InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "My legs! Where are my legs?"

Kate Bennet (livingonlove) wrote in colligo_threads,
@ 2010-06-13 23:37:00

Entry tags:

!@event, !closed, gabriel 'sylar' gray, kate bennet

WHO: Kate Bennet and Gabriel "Sylar" Gray
WHAT: Sylar offered to tell Kate everything about her husband. She declined. He insisted.
WHEN: Not long after this.
WHERE: Kate's apartment
RATING: TBD
STATUS: In Progress

Kate had a headache. A pounding that had begun in her temples shortly after her arrival in this bizarre city and had since developed into a throbbing behind her eyes that made her want to cry and scream at the same time. However she didn't do either. Instead she calmly put down her PDA and made her way from the living room of the apartment she'd apparently been given, to the kitchen. After pouring herself a glass of water, she stood at the sink and stared at the blank wall in front of her for a few moments. While standing there, she tried not to think of anything at all. Especially any of the things she'd just been told by either Noah or the man known as Sylar.

She failed. Rather epically, in fact.

A few minutes later she gave up and simply accepted the fact that this wasn't something she could just put out of her mind. It was all too much, too fast, and while it was completely overwhelming it had also sparked within her a curiosity that was so strong it was almost tangible. Her own apparent death aside, as well as the discovery that there were people who could do things that no one should be capable of doing, she couldn't seem to shake the urge to find out everything she could about the man her husband had become. She knew that she would probably regret it. Noah had said himself that he had done things he wasn't proud of, things she couldn't like. Sylar had certainly confirmed that fact, and then some. However, Kate couldn't help it. She was a naturally curious person and, considering less than an hour earlier she would have sworn she knew Noah Bennet as well as she knew herself, she felt an almost compulsion to make that a truth once more.

She was waiting, though. Waiting for Noah to agree to meet somewhere so they could talk. She didn't care where they met - although she would admit that she had a slight preference to either this apartment or his as it offered privacy that they both would likely need - she just hoped it would be soon. Not just because of the things she wanted to ask, either. Because she was alone, in a strange city, and she was frightened. She didn't want to be alone. She wanted to be with the man that she loved. If they were back home, she would have sought him out by now. Kate was hardly the type to just sit around and wait for someone to come to her. And the only reason she wasn't doing that here was because, well, she didn't know where to find him.

That didn't mean she had to just sit in her apartment though, she realized a few seconds later. Her gaze flickered back to the device she'd been given by the knights in the library and she frowned in thought. Technically speaking Noah couldn't find her either. However with the PDA, they could stay in contact. So she didn't have to hang around and drive herself half-nuts with nothing to do but think about things. She could go out. Explore the city a bit, get her mind off of her troubles. She doubted there was much that would manage that, of course, but she decided it wouldn't hurt to try. And with that thought she was heading to the door to do just that... only to find herself face to face with perhaps the last person in all of Colligo that she wanted to see.

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inaworldsocold
2010-06-15 06:12 pm UTC (link)

"I did, and succeeded with a fair few of them," Sylar said, shaking his head. "But that was a different matter, really. I was half out of my mind when I went after Claire the first time. The second was just a matter of completing unfinished business, and I'm being quite honest when I say I was relieved when she didn't die. Meredith was really just a victim of circumstance, and Nathan..." Sylar paused, his features darkening for a moment as a hint of the brutality and vengefulness that he was keeping well masked leaking out. "I still say Nathan deserved it, no matter how many people might protest the idea. He ended up getting far more people killed with his purposeful incompetence and inconsiderate self-loathing than I ever laid a hand to."

Sylar took a slow, deep breath, composing himself as he turned his attention back to what he'd been doing, the work refocusing his mind from the rage inducing tangent and getting him back on track, "And I don't know what I'm trying to accomplish. Perhaps put across that there are two sides to every story. I know how he paints me, how he can and how he has, and I suppose I could have provided the alternative without practically forcing my way in and locking the door. But I've found that...well, most of the time, people don't listen to me if I'm not...direct."

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livingonlove
2010-06-17 02:38 am UTC (link)

Kate stared at him with an unreadable expression upon her face. She gripped her tea cup and forced herself to take a sip. It tasted bitter on her tongue but she swallowed, hard, before casting her eyes back upon him. "Two wrongs don't make it right," she stated simply. Setting her cup down, she laced her fingers and rested her palms on the counter.

"Okay, so what is your side?" she asked directly. Her gaze was unflinching as she stared at him. "You're here. I can't force you to leave. Why don't we set aside all of this and you just tell me whatever it is that you want me to know."

Her jaw trembled and she shook her head then cleared her throat. Her gaze fell to her tea, fingers wrapped back around the still-warm mug. "It doesn't matter what you say though," she added quietly. Looking back to him, she straightened in her seat a bit. "I love my husband. That isn't going to change, I don't care how much he supposedly has."

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inaworldsocold
2010-06-17 03:07 am UTC (link)

"No, no, they probably don't," Sylar said, frowning heavily. He remembered Claire and Peter's reactions when they realized that Nathan was dead, what had happened, and why. "But it seemed like the right thing to do at the time." Even if it didn't really seem like the greatest idea after he'd realized what sort of situation he'd caused for the rest of them.

Putting the meat that he'd cut up into another skillet to cook, Sylar turned back to the sink, washing his hands as he looked back up at Kate. "I didn't used to be like this," He said quietly. "I wasn't the sort of person who did things like what I did. And I needed help," He said, sighing. "I didn't do these things because I enjoyed them. I just...didn't have any other choice."

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livingonlove
2010-06-17 03:16 am UTC (link)

Kate's brow furrowed. "You have a choice now," she pointed out after a long pause. She tucked some of her hair behind her ear then folded her hands and dropped them into her lap. "No one is forcing you to do the things you're doing, are they? I realize you have a... compulsion, but I'm sure you can find a way to deal with it if you try hard enough."

She sounded calm. Reasonable. To her, it was obvious. "You've just given up," she pointed out. She took another sip of her tea; she eyed him over the top of the cup. "That's taking the easy way."

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inaworldsocold
2010-06-17 03:24 am UTC (link)

Sylar laughed. That was always the way, wasn't it? Try harder. Work harder. You're not good enough, never good enough, because you're just not trying hard enough. Sylar laughed again, a maniac broken sort of laughter as he leaned over the sink, bracing himself as the bitter amusement washed over him and then turned to abject sadness, the laughter fading vaguely into strangled sobs.

If only it were that simple... If only.

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livingonlove
2010-06-17 03:34 am UTC (link)

The laughter made her frown lightly. Then she realized it had taken on a new sound. Kate blinked in faint surprise then rose to her feet. She came around the edge of the counter before hesitating. Partially within the kitchen but not too close. "Are you..."

She stopped. That was a stupid question. Of course he wasn't okay. He was standing in her kitchen, potentially crying, and why? She wasn't sure what she'd said that could trigger such a reaction. She shook her head in confusion. "I'm sorry," she finally settled on. "It's really easy for me to say those things but, the truth is, I can't even really understand most of this. It's just so... much." She sighed softly and looked toward the ground.

"My husband likes Shakespeare. He likes poetry. He's soft spoken and intelligent and so much better than that car dealership where he works." Kate paused and offered a slightly sardonic smile. "That's the man I know as Noah Bennet. That shows how out of the loop I am. Which doesn't stop me from offering my opinion but... I really probably shouldn't since I really just don't get all of this."

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inaworldsocold
2010-06-17 03:47 am UTC (link)

This was ridiculous. He was being ridiculous. He didn't know why he had expected different results or for anyone who didn't get it to understand why people who did barely understood. Pushing himself back up off the sink, he shook his head, keeping his head bowed as he turned away from her and back to the stove. He had something to finish, something that he said he would do, and even if he couldn't get it to stop, he could do this.

"No," Sylar said softly. "It's not your fault. It's just... That's what everyone has always told me. Try harder. You're not managing it because you're not working hard enough. That's what they always say when they have...no idea what it's like. It's always my fault because no matter what's going on, it certainly couldn't be bad enough to drive someone to do the things that I've done if I didn't want to in the first place. It's always my fault when they don't even know."

Pausing as he listened to her description of Noah, Gabriel laughed, mostly out of disbelief. That wasn't Noah Bennet. In fact, that sounded more like...

"Almost sounds like you're describing me," He said, snorting. "Before all this."

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livingonlove
2010-06-17 01:21 pm UTC (link)

Kate's smile was a faint one but still present. "No one starts out bad," she stated quietly. She almost added that everyone had some good in them but she thought that might be going over the top a little. Just because she believed it didn't mean she had to say it. Instead she shook her head slightly and turned back to her tea.

"I believe you tried," she added after a second. Retaking her seat, she chewed absently at her lip for a minute. "I just think you've given up. For whatever reason, you can't seem to find that fight anymore." Her eyes shone with emotion as she gazed across the kitchen at him.

"I may not understand how hard it was for you but I do know that whatever you went through it can't be half as bad as going through this life, completely hopeless."

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inaworldsocold
2010-06-17 01:33 pm UTC (link)

"Imagine someone boring into your temple with a power drill, constantly, night and day, every second, no matter what you're doing. And you know that no matter how bad it gets, it's not going to kill you. It'll just get worse and worse and worse until you give it what it wants," Sylar sighed, pausing a long moment as he mixed the two pans together. "You can ignore it for so long, push it to the side, try and do things to make it not so bad, but it is never going to go away, no matter what you do. And the one morning, you wake up with it so bad that when you glance at the person laying next to you, someone that you love with your whole heart, that you contemplate, for a brief second, killing her just to be rid of it."

Turning the fire on the stove down, manually this time, Sylar turned to look back at her, the expression on his face a mix of pained regret and confusion, "Then... Then, even after nearly a year of being...being as close to normal as I get, killing a few random people seemed a decent enough price to pay."

Even if he had had to add Angela along with the rest in order to try and keep it under cover.

And even if he'd enjoyed it.

Though, the sympathy all fell apart if he told her that last bit.

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livingonlove
2010-06-19 12:16 am UTC (link)

There was certainly sympathy to be had, too. Kate was practically fit to bursting with it. Oh, she labored under no delusion that he was by any means good. However he clearly had tried. He'd just lost.

Picking up her tea once more, she took a sip then peered thoughtfully into the cup. "I don't know what the answer is," she said quietly. Her dark eyes cut back to him, shining with conviction. "But I do know that there is an answer." She shook her head and set her cup down, palms pressing flatly against the counter.

"I have learned things about people in the past few hours that I never knew existed. I've found myself on an alien planet, in the future, like something out of the Twilight Zone. If all of that is possible, then I firmly believe it is also possible for you to find the help you need." She offered him a small, slightly sorrowful smile. "In order to find it though, you can't just give up. Which, to me, sounds exactly like what you've done."

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inaworldsocold
2010-06-19 12:36 am UTC (link)

"Maybe," He said, though his words seemed less than convinced as he stirred the dish before leaving it, crossing to the fridge to root out a bottle of soy sauce and opened the cabinet next to the fridge to pull out a boil in the bag rice. Filling another pan with water, he set it on the stove to let it come to the boil so that he could toss the rice into it.

"Maybe I've given up because it's a lot easier than fighting it," Sylar said, looking over at her. "But there's only so long that a mind can stay sane while fighting."

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