InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "feces encrusted hellhole"

Ella Claire Gainsborough {Beauty} (bookshelved) wrote in bellumletale,
@ 2010-01-06 21:41:00

Entry tags:

beast, beauty

TO: Daniel Webster (needapenname@netmail.com)
FROM: C. Davis (davisc@publishinghouse.net)
SUBJECT: Copy?

Mr. Webster:

This is the latest in a series of e-mails where I make repeated, futile attempts to contact you.

Your agent, Mr. Quinn, has been unable to inform us of the status of the first draft of the thriller that is past due us. I am employed as a copyeditor for the Publishing House, and I have been assigned to handle the manuscript exclusively, in an effort to expedite publication of the past due work.

I've read your previous novels, Mr. Webster, and am very familiar with your writing style. I feel we will be able to work very effectively together to address any issues plaguing your current endeavor.

Upon reception of this e-mail, if you would please reply to let me know that you have received the information I have repeatedly provided. If you require anything during the writing process, I am available to assist in any capacity.

Sincerely,
C. Davis

Publishing House
Publishers of fine literary works
Phone: 1-800-566-Book
Fax: 1-800-566-9999

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	bookshelved 2010-01-07 03:50 am UTC (link)
	I'm glad we managed to avoid that. Not that I believe you. I felt I should clarify, since these things don't always come across in e-mail. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	labete 2010-01-07 03:54 am UTC (link)
	Are you asking me if I think this is funny? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bookshelved 2010-01-07 03:58 am UTC (link)
	I'm checking my previous e-mails for question marks. Hold on. No, there are none there. Can I hazard a guess as to why you're being so defensive? Or should I pretend I'm not hypothesizing until we've spoken longer? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	labete 2010-01-07 03:59 am UTC (link)
	Wow me with your intuition, Miss Marple. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

bookshelved
2010-01-07 04:03 am UTC (link)

I'm an elderly spinster, am I? I'm smiling, even though you can't tell. I just thought you'd want to know. What makes you think I'm not Mr. Marple?

Your defensiveness, it isn't because of my sparking personality, because the rumor is that you're like this with everyone. So even though it hurts my vanity, it has nothing to do with me.

Is it control? Do you not like people giving you criticism or having control over your work?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	labete 2010-01-07 04:14 am UTC (link)
	Quinn sent me a ton of email too. I ignore him more fervently than I do you. God forbid I should insult your sparkling personality. Goddamn right it's control, my writing is all I have. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bookshelved 2010-01-07 04:17 am UTC (link)
	No it isn't. Your writing is yours, no matter what I suggest; I'm not taking it from you. And you have your mind, and that's much more than what you put on a page. Don't sell yourself short. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	labete 2010-01-07 04:21 am UTC (link)
	I don't need your reassurances. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bookshelved 2010-01-07 04:22 am UTC (link)
	I don't need your permission to give them. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	labete 2010-01-07 04:27 am UTC (link)
	I don't want them. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bookshelved 2010-01-07 04:32 am UTC (link)
	You don't get a say. If I want to be nice and reassuring, I can be. I meant it when I said you had potential, by the way. That wasn't me making things up to get on your good side. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	labete 2010-01-07 04:34 am UTC (link)
	Meaning everything I published before was sloppy and unoriginal? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bookshelved 2010-01-07 04:36 am UTC (link)
	No, meaning everything you published before was wonderful, but you're a writer and that means you can always be better. You can't be scared of revision or advice, or you'll only put out your almost-best. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	labete 2010-01-07 04:37 am UTC (link)
	I'm not putting out any more than you're giving it up. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bookshelved 2010-01-07 04:39 am UTC (link)
	Changing the subject to offend me because it's uncomfortable for you? Very well, I'll bite. What makes you think I'm frigid on top of being an elderly spinster? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	labete 2010-01-07 04:44 am UTC (link)
	Maybe I was hoping you'll prove me wrong? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bookshelved 2010-01-07 04:46 am UTC (link)
	New tactic? Hitting on me will distract me, is that right? I like to know what the men I flirt with look like. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	labete 2010-01-07 04:47 am UTC (link)
	Choosy, are you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bookshelved 2010-01-07 04:51 am UTC (link)
	Does that disqualify me as an elderly, frigid spinster? And don't think for a moment you've distracted me from our original topic of conversation. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	labete 2010-01-07 04:52 am UTC (link)
	Avoiding the question. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bookshelved 2010-01-07 04:55 am UTC (link)
	Am I choosy? Maybe. I want a man who's smart and witty, and who isn't scared of someone who wants to give him advice on his writing, and who has strong arms and doesn't have a wandering eye. Are you choosy? Or are you just going to avoid the question by telling me that man doesn't exist? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	labete 2010-01-07 04:56 am UTC (link)
	Oui, that's pretty damn choosy. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bookshelved 2010-01-07 05:00 am UTC (link)
	Maybe, and maybe that's why I'll end up an elderly spinster, but not a frigid one. Now you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	labete 2010-01-07 05:02 am UTC (link)
	Old spinsters get cold, honey. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bookshelved 2010-01-07 05:05 am UTC (link)
	You never do as you're told, do you? What do you think I should be less choosy about from my list? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)