InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "No place special."

Sam Winchester [Supernatural] (fireinthesoul) wrote in colligo_network,
@ 2011-03-05 06:02:00

Entry tags:

castiel, claire winchester, jo harvelle-wuornos, sam winchester

[Private]It's six o'clock in the morning, and I should be asleep. I want to be asleep. I don't want to be awake, but it's somehow more real when I'm asleep. I can see the dirt ceiling, I can smell the raw earth. I can feel it...all of it, every cut, every blow. I can hear him breathing, I can see the pulse throbbing against his neck when he bent over me, carving with his knife against my skin. I don't ever want to sleep again. I don't even want to close my eyes.

I don't hate him. I know, we all knew he was disturbed. I thought we were past it, but I should have known better. I don't think I took time enough to see him, have a beer with him, I didn't see him enough to see how unstable he still was. He's always put up a good front. I never expected this. Not ever. But he's still my brother, nothing can take that away from us. It's not in me to hate him, not him. Never him. [/Private]

[Friends]
I'm all right. I'm okay. Last night was rough, but Cas helped me and I'm home, I'm resting comfortably. I just want to thank you all for the thoughts, but don't give it another thought. It's the weekend, and the weather is beautiful. Go out there and enjoy it.

[Juno, in addition to the text above]
Hey. I'd like to see you? Just when ever you can.

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	Sam trenchcoat_angl 2011-03-05 04:56 pm UTC (link)
	That's assuring, but he should've known better. There's no excuse, Sam. He's still your brother. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Castiel fireinthesoul 2011-03-05 05:00 pm UTC (link)
	He's still my brother. Yes. And he's still the one person I would fight to defend, just as he would fight for me. In his mind, that's what he was doing. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Sam trenchcoat_angl 2011-03-05 05:07 pm UTC (link)
	Which still doesn't right his wrong. This can be discussed later. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Castiel

fireinthesoul
2011-03-05 05:11 pm UTC (link)

I'm not condoning what he did. I was there. And I remember everything, more or less. Eventually I...There's a point where I sort of blacked out and I don't remember. But if I even think for a second that I might be forgetting, all I have to do is close my eyes, or take a deep breath and it comes rushing right back again. I'm not going to forget, I'm not going to dismiss it. But I'm also not going to support retaliation. I want him left alone. His Cas can deal with him, no one else needs to be involved with that side of it.

Promise me, Castiel. Promise me you won't do anything.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Sam trenchcoat_angl 2011-03-05 05:18 pm UTC (link)
	I won't do anything nor will I go search for him ~~as should be done~~ But if I encounter him or he comes to me, don't expect me to be civil. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Castiel fireinthesoul 2011-03-05 05:30 pm UTC (link)
	That's fair. I just...I don't want things to get any worse, Cas. I just want...I want my brother to be okay. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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