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Tweak says, "bring out your dead!"

Elenwë of the Vanyar (vanya_elenwe) wrote in compass_network,
@ 2013-04-21 13:59:00

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I am only curious. And do not feel you have to answer, if you do not wish to do so.

My question concerns those of you who have had old loves show up here, or those of you who have shown up in this place and found your loves with someone else. This is...strange to me, as I have explained before, but that is not what this is about.

I wonder only how many of you still loved the other when you arrived here? And how long you have been here. And how you replaced them so easily.

And also, do any of you have loves back home that you have remained faithful to?

[OOC: Trigger warning. Mentions of rape in comments]

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Elenwe

greywhite
2013-04-21 11:34 pm UTC (link)

I didn't think you would, since it's the only option in your world. I take it by the marriage act you mean sex, no it's not the same, and trust me sleeping with four men when you're almost 30 is nothing in my world, and I realise saying that is only supporting your theory about us, but it's really not like that. There is no such thing as one true love, so you have to try and find someone you will fall in love with.

Thank you, and I really am sorry. I'm just so sick of this place and being judged for things.

I don't know, I honestly don't. I wish I did. I was 18 when I met Lex, I was basically a child and it was based on lust at first, but it became more, even when he became a werewolf leaving him didn't even cross my mind, because it didn't matter, he was still Lex. But with Malcolm it was completely different, it wasn't about lust, it was about his personality, his intellect. It was...deeper than it had been with Lex, I suppose. I didn't just want to sleep with him, I just wanted to listen to what he had to say, what he'd done, his opinions on everything. Losing Lex was terrible, but losing Malcolm as well was the last straw. And don't tell Lex any of this. I've hurt him enough for a number of life times.

You don't get a lot of happiness here, which is why I so fiercely try to defend it.

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Grey

vanya_elenwe
2013-04-21 11:46 pm UTC (link)

How strange! I am nearly twenty-five hundred years old and I have only been with one man. And will never be with another.

I do not wish to judge. But I am...frightened here. There is so much I do not understand. So much. And I wish to understand it, I wish to understand your type and your people, but it is such a strange culture.

Then...that is all I was trying to say. Malcolm is the one for you, not Lex. Although I wonder why Ilúvatar would create a race that is doomed to suffer such pain.

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Elenwe

greywhite
2013-04-21 11:52 pm UTC (link)

Jesus! That's so old it makes my head hurt.

I reckon we all are. Like I said we're not all the same, that's the main thing. I hate humanity generally speaking - the things they do to each other, so even understanding one section of it means nothing, plus there are so few humans here I'm not sure how much it would help, but honestly? I want to help, but it's really not that easy, some things can't be explained, they just happen.

But it wasn't really a choice I made. I hate what I've done to Lex. And I don't think he did. I don't even believe in God. Different universes, you know?

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	Re: Elenwe vanya_elenwe 2013-04-21 11:55 pm UTC (link)
	Nor is evil confined to one race. My people have done plenty of it, as well. And it has caused us much grief. Nay, love is not a choice, indeed. And I suppose it is easier not to believe in the Valar when you haven't met them. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Elenwe greywhite 2013-04-21 11:58 pm UTC (link)
	I know, which is why I try to judge people on what they're like rather than their species. So perhaps you should stop trying to understand it. I'm pretty bloody sure he doesn't exist where I'm from. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Grey vanya_elenwe 2013-04-22 12:01 am UTC (link)
	They. I believe you would call them gods. And they were at my wedding. Perhaps. But maybe understanding you would help me to understand myself. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Elenwe greywhite 2013-04-22 12:04 am UTC (link)
	In your universe. Is that how all weddings are, or are you special? What are you trying to understand, exactly? Because if it's love you're kind of screwed. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Elenwe

vanya_elenwe
2013-04-22 12:07 am UTC (link)

Not all, nay. My wedding was much bigger than ever I wanted.

I was but the fourth daughter of a minor noble - indeed, I could not tell you our noble connections. But my husband is a direct descendent of a noble line. The grandson of High King Finwë!

That is why they were there. He was the first of his generation to marry.

Love is strange and confusing, aye. Perhaps I should not try.

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	Elenwe greywhite 2013-04-22 09:53 am UTC (link)
	Right, okay. I don't think anyone understands any of it, if that makes you feel any better. This thing about understanding yourself better though - I mean you have absolutely no reason to tell me considering the circumstances but is something making you question the whole one true love thing? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Elenwe vanya_elenwe 2013-04-22 06:02 pm UTC (link)
	Personally?! Oh, Valar, nay. I...I could not possibly explain, even to another of my own kind, how deep my love for my husband is. Or what he means to me. Or how precious that sense of knowing is. He is...everything to me, and I to him. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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