InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Unlike you."

Jeremy Gilbert (lost_boy_jere) wrote in colligo_threads,
@ 2011-04-16 03:09:00

Entry tags:

jeremy gilbert

WHO: Jeremy and Anna
WHEN: After this
WHERE: Apartment 501C
WHAT: Jeremy wants to talk to Anna face to face
RATING: TBD
STATUS: In progress

Jeremy should have just stayed at home. He knew that. He should have stayed in his apartment, or, better still, gone to see his girlfriend. The fact that he was climbing the stairs to Anna's floor, going to see the one girl who rivaled in his affections, the one girl he had no will power around, was insanity, at best. But he wanted to see her, and not just because it was stupid to have an argument about feelings over text. He had things he needed to sort out with Vicki, but everything Anna had said had affected him deeply. He hadn't meant to hurt her. Hell, he hadn't even been expecting her to turn up. Perhaps if he'd known she was coming, he wouldn't have jumped into things with Vicki. But Vicki had been there for him when he'd been turned into a vampire. True, she'd made it harder for him, testing his self restraint to the limit. And, true, she'd wanted to drink his blood to get high, but on some level they loved and understood each other. Before, that had meant everything to Jeremy. Now, he wasn't sure it was enough. He had changed so much since he'd been that messed up kid who liked to hang around in cemeteries getting high and screw his sister's boyfriend's older sister. That wasn't who he was any more. He hated to think it, but he was better than that. And that was all Vicki was ever going to be. She had said it once, but he hadn't realised how true it was until recently. This place had brought to light all the differences between them and what they wanted. Jeremy knew he would always love Vicki. But it wasn't enough. At least, it didn't feel like it right now.

Jeremy mounted the top of the stairs and found the door to the first apartment - Anna's. He licked his lips, wondering if he should just leave now, without even knocking. That would have been stupid for two reasons though, he decided. 1) He'd text Anna to tell her he was coming. 2) She'd have been able to hear him coming up the stairs. If he left now, he'd look even more of a dick than he already did. So he knocked on the door and waited for a reply.

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notstalkingyou
2011-04-16 04:01 am UTC (link)

This really was a conversation that should happen in person. Text messages were not the ideal forum for the discussion of feelings and all that they entailed. But there was a reason Anna had not brought that up and she felt it was a good one. Texts were impersonal. They allowed her to give herself just a measure of distance, just enough that she did not feel like she was going to go mad. But if Jeremy was here, all of those feelings would be right there and so close for the taking. Anna did not just like Jeremy, it could not be that simple. She had been and still was willing to spend eternity with him. Of all the people she had turned in her very long lifetime, he was the only one she had wanted to because she could not bear the thought of living without him. Seeing him with another girl, knowing that the one thing she wanted she could not have, it was nearly unbearable.

But he wanted to talk in person so they would talk in person, despite her better judgement. Anna sat on the couch staring at her pda as she waited for him to make his way up the stairs. She heard him before he knocked, out in the hall. For a moment she just sat there, unsure if she should answer. If she stayed put eventually he would leave and they could avoid this for just a little bit longer.

Slowly Anna got up and made her way to the door. Unlocking it, she opened it and gave a weak, small smile. "Jeremy." she said, moving out of the way. "Come on in."

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lost_boy_jere
2011-04-16 04:17 am UTC (link)

Jeremy stared at the closed door for a moment. Anna was taking her time answering, and that couldn't be a good sign. Jeremy knew she could have been at the door and had it open in a matter of seconds if she'd wanted to.

This wasn't right. They shouldn't be like this. Anna had always made him laugh, and he hoped he'd made her happy too. There shouldn't be this dark cloud hanging over them. He desperately wanted to make that right again, but he knew it wasn't that simple. Whatever he decided, at least one person he loved was going to get hurt.

Jeremy could have dwelled on that point all day, but just then Anna opened the door and asked him inside. He paused for a moment, watching her half hearted attempt at a smile, before he stepped into her apartment. He really hated seeing her like this. She was strong, feisty, lovely, funny, lurky Anna. He couldn't stand the thought that he was bringing her down. He had to fix it.

Once he was inside, he turned back to face her. Despite the circumstances, he was, once again, so glad of her presence. He had missed her when she had died, but he missed her when he wasn't with her anyway. He had when they'd been dating. She would disappear for days, and he'd miss her like Hell before she came back and he could feel whole again. It was almost a shock to discover she still had that power over him, after everything.

"Please don't be pissed at me," he said weakly, his eyes wide as he looked over at her.