InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Welcome to the O.Z."

Maryanne Elizabeth Walker (maryanne_walker) wrote in compass_network,
@ 2013-07-23 23:59:00

Entry tags:

!open, maryanne walker (oe), ~clint barton (comic)

Ugh I forgot tonight was Werewolf night. So... anyone else that was hunting after dark please vacate the woods ASAP. And I see that George didn't do a notification.

As for me. I'm gonna chill in the meadow. Because this is where I was one year ago today when the Train kicked my pregnant ass off. But tonight I'm counting my blessings and not Raging at the Machine that put me here.

Edit: Also, Clint, darling, sugarbutt. The most awesome Special Friend I've ever had. If you don't answer this I might have to come hunt you down. Though I wouldn't mind you becoming fuzzy and bity once a month, seeing what George and Nina go through I'm pretty sure that's not something you would want to do.

Or you know, if he doesn't read this, anyone that's seen him in the city since the bad moon rose over the horizon, I will totally glomp you when I get back in the morning, if you say so. Or point him this way.

Edit 2:By this way I mean the post, not the meadow.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	maryanne_walker 2013-07-24 05:48 am UTC (link)
	Do you want to? You could use my truck... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	like_a_hawk 2013-07-24 05:55 am UTC (link)
	No. ~~I can't~~ ~~When I'm not~~ I need to stay inside. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	maryanne_walker 2013-07-24 06:21 am UTC (link)
	Okay. If you change your mind the keys are dangling off the gun rack over the back window. It's the big bright orange one with the rebel flag across the back window. ~~And on the roof. And the horn may or may not have the General Lee Dixie horn...~~ If not, I'll come see you in the morning? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	like_a_hawk 2013-07-24 06:23 am UTC (link)
	You don't need to come here Mary. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	maryanne_walker 2013-07-24 06:28 am UTC (link)
	Oh. Okay. I'll see you around then. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne like_a_hawk 2013-07-24 06:36 am UTC (link)
	I don't need anyone to take care of me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint maryanne_walker 2013-07-24 06:43 am UTC (link)
	I never said you did. I imagine you did just fine before I was ever even a thought in anyone's head. ~~Not that I ever was, but~~ Why does me coming to see you, or you coming to see me, have to be about being taken care of? I can't want to see you because I like to? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint like_a_hawk 2013-07-24 06:50 am UTC (link)
	Because, if not for pity, why else would anyone want to be around me right now. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Maryanne | Clint

maryanne_walker
2013-07-24 07:03 am UTC (link)

Because you make me feel like I've lost my mind. You're all I think about. In every little spare moment I have of my day. Pity doesn't play into it at all.

I close my eyes and I see your face. I can raise my head right now into the breeze and pick out your scent over everything else. I lay here in the grass and I don't even have to think that hard and I can feel your touch. Where is pity in that?

~~Please don't make me~~

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint like_a_hawk 2013-07-24 10:43 pm UTC (link)
	You know I couldn't talk to you anymore right? Why would you want that? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint maryanne_walker 2013-07-25 12:44 am UTC (link)
	Why couldn't you talk to me anymore? And saying something doesn't always have to involve words. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint like_a_hawk 2013-07-25 01:18 am UTC (link)
	I wouldn't know what you were trying to say to me, I can't answer you. I can promise, writing notes gets old fast. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Maryanne | Clint

maryanne_walker
2013-07-25 01:33 am UTC (link)

I'm going to tell you a story. It's a true one, but it's relevant but it's also one I don't like talking about. I was in this relationship once, and I can count on one hand with at least a finger left how many relationships I've been in though... that's not relevant. Anyway. In the said relationship a day would pass and we wouldn't speak a single word to each other. We didn't have too. Some days it was only three words that would be said. But we didn't pass a single note between us, and I knew when he wanted to say something without actually saying it.

There are ways around you not being able to hear me. If I wanted to say something to you that was important or profound I'd make sure you got the message.

But. If you aren't interested in all that I need to know. Before I get in too deep. ~~I probably already~~

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint like_a_hawk 2013-07-25 02:29 am UTC (link)
	I just...why me? I'm god knows how much older than you, I'm damaged, inside and out, I really don't have much to offer and I was a terrible husband the last time I tried. You know you could do better right? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Maryanne | Clint

maryanne_walker
2013-07-25 03:03 am UTC (link)

Instead of quoting Elizabeth Browning, I think I'll go with this instead:

First: Do you think age matters to me? There's only one guy that I've even looked at twice that was younger than me, and we both know how well that went. Everyone else has always be older than me. Some more that twice my age. Does me being so much younger bother you?
Second: I don't think anyone from our corner of the universe ever escapes anything undamaged. You can't see my scars because when I shift my body doesn't hold wound memory. Except for the three scars on my back and those aren't from our universe. You understand me without me having to explain. Or I feel like you do. I want to be like that for you.
Third: I've never had anything in my life, and I've learned to live with that. You give me warmth when I'm cold, you make me laugh when I want to cry, and you often make me want to rip your clothes off when I want to rip someone's face off. What more can a girl ask for?
Fourth:No one says we have to be husband and wife. We can just be. I've been married once, I'm not entirely sure I want to do it again. But I'd still cook breakfast for you in the morning. And wash your spandex.

So as far as I see it I don't think I can do better. My heart wants what it wants. And she's a damn stubborn bitch.

As you can see, I'm pretty deep already. So I'll ask again. Do I need to try and dig my way out?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint like_a_hawk 2013-07-25 03:14 am UTC (link)
	No, you don't. Sorry. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint maryanne_walker 2013-07-25 03:31 am UTC (link)
	Why are you sorry? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint like_a_hawk 2013-07-25 03:55 am UTC (link)
	That it all went this way. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint maryanne_walker 2013-07-25 04:28 am UTC (link)
	It's not like it turned out bad. You don't want me to dig out. That's something? I wish there were something I could do so that you weren't so self conscious about your hearing. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint like_a_hawk 2013-07-25 04:39 am UTC (link)
	There's nothing to do about it, it's always been a weakness, now it's just worse. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint maryanne_walker 2013-07-25 04:51 am UTC (link)
	Usually when you lose one sense the others compensate. So it doesn't have to be a bad thing unless you want it to be. And this battery thing is probably just temporary, unless you have an Xgene that's suddenly decided to rear its head. Do you know sign language? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint like_a_hawk 2013-07-25 04:59 am UTC (link)
	My eyes can't really get any better, it's already a near physical impossibility to see the way I do without some kind of enhancement or mutation and there's only so much good being able to feel things can help in the field. How long do these things last? Yeah. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Maryanne | Clint

maryanne_walker
2013-07-25 05:10 am UTC (link)

Hey in your field maybe hearing would be a hindrance rather than being helpful, I can't tell you how many times I saw Robin whisper something in Marian's ear and throw her aim completely off. But feeling things can help you in other places rather than the field. What about your sense of smell? And Taste?

Two weeks, usually, but Annie's been human for ~~over~~ a month. So it's hard to say.

How much? I mean I don't know a whole lot... But one of Laura's kids was deaf, and I learned a few things so I could talk to him in person when he was here.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint like_a_hawk 2013-07-25 05:35 am UTC (link)
	I'd be more distracted thinking someone was close. I can usually talk fine while I'm shooting. I haven't really noticed anything that different there. Right. Thanks. I know enough to communicate with someone who knows it pretty well. That was real nice of you. ~~It's isolating when no one else~~ (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Maryanne | Clint

maryanne_walker
2013-07-25 06:06 am UTC (link)

That's where feel comes in, the shift of the breeze. It's like... malicious things can change the air, almost. We'll have to test the others. Maybe make it... fun?

If it worries you, Bruce has a sample of my X gene and Laura's in his lab from the other Bruce. So he'd be able to tell you if it's that.

I'm going to ask her to teach me more so I'm a little more fluent. ~~I think watching your hands will be~~

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Maryanne | Clint -

like_a_hawk, 2013-07-26 05:12 am UTC

Maryanne | Clint -

maryanne_walker, 2013-07-26 05:31 am UTC

Maryanne | Clint -

like_a_hawk, 2013-07-26 06:51 am UTC

Maryanne | Clint -

maryanne_walker, 2013-07-26 07:12 am UTC

Maryanne | Clint -

like_a_hawk, 2013-07-26 08:11 am UTC

Maryanne | Clint -

maryanne_walker, 2013-07-26 08:35 am UTC

Maryanne | Clint -

like_a_hawk, 2013-07-26 08:51 am UTC

Maryanne | Clint -

maryanne_walker, 2013-07-26 09:07 am UTC

(Read comments) -