InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Hello Reza"

Sam Winchester [Supernatural] (fireinthesoul) wrote in colligo_network,
@ 2011-03-05 06:02:00

Entry tags:

castiel, claire winchester, jo harvelle-wuornos, sam winchester

[Private]It's six o'clock in the morning, and I should be asleep. I want to be asleep. I don't want to be awake, but it's somehow more real when I'm asleep. I can see the dirt ceiling, I can smell the raw earth. I can feel it...all of it, every cut, every blow. I can hear him breathing, I can see the pulse throbbing against his neck when he bent over me, carving with his knife against my skin. I don't ever want to sleep again. I don't even want to close my eyes.

I don't hate him. I know, we all knew he was disturbed. I thought we were past it, but I should have known better. I don't think I took time enough to see him, have a beer with him, I didn't see him enough to see how unstable he still was. He's always put up a good front. I never expected this. Not ever. But he's still my brother, nothing can take that away from us. It's not in me to hate him, not him. Never him. [/Private]

[Friends]
I'm all right. I'm okay. Last night was rough, but Cas helped me and I'm home, I'm resting comfortably. I just want to thank you all for the thoughts, but don't give it another thought. It's the weekend, and the weather is beautiful. Go out there and enjoy it.

[Juno, in addition to the text above]
Hey. I'd like to see you? Just when ever you can.

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[ Claire ]

fireinthesoul
2011-03-05 04:36 pm UTC (link)

That's...okay. Yeah. I wish...No, I'll hurt my brain in the other direction if I let myself start thinking that. But I don't mind. I'd like him to be here.

Do you mind telling anyone else who doesn't know? I don't know if I can go through it anymore. Everytime...It just. I'm not blocking it out or anything, that's not healthy, but I don't want to think about it either.

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	[ Sam ] goallbuffyonus 2011-03-05 04:42 pm UTC (link)
	Good. I think he's needed. But I'm sorry it's hard, Sam. ~~I'm just so sorry about everythi~~ Of course. I can handle it. Do you need anything else? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[ Claire ] fireinthesoul 2011-03-05 04:54 pm UTC (link)
	No, I think that's... Juno. Has anyone talked to Juno? I don't want her finding out through a message on the boards. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[ Sam ] goallbuffyonus 2011-03-05 05:04 pm UTC (link)
	She already knows. I texted her last night while Dean was on his way to get you. I texted her again once Cas brought you home to let her know you were safe and told her if she wanted to come by later, she was more than welcome. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[ Claire ] fireinthesoul 2011-03-05 05:07 pm UTC (link)
	I should have known you'd take care of her. Thank you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[ Sam ] goallbuffyonus 2011-03-06 06:14 pm UTC (link)
	There's no need to thank me, Sam, but you're welcome. And if there's anything else you need, just let me know. I'm going to go out on the balcony for a little while and clear my head; I won't be far. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[ Claire ] fireinthesoul 2011-03-06 06:28 pm UTC (link)
	I might have to join you out there later. I think I need the air. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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