sturgis podmore (hitsyouhard) wrote in blackpoint, @ 2015-08-18 21:04:00 |
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Entry tags: | harry james potter, harry potter, hermione granger (slytherin), parvati patil, sturgis podmore |
Open position, to be filled immediately: Paid intern, does what Granger says, unless I say "don't do what Granger says in this specific case", in which case listen to me and not her. Make coffee and don't bitch about it. I don't care if it's good coffee but it's gotta be passable and if you just reheat that shit I will know it and you're gonna have nightmares the rest of your goddamned life once I'm done chewing you out. Filing the shit that needs to be filed; neither Granger nor I have done much with that so I hope you like piles. of. shit. Answer the phone, answer the door, be nice to our clients, and goddamn shower once in a while, Christ. Be a fucking human being, take some goddamn pride.
And for fuck's sake if I catch you smuggling magic carpets down at the blackmarket off Mayfair don't piddle about with "wow, what a strange coincidence that this illegal deal is going down so close and unrelated to me" because that's how we lost our last intern and I'm gonna be mighty upset if I need to go down memory road.
Anything else?
Oh yeah, what we do - detective agency, hire us when you don't want to deal with the brass's bullshit - just kidding HPD and NYPD, you're great - but we're not gonna front for you or hide your shit. We solve. Questions? Comments? Ask Granger, she actually likes people.
Apply or something by... doing shit, I don't know. Surprise me.
Podmore out.