InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Let's get it!"

sirius (pyrrhic) wrote in abaeterno_rpg,
@ 2021-12-08 14:03:00

Entry tags:

c: abigail hobbs, c: harry potter, c: remus lupin, c: sabrina spellman, c: sirius black, c: theodore nott, l: north pole, u: james potter, u: loki, u: stephen strange

[PRIVATE GROUP FILTER: JAMES, REMUS, HARRY, SABRINA, DR. STRANGE, THEODORE, LOKI, GINNY, ABIGAIL]

1. Santa Clause
2. Mrs Clause
3. The Conductor

[PRIVATE FILTER: JAMES]

EDITED TO ADD IN SOME TIME AFTER THIS:

[PRIVATE FILTER: MARAUDERS]

[PRIVATE FILTER: HARRY]

EDITED TO ADD IN SOME TIME AFTER this:

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Marauders.

pyrrhic
2021-12-09 12:31 am UTC (link)

I know that, don't I? But I'd handle you differently depending on which it was. I don't know what frame of mind he's even right now. First time I pay attention to him and he's talking about murder.

[...] You're right, I suppose.

[MOONY]
Well it's as impeccable when you contrast it against mine, isn't it?

How many times in our friendship have you genuinely wanted to kill me now? I feel like whatever the total sum is we should be shooting for less.

Yeah, leaving him to his own devices is a shite idea and not one I've advocated for.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Marauders.

galarusblaidd
2021-12-09 01:52 am UTC (link)

His frame of mind is pain, Sirius. He's a young man in pain who needs friends.

[Sirius]
You are capable of more control than you've ever believed of yourself, Pads.

Genuinely wanted to kill you, specifically? Once. Idly thought about how easy it would be while the beast within raged for your blood in the back of my head? At least once for every hour you've spent in my company, same as anyone else.

But, reach out to him, Sirius. You don't have to make it about trying to help him get through this. Just get to know him.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Marauders.

pyrrhic
2021-12-09 01:58 am UTC (link)

James, you should definitely be talking to him, then. Young blokes in pain who needs friends is your speciality.

[MOONY]

Unclear if that's a comment on how often you vaguely want to murder people or one on how often everyone else considers trying 'murder him' as a viable option to myself.

Theodore Nott called me nice the other day, by the way. I'm nice now.

[...] You're reasonably confident I won't push him further off in the wrong direction?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Sirius galarusblaidd 2021-12-09 02:03 am UTC (link)
	That's a comment on how often I feel that way. Although...now that you mention it. It might apply to others wanting to at least throttle you. Nott only just met you. His opinion is suspect. But, teasing aside, I trust you, Pads. When you want to be, there's an empathetic heart under all that swagger. You just don't like most people to know it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Moony & Padfoot. pyrrhic 2021-12-09 02:09 am UTC (link)
	How fucked up is it that I'm vaguely offended you only think about tearing me to pieces as often as you do everyone else? NICE. And kind. It was awful. Yeah, well. You've been best mates with me for years, your opinion is also suspect. [...] [...] Do you want to [...] talk more? About [....] things we haven't been talking about? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Moony & Padfoot. galarusblaidd 2021-12-15 03:44 am UTC (link)
	Only you would be jealous over how often someone contemplates your murder, Pads. Nice and kind! However will you survive the indignity!? Just because I might be prejudiced in your favour doesn't make me wrong. We can always talk, Sirius. You don't have to ask. Just find me when you have something to say. And I'll do the same. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Moony & Padfoot.

pyrrhic
2021-12-18 11:41 pm UTC (link)

If someone wants to kill me, I only feel it's right they should want to kill me the most.

Alright, well. [...] Narcissa's son. I spoke to him at Christmas, letting the spirit of St. Nick move through me or what have you. Among blithely informing me how that my baby cousin is dead and being incredibly patronising about my ability to know what chocolate you fucking like, he told me that I [...] unsettle you. That my behaviour is unsettling to you, and that I no longer have the ability to make you laugh. Confirm for me, if you would, that this is bullshit.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Moony & Padfoot.

galarusblaidd
2021-12-21 02:19 am UTC (link)

You do not unsettle me, Sirius. But, the situation does a little. I'm incredibly glad to have you and James back. But...it's been eight years for me. I'm going to be thirty in not too long. I've lived a good many years of my adult life while you and James are still just starting out on yours. You're still twenty-one. I've had time to develop new tastes, different preferences. It's a bit surreal -- which was the word I used to describe how I felt when Draco asked, not unsettling -- to watch you and James and if feels like something from the distant past, while I know everything I remember a 'years ago' was practically just yesterday for the two of you.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Moony & Padfoot (TW: References to torture, dismemberment, mental assault, child abuse, murder).

pyrrhic
2021-12-21 09:43 pm UTC (link)

22, actually. I was a few weeks off of 22 when I got here. I can appreciate that it's a far jump from 28 and I can appreciate it's surreal, and I'm definitely glad to hear you haven't been calling me and James unsettling.

But neither of is 'just starting out' on being adults. Neither of us is 'barely out of Hogwarts while Remus is a grown man' as your new pal who is a grand total of two fucking years older than me so sweetly put it.

James is married with a sprog and a death sentence, he buried his parents within days of each other when he was seventeen years old and almost died at Voldemort's hands more times than either of us. He's been scared out of his mind since Harry was three months old, cooped up in hiding, always on the move, never sure which of the people who he would gladly have died for wants to murder his baby son. Now he's mourning his wife and struggling with the reality that his son is raised by pieces of shit due to a mistake the three of us made together and the betrayal of someone he's been friends with longer than me.

I've been legally an adult since I was sixteen when my parents gave me the great gift of disowning me. But not before they ever so lovingly tried to cast all three Unforgivables on me, broke my wand and held me hostage in my own bedroom so I couldn't even go to the fucking bathroom. I've been working for the Order for going on five years. I have had the ugly task of repeatedly using leglimency on the people I considered family, been gaslit by someone I confided to in ways I didn't James, got to the McKinnons' just in time to fail at saving the life of her baby niece, and fought alongside the Prewetts as they died and I did not. Two months before I came here I found out the man I'd been seeing had been torn to pieces because his lips, his heart and his fucking dick were sent to me care of the House Elf that used to bind me so that my father and once favourite cousin could assault my mind to try and make me 'a proper Black' again.
I am now facing the reality that those are the kind of memories I would have been relieving for twelve fucking years, snug in the knowledge that everyone I would've gladly died for was now looking back at those moments, sure I must have been a Death Eater, wondering if the reason I was the first one on the scene all those times was that I was the one who'd Imperiused the Bones' daughter to suffocate her little brother.

Hogwarts was not 'practically just yesterday' for either of us. We act like we do because all of that was just yesterday for us, and we cope differently than you do when we are trying to stay above water.

I can forgive you that you've forgotten this is how we cope, I can acknowledge James and I could both be much better at being considerate to you and how you've changed, and I can agree that given you have no objections of your own, this is the last we two speak of this. I can even make my peace with the fact that you're within your rights to process your thoughts about James and with one of the purist snots I'm unwillingly related to. In return, I expect you to keep this between us, manage your pal better and set him to rights if he dares to imply in your hearing that James and I are children. I didn't break his nose before because it was Christmas and I've met flobberworms with more people skills, but that's a pass I only allow once.

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Re: Moony & Padfoot (TW: References to torture, dismemberment, mental assault, child abuse, murder).

galarusblaidd
2021-12-21 11:03 pm UTC (link)

Why do I have a feeling that this response is more intended for Draco than it is for me? You're making a lot of assumptions about things I meant by a few words, Sirius.

I did not mean to imply a judgement on your age or to infer that either of you are children. Objectively, especially when you consider that the average wizard lives until well over a hundred, twenty-one or twenty-two is still at the beginning of your adulthood. It has nothing to do with what you've experienced or your maturity. I would say the same about myself at that age, even knowing how much I was forced to grow up too quickly, if in a different manner than you or James.

Still, while we may not have been living in each other's pockets during the war the way we did in school, we did still see each other. Those years after Hogwarts, James and Lily's wedding, my parents' murder, those were the things I meant when I said what you remember as practically yesterday was nearly a decade ago for me.

I'm not sure what you're even talking about as far as acting like you do, however, as I said nothing about it. So, I can only surmise that Draco said something and you're putting his words into my mouth, which I would thank you not to.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Moony & Padfoot.

pyrrhic
2021-12-21 11:17 pm UTC (link)

I'm making assumptions based on the fact that you had a personal conversation about me with a member of my blood family, who is clearly a fucking purist. And given the way he spoke about me to my face, I dread to think what the fuck he's been saying to you, who he apparently feels enough claim over that he feels he can tell me how to be a good friend to you.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Moony & Padfoot. galarusblaidd 2021-12-21 11:40 pm UTC (link)
	Sirius, did it ever cross your mind that we were actually having a personal conversation about me? That maybe Draco is a friend and he was inquiring into my well-being, which only tangentially was connected to you by the fact that, after eight years as a lone wolf, having my best friends back and so much younger is, to be crass about it, a mind fuck? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Moony & Padfoot. pyrrhic 2021-12-21 11:43 pm UTC (link)
	I think you know it absolutely did not. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Moony & Padfoot. galarusblaidd 2021-12-22 12:23 am UTC (link)
	I might have suspected that a little. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Moony & Padfoot. pyrrhic 2021-12-22 12:29 am UTC (link)
	You see why I'm jealous you only think about murdering me the same amount as you do everyone else? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Moony & Padfoot. galarusblaidd 2021-12-22 12:43 am UTC (link)
	Everyone else just has to work twice as hard to make me care enough to want to throttle them. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Moony & Padfoot. pyrrhic 2021-12-22 12:53 am UTC (link)
	Imagine if I actually worked to make you mad. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Moony & Padfoot. galarusblaidd 2021-12-22 01:01 am UTC (link)
	A truly terrifying thought. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	Re: Marauders. _cervus_ 2021-12-10 09:41 pm UTC (link)
	I should read these chats sooner, shouldn't I? Anyway, at risk of proving Padfoot right... I actually quite like Roman. Pre-murder chat, obviously. He stopped me trotting off into a fairy-infested bog when we were in Necrohelm. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Marauders. pyrrhic 2021-12-12 03:05 am UTC (link)
	Over a decade we've been best mates, and still, you have yet to learn that 'pay attention to Sirius' is practically always the correct answer. There we go then. Literal trotting? (Reply to this) (Parent)

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