Tweak

InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Tweak is my name. "

Samir Marcus (night_song) wrote in compass_network,
@ 2013-01-08 02:36:00

Entry tags:

!open, maryanne walker (oe)

The fuck's going on?

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	aedwardstark 2013-01-08 01:38 am UTC (link)
	Depends what you mean exactly (Reply to this) (Thread)

	night_song 2013-01-08 01:40 am UTC (link)
	Heightened emotions that include, grief, shock and disbelief. Doubt it's from you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	aedwardstark 2013-01-08 01:42 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, those aren't from me. I wish I knew. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	night_song 2013-01-08 01:43 am UTC (link)
	It's okay. I'm going to get drunk. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	Filtered away from Mitchell maryanne_walker 2013-01-08 02:05 am UTC (link)
	Annie's gone. Mitchell's holding on, but... It doesn't look good. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Filtered away from Mitchell night_song 2013-01-08 02:15 am UTC (link)
	~~That's it?~~ Explains why I want to put a gun to my head. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Filtered away from Mitchell maryanne_walker 2013-01-08 02:43 am UTC (link)
	I'm not going to be able to do anything about how he feels but I'm trying to hold back my own. I'm afraid this is going to make him relapse. Do you know Sophia? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Filtered away from Mitchell night_song 2013-01-08 02:55 am UTC (link)
	If that is what is going to make him relapse, then he's pathetic. No. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Filtered away from Mitchell maryanne_walker 2013-01-08 03:04 am UTC (link)
	It's what big love does to you. If I lost Daryl... I wouldn't want humanity anymore either. Okay, I'll find someone to go tell her. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Filtered away from Mitchell night_song 2013-01-08 03:13 am UTC (link)
	Not everyone. Plenty of people in the fucking world grieve like normal people. I did. And then moved on. And if the man who's told me that wI brood too much can't even listen to his definition of how nrmal people should behave, then yes. What I said holds true. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Filtered away from Mitchell

maryanne_walker
2013-01-08 11:36 am UTC (link)

This is Annie, she might not have meant anything to you. But she meant something to a few people here. I can't think of one person on the train that wasn't touched by her kindness. Mitchell most of all.

And who said we were normal? I've never claimed to be normal. And I can't say I've ever said I was human, not since I changed.

He doesn't have the closure of killing what did this to her, in the most murderous way possible. So... He's grieving in his own way. Just like I will when I can afford to do it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Filtered away from Mitchell

night_song
2013-01-08 11:47 am UTC (link)

Fucking get real, Maryanne. I didn't know her. Henceforth, it's not that fucking difficult to understand that I don't care. People loved my mother - she touched everyone too. Am I asking you to grieve for her, lest you be a despicable human being? No.

So take your bark elsewhere, Maryanne.

Are you telling me that just because I didn't revenge my soulmate's death, I'm pathetic and weak? Fuck you.

And if Mitchell succumbs to his cravings, then yes - he really is stupid. And you - stop being so fucking bad ass when you really aren't. Because all you got is bark. You wouldn't last a whole two minutes in my world.

We're done.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Filtered away from Mitchell

maryanne_walker
2013-01-08 12:18 pm UTC (link)

I'm not asking you to grieve Annie, I'm telling you don't begrudge me or anyone else that wants to. That's our right. Just because you deprived yourself of how she was, it isn't our fault that you don't know what you missed out on.

Don't pretend to know what I've got, because you ain't seen it city boy.

I didn't say you were pathetic. Or weak. I just know what it feels like to crush the bones of the man who killed mine, when I avenged him. I know what it feels like to hear his murder's screams ripped from his throat. And it was music to my ears. But then maybe I'm just not as human as you are.

You don't know me, you don't know my story. So don't play like you do.

You're right, we are.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Filtered away from Mitchell

__q__
2013-01-08 12:47 pm UTC (link)

Well this is all getting a little bit heated and now is really not the time, is it?

I'm not here to pander or inflict a biased judgement on anything, but since death is something we're all going to have to deal with around here from this point onwards, when we're all less than six degrees apart from each other, it's probably ineffective for us to rent our frustrations and emotions out on each other.

Some of us may be rather annoyed with the abundance of grieving because it is awkward and not a practised method where we are from, and some of us might be a little put out by having to feel things we don't particularly want to feel at all, regardless of the circumstances. The difficult thing is that we have all had such vastly different experiences and we are crammed into a very small place where events like this are going to cause some friction. No one is better than anyone else, and no one should be debating the magnitude of one love over another. That is very not good.

I realise I'm sticking my nose in here and my opinion is probably no welcomed, but given the timing and the circumstances I think we should all consider the levels of our temperaments and the diversity of experiences. Now is certainly not the time to be squaring up and comparing past lives like a dramatic game of top trumps.

You're wasting your time on petty things when, apparently, even immortal people die. So there is little hope for the rest of us. Now please, both of you, go and have some tea and we'll sort out this rigmarole when things are more settled.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Filtered away from Mitchell

maryanne_walker
2013-01-09 11:24 am UTC (link)

I'm not asking him to grieve Annie, or Mitchell, or even show any emotion toward it at all. All I'm asking is for him not to be an asshole. Not for Mitchell, or for Annie, but for me. Because I don't need him to be an asshole, I need him to be my friend.

Because I'm trying my damnedest to keep it together for my friend, and I'm having a really really hard time with it. I need someone to pretend for five seconds that they care enough for me that they can lie to me and fucking tell me it'll be okay. Even though it's not.

I don't need someone to tell me I'm weak, that I couldn't stand up on my own if I wanted too. To act like that... I'm only worth so much dog shit on his boot. When up to this point that I've given and given and given, and not asked for anything in return.

I'm just asking, now, to lend me some strength because I'm running out. I'm not asking for the world.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	Samir __q__ 2013-01-08 12:49 pm UTC (link)
	I'm on my way over. And setting up camp at the end of your bed if necessary. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Q night_song 2013-01-08 12:51 pm UTC (link)
	I can't even fucking hold a cigarette. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Samir __q__ 2013-01-08 01:17 pm UTC (link)
	Then I'll hold it for you. Don't worry. It's going to be okay. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Q night_song 2013-01-08 01:26 pm UTC (link)
	I know. It's always done that. (Reply to this) (Parent)