InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Life is pain."

Jay Gatsby (gatz) wrote in compass_network,
@ 2013-07-10 20:00:00

Entry tags:

~hansel, ~jason murphy, ~john mitchell (oe)

Greetings, fellow residents of The Island.

There have been many deaths and disappearances here lately, as well as many new arrivals. And now, of course, many of us find ourselves literally tied to another person. I feel as though the Island is trying to teach us something, and in many ways, we are failing the lesson.

We're all in this together. If we can try to put aside our personal prejudices and work with one another, learn each other's strengths- I think that we can really make a go of this. I'm a hopeless optimist, I know, it's well documented.

But, let me start. I'm willing to be honest with everyone here, and I really hope that you will consider returning the gesture.

My name is Jay Gatsby. And there is the first lie. I changed my name when I was seventeen, choosing the name Jay Gatsby because it is- what I would consider more American, whereas my birth name always singled me out as a Jew. My name is James Gatz, or Jimmy Gatz. I was born in 1890, and I am now 32. Although when I arrived on this island I was already a millionaire at home, I am from humble beginnings. My parents are Eastern European immigrants, and I grew up on an unsuccessful farm in North Dakota with absolutely nothing.

As I say, I left at seventeen and changed my name. I worked for a millionaire, sailing around the world, collecting jewels- he taught me everything I know, including how to behave like a gentleman. Unfortunately, I was cheated out of his inheritance by some technicalities, so I ended up back where I began.

Then came the Great War. Some of you seem to know this as World War 1, which suggests there have been others, but I know nothing of that. I was a commissioned officer in the war, a machine gunner, and every allied government gave me a declaration.

As a solider, I met a nice girl- or someone who I thought was a nice girl- named Daisy Buchanan. Many of you on this island judge her harshly based on a novel, and I have judged her harshly myself. But I can tell you that I loved her, and she loved me back. But you see, I was penniless and a Jew, so she could not marry me, even though she wanted to. By the time I returned from the war, she was married to a wealthy man- a woman-beating racist, as it happens. And I wanted her to leave him, and be with me, so I turned myself into the type of gentleman that she could marry. Gatsby not Gatz, millionaire not penniless.

I made my millions illegally as a sort of bootlegger. I ran a series of drug stores selling bootlegged alcohol over the counter, and it wasn't always- decent work.

I had an affair with Daisy- although truthfully, it didn't feel as though I was the Other Man until the end. In our hearts, we were the ones who should be married, but society was different then.

I was murdered, I was shot in the back, and when I woke up, I was on this island.

As for what I can do to contribute to this island- I can farm. Although my family weren't successful, it was due to the dry earth, not a lack of skill. I can make alcohol. I can mix cocktails. I throw a brilliant party, really. I am capable of doing any form of manual labour- construction, cleaning, driving- anything you need help moving or fixing- I can certainly give it a try. I can fire a gun, I can hunt, I can teach you the Charleston. I can teach you to swim. I can teach Hebrew.

I have a car here if anyone needs a ride. I have a swimming pool that you can all feel free to use at any time, although please take care of yourselves and each other. I have a large house, with many rooms, many clothes and a library of books- anything you need, just ask, it's yours. I have a hydroplane, if it is helpful with search and rescue.

If there is anything you want to know about me, or if there is anything you want to request of me, ask away. I spent so much of my life trying to be someone else, trying to be what a rich girl's family expected of me, that I had forgotten who I really was. I don't want that anymore, I want to be an open book here. I won't judge anyone, and I hope that I won't be judged for being honest with you all now.

Now, if you like, it's your turn.

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gatz
2013-07-10 08:12 pm UTC (link)

I have many weaknesses, I apologise if focusing on my strengths was a mistake.

Everyone has prejudices, this is true. But prejudices are often caused by a lack of knowledge or understanding. That is why I decided to share. I'm not looking for any pity, or- maybe I look too much to the past, but I am trying to explain what I can do to help now. Perhaps I ought to have left out the personal background part.

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turukano
2013-07-10 08:18 pm UTC (link)

No, of course not. There is no mistake in your choice of words. It is only my perception. It takes a particular strength to admit one's weaknesses, and faults, and to readily attempt to change them. Especially in the face of criticism. Call me coward, call me a weak man, and it will hurt my feelings for a moment. But I know the truth of those things and can admit yes, I am a coward in ways. Fighting over it wouldn't change the fact.

And, yes, you are right. We must learn of each other, but we cannot do so when we refuse to listen. I am old by all accounts, older than the recorded years of history since the birth of the Being called Christ, and I am stubborn as such and relatively set in my ways. That is a weakness of my own. And I know that, but getting others to understand and accept that has been difficult. And it has lead to fighting.

And in the same breath, we cannot expect each other to change overnight. Or in a year. Or even in a decade. We live by our own experiences, but yes, we must start somewhere.

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gatz
2013-07-10 08:25 pm UTC (link)

I see. Well, if it helps to know, then I am always willing to listen to the best of my ability. I know I am but a child compared to so many here, and I really hope to learn-

I have stayed out of the fighting because I dislike it, and because I know how it is to be made to feel unwelcome by others.

Of course. I don't expect that, I was just trying to start something of a dialogue. To let people know that- I'm here, and I want to work with them, help them- I just don't want anyone to feel that they can't approach me, no matter who they are or where they came from.

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turukano
2013-07-10 08:35 pm UTC (link)

I think it best to encourage others to listen, as well. I have been told to try to understand humans, as I don't know much about them, admittedly. But I don't see encouragement of humans to try to understand me. Except, of course, you now offering to listen.

I don't know what I would tell you that has any bearing on the community efforts here, or that would encourage communication. I don't know what I have to offer that I have not already done. I don't know that I want to try anymore.

I found a policy of silence like yours to be the best option, and to simply exist away from it.

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gatz
2013-07-10 08:39 pm UTC (link)

Well, I can try. It's not as simple as telling you to understand humans- goodness, we have a hard enough time understanding each other most of the time. I just think- we have to understand that our differences can also be our strengths.

You don't have to offer anything, that's up to you.

But if you ever have a request to make of me, I'll do what I can. Be assured.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	turukano 2013-07-10 08:40 pm UTC (link)
	we have to understand that our differences can also be our strengths. That is very wise of you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	gatz 2013-07-10 08:41 pm UTC (link)
	Well, thank you. It is merely an observation. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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