InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "gimme cheese... and ham..."

Brynhild Ingouf (brynhild_ingouf) wrote in compass_network,
@ 2020-05-23 02:53:00

Entry tags:

brynhild, jacob frye, miguel o'hara, zatanna

Would anyone be terribly offended if I dubbed the station Texas?

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	backwardstalk 2020-05-23 09:44 am UTC (link)
	I'm so, so sorry. Looking is fine, but then you have to deal with the rest of him and that's just too high a price to pay more than once or twice a year. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	brynhild_ingouf 2020-05-23 09:51 am UTC (link)
	I should probably stitch my thighs closed. I don't know. I like him, he's a good friend. I don't know if he'd say the same, but I don't regret anything. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

backwardstalk
2020-05-23 10:01 am UTC (link)

I've contemplated that... The last time I was on a space station with an ex or two come to think of it, but we weren't trapped there.

I'm a bit miffed at him right now, but if John wasn't a good man I wouldn't have stayed his friend for so long. I find it's still easier to deal with him in small doses though, otherwise you get used to the ego and make bad decisions. Like letting him into your house again after he broke in and soiled the place while drunk.

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	brynhild_ingouf 2020-05-23 10:48 am UTC (link)
	Oh good, I'm not alone. Or I'm sorry I'm not alone? See the bad part is I wouldn't mind adding to the number, I mean, not that I'd purposely make them an ex, I just have self destructive tendencies. See I like the ego, and I supply the booze. He's saved me from myself more times than I can count. And nearly gotten himself killed doing it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	backwardstalk 2020-05-23 03:42 pm UTC (link)
	Are we talking full-on relationships? Because if it's not and if it's just a one or two night thing, or even just a sex only situation I don't see anything wrong with that. We've all got needs. He's got a knack for that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	brynhild_ingouf 2020-05-24 01:23 am UTC (link)
	I don't know. I'm not sure I can do monogamy right. It isn't exactly good for the other person to try and fail. I can't resent him. ~~I can resent being a vampire.~~ (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

backwardstalk
2020-05-24 01:47 am UTC (link)

I think the key there is being upfront. Honesty, all that. It might help it hurt a little less, or at least it does for me.

I could be unkind and say give it time, but honestly that would be awful no matter what your relationship with him was like. I can say it took me a long time to forgive him, and a longer time to accept that what happened wasn't his fault. It was worthwhile though, and while he still gets on my nerves, I can't say I resent him either.

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	brynhild_ingouf 2020-05-24 03:11 am UTC (link)
	I've tried to be honest since coming here. It's made me soft. May I ask what happened? Or is that too personal? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	backwardstalk 2020-05-24 03:47 am UTC (link)
	You sound like John, he's said the same. My father was killed, sacrificed himself to save me when The Great Evil Beast tried to interfere with John's seance. He wasn't the only sorcerer that died during the seance, but he was the only one who wasn't supposed to be there. He didn't trust John with me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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brynhild_ingouf
2020-05-24 04:05 am UTC (link)

Living in my world was harder, I had to be harder, I had to hide what I am for much of twelve hundred years and suspect everyone. It has only been in the recent decades that supernatural beings had come to light. Not that that's been any fun to deal with. The only ones that have been this truth has been kept from are my two biological daughters, because I couldn't handle that sort of rejection. It's been nice, not to have to glamour someone for blood, or feed off of someone because it's a fetish. I didn't even bite John once, it was nice.

I'm sorry, had I known... I would have offered to take another demon's head while we were in Hell.

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backwardstalk
2020-05-24 04:18 am UTC (link)

You don't have to make yourself vulnerable when you're honest, at least not on every occasion, but I understand. I imagine he is grateful though, given how he tends to feel about that sort of thing.

I personally made certain that my father was able to cross over completely after a regrettable time in hell when his soul was trapped. Helping him move on has helped me move on, especially when it comes to forgiving John.

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	Private brynhild_ingouf 2020-05-24 04:51 am UTC (link)
	I don't know how to not be vulnerable when I'm honest, it makes me feel more vulnerable than when I'm naked. Well, it was one of the two stipulations of us sleeping together that I kept. Still, should we ever have the chance again, I'll do the same for you as I did for him. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Private backwardstalk 2020-05-24 05:37 am UTC (link)
	Selective honesty then? I'm not much better at it. Vulnerable is an awful feeling. Thank you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Private brynhild_ingouf 2020-05-24 05:42 am UTC (link)
	I'm fine with being honest and naked. I'm deadly either way, but I don't know how to not be soft and honest. You don't have a fate like his, do you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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backwardstalk
2020-05-24 05:53 am UTC (link)

I would say distance helps, but it really doesn't.

Like my father's? Or like John's? I can't really say. I've never been tempted to look. For a long while, I kept getting told I was going to die for John or that I was going to lay down my life for the League. If it is a natural death then it will have to wait nearly a thousand years, my people can live a very long time. As for hell, well, John has tried his best to make sure my soul hasn't been claimed, but my father's wasn't. His soul was trapped by a demon as he was trying to pass into the afterlife, I am much more well known to demonkind than he was. For the moment they seem more interested in possessing me than taking my soul.

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	Private brynhild_ingouf 2020-05-24 07:12 am UTC (link)
	I'll just have to form a thicker skin, probably. But the question is, do I want to? How old are you now? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Private backwardstalk 2020-05-24 07:33 am UTC (link)
	A difficult question. Let me know when you figure it out. I recently turned 35. I met John when I was 18, I'm not certain if that's physically aged me or not. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Private brynhild_ingouf 2020-05-24 10:25 am UTC (link)
	If I don't John's going to stay busy. But if I do there is a high probability that I'll be alone for the rest of my life. Well you look marvelous. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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backwardstalk
2020-05-24 06:11 pm UTC (link)

At least if he's busy with you and Gen he can't get into too much trouble, I say like I haven't watched him burn his life down more than once.

As for being alone, I've essentially made that choice. It is largely the right one for me but it isn't for everyone. If it isn't what you want then you're going to have to do something about it, even if it's hard. I think you already know that though.

Thank you. You're quite incredible yourself.

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	Private brynhild_ingouf 2020-05-24 08:28 pm UTC (link)
	I'd rather he be busy with Gen, his chance at happiness. I thought I had made the choice too. I had my first try at monogamy since I became a vampire and it screwed that choice up. Thank you. I'm sorry that you have to live so long. It's not fun. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Private backwardstalk 2020-05-24 09:00 pm UTC (link)
	I do wish him luck, and that he doesn't get in his own way when it comes to her and the chance he has. I'm sorry. I likely won't, not with the life I live and with the giant target on my back. But there are a few people, my father included, who died so that I might go on. I feel like I owe it to them to do as much good as I can before my end comes. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Private brynhild_ingouf 2020-05-25 02:58 am UTC (link)
	I... did talk to her. Told her it's going to be work, but he's worth it. I only hope she'll listen. If only I had known I would have a weakness for the smell of Silk Cut and Gin. What you need is a look-a-like that knows how to fight just as well as you do. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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backwardstalk
2020-05-25 03:15 am UTC (link)

She's very sweet. ~~Loving John never gets easier, you should know that~~

You should have seen him in the mohawk, punk jacket, cheap beer and scent of stale vomit phase. Whenever I need to deflate my ego a little I remind myself that I excitedly did tantric magic with that.

I can make duplicates of myself, no problem. I do it quite a lot really, unfortunately, my magic lights up like a beacon if someone is looking for it. And even more unfortunately I can't synchronicity wave travel the way John does so I'm largely on my own.

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	Private brynhild_ingouf 2020-05-25 04:46 am UTC (link)
	She is. They seem like they would be good for each other. Oh the things I didn't know.... You know he's probably cursing the fact that we're talking right now. Duplicates are different with everyone that can make them. Do you feel their pain? Do they return to you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Private backwardstalk 2020-05-25 05:03 am UTC (link)
	I really hope he's sweating at the thought of it, he's had it coming for a while. They're more like projections, though they can be solid enough if I focus. It all depends on how much concentration I'm using and how many duplicates I want there to be. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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backwardstalk, 2020-05-26 03:52 am UTC

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