hear my rubbish first? I don't even know where to bloody begin." It was the truth -- he didn't. There was a lot, and most of it could only be spoken about in vague terms. If cryptography were a trade, Sirius would be considered an expert. His shoulders sagged a little.
"He is a good bloke," agreed Bill, cracking open a beer. "At least Mum has him to place her hopes and dreams in. Merlin, I'm starving. Ever since that bloody German takeover, it's like the Ministry thinks we haven't got anything better to do than to work. It's maddening."
Noticing the sag in Sirius' posture, Bill narrowed his eyes slightly. "Well then, I'd advise you to take this opportunity to stop being everyone else's support system and let someone else share the burden for once. My lips are sealed," he promised. "Can't keep it in forever, mate. But in cases like this, it's generally best to start from the beginning, or as close to the beginning as you can get. Alternatively, the worst of it is also a good place to start."
Bill was right. Sirius seemed to be everyone's support, and when that happened, he couldn't be weak when someone else needed him strong. He couldn't whinge when someone else needed to vent. He couldn't let it show that he was approaching the tipping point, stretching himself too thin.
"Reckon you have a point there," Sirius conceded, reaching for a slice of pizza. He began picking off the toppings. "The worst, that's where I'll start. Nymphadora -- 'm absolutely certain she wants nothing to do with me anymore. All the shite I put myself through for her, all the shite I would still put my foolish arse through for her, and the one time I needed her to.."
To say it was all right, pretend she was happy for him, attempt to extend the proverbial olive branch to Remus, or anything but accuse him of purposefully turning his back on her and using her behind her back-- "..to be supportive, she couldn't, and now I'm not even certain I know who she is anymore. The Nymphadora I knew wasn't spiteful. She was fun! She bloody cared, and she was so brilliant, she made it worth gritting my teeth and trying not to explode just to stay in Druella's good graces so I wouldn't lose her.
But now she's lost herself to me."
Bill looked at his beer as Sirius spoke, figuring that eye contact wasn't the best way to handle things when they were having this kind of conversation. Nothing to make Sirius feel awkward about it, at least. Thinking about what he was telling him, Bill hesitated before answering.
"I don't know how worthwhile this is going to be without knowing the crux of the issue, but..." Bill took a breath. "It's shite that anything happened between you two that's making you this damn miserable. Pure shite. And fixing it is clearly in your best interest, and likely Nymphadora's as well. So let's look at it that way, having acknowledged just how shitty it all sounds."
He chewed his lower lip, then looked up and directly at Sirius. "Let's look at what's been going on for both of you. Your engagement sham, for one, so she and Charlie could stay together, am I right? But Charlie, being the dolt he is, gets all high-and-mighty. I heard about that." He shook his head. "Wish I'd been there to knock some sense into him. So all right, so that gets called off. Is it possible she feels uncomfortable about that, maybe, and she doesn't know how to act around you anymore, so she's being very un-Dora-like?"
Bill's frown deepened. "Also, we have to take Carrow into consideration, along with the Tonkses coming back from the dead and my niece. Not easy for anyone. I'm not making excuses for her," he added quickly. "I'm just saying that that's the kind of shite you don't wish on your worst enemy. And Merlin knows hormones do strange things to women." He shook his head. "That aside, have you tried to talk to her? Not argue or try to make your point clear or get defensive, but actually sit down face to face instead of that journal rot and actually discuss things civilly?" He gave Sirius a look. "You've seen the shite on the journals as much as I have. Likely more. No one's making life easy for her right now, and as lost as she feels to you, maybe it's possible she feels pretty lost to herself as well. She's young, and who the hell knows who they are when they're her age? And all of the madness the past few months - I'd be feeling pretty bloody lost myself. Lashing out at whoever was around, all of that. Maybe it has nothing to do with not wanting to support you at all, and maybe you're just the one person she felt secure enough about to take her anger out on without dealing with the consequences. Maybe it was just bad timing on your part. Not that that's an excuse or a reason or your fault at all, but just - bad timing."
He took another drink, wishing he had more information to go off of. "Either way, mate, the only way these sorts of problems get solved is sitting down and talking it out. Communication and all - you aren't going to get anywhere without it. Whatever her problem is, I've seen the way she lights up when she talks about you. That sort of love - the, er, platonic sort, hopefully, and if it isn't, I don't want to know--" Bill cleared his throat and looked back at his bottle. "--anyhow, that doesn't go away overnight or because of one argument, no matter how bad it is. There's nothing that could make me turn my back on Ginny. I love her more than air, but we've had some blow-outs before. It's amazing the Burrow's still standing, when you get down to it. But in the end, we talk things out. It isn't perfect, and Merlin knows it wasn't all kisses and hugs after one conversation, but it sounds like you're both going through hell right now, and I'm sure you want to be there for her no matter how unreasonable she's being. I bet she wants to be there for you too, even if she isn't expressing it well. Or at all. So instead of putting up with her shite and letting her do this, elbow your way back in there, sit her down, and tell her what you're feeling. And you keep doing it until she listens. Yeah, it's exhausting, but it's a hell of a lot better than feeling like shite and doing nothing. And if she's worth it to you..." Bill shrugged. "What's more important than family, eh?"
Sirius was trying very, very hard to hear Bill out, because the bloke was being reasonable and trying to help, not trying to provoke him into losing his shite all over again. He reminded himself this again and again, a broken-record mantra in his head, until Bill finished having his piece.
“When she was going through all that and closing people out, lashing out at the people who care about her, deceiving herself into thinking no one cares, I was the one saying the words that just came out of your mouth. I defended her, told them to try to understand what she’s been through, implored them to cut her some slack because who wouldn’t be floundering after all that rubbish? I tried to make them see she needs to be forgiven because of the cards she’d been dealt. Even when I was bloody fed up and tired with justifying her behaviour, I kept on. I didn’t throw up my hands and leave her to the wolves. Even when it overwhelmed me just about as much as it did her -- Carrow, her parents being alive this whole bloody time, and the baby after I adamantly told her to use a buggering contraceptive device of any sort -- even when I told her she could walk away from Druella and Carrow and be with Charlie, be happy with her daughter, that I wouldn’t let them hurt her or anyone else, but she refused -- I didn’t lose it on her. Then she turns around and says that I’d been using her, that wanting one thing she doesn’t like is more painful than all the hurting hell Druella has put her through, that I’m turning my back on her for no fucking good reason--” Sirius stopped and sucked in a long breath, trying to collect himself. He was edging dangerously close to crumbling the can in his hands. His other clenched fist was shaking.
“I’m a man of flesh and bones, mate. I get hurt same as the rest of us, I lose my patience fast, and yeah, it’d be fantastic if I could sit down and try to talk with her civil-like without losing my temper, but I’m not bloody saint perfect. I might’ve been able to cool off and try after I calmed down, but now thanks to her resigning with no proper explanation, Remus has been demoted and the Ministry’s investigating his conduct. In case you hadn’t noticed, they don’t get on well. At all. It’s one thing to lash out on me, I can manage that, but it’s a completely different storybook to lash out at someone who’s been my best mate for twenty four years. He’s worked ages for that position, and you don’t know how’s it tore him down and apart to pieces, mate. He was one of the Order’s best sources for accessing inside information, and now he’s back to square one. He’s back to being where he was fifteen years ago. She could have explained she was with child, saved him all this miserable trouble, but she didn’t. Instead she called him a bastard and left them with good reason to suspect he was the reason why she left like she’d threatened to on his account before.”
Sirius hung his head and finished off the rest of his beer in one, long-lasting, dearly needed chug. He crushed the empty can in a fist. “I’m not saying I don’t want to mend things, or that I don’t love her anymore, because she means a bloody helluva lot to me, but -- fuck, she isn’t making it easy, y’know? It’s like she’s trying to make it as bloody difficult as possible, and I’m all out of patience for it. After the accusations and after all the grief she’s put me through, I’m sick of being the one who has to patch things up when they get torn apart.”
Bill listened patiently as Sirius went on, though he was ready to dodge a beer can if it came to that. The more Sirius talked, the more Bill was able to piece together. So this definitely had something to do with Remus Lupin then. He'd suspected something had been going on between Sirius and Remus after the Christmas Party, but even if it were just Sirius being shoved between his cousin and his best mate...that was bad enough.
"Birds never make it easy on us, mate, family or not. And Nymphadora has the maturity of an eleven-year-old," said Bill flatly. "Even then, that might be doing the eleven-year-olds of the world a disservice. From what Charlie's told me, she's never had the chance to be an adult or take any kind of responsibility, am I right? So throwing all of this at her and expecting her to be mature, responsible, and an adult about it is expecting way too much. Not an excuse for her behaviour or a reason to forgive her for it - but maybe forgiveness isn't what she needs, mate. Maybe a good smack upside the head and a reality check would be better."
He took another drink of beer, wishing it were something stronger, but figuring getting pissed probably wasn't the best solution to all of this for Sirius. "You've every right in the world to feel hurt and angry about it. Hell, I would be, too, and frankly I think it's a miracle you didn't snap sooner with all the shite that's been thrown your way. Do you know what Charlie did after he found out about Carrow? Shut down for damn near two months. Didn't work, didn't do anything, kept to himself all the bloody time, shut everyone out, including me, Mum, and Dora, lashed out when we tried to help - he wasn't Charlie anymore. He had every right to be upset and unhappy and react however he bloody wanted to, but he was hurting Mum and Dad in the process, and it wasn't fair to either of them. My brother disappeared, and he was replaced with this thing that didn't seem to care about anything but his own misery. But we stayed there with him and gave him hell for it - while being the supportive, loving family we're supposed to be, of course - and eventually I got through to him. But if we'd walked away and let him deal with it on his own with the way he was pushing us away, he'd still be like that, I reckon. And I also reckon I'd have never gotten my brother back, either, not the way he is now.
"So," said Bill slowly, not wanting to piss Sirius off anymore than he already was, "Remus' pride is hurt and he's being investigated. If he didn't do anything, he didn't do anything, and that's that. It'll get fixed. They can't make shite up and take his job away from him for it. There'd be an uproar. Maybe Dora didn't give an excuse for her resignation because she assumed they'd think it was her pregnancy. That's what I thought when I read she'd quit." He shrugged. "Maybe that's what it really was. Either way, your best bet to get Remus his job back is to get her to say that's what it was and absolve him of any wrongdoing. So...how's that for incentive to try to talk to her civilly? Any good at all? Or is it rubbish and not something you're up for?"
Scratching his head, Bill picked a pepperoni off of his slice. "Ever consider that maybe she's pushing you away on purpose? It's a coping mechanism." He gave Sirius a look. "I dated a Muggle shrink in Egypt. But anyway, from what you're telling me, it sounds like she is, and I bet it isn't because she doesn't love you anymore. It's what people do when they're feeling hurt, alone, and scared without any idea of how to fix things. If you've done everything you can think of to make things right and they still aren't, then you're going to have to look beyond you and figure out what her problem is. Charlie coped by pushing us all away. Maybe that's what Dora's doing now, but because she hasn't got much family, you're receiving the brunt of it. And because she and Remus don't get on, it's making everything seem worse than it actually is. Using him as an excuse or whatnot." He shrugged. "Just an idea, but you've got two choices, mate: let this play out on her terms or let it play out on yours. Her terms, you might never get your cousin back, and Merlin only knows what kind of damage it'll do to both of you. Look at the damage it's already done, for fuck's sake. Your terms, you can give yourself time to cool off, and you can take it slowly. She has to crack sometime. They all do. And maybe that's what she's waiting for, for you to apologise - even if you didn't do anything wrong, you know birds. Apologise, and that's half the battle right there, even if she's the one in the wrong. But they always feel we're the villains, don't they? That's what men are for, to take the blame even if we all know it isn't our fault to begin with. They wind up apologising too, y'know, they just need us to take the first step. So in the end, you're going to have to figure out what matters most to you and act on it. Either it's your pride and your temper, or it's being willing to put up with a lot of rotten rubbish from someone you love to make sure you're both still standing at the end of it. It's up to you, mate. Let it fester and be miserable and angry, or do something about it, even if it means swallowing a bitter pill in the process."
“Dated a muggle shrink, eh?” questioned Sirius, quirking an eyebrow at Bill. Sounded to him like Bill read more than his fair share of girly books. That, or he was more like Molly than he liked to let on. One road or another, Sirius absorbed what Bill told him with dissolving anger. ‘Course it helped that Bill was a good bloke, but his temper tended to be in constant flux where Nymphadora was concerned. Flaring up with the fury of hell’s hounds in one moment, burnt out the next. Like finding a pup tore up your favourite pair of slippers, Sirius normally couldn’t stay angry at Nymphadora for longer than all of a day. She was a little sister to him, the one he looked after and protected, aware she had him wrapped around her finger, and maybe that’s why more than anything, more than her deliberately loathing Remus, the accusations she flung at him dug under his skin and struck him to his core.
He might’ve been able to shake it off after a week or so, but then Remus shattered and that changed everything. It showed him how far Nymphadora was willing to go to spite someone, showed him whether it was intentional or not, she was thoughtless enough to douse the wound with saltwater.
Sirius opened another can. He didn’t feel much hungry, but he wouldn’t mind feeling a little warm buzz. “Maybe,” he said, and that was all he had to say about it. Maybe he would let things things spoil past repair. Maybe he might push past the pride and mend things. He didn’t know. It was a fucking bitter pill to swallow. He loved her, but after this -- there would always be a shadow of doubt niggling the back of his thoughts. A film of residue he couldn’t scrub off. “I don’t bloody know, Bill. It’s easy to say, another thing to do. Right now I’ve no desire to speak to her, not even to get her to absolve Remus. Probably backfire anyroad.” Sirius snorted mirthlessly. “I’d get accused of only speaking to her in order to save him, and you know what? For the first time, she’d be right. I’d only be talking to her for his sake. It’s too soon to think clearly and say whose terms I want to play by. Part of me wonders how many times she’s going to push me away and lash out to cope. I can’t keep going through this routine without resenting her for it. I don’t forgive and forget.”
"For a few months," admitted Bill sheepishly. "May have met her through counseling." He scratched her head, not wanting to go down that road. "Either way, it's a valid...thing. Coping mechanisms or the like. You've probably got a few as well."
Bill continued to pick at the pizza, listening to Sirius. "It's always easier to say than to do, mate. If life were easy, things would be a whole hell of a lot better for everyone. You don't need to speak to her now. Wait 'til this whole mess with Lupin is figured out, or whenever the hell you feel up to it. Take your time. Rushing it will only make things worse for you. And that way she can't accuse you of speaking to her to save Lupin's arse."
Running his fingers through his hair, he leveled a serious gaze at Sirius. "You always forgive and forget with family. If you didn't - you being the general you, of course - shite would build up to the point where they wouldn't be family anymore. Merlin knows Charlie and I would've never spoken again after the rubbish we've gone through, or even me and my mum. It happens. You deal with it, you let yourself feel hurt and talk to whoever you need to talk to and do whatever you need to do, but in the end, you forgive and you forget. Everything will be okay in the end if you let it, but only if you let it."
He took a swig of beer. "So, what else is troubling you, Mr Black?"
Sirius stared down at the can of beer nursed in his hands. He wanted to believe Bill about the forgiving and forgetting part, he really did. He wanted to believe he could forgive Nymphadora and things would go back to the way they were before she married Carrow and he told her Andromeda and Ted were alive. He wanted things to rewind to a time when he wasn't being accused of abandoning her and everyone he loved for lust. He did.
"Hope you're right, Weasley," said Sirius, and he meant it. He honestly hoped that, when the time was right and everything with Remus was sorted out, he would be able to forgive Nymphadora and let go. He wanted his little sister back.
"The seriousness of this conversation is what's troubling me, mate." Sirius groaned theatrically. "Tell me about this French bird of yours already, yeah? The one that's part Veela," he prompted.
Bill knew he was right; he didn't need Sirius' hope or reassurances that he was. Family was family, and he had complete faith that even if Sirius and Dora were both having a shitty time of it now, they would come to realise that eventually. "Just remember how much she loves you, mate, and how much you love her. Even if right now neither of you are keen on showing it. She wouldn't be like this if she wasn't hurting, just like you're only acting like this because you're hurting, too." And with that, he let the subject drop, happy to move onto something that wasn't so bloody depressing.
"Ah, Fleur." He grinned and leaned back, stretching leisurely like the mouse that had gotten the cheese. "Blonde. French. Part-Veela. Saying anything else is wholly unnecessary, but since you asked so nicely...she's younger than me. Eighteen or so, but definitely legal. Out of school. Her father works for the Ministry, I think, so I'll have to make a point of avoiding his Department like the plague if this becomes anything serious. Her name's Fleur Delacour, and she is a little French firecracker." Bill shot Sirius a sly grin. "I don't think I've had such a brilliant New Years in years. From the way she was talking, she was a beginner, or at most an intermediate, but she either has brilliant instincts or knew exactly what she was doing."
Sirius's eyebrows winged upwards. A year ago, this would have been a bird he would have been all for getting intimately acquainted with. Now, however, he was happy for his friend (and more than happy being unavailable, and uninterested, for a rendezvous). "Regular natural, was she?" Sirius chortled, knowing exactly what that sly grin meant. He didn't need it spelled out. "D'ya reckon it will become serious with this bird, then?"
"Serious?" Bill shrugged. "Dunno. It was what it was. Brilliant, best I've had in ages, but she's young and I reckon she and Mum don't get on. With all that's going on in the family, I don't think now is the time to really press for a serious relationship. But she'd be fun to see again."
The thought of an actual relationship with someone was enough to make Bill squirm. He hadn't had one of those since Egypt, and with good reason. He didn't fancy becoming a target for gold diggers. The Weasleys were notoriously poor, so one with money...well, maybe he didn't have loads to worry about, but he was wary of women and relationships at the moment for this very reason. The last thing he wanted was to be taken advantage of. "I'm not ruling it out, but I'm not saying yes to it either. Have to figure her out first."
"What, you mean to tell me Molly isn't thrilled all the way to her toes she might have more grandchildren on the way?" Sirius feigned a look of utter befuddlement. Molly, bless her heart, was always trying to play matchmaker.
"No reason to rush," he continued on. A growl in his stomach reminded him he hadn't eaten in.. well, wasn't important. He nicked a slice of pizza from the box. "Best way to trip over your own foot is to keep trying to see what's ten feet ahead and not what's beneath your feet. That, and you have to be careful with the pretty ones. Nothing but trouble." A wink followed the warning. "From one pretty person to another, trust me. We're trouble."
Bill snorted. "I think Mum's had her fair share of excitement over grandchildren lately. Plus I get the feeling she doesn't like the idea of me dating someone so much younger. Not that seven years is some huge time gap, but y'know." He shrugged again. "Don't think I want to settle down anytime soon anyhow. Settling down means marriage and a house and kids, and I'll have enough trouble on my hands helping Charlie get his life in order. Plus seeing all the shite he's going through, I'm not up for repeating the process."
He shook his head. They'd had enough doom and gloom for one conversation. "Yeah, yeah, I've got time and all that rot. Look who's talking." Bill flashed Sirius an amused grin. "I've got a bet going on you, y'know. How long it'll take you."
Taking another drink, he raised an eyebrow and added jokingly, "Think I'm pretty, do you? Should I be making sure you keep your hands to yourself then?"
"Judging by the size of your lot? Doubt she'll be satisfied with just one for long," Sirius cheekily remarked, playing the Devil's advocate. "Charlie's shite comes from a whole different rubbish dump, but I understand both sides of the coin. The too-bloody-busy dragging younger siblings out of the doldrums bit, and settlement bit. The avenues of settling down and talking about the prices of groceries and what laundry you've washed aren't a match for the sundries of pubs, casual encounters, and venturing out for a spot of fun."
Not until you were close to being absolutely certain you found the right person you could endure the boredom for, maybe come to endear it -- or that person shared the same aversion to settlement and all it entailed.
"Begging your pardon?" Sirius shot Bill a look, surprise battling with a side of sly amusement. "How long it'll take me to what, settle down and become domesticated? I'd like to know who you're betting against."
Gulping down another drink, Sirius barked a laugh. This was just the sort of light banter he needed. "Don't go worrying your knickers into a knot, Weasley. I'll keep my paws to myself." Pause for his signature smirk. "Some can only hope to be so lucky to be groped by the likes of Sirius Black."
"It'll give Percy and the twins time to get down to business," said Bill dismissively. "And in the meantime, she has worrying about Charlie and the kid to keep her busy. There's always something new there - last time I heard, they'd settled on a name, so I'm sure she's going mad monogramming every baby blanket she can find. Besides, she knows better than to expect me to settle down anytime soon. Not even sure I want kids, not after having to deal with my family growing up. I've changed enough nappies for one lifetime, thanks." He made a face at Sirius' description of settling down. At least they agreed there.
He chuckled. "Not on your life. A bet's a bet, and if I start spreading it around, then everyone will be in on the pool, and I rather like my odds as they are, thanks. But no one's dumb enough to bet on you ever getting the old ball and chain, don't worry."
Snorting, Bill finished off his beer and opened another one. "Ha. Ha. You, my friend, will be the lucky one if I ever decide to give you a glimpse of the reason the Weasleys always have so many bloody children." He waggled his eyebrows. "And I don't wear knickers, thank you, though if that's what you're into, far be it from me to question what flies your broomstick."
"They have a name for her?" This was news to Sirius, and hearing it from a secondary source and not Nymphadora? Stung more than he cared to let on. "That should keep your mum occupied for the next few months or so. But not forever. She'll be after you and your sown oats not before long. I'd wager ten galleons on it."
Nothing like a bet to lift one's spirits.
"Is a glimpse all it would take to see it? Must not be much," Sirius countered, grinning winsomely as he lifted his can to Bill's in a mock toast.
Bill nodded, sensing that maybe mentioning they'd had a name hadn't been the best of ideas. "I just heard, mate, literally walking out the door. Went to see how Charlie was, and that's how I heard. He was smiling all funny and shite, so I was suspicious. From what I gathered, they just decided earlier this evening." He managed a chuckle. "She's been after me and my sown oats for ages - she just knows better than to expect anything, and I'll bet you ten galleons she doesn't see me walk down any aisle for at least five years."
Lifting his can in return, Bill matched Sirius' winsome grin. "Aye, a glimpse is all your poor mortal soul could take. You'd be blinded if you looked much longer, y'know."
"Good on them," Sirius said, keeping a smile tacked on to mask any lingering doubts Bill may be harboring as to how he was handling the news. "D'ya know what name they decided on, then?" Might as well get the full story from any source he could. He doubted Nymphadora would be telling him anytime soon.
"You're on, mate. But you had better not be a prat and hold yourself back for ten bloody galleons, understood?" Sirius gave Bill a playful scuff on the shoulder.
"Is that the line you have rehearsed for the birds when they want to see the fabled Weasley secret? Have to hand it to you, Bill. I'd be impressed if I couldn't feel it either." Despite himself, Sirius couldn't help but snicker at his play on words. He was perpetually 35-going-on-15.
"Oh, no," said Bill, holding up his hands in defence. "You're not getting anything out of me. You want to know, you ask Dora yourself. It's a nice name though," he added. "Bet you'll like it." Maybe not the most subtle of manipulations, but seeing both of them so bloody miserable wasn't doing anyone any good, least of all themselves. Maybe curiosity would be enough to push Sirius in the right direction.
"Yeah, yeah, I won't," said Bill with a low laugh. "If I'm married in five years or less, you have my permission to curse me into next Sunday. Do me a favour and repeat all of the laundry and grocery shite, yeah?"
Bill rolled his eyes, though he was still laughing. "It's a proven fact redheads are better in bed than other hair colours. And the carpet does match the drapes, thank you very much. No reason to take your insecurities out on me though, mate - I'm sure you're doing just fine for a man of advanced years, even if you're just average."
"Manipulative much?" Sirius growled, but it was half-hearted at best. He knew better than to shoot the messenger, and despite how tempting it was to think otherwise, he knew Bill had good intentions. Right. "We'll see about that," he said and left it there. He wasn't making any promises.
Good thing they were still game for cracking the jokes on par with third years. Sirius slapped his knee as he laughed to the verge of tears. "Oh, kid, you're making this too easy -- you're begging for me to unleash the 'your mum' jokes, and that's one realm I don't want to start dipping my toes in with you."
He lifted his can, but this time for-- er, symbolism. "We both have big, fantastic pricks. There, I said it. Mine may be of advanced years and yours of the ginger variety -- which was, by the way, more information about your nether regions than I ever cared to know -- but we will end this nonsense before one of us gives in and says 'your mum' or the other pulls down their trousers. Truce, yeah?"
Bill let the bit about Dora and the baby go, figuring he'd said enough and frankly not wanting to deal with that headache anymore. That was Sirius' to figure out. His eyebrows shot up at the mention of 'your mum' jokes, however. "Really, Sirius? You'd go there? I bet Mum would find that fascinating," he teased. "Are we talking about the dirty ones, or were you just considering the insulting ones? Because really, there are certain mental images I'd never like to have, if that's all right with you."
Grinning ear-to-ear, Bill leaned back. "Truce? What are you, chicken? You know I'm right, don't you? And you're too chicken shit to admit it." He laughed, his whole body shaking. "Oh, please, what'd you think, that I was half-blond? But all right, if you admit you're a coward, I'll let you call a truce."
"Is what a bloke gets for showing a glimmer of benevolence?" Sirius sighed mournfully. "I was trying to be merciful, trying to give you a way out, trying to avert your footsteps from certain savagery. Yet, not only do you slam the window of opportunity shut, you double-bolt it and swallow the key. Frailty, thy name is Bill!"
Then, without further ado, Sirius tackled Bill to the floor and pinned him down because reckless behaviour and/or violence was the answer to every Gryffindor's accusation.
If Sirius thought he was going to tackle Bill and be done with it, he had another thing coming. The eldest of six boys and a girl who could hold her own, Bill was well-versed in wrestling. Still, getting tackled wasn't something he'd been expecting, so Sirius had the upper hand - for now.
"Argh!" he half-gasped, half-laughed. Oh, hell. "Frailty my arse. You, Sirius Black, have just made a huge mistake." Using a sweeping motion with his leg, he attempted to knock Sirius' knee out from under him, using brute strength to try to flip him over and pin him down instead. Even if Bill didn't want to admit it, they were fairly evenly matched for strength and size, and it was harder turning the tables on Sirius than it was with his brothers. "Least I know - you like being - on top," he joked through gritted teeth as he mentally chastized himself for slacking off on working out for the past few months.
"Oomf!" was the sound that left Sirius when Bill, slithery bloke that he was, flipped him one. Sirius barked a breathless laugh. He hadn't wrestled someone, not even James or Harry, in ages. But he still remembered a thing or two.
Scissoring his legs, Sirius wrapped them around Bill and, tapping into his own brute force, barrelled over so he was back on top. The manuerving left him more fatigued than he cared to admit. Bill was no watery tart. "I don't mind - bottoming every now - and then," Sirius quipped, grinning like a chesire cat.
Bill let out a growl, albeit one he didn't quite mean, when Sirius flipped him back over. Dammit. Still, he grinned back. "Clearly not often though," he joked. "Looks like you've still got a few moves left in you, old man. Not too shabby. Now geroff me so I don't have to kick your arse or give you an injury. 'Sides, pizza's getting cold."
"Sorry, did you say something? All I heard was the prattling of a loser sore in the cheeks," Sirius teased good-naturedly, releasing Bill and pushing himself to his feet. Deciding to act with some grace, he stuck out a hand to help Bill up. "C'mon, mate. I'll see if you can kick an old man's arse after we have our scoff."