|Peter Quill is a Star-Lord. (thehoffs_twin) wrote in avengers_logs,|
@ 2019-09-16 10:32:00
|Entry tags:||-backdated, -complete, gamora, peter quill|
Who: Peter and Gamora
What: Catching up
When: Backdated to the weekend
Peter had made the executive decision to get everyone to back off from Gamora, and let her rest in their room on the ship. Well. It used to be their room. Since she'd left, it had quickly become a room he didn't like to go in. More often than not, he fell asleep in his captain's chair if he was up in space but with it wasn't the same as it was before. It was lonely, and he kind of hated being in the ship alone.
Giving her some time to settle, he made sure the others were okay after everything before coming back to the room. He didn't know if she would be asleep or not, although he was sure just opening the door would wake her up. Peter couldn't help it though -- he needed to see if she was okay, and part of him wanted to know ...was this his Gamora? Was this the one that had been trapped in the soul stone before? Who came to Earth then? Or was that another one?
God, all this time travel parallel word shit was just that -- shit.
Clearing his throat lightly, he tried to swallow past the lump that had embedded itself since he saw her. His stomach was nervous, and he felt like he was about to pass out, but not until he knew she was okay. Knocking lightly on the door, he pushed it open slowly. "Babe? You okay?"
There were so many things running through Gamora's head that it felt as if it were on fire. There were multiple versions of her running alongside each other, half remembered realities that had all happened but at the same time, hadn't. Ever since Peter and the others had come to rescue her Gamora had sat alone trying to get reality to reassert itself. Well, all realities. Her head hurt. It hadn't stopped hurting for a good while now.
However, being back on the ship she had called home, her true home, made things a little easier on her. She sat in her and Peter's room on the corner of their bed just letting her senses be invaded by the familiar feelings and smells of the room. Peter seemed to accompany at least a few of her realities, from the way he had acted, and that brought her a little peace as well. Still, Gamora couldn't help wondering if she was just hopeful enough to fool herself.
Looking up when he cleared his throat, Gamora forced a smile that hardly really showed. There was so much she wanted to ask, but so much was still jumbled up in her head. They had danced around their feelings for each other in so many realities, so many different places, but they had always reached the same end, it seemed. Gamora smiled a little wider at this. "I'm... Getting there. I think."
"Getting there is good." He have a slight nod and took a few cautious steps into the room, his hands in his pockets, more to stop from fidgeting than anything else.
"Um." Peter caught her eyes and he gave a shaky laugh while he combed his fingers through his hair. "Oh fuck me. I don't know what to say." He stretched his arms out and shrugged widely. "I'm speechless. Congrats, Gamora -- for the first time ever, I have nooo fucking clue what to say." This was dangerous because it meant Peter was going to start to ramble.
Which he did.
"When I heard the message...nothing was going to stop me. Nothing. No one. I don't want to live in a universe without you and I have, so many times and it was just so weird each time and I don't know if you're my Gamora or not, but I do know that I love you. Always have. And it's okay if you don't back," he added hurriedly, suddenly full of words for someone who aimed to be out of them. "I get it. Multiple universes and all. But. I'm pretty sure I'd die for you in any of those realities so. Yeah. Just...wanted to get that out there. Hope that wasn't too awkward."
It was hella awkward.
"Yeah." Gamora replied softly. She didn't mean to stare, but couldn't help stealing glances at Peter's every move. She had missed him so much, their adventures and their companionship as much as their undeniable (if ill-advised on her part) love for one another. They hadn't had time to really settle into what that meant, and that was Gamora's deepest regret beside leaving Nebula at the mercy of Thanos.
Peter's reaction and his admittance to being rendered speechless garnered a brow raise out of Gamora, who blinked her amusement. She didn't know what to say either, so sadly she had no way out for him. It was just as well. She needed to listen to what he said next. With a shaky breath, Gamora stood up and closed the distance between them, taking Peter's hand.
"Peter. I have so many memories inside of my head, so many versions of me that I don't know who is whose anymore but I... I am your Gamora. I remember everything and I love you as much as I did when we were here together, or out there together, or when Thanos took me away." She looked into his eyes. "I'm confused. And overwhelmed, I feel like my head might just explode. But I know myself. All of my...selves. You mean everything to all of them."
Her hand was warm in his and it wasn't until that moment that he realized he hadn't felt the same type of comfort or touch in ...well, however long it'd been since her last appearance. Sure, he wasn't lonely per se. He never had been. Peter tended to attract people no matter where he went, but love and affection were things he'd barely known.
At least before her.
Tightening his fingers around her grip, he suddenly pulled her into a close hug, resting his cheek on the top of her head. It was getting harder to breathe without crying and he knew he was about ready to lose it. "You're mine," he repeated, more to himself than anything else. Not literally of course -- she was her own person, and she'd made that clear many many times, but it was something he needed to say right now. "And you're here and not in that ...stone anymore. That place" He wanted to ask what it was like, his innate curiousity needing to be satiated...maybe later.
"What do you need from me? You tell me. We're on our way back to Terra, it'll be a while..."
Gamora could only nod, head resting against Peter's chest as she exhaled the deepest she felt she ever had. It wasn't just the relief of being back with Peter, whom she had come to love so much it angered her sometimes. It was the freedom of being out of that realm of desolation and despair where all she'd had were shadows and lost souls. And Thanos, at least once. Gamora had tried hard not to really assess how angry she was that sacrificing her had worked. It should not have. It wasn't love.
"I... Don't know. Sit with me. Be patient. I think I need to learn how to be a real tangible person again." She told Peter at last, voice coarse. "But eventually I want to know what you have been up to. All of you."
"Whatever you want, babe," he breathed out. Even though she'd just gotten up, he tugged her hand to the bed. Laying down with his head on the pillow, he pulled her up close to him, nose to nose, so he could stroke her hair, caress her side. ... she wasn't saying no, and even though they'd never been the most overly affectionate couple, he knew he had to right now. Tell himself that this was real, she was really here. "I don't know what to say ... what's the last thing you remember?" There was probably so much to start with ...and he was not going to start with all the sandwich girls or Darcy or any of that ... he didn't really want to be impaled right now.
It was hard to relax back into the bed but Gamora got there in the end. She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly, basking in Peter's touch and his company. She remained like that a moment trying to sort through her memories. "Um... well, we were here. Living together, my sister was here, we worked for Stark... I dreamt about Thanos killing me. Turns out he did I suppose." She opened her eyes. "And now I seem to remember meeting you before I was sent after you, which is ludicrous. It's like a faint dream, that I was there when Thanos was finally defeated but I wasn't... We hadn't formed the Guardians yet. Ronan was still around, I was still Thanos' plaything. We were nothing. It's confusing. What do you remember?"
"I remember all that, but in order," he said finally. What she was describing didn't really make any sense to him. How could she have now memories with past memories and then some even further memories...but now.... "So I know when I first met you. How you totally and completely kicked my ass in the sexiest way possible." Okay, he hadn't actually thought that at the time. Looking back though ... oh yeah, she was hot and deadly, just how he liked them.
He tugged lightly on one of her tendrils, enjoying the soft feel around his fingers. He was trying really hard not to be turned on. It was the last thing he needed to be thinking of. "I remember living here, I still work for Stark ... Nebs was here but," he hesitated a bit, "she's gone now. It's really me. And Drax...and even he's talking about getting back with the others. I'm ...not ready for that. I kinda feel like I need to be on Terra, see where that takes me. But I mean, if you want something else," he added hurriedly, "we can totally talk about it. I can't lose you again. Ever."
Gamora didn't know what to say to that. Order seemed wholly relative at the moment and she was confused enough as it was. She was also sad to hear Nebula was no longer here, but it wasn't like she could really expect anything else.
"No. If you want to stay, then we'll stay." Right now she too needed to figure some things out, Terra seemed as good a place to do so as any. She would like to tell Peter he would never lose her again, but that was dishonest. False. So, Gamora smiled faintly instead and snuggled up to him. Wordlessly.