InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Magic Magic Ninjas What!!"

Samuel Madin (tiger_says_rawr) wrote in bellumlogs,
@ 2010-06-20 08:35:00

Entry tags:

plot: tempus, plot: xi, shere khan, wicked witch

Who: Sam and Joanie.
What: Tending to horses. Neeeeigh?
Where: The palace stables.
When: Post-hunkering down and sleeping in a barn, post-pulling a Doc Brown and traveling back in time.
Warnings: ~~A stable is not very conducive to sexing, so probably none.~~ Bambi dies. Animal activists, proceed with caution.
Notes: Heeeeeey. So like, I am totally going to assume that either Joanie turned hay into clothes or they were all thrown time-appropriate clothes when dragged off to their respective whatever's. Yes, this is Kim and I have such a way with words. ETA: It was all Joanie. She Harry Twattered the barn group some clothes with whatever magic word it was. Hurjashfutuanfjh!

You knew things were bad when the question was not where are we, but when are we. Judging by the clothing of the protesting Russians and the police that came to break up the scuffle, it had to be early 1900s. Everyone kept yelling about Nicholas - that was one of the few things that made sense - and while the cold was pretty severe, it wasn't as bad as it could have been, as in if they had been caught in the dead of winter.

Though of course our intrepid explorers could not go unnoticed for long. At least they managed to sneak in a few hours of sleep before the next round of fuckery set in. Sam had no idea how he managed to get dragged off to a stable (a stable? Really? What the hell? Did he give off cowboy vibes or some such?) but the stable hand looked pretty serious business about lathering down those horses. Apparently, he was in a rush to get them prepped for important things and didn't care that his newest stable attendants did not speak a lick of Russian.

This would be interesting.

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tiger_says_rawr
2010-06-21 03:41 pm UTC (link)

Guhhfiutueidffhtgurisnvjhab!!!!!!!!! was Sam's mental keyboard smash, pissed off because if he put his head in Joanie's lap, she'd probably shove a hot poker up his nose. Shere Khan was only doing it to be arrogant and rub it in Sam's face. This angered him more than anything.

The tiger huffed again, as if offended that Joanie said she couldn't remember her way back. He remembered the way, thank you, and could show her. This tiger was a deadly jungle spy! But if she didn't want to go back, he would maybe let her use him as a warm pillow.

You are definitely going to be a fucking pillow, Sam grumbled. And then a throw rug on the back of my couch, he added.

Keep quiet, before I kill things I really want to kill. I'm being awfully generous right now, and you need to be more appreciative. The tiger scooted off of his new headrest and went back to sitting on his haunches, regal and snooty. This was his territory now.

At least you're not spraying the trees with piss, Sam remarked dryly.

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wickedwicker
2010-06-21 03:49 pm UTC (link)

At the tiger's huff, she raised a brow. "I'm sorry," she said, though her tone wasn't apologetic in the least. "I got a bit distracted by getting dragged to the stables and I didn't leave a trail of bread crumbs to get me back." Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew that being sarcastic to Shere Khan was probably not the smartest thing. However, it was his fault for making her feel more comfortable. So if he had a problem, it was his to confront.

Granted, tigers confronted problems by eating them, not by rationalizing.

"But if you could track us back...we might be able to do it when the sun sets." She frowned. "Finding a new place would be hard, and I am not freezing to death in this fucking country."

When the tiger withdrew, she looked to the venison on the spit. She turned it slightly, looking at the roasted char on its surface. It was coming along nicely. Sitting back, she sighed, removing her hat and letting her hair fall down unceremoniously around her shoulders. "The last time something like this happened...it was only for a few hours. And we were in little rooms." She frowned, touching her fingers to her chin. "I...I don't know when we'll get back."

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tiger_says_rawr
2010-06-21 03:58 pm UTC (link)

Shere Khan lowered his ears, and his tail twitched. Then he bared his teeth and roared - yes, roared. It wasn't as loud as it could have been, but it definitely had Sam stumbling back and rattling against the imprisoning walls he was currently surrounded by.

Joanie, please just don't turn on the bitch switch, he begged, even though she couldn't hear him. Fucking hell!

The tiger sighed, pacing slowly - back and forth, back and forth. He was distrustful of humans in general, but this one seemed to know what she was talking about, so he didn't abhor her as much. He turned and nodded, well, alright he supposed he could track them back to the barn. Ho hum.

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wickedwicker
2010-06-21 04:42 pm UTC (link)

When his ears went back, Joanie's stomach clenched. This was bad. She began to edge away just as he bared his teeth, and the roar that came from his throat drained her face of all color. A sharp scream flew from her throat, though she silenced it quickly. She clenched the sides of her stool, face ashen, blue eyes wide, as she stared blankly at the ferocious creature.

It wasn't the cold that made her shake, and as the tiger began pacing, she wrapped her arms around herself in an attempt at creating some form of comfort. "You need to learn appropriateness, dear."

"Shut. Up. I might fucking die here, don't lecture me."

The Witch took that as proof of her point and stayed silent as Joanie watched the tiger, absolutely terrified. "I'm sorry," she whimpered, half-expecting him to lunge at any moment.

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tiger_says_rawr
2010-06-21 05:16 pm UTC (link)

That was Shere Khan, alright - cute and cuddly and then two seconds later he'd rip your face off. And so he stared, which was bad. Staring meant that the victim was being sized up. Probably about to become a snack too.

The human was hollering not to do that, which was displeasing. But Shere Khan sort of expected that anyway. How adorable. He went back to pacing, then stopped and looked toward the deer meat, then back at the girl. Clearly wondering if she was going to eat. She damn well better eat after he took the time to hunt! When the sun set, he would lead the way back. His fur kept him toasty, but humans did not have such built-in luxuries. What a shame.

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wickedwicker
2010-06-21 05:30 pm UTC (link)

His stare made her soul feel numb. Finally, she had to look away from him, wrapping her arms tightly around herself. "Fuck. I'm going to die here in the woods, and nobody will know. I'll be a Jane Doe lost in the history books."

Though Joanie was terrified, the Witch was laughing. "Don't be so dramatic, child! Eat your dinner and be quiet, now."

With a terse sigh, Joanie leaned forward to check on the meat. It was fine. After creating a large plate to rest it on, she carefully slid the meat from the spit onto the plate, licking her fingers free of the juices that had slicked them. She considered making a fork and knife, but then decided against it. It'd be simple, making them, but she was already tired from the extensive work she had done earlier. And she imagined that she'd only be doing more and more complicated magic until they made it back to Bellum.

So without any sort of ceremony, she picked up the piece of meat and bit into it. She tried to distance herself from the fact that it had been alive recently, though that was fairly difficult as the meat began to leak the second her teeth punctured it. Clear juice dribbled down her chin as she ate, unable to feel self-conscious when she realized how hungry she was. She devoured the meat, eating quickly and greedily with no attention paid to the mess on her face and fingers.

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tiger_says_rawr
2010-06-21 05:43 pm UTC (link)

Sam was tired too, but he didn't dare go to sleep. Could he even do that? Even if he did, he was anxious about somehow being trapped in a tiger's head for the rest of his life. So he stayed awake, groggy and grouchy.

Sexy, he chuckled as Joanie chowed down on the freshly cooked deer meat. Shere Khan appeared to be satisfied as well as he laid there, tail flicking up occasionally.

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wickedwicker
2010-06-21 06:00 pm UTC (link)

When finished, Joanie tossed the bones to the ground, licking her lips with a sound of appreciation. "That was pretty good," she gasped, digging her fingers into the snow to wash them off. After cleaning off her face, she dissolved the plate into dirt and leaned forward towards the fire. Rubbing her hands together absently to warm them up, she glanced up at the blue sky.

"If this is some kind of test," she said, not really paying attention to the fact that she had an audience. "I want to know what we get if we pass it." Biting her lower lip, she dragged her hands over her face. They were still chilly and a bit wet from the snow, but she didn't care. Sighing, she leaned her elbows against her thighs and let her head rest heavily in her hands.

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tiger_says_rawr
2010-06-21 06:11 pm UTC (link)

The tiger snorted, as if bemused by Joanie's question to the heavens. But he was pleased that she seemed to enjoy getting in touch with her inner cavewoman, so he raised himself up and ran off a bit, further into the trees.

What are you - ughhh, now you're just showing off, Sam groaned. A few minutes later, Shere Khan was back with a nice fat possum. A dead fat possum, which he dropped by Joanie's feet. This is what you get, Human! A possum!

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wickedwicker
2010-06-21 07:13 pm UTC (link)

The rustling snagged her attention and she glanced his way, eyes wide. "What?" she asked, turning to catch sight of Shere Khan's tail disappearing through the trees. Gasping, she stared after him, feeling her soul slowly die inside. "Shit," she whimpered, running her hands over her hair. She was fucked. The tiger was gone, and she was alone and confused.

"You brought this on yourself."

She hissed, standing up. "Shut the fuck up," she snapped, standing up and leaning towards the metal disc. Though she wanted to continue appreciating the fire, if Shere Khan was gone, she needed to get moving before it got dark. She tossed an armful of snow onto the fire, watching the tendrils of smoke rise into the air as it smoldered. Sighing, she turned the metal plate and spit into dust. Once she had done the same with the two stools, she turned, preparing to leave when a sound alerted her to another's presence.

Tensing, she watched as Shere Khan appeared, dropping a dead possum at her feet. Eyes wide, she stared at him. A harsh cackle sounded in her head, and for a moment, she wanted to punch herself in the face for it. Trying not to stare in confusion, she just stooped to pick up the dead animal with a smile.

"Thanks!" she said, terrified of pissing him off. "Thank you." She paused, looking up at the sky. It was starting to grow dark. "How about we get going soon, hmmm? Will you take me to the barn?" She paused. "Please?"

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tiger_says_rawr
2010-06-21 07:27 pm UTC (link)

You are so fucking funny, Tiger fuckface, Sam snapped, because Shere Khan was snickering in his special deadly way, at the look on Joanie's face. He snatched the possum from her grip (because Shere Khan wanted a midnight snack for later), holding it in his mouth, and then trotted ahead, turning back with another 'chuff' sound emitting from his nose. This meant follow, if you want to live.

It didn't take long to reach the barn even though Shere Khan had to go at tired human pace. He could run much faster, but Sam was adament about not leaving the girl behind. No other human was there, oddly enough. They had run of the place for now.

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wickedwicker
2010-06-21 07:43 pm UTC (link)

Thank God he took the possum back. She wouldn't know what to do with it. As he took off, she reached up in the tree to collect Sam's clothing before running after him. The snow crunched beneath her feet as she kept up with him, trying to ignore how tired she was. Finally, they reached the barn.

With a sigh of relief, she stumbled inside. Setting Sam's clothing in the corner, she flopped onto her back in the hay with a deep breath. Somewhere in her mind, she wanted to make a few mattresses so that they could sleep more comfortably that night. But she couldn't bring herself to sit up again. Groaning, she dug her fingers into her hair and rolled onto her side, curling up in a pile of hay.

"Pull yourself together, child. You should create a few mattresses."

"Shut up," she whined in her head. "Shut up and leave me alone." Sighing, she nuzzled into the hay and closed her eyes. She just needed to rest her eyes for a moment.

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tiger_says_rawr
2010-06-21 10:04 pm UTC (link)

Shere Khan didn't care about mattresses, really, he just settled nearby with his delicious possum beside him. He'd prefer something meatier, but it was essentially fast food. Good in a pinch. He waited for the human to settle as well, and if she fell asleep he would stay up in case anyone tried to come in and here and steal his territory. Oh someone would regret that indeed.

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