InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "shika, shika, bang bang!!!"

Elenwë of the Vanyar (vanya_elenwe) wrote in compass_network,
@ 2013-04-21 13:59:00

Entry tags:

!open

Filtered to Adults
I am only curious. And do not feel you have to answer, if you do not wish to do so.

My question concerns those of you who have had old loves show up here, or those of you who have shown up in this place and found your loves with someone else. This is...strange to me, as I have explained before, but that is not what this is about.

I wonder only how many of you still loved the other when you arrived here? And how long you have been here. And how you replaced them so easily.

And also, do any of you have loves back home that you have remained faithful to?

[OOC: Trigger warning. Mentions of rape in comments]

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	lexwinter 2013-04-21 10:37 pm UTC (link)
	And I already told you; I'm not human. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vanya_elenwe 2013-04-21 10:37 pm UTC (link)
	Mortals, then. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lexwinter 2013-04-21 11:01 pm UTC (link)
	So all mortals are alike in your opinion? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vanya_elenwe 2013-04-21 11:03 pm UTC (link)
	In my limited experience, I see little difference. I should be glad to be proven wrong. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lexwinter
2013-04-21 11:22 pm UTC (link)

Well that's the point. Your experience is limited. You don't know me. You don't know Grey. Your basis for judging us is what we've chosen to write on a public message board which, if you didn't know, probably isn't our deepest, darkest feelings. How do you know I'm so different from you? How do you know that my love isn't lost forever now (Grey, I know you're reading this and I know this is awkward ~~because it's true~~ but please don't turn it into a massive issue) that Grey and I have broken up? How do you know that I'm gonna get a second chance? Because, I'll tell you what, it doesn't fucking feel like it right now.

And that's the point I was making earlier. I really don't want to be having this conversation right now. My head really hurts, my heart really hurts, I feel like vomiting my guts up from the amount of vodka I've drunk this weekend but, for some reason - maybe I'm just masochistic - I actually can't stop myself reading this, even though it's making things ten times worse for me.

Your timing sucks. The fact that you ignored my subtle hint to perhaps save this for a later date is bad enough but then you go and belittle how crap I'm feeling by telling me, essentially, that I'll get over it. Not only is that rude, it's hurtful too.

I'm not fickle and I really doubt I'm gonna just forget about Grey like you seem to think I'm going to. I've loved one girl in my whole life, just like you've had one love, so could you just back the fuck off and let me grieve for losing that love in peace for, I don't know, maybe a little longer than two days before carrying on with your quest for knowledge?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

vanya_elenwe
2013-04-21 11:25 pm UTC (link)

I have no desire to cause you pain. If I have been less sensitive than I should have been it is because I have been angry at the way I have been treated in this post and I am sorry for that.

I think it best for you to stop reading this post.

I am sorry that it brings you pain, but there will never be a time I can post it when it will not hurt someone. Do you see?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lexwinter
2013-04-21 11:36 pm UTC (link)

Okay, so why didn't you just take this post down as soon as I intimated that it was hurting me?

And, if you've been treated badly in this post, it's because the whole thing, the fact that you thought it was actually okay to post it in the first place, is so completely misjudged that it's provoked an automatic backlash from all the people whose feelings have been trampled on in the last few days.

But I'm just repeating myself now, and you're clearly not understanding what I'm saying, so I'm just going to stop. All I will say, sure, "someone" might be hurt whenever you post something provocative but, right now, I think it's pretty obvious that a lot of people will get hurt by it. So either you're aiming to upset as many people as possible, or you really do just have absolutely no understanding of anyone else's emotions. Only you can ever really know which. Either way, that's something you might what to look at before trying to fathoms the mysteries of other people.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vanya_elenwe 2013-04-21 11:39 pm UTC (link)
	Or perhaps I am simply as unlikable as I am beginning to feel. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lexwinter 2013-04-22 12:40 am UTC (link)
	And that isn't what I said at all. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vanya_elenwe 2013-04-22 01:37 am UTC (link)
	Nay, I know. I am only feeling sorry for myself, and I should not. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lexwinter 2013-04-22 01:42 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, I think a lot of people are right now. Tensions are running high. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vanya_elenwe 2013-04-22 01:44 am UTC (link)
	There is too much pain in the world, by far. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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