It was Tuesday in Neverland. And every pirate knew what that meant. It was, of course, Spontaneous Hook Appreciation Day! They'd been trained ever so well, that they might know how best to spontaneously appreciate their captain, the finest captain what ever sailed the seas!
It all starts with Smee, of course. After the Captain, he's the most important pirate! Not that anyone would actually say thata loud, of course. No, it starts with Smee, dancing down the plank of the Jolly Roger, humming to himself. He's got a red satin pillow in one hand, and a smile on his face.
The other pirates have been up for hours, getting themselves ready. Pants have to be ripped just below the knee, patches have to be sewn in place, the proper amount of dirt need be applied to faces, and, of course, they need to start on the getting drunk. But now Smee is travelling through Pirate Town, and all the pirates stop to nod and give him a good "ARR!" After all, it's Spontaneous Hook Appreciation Day!
All the pretty ladies of Pirate Town have turned up to watch Smee walk by. "There's a handsome man." They coo "What girl wouldn't marry such a wonderful pirate?" They ask each other. Such pretty woman, with themselves busting out all over. Not quite pirates, but it wouldn't be Pirate Town without them.
As Smee makes his way to the blacksmith, where the sound of a hook being sharpened can already be heard, the crowd starts to chant. The chant starts so entirely on cue, you can almost forgive the fact that just before it starts, one can hear the sound of "Ready? 1, 2, 3..." from a dozen voices. After all, it's spontaneous, right? But the chant, oh the chant. Truly, the best chant a group of pirates can come up with. "Hook, Hook, Where's the hook! Hook, Hook, Where's the hook?" Over and over again, from hundreds of voices.
With the ease of long practice, Smee scoops up the hook with his pillow, balancing it carefully on one hand, to the wonder and awe of his fellow pirates. It is now Smees turn to be full center of attention, as every pirate in the Town turns out to watch his progress, and join in the chanting. Woman faint at the passing of such a glorious instrument, and strong men cheer. In fact, several pirates throw themselves down in a puddle of water, so Smee doesn't have to get the Hook dirty even by contagion! Which makes it all the more horrible when one pirate does not throw himself in to the puddle, and, Smee, expecting that to have occured, ends up in the muck himself.
The entire town stops mid movement, all eyes focused on Smee in the puddle, the silver Hook held high to prevent it from getting dirty. Almost as one, they rise, turning to the skinny, dishevelved, one eyed pirate standing there when he should be lying in the mud.
The silence is broken by the sound of a door slamming open. Captain James Hook, most wonderful pirate captain, has sensed (heard) a disturbance in the routine of Spontaneous Hook Appreciation Day! His gaze falls upon the lowly pirate who is now the center of a widening circle. "Ah, my dear Ragetti, might I be so bold as to inquire as to the wherefore that you chose to let poor Smee fall into the slop?"
The pirate quivers in fear, staring upwards at the dread Captain Hook. His teeth all but chatter as he tries to form an answer. "Well, sir, you see, me shirt was just washed, y'see, and I didn' want ta go gettin it all dirt or nuthin, knowin ye ta be a kind man who'd unnerstan-"
BANG!
Ragetti stares downward at the blossoming red flower on his shirt, and the accompanying hole. His gaze travels upwards meeting Hooks eyes, before dropping back down to stare at the still smoking gun in Hooks hand. "Oh." After which, he falls backwards, stiff as a board.
"Well,t hen, my good fellows. Once more, from the top, shall we? You there, Third Drunken Lout! You've just been promoted to Fourth Puddle Plank! On with it you scurvy dogs!"
With his directions done, James retires once more to his cabin. Never mind that he already has a hook on, this is Spontaneous Hook Appreciation Day, and they will appreciate him, damn it! He, however, while waiting for the parade to get back his way, well, he'll work on this devilling little puzzle he'd been given.
"Smashing good job finding this Smee." He mutter to himself. "Devilish tricky if I do say so myself. Ah! There we are then, right as rain, just slip that in-"
In Pirate Town, the noise of the Jolly Roger vanishing is something like a loud POP. However, it is a noise that is enough to bring the parade once more to a screeching halt. Loyal Smee finds his jaw dropped, agape, as he stares at the empty spot where his Captain, and his ship, used to be. All he can manage to do is whisper, softly. "Cap'n?"
ELSEWHERE!
The first that the Captain is aware of his new surroundings is when there is a large Thump from beneath him. His mind fires immediately with the options. Could those despicable Lost Boys be trying a sneak attack? Maybe the indians? Whoever it is, it doesn't matter. Hook charges out of his cabin, sword drawn, ready to face whatever peril might face him.
At this point, the narration would like to point out to the audience something of which the good Captain is unaware. Mainly the fact that when the Jolly Roger was transported Here (oh, as if you didn't know that's what happened), it arrived rather precariously perched on a slope above the lake. The mere action of Captain Hook running out of his cabin therefore provides more then enough impetuous for the boat to tilt forward, and careen towards the waters, bouncing a little as it does so.
James Hook does not scream like a girl at this predicament. Anyone who says he did so, would, therefore, be lying. Nor does he clutch at the railing like a drowning man thrown a life line. No, as will be alter recorded in his journal, James Hook stands firm where he is, watching the waters rushing up to meet his ship, his hook planted firmly in the railing before him, his sword wedged in the deck to keep him steady. Well, that's his version anyways. Just like Peter Pan left Neverland due to fear of the Hook.
The sound of a large, three masted pirate ship echoes across the hills and vales of Here, surely loud enough to be heard in the Residence, ending with a loud SPLASH as it hits the lake proper. A bedraggled and nearly scared to Death James Hook drags himself to his feet, staring about him in utter shock. He shouldn't be able to leave Neverland. According to the ancient pact, either him or Pan had to be there at any one time, and if one was gone, the other was bound from straying. But now....
"Smee?Smee.SMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!</big?"
So, who wants to be the first to investigate the brand new Ship?
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