InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Alex is a jerk"

xavier delamere {the count of monte cristo} (whatbefell) wrote in bellumlogs,
@ 2010-07-30 10:36:00

Entry tags:

count of monte cristo, mercedes mondego

Who: Xavier and Gina
What: It's a surprise! ~~AKA, Gina's coming downstairs and we have no idea what's going to happen~~ ...Or it's the great reveal.
Where: 1003
When: August 1, Afternoon
Warnings: No clue. Xavier's thoughts tend to be dark.

After not hearing from the Renauds from several days left him antsy, hearing from Gina didn't help matters. Before he knew it his newest vase was in smithereens on the floor and Gina was set to come down. He didn't know where that idea came from - especially per the Count's suggestion he should be avoiding her. It didn't sit well with him that the man he was supposed to be disapproved of him. But what could he do? How was Edmond able to push Mercedes in the end? Was it a matter of time?

Xavier got out the broom, cleaning up in short time. The apartment was given a once over and decided as clean enough before he paced. Returning to the computer would only agitate him more. There was too much to think about now and to figure out what he was going to do if Gina pieced things together. But if she did, like Mercedes had then she needed to hear the truth from him - even if the last thing he wanted was for her to know.

The knock at the door came at last and he took a deep breath, before putting his Xavier illusion in place. He opened it with a small smile that stayed firm despite how she looked. "Come on in."

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justonefish
2010-07-30 04:53 pm UTC (link)

"Yes," she said softly, covering her eyes with one hand. Why did she tell him? Shit. Now he thought she was insane, or worse. He probably thought the worst of Lucas now, because clearly he had to be Fernand. But she couldn't shake the fear that Lucas was that bad. Was Edward alive and warning her somehow? Or was she driving herself insane with grief and guilt?

As he spoke, she looked to him with a forced neutral expression. Her eyes were slightly glassy as she nodded. "That would...make him the Count...if he is indeed alive..." Clenching every muscle in her body, she rested her fingers against her lips. "In which case I pray to God he never comes to this horrible place."

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	whatbefell 2010-07-30 04:56 pm UTC (link)
	Xavier simply nodded. Alright then. This was it, he'd need to make plans and keep everyone quiet. Only Helena and Iris knew who he was - Lucas, if he pieced it together. He had to be safe otherwise. He didn't hide his surprise this time, words spilling out before he could edit them. "You don't think he's here?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

justonefish
2010-07-30 05:00 pm UTC (link)

His question made her tense. Was he? Eyes widening, she looked to him in shock. "I...I don't know," she finally said uselessly. "I hope not. I...I wouldn't wish this on anyone. If he was able to escape prison...the way the Count was..." Her hands began to shake at all the implications of that, but she forced herself onward. "Then I would hope that he was able to...find somewhere outside of all this. No matter what, he deserves...better than this. Better than what he had."

Taking a slow, shaky breath, she pressed a hand to her forehead as the tears began to come. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

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whatbefell
2010-07-30 05:32 pm UTC (link)

"It's a major part of the tale," Xavier said thoughtfully. The level of awkwardness - and describing himself and not being able to confess made his hands twitch. Even as he lied to people, he was usually better about avoiding the direct truth. "But ...I suppose the issue would be if he was here. If you don't think he is, then you shouldn't have to worry about Lucas."

She hadn't said Lucas was Fernand and he didn't realize it until too late. He winced, reaching for the pack of cigarettes in his pocket. "It's fine - do you mind if I light up?"

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justonefish
2010-07-30 05:41 pm UTC (link)

"Right," she started before realizing that he had said Lucas. How did he know? Eyes widening, she looked to him for a moment, dumbfounded. It wasn't too much of a stretch to jump from Fernand to Lucas, since she was Mercedes. But it was a bit much. However, she didn't push it. She had a bad feeling, and Gina did her best to shy away from bad feelings. "Yes, I shouldn't."

As he pulled out the cigarettes, she paused, breath catching in her chest. She remembered seeing that same pack on her nightstand when she and Edward were living together. She remembered him taking it from the pocket of his coat or sliding it from the table after they had had sex, pulling out a slim cigarette and lighting it up with sensuous expertise.

"No," she said softly, shaking her head. "Not at all."

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whatbefell
2010-07-30 06:12 pm UTC (link)

Xavier nodded tightly, unable to hide his discomfort. Over the years, he might have cut down on how much he smoked but it still was the best way to calm down that didn't involve smashing something. The packet was tucked back into his pocket and he lit up, hands curving around the cigarette.

He inhaled, shutting his eyes. "Sorry. I'm still trying to get down-" Not at all. "And I know it bothers some." His smile was tight around the cigarette, before he pulled it out, letting it roll over his fore-finger and to the crevice between the next two. "What was I saying? Right - you shouldnt worry."

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justonefish
2010-07-30 06:26 pm UTC (link)

At his apologies, she shook her head. "It's not a problem," she said. "My...fiance was a smoker." Maybe he still was, if there was the chance that he was still alive. It was so strange. For years, Gina had dreamed that Edward was still alive. Now, faced with the possibility of that dream becoming reality, she found it to be a nightmare.

As he removed his cigarette, she glanced down at his fingers, idly watching them. As he rolled the cigarette in the expert, almost careless motion, her heart stopped.

Edward had done that.

She watched him do it a thousand times, and was always amazed that he didn't drop it. Every time was like seeing it brand new, and every time was a small thrill. It was like a piece of stage magic that never grew old, never grew tired. She always wondered how he never dropped it or burned himself, and despite the fact that she felt the sudden urge to vomit and cry and run, she found herself wondering that very same thing in the back of her mind.

Her face drained of color, and her hands went slack. The glass of water she held fell to the floor, landing on the carpet and spilling forward. Eyes wide, she stood up quickly. Her hands shook as she tried to look everywhere but the cigarette. "I-I'm sorry," she whimpered. "I'm...I'm not feeling well..." Her heart skipped several beats as she took a few steps back, knees knocking. "May I just...use your restroom for a moment...and then I'll clean up the water, I-I'm sorry."

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whatbefell
2010-07-30 06:39 pm UTC (link)

Of course he was. Xavier knew first hand. But he wasn't supposed to know that. He shouldn't know anything about Edward and Gina or how she used to snatch the cigarette from his lips and kiss him, before going on her merry way. He shouldn't know of her little roll of the eyes as he smoked or how she watched his hands...

Fuck.

The cigarette went back to his mouth when the glass fell. Xavier stood up immediately, nodding. "Of course - it's down the hall, you have to walk through the first bedroom." Different layout thanks to his work there. He waved a hand, trying to remember if he'd left anything in the guest room. Not that he could remember - his copy of The Count of Monte Cristo was in his own bedroom, further down the hall. She shouldn't have a reason to go down there. "I'll clean this up."

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justonefish
2010-07-30 07:20 pm UTC (link)

"Okay," she said, nodding. "Thank you. I'm sorry. Again." As she retreated, she waved a hand at him, fingers visibly trembling. "I'm very sorry." She should have left. She should have told him that she was feeling sick - not a lie - and needed to go lay down. But her mind was consuming itself, and it wouldn't rest.

As she walked through the guest bedroom, she paused at the door to the bathroom before her gaze fell to the rest of the hallway. That itching under her scalp that she often got when something was wrong had come back, and it was enough to make her claw her hair out. Of course it was madness, thinking that Xavier had anything to do with this. He was just a business partner.

But wasn't that what the Count had been to Fernand, essentially?

She hadn't read the book in well over a decade, but this whole thing felt strange. Fingers ghosting over the bathroom door, she finally pulled away and crept to the end of the hall. She just needed to see something - anything - to prove to herself that this was nonsense. A few family photos, maybe, or a diary with entries from ten years ago. Just something to put her mind at ease.

She pushed the bedroom door open and walked inside softly, peering about. Some part of her felt guilty for invading his privacy like this, but she pushed the thoughts away. After all, she had to have proof of she wouldn't sleep that night. Not after seeing what he did with that cigarette. All she needed was a scrap of something proving Xavier's existence before all this and she'd be happy. Everything would be fine.

Holding her breath as if letting it out would alert him to her snooping, she crept towards the bed, making a beeline for the night stand. Just as she was about to start looking in drawers, a book on the bed caught her eye. Turning, she looked down at its pages, covered in tiny black text. It was open on its spine, and she carefully picked up the cover to examine the title.

She almost screamed.

The Count of Monte Cristo was written across the cover in clear, thick script. Her heart began to race, her breaths coming in and out in slow hiccups. No. This didn't make sense. This couldn't make sense. She wanted to turn her back on this and ignore it. She wanted to just say she felt sick and leave. But she had to know. She had opened up this can of worms, and now she had to chase all those bastards down and cram them back inside.

Picking up the book in shaking hands, she walked slowly down the hallway. As she emerged from the guest bedroom, her face was white as a sheet. Wide eyes fell on Xavier as she held out the book, front cover facing him.

"Why was this open on your bed, Xavier?" she whispered.

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whatbefell
2010-07-30 07:27 pm UTC (link)

Xavier had headed for the kitchen, grabbing a broom and cloth from a tall cabinet by the fridge. All the broken shards were picked up - he and Gina didn't need any more of those, methaphorically and literally. He was on his hands and knees when she came back, drying it. Automatically his smile curved into something apologetic, before his eyes fell on the book in her hands.

If he wasn't already smoking, he'd pull out his pack. But the cigarette was still clenched between his teeth, though his jaw slackened at her whisper. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. He should never have left that out for Edmond - fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck-

"I was reading it-" Which wasn't a lie. It shouldn't have been hard to lie to her, fuck, all he did was lie these days. He forced a smile on his face, even though his whole body shook. "I didn't think mentioning I had been reading it would go over well after you mentioned your fable. It would be absurd, wouldn't it?" His eyes fell and he continued to dry the floor.

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justonefish
2010-07-30 07:35 pm UTC (link)

If Gina were thinking properly, she'd consider how ridiculous she looked. She was standing at the edge of his living room, holding a book with the sort of reverence and fear one normally reserved for an unholy relic of Satan's collection. Her thin figure was draped in clothing that made her look almost like a skeleton, and the dark circles under her eyes made her appear all the less like a member of the living.

Fingers clenching on the book, she took a few steps forward at his nonchalant answer. His smile was pleasant, but something wasn't right. It just wasn't right. She saw a slight tremble running down his spine, and she couldn't help the sudden desire to throw the book at his head and demand a real explanation.

"It's not that popular," she said, voice choked. "The Count took an advisory role to Fernand after his return..." Tears winked in her eyes as she took a few more trembling steps towards him. "Xavier," she said, expression pained. "I just found out that my husband has been lying to me about our finances for months. I-I can't handle another lie like that...please." Her fingers shook as she held the book close. "If there's something you aren't telling me...please...tell me now."

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whatbefell
2010-07-30 07:46 pm UTC (link)

Xavier didn't need to look up to know how she looked. He knew her well enough, even after twelve years apart to know that she was near tears. Her voice gave it away - and he'd caused it...at least to some extent...He shut his eyes, ducking his head to give the floor a final swipe. He remained there, on his knees before here for a full minute.

There were only two options - lie or tell the truth. Forcing these lies out was impossible. She clearly suspected...and he'd given too much away. His hands clenched on the floor, balling up the cloth. Just like that, his plans were falling apart. Revenge and justice were an impossibility, becuase he'd let himself be distracted by her - just as the Count had warned.

Was this why he pushed his Mercedes away? Xavier wanted to pull the book from her hands and flip through it, trying to find an answer. He wasn't about to kill her son - why did she have to look at him like that? He couldn't fight the urge to tell her truth, not when she asked.

Xavier reached up to pull the cigarette from his mouth. It twirled down his fingers once more, before it rolled to a stand still. Ready. He took a deep breath, before saying in a barely controlled voice, just over a whisper, "My lies are nothing compared to your husband's."

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justonefish
2010-07-30 07:55 pm UTC (link)

As they stood there in silence, Gina did her best to not dissolve into tears. Something had been rotting here, and she was only now beginning to smell it. She wasn't sure what it was, though she knew that it would inevitably be awful.

When he finally animated after what felt like an eternity, she watched him flick and roll the cigarette just like Edward had. A few tears leaked down her cheeks as she gripped the book. "I can't know that if you don't tell me," she choked. "You twirl your cigarette...just like he did...it's exactly the same..."

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whatbefell
2010-07-30 08:03 pm UTC (link)

He looked up at last, barely meeting her eyes. His lips felt dry and he pressed them together, attempting to hide his own unease. He was only making it worse, he knew it but it didn't change the fact that his whole world was tumbling down again.

"I already have," Xavier said, heavily. He pushed himself to his feet, leaving the cloth on the coffee table. His hands shook as they reached for the book, tugging it from her hands. "I told you everything." The book was put down as well, his eyes moving from hers to stare at the cover.

Fuck.

He took a deep breath before letting a hand reach up and ghost over his face. Features changed, with only a ripple of a change. His hair lightened and the shape of his nose and lips was altered. He was older, far older than he'd been in any dream with her or when she saw him last. But as he looked up, blue eyes looking to hers and spoke with a distinct, American accent, he was Edward. "Tell me, Gina," he whispered. "Do you remember your dreams?"

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justonefish
2010-07-30 08:10 pm UTC (link)

As he took the book from her hands, she fought the urge to cry. She didn't know what he was going to do, but his words were starting to make her head ache. What did he mean, he already told her? He told her nothing. He and Lucas had hid their finances from her, and now he was hiding whatever this was. She was tired of being kept in the dark, and she wanted answers.

Watching his face change was dizzying, and her stomach twisted despite itself. Clutching an arm around her abdomen, she looked up at him with a vulnerable, nauseated expression. As his features began to settle, she felt a weight inside her drop from her heart down to her legs.

Jaw slack, eyes wide, she stared at him with growing confusion, fear, and overwhelming joy. All three emotions clawed at one another, fighting and gnawing, to leave her staring blankly at him as he spoke. His question teased fresh tears from her eyes as she extended a trembling hand to his face. Her fingertips brushed his jaw as if to try and see if he was real.

"Yes," she said softly, tears spilling over her cheeks. "Yes, I do," she choked.

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whatbefell
2010-07-30 08:18 pm UTC (link)

She wanted answers and so he gave them. He didn't have any expectations or any idea how she'd respons - but her hand at his cheek surprised him. Even with their conversations in dreams and what she'd said about Edward, it didn't change the hint of wariness over it all.

Edward's head turned into her hand, lips almost pressing to the palm before he stopped himself. His whole body shook as she began to cry and he fought to remain as himself, not hide away as Xavier again. "Every word of that was true," he whispered, eyes on hers. "And what Xavier said about Edward. Every word."

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justonefish
2010-07-30 08:26 pm UTC (link)

Feeling him turn into her hand was both wonderful and terrifying. She had dreamed about this. She had craved this. So why did she want to vomit? Was it because it was all wrong? Was it because it was supposed to be a misunderstanding, or a small mistake, rather than a betrayal? Maybe she was just afraid of what it said about her, that she had been too damned scared to go after answers when she hadn't heard from him.

Lifting her gaze from her hand to his eyes, she took a deep breath and sniffled through the tears. She wanted to be overjoyed to see him. Really, she did. But something inside her was cracking, and she couldn't hold it together anymore.

"Oh God," she whimpered, hand falling from his face to hang at her side. "I..." She choked on her own tongue seconds before bursting into tears. Head hanging, she slumped against his chest and clawed at his side with one hand. The sobs came hard and fast, and try as she might, she couldn't stop them.

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whatbefell
2010-07-30 08:32 pm UTC (link)

Even as he was disappointed by the loss of the loss of her hand, he was quick to react as she slumped forward. His arms wrapped around her, pulling her towards him and keeping her upright. They reached up to her shoulders, letting her head move to that space on his shoulder where it used to rest.

He didn't have anything to say to her - that he could say to her - that would help. He swallowed, simply supporting her as best he could while his own mind was reeling from what he'd done.

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justonefish
2010-07-30 08:46 pm UTC (link)

She cried until she couldn't breathe, and then cried some more. Her hands found his shoulders and she leaned against him, all her weight falling against his chest. After what felt like years, she pulled back. Her face was bright red, eyes puffy, and her nostrils flared with effort every time she took a breath.

"I don't even know what to say," she said numbly, holding the back of her hand to her lips. "I've dreamed about this...but...I never thought...oh Edward..." And just like that, she burst into tears again.

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whatbefell
2010-07-30 08:51 pm UTC (link)

There wasn't time to say anything else before she began sobbing again. Though he was shaking nearly as much as her - at least he had a better control of his emotions for once. He pulled her to his chest again, arms slipping under her arms to guide her to the couch. If her legs gave out, he lifted her, until they were in an awkward, clinging position there.

He didn't say anything else, merely waiting for her to calm down.

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justonefish
2010-07-30 09:15 pm UTC (link)

Once again, time passed without a word spoken between them. She did her best to help him as they moved to the couch, finally sinking onto it with him. Her nails dug into his shoulders as she continued to cry, and after what felt like an eternity, she stopped.

Wiping her eyes for what felt like the millionth time, she looked up at him with a fragile expression. It wasn't a smile, but it wasn't a frown. It was the ground between them, and simultaneously nothing at all. "Did you really not get any of my letters?" she finally asked, sniffling.

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whatbefell
2010-07-30 09:33 pm UTC (link)

Edward remained where he was, merely holding on as she cried. Every once in awhile he attempted to speak or say something, but cut himself off. There was nothing for him to do. It was up to her to make the first move - he'd already interrogated her, in dreams. His lips pressed against her hair once, in a soft movement that might never have happened at all. She pulled away soon after with her question.

"None," he said, leaning back. "And you didn't get any of mine." Not a question, in this moment he knew, even if he'd doubted before.

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justonefish
2010-07-30 09:41 pm UTC (link)

At his response, she stared at him. "You...sent me letters?" she asked in confusion. "I-I didn't know what to think, I just..." Feeling herself tear up again, she wiped her eyes stubbornly and shook her head. "I don't...understand...if you're alive...and the Count..." Biting down on her lower lip, she looked down to the floor. "Then Lucas..."

Dawning comprehension and fear washed over her face.

"He did it," she whispered.

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whatbefell
2010-07-30 10:04 pm UTC (link)

Edward nodded. "I thought I told you. I wrote you constantly. There were hundreds, thousands of letters over those ten years." He couldn't help the harshness in his voice. "Only one of my letters ever did any good. It got me out, because it reached someone..." But he couldn't explain Iris and Uncle Harry now.

There was a pause before he looked at her. "Yes." Hadn't she realized that before?

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justonefish
2010-07-30 10:12 pm UTC (link)

Thousands of letters? The confusion on her face was genuine. She hadn't seen even one of them. Eventually, she had just thought that he really had snapped and no longer cared. Maybe she thought that because it was convenient. Because anything else would imply something far worse about herself and the people around her, though now, there was no escaping it.

His confirmation made her eyes well up. "Oh God," she whispered, covering her mouth. "Oh God..." Immediately, she began to think. Her mind was flitting between panic and planning. She needed a divorce attorney. Somewhere to stay. Money. She could take extra shifts. She would have to tell her family. Running a hand over her face, she pulled away from him and slid towards the opposite end of the couch.

"We..." She wheezed, holding a hand to her heart. "We need to talk...but I can't..." Her lips began to move without words, and she let out a small, frustrated cry before slapping a hand over her mouth. "Not now...I can't..."

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