ronin even wants her on sunday morning (wantheronsunday) wrote in _fracture_, @ 2014-01-28 00:58:00 |
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Entry tags: | flashback, kai, ronin |
What's Lookin, Good Cookin?
Who: Kai and Ronin
Where: Local bar
When: 6 months ago
Ronin was on fire. He was on the stage with SMH singing his lungs out and having the time of his life. Their song “Sunday Morning” was always a big hit with the local crowd who all seemed to know the words and sing along. The bar was packed and he knew the band would be getting a good cut tonight but that wasn’t why he did this. It simply was pure, unadulterated fun to get caught up in all the excitement and such an ego boost to know he was part of the cause for it. Especially when the girls in the front looked moony-eyed and asked him and his bandmates to marry them or at least go home with them.
They finished the set and Ronin was so high on it all as he set his guitar on its stand and came down off the stage. He was sure that every single part of his body got a once over by someone as he tried to push through the crowd. He was laughing by the time he reached Kai. “I feel so violated every time I leave the stage. So what’s lookin’, good cookin’?” he asked, teasing her.
Kai had been loving the show. She got a lot out of his gigs too. The music, of course, was awesome. But beyond that, she loved the energy around, she loved seeing him up there on stage, being just as amazing as she knew he could be. She even loved seeing the adoration on the crowd, all wanting a piece of him, even as he made a bee line straight to her. She saw the usual glares, or disappointed looks shot in her direction, even as she gave Ronin's admirers a friendly smile and wave over his shoulder as she gave him a hug. She giggled at his teasing, and grinned at him. “Don't worry, I'll protect you,” she told him first. “And you were amazing as usual, of course!” she added, as one particularly pushy girl practically shoved her way between the two of them, her back to Kai.
Unless Ronin was dating someone who happened to be at the gig, he always went straight for Kai if she was there. It was far safer than wandering the crowd as he'd learned a long time ago. Though his band mates seemed to find some fun in that from time to time. He grinned, pleased with her praise. "Thank you kindly, dollface." It looked as though he did need protecting. A somewhat rabid fan, one who was almost always at his shows, forced her way between Ronin and Kai and Ronin gave her a pleasant smile. "One of these days I'll have to introduce you to a little thing I call common courtesy. But for now, meet my very talented and very wonderful BFF Kai." He pushed at her shoulder to turn her toward Kai, giving Kai a rotten grin over the girl's shoulder.
Kai grinned, a big, toothy smile as Ronin redirected the girl. “Hi!” she greeted pleasantly, even if she was getting a death glare. “I'm Kai, and you are?” she asked, holding her hand out for the other girl to shake.
She did shake her hand, though her grip was too tight. “Carrie,” she answered, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder. “Nice to meet you,” she added, before turning directly back around to Ronin. “I wanted to know if you wanted to go out for drinks...I know a great place not far from here.”
Ronin didn't skip the opportunity to at least check out Carrie's ass before she turned to face him again. She was too close though. He could smell whatever perfume she used and it was sort of heady. Not to mention he was a bit of a sucker for blonde hair at times. Well, he was sort of a sucker for girls in general, wasn't he? He gave her a sad puppy face. "I can't. Not yet anyway. I have another set still. But afterward, maybe. You're free to go after too, right, Kai?" he asked, intentionally inviting her though he was sure drinks was meant to be a one on one activity.
Kai opened her mouth to answer, but Carrie leaned in very close to Ronin, practically leaning on him as she purred an answer. “It's a private party,” she told him. “I'm sure your 'bff' wouldn't want to be a third wheel, now would she?”
Kai, behind Carrie, watched Ronin. She eyed Carrie critically for a moment, then shook her head. Nope. This chick was throwing herself a little too hard at Ronin. She was willing to bet this wasn't her first rodeo, that she'd thrown herself at other bands too.
Usually inviting Kai with when these things happened sort of made the determination fizzle. Apparently there was no turning Carrie off so easily. Check in the plus column as far as he was concerned. If she graced past the BFF invite, maybe there was something there. That could be true, couldn't it? He reached a finger to touch Carrie's shoulder and glanced to the side as though he were a little shy. Which he wasn't. "Really? Because I'm sure we can rustle up a fourth wheel to sit beside her. Perfect Tommy's around," he said, knowing just how much Kai appreciated Perfect Tommy and vice versa.
Carrie reached up to turn Ronin's face toward hers, planting a serious kiss on him, wanting to stake claim while she felt like she still had an in. Kai sat back slightly and rolled her eyes slightly, watching the other girls crowd in closer, like they might get their turn soon.
Ronin had no other recourse but to kiss her back, right? That was how it worked. Especially if you wanted free samples that were being given away so vigorously. He didn't even have to be a letch. He kissed Carrie back, running his fingers through her hair and when the kiss came to an end, he glanced over at Kai. And began the inside joke. "I'd say a 9 out of 10 but would you at least give her a whirl first? I need to be sure I won't be disappointed."
Kai grinned. “Of course! C'mere, Carrie!” she said, faking enthusiasm. Carrie didn't think it was so funny, and scoffed, trying to gain the upper hand here again. She looked to Kai, shaking her head. “Sorry, sister, I don't do girls. Just amazing musicians.”
Ronin gave Carrie a look that read like the face of someone having the responsibility of voting the prettiest girl off the island for a stupid reason. "I guess you're not the one for me, Carrie. I share everything with Kai. But thanks for the invite. I hope to see you at future shows! Bring your friends. I'll buy you guys a round next time," he said, his tone very dismissive as he turned toward the table, putting his side to Carrie. In reality he was looking away, trying not to laugh.
Kai watched Carrie fume, and she looked like she was going to try to talk to Ronin again. Reaching out, Kai touched the girl's shoulder. “I wouldn't,” she said. “We're all here to have a good time, right? Have a good time, Carrie,” she suggested.
Carrie sighed, then turned to walk off, a different girl coming up in her wake. She looked between the two of them, then looked to Ronin. “I'm more than happy to share,” she said sweetly.
Ronin loved when Kai took the defense, funneled the fumers outward with that sweetness she was so able to turn on. It was so much fun to listen to her do her thing. Almost as fun as doing his own thing. He hated when girls tried to get between them. It was not only rude but stupid. There was no one who'd ever come between him and Kai. Not fully. And if someone was so aggressive as to completely ignore her while he was obviously having a conversation? Well she got the boot. This new girl however….
"Are you? And what's your name?" he asked, turning his face a bit to look at her though his expression was incredulous. He'd really wanted to just spend a few minutes of down time with Kai but this was turning into something fairly interesting. So long as Kai didn't up and leave though he wouldn't blame her if the girls got super rude.
Kai almost choked on her drink, but she did actually listen. The girl in question twisted her hair around one fingertip as she smiled at Ronin, going for a sexy and playful expression. “Misty,” she answered. “You said you two share everything...I'm more than a little intrigued with that particular idea,” she shared.
Ronin turned more fully toward Misty, catching Carrie out of the corner of his eye and knowing that if looks could kill, all three of them would be dead. So what? He was having fun. "Misty, would you say you're a very giving person? Because I was hoping you'd give me your dress. If we share everything, I want to share your dress. Can I wear it? It's so… sexy." He leaned toward her and pressed a kiss to her ear before whispering, "I'm gay. That's okay, isn't it?"
Kai had no clue how Ronin was going to deal with this one. At all. Because holy crap. She blinked then choked, coughing to hide her laughter when he asked for the girl's dress. Misty, on the other hand, merely smiled. “If you want it, it's yours,” she told him. When he whispered, she frowned slightly, then whispered back. “You don't seem gay, you sure you just haven't been with the right girl? Or girls, for that matter? Your friend there is beautiful, you're gorgeous, I'm gorgeous...it could be one hell of a good time...”
Ronin glanced at Kai as he listened to Misty. He pressed his lips together. "You are so right. She really is gorgeous. And so are you. I think you two would make beautiful babies together but I just couldn't. I'm sorry." He was working so hard not to laugh at Kai's reactions. He'd never really had to work this hard to get a girl to back off. The challenge was becoming a lot more fun than he'd expected but he still kind of wished he could have like five minutes alone with Kai.
Kai crossed her legs, eyeing the two of them. She leaned a little closer to the two of them, giving Ronin a look, playing the part. Because at this point, she couldn't resist. He was the one who opted to throw potential threesomes on the table. “Are you really sure, Rockstar?” she purred, batting her eyelashes and everything.
Ronin looked at Kai as she spoke. Then back at Misty. He hadn't counted on Kai adding to the rhetoric but now that she had, she was so in. He gave Misty a glance. "I'm … I can't …" he said and pushed past her as though he couldn't keep himself from Kai. And once Misty was out of the way he put his hand over Kai's mouth and made sure to look like he was really making out with her, his lips on the back of his own hand until he almost dissolved into laughter.
Kai also had a huge problem keeping herself from bursting into giggles. She did let her hair fall to half cover them as well, to aid the illusion. Sure, for just a second she thought he was actually going to kiss her, but it was still a play going on. Right! She'd definitely play her role damn well. She made noises that would definitely be heard by those nearby, and when she pulled back, it was with a gasp and a shuddery utterance of his name.
Somewhere in the middle of all of that it stopped being just a joke. At least, that was what it sounded like and his body reacted in sync. Though thankfully it didn't last too long because when he pulled back he realized what the hell he'd been doing and thinking. Kai? Really? Yeah okay. He sat back and drank someone's drink. Something that burned and made him grin. Misty seemed to be gone and the group of girls was missing too. Result!
Kai glanced around a second too, then swatted his shoulder. “How could that not have gone the way it did?” she asked. “Of course you were gonna get a taker!”
Ronin glanced at her thinking that, from her end, there were probably a million more ways that could have gone but where she'd taken it. But he shrugged because he wasn't mad or anything. "I didn't want one. Shit, seriously. I just wanted like two minutes with you to get my head back on straight. Do you want to go somewhere for drinks after this? Because really, I need you at this point," he said and laughed a bit.
Looking at him, she sighed, an affectionate sound. Leaning over, she gave him a hug. “You know I'm all yours, whenever. Of course we'll get drinks after,” she assured him. It was moments like these that reassured her that he wasn't going to wind up bottoming out. That he wasn't going to get heavy into drugs, he wasn't going to be that guy that banged six groupies after every show. He wasn't going to wind up some cautionary tale every other musician ignored on principal.
Ronin had no grand ideas where SMH was going. He had no grand ideas where he was going. Basically he was just having fun. That was all he wanted but he really didn't want shit. Which was what it felt like when anyone tried to stop him from having time with Kai. She was integral to his life. Had been for a very long time. She was his favorite person. "Good, good," he said. "But obviously if you hook up, just text me." It was almost absent to request that but if she ever did that? He didn't know what would happen.
“Psh. Someone would have to plead a super good case to get me to go home with them.” Which was true. It wasn't that she didn't get her own opportunities either when she went to shows. She got hit on. She just viewed those nights as Ronin nights. But she refocused them either way. He'd said he wanted a minute with her to get his head back on straight, so she did her part with that. She leaned way over to catch his eye, and she spoke only loud enough for his ears. “You're awesome. You're talented, and all these people? They're here to see you. You're making the world a more exciting place for a few hours and that's fabulous. But you're still Ronin Cross, a guy who's sweet, funny and far more cool than any of these groupie bitches could even guess at.”
Ronin snickered a bit and agreed with her that she had far better things she could be doing than trying to fend off unwanted groupies with him. He was just glad she did it. He wasn't sure what he'd do without her there to ensure they believed him when he made sure to express how not interested he was. Even if it came down to really making out with his hand while Kai was in contact. He listened to her platitudes and rolled his eyes until she started in on the more sentimental stuff. Then he smiled at her quietly for a moment. "Okay, I know I pay you to say those things but thank you," he said. He didn't pay her, he didn't expect it from her. For some strange reason he wanted to kiss her for real for a moment before he realized he'd gotten WAY caught up in the moment thanks to whosever drink he'd downed a moment ago. He pointed a finger at Kai. "You should've gone into acting!"
Kai laughed. “Yeah, and if I'm going to be fending off threesomes, then I should get paid waay more than those magic beans you handed over. They haven't even sprouted yet! I was promised an ice cream tree!” she teased. “And whatever. No thanks necessary. You save that for when I do something really awesome. Liiiike....” she paused, wracking her brain.
Caught up. Yeah. He'd had too much to drink. His mouth seemed to redirect toward hers for a moment and then he shook his head, sitting back. "Like wake me up by jumping on me while I'm sleeping and eating cereal? Because that was how our number one song got written. Bitch," he added on teasingly.
“Yeah, like that!” Kai said brightly, winking at him. She saw behind them that a few girls were starting to edge in closer again, so she got closer to him, putting her arms around his shoulders, nuzzling in against his cheek a little. “You realize that right now, you are hotter than you've ever been in your life? I'm pretty sure you're setting girl's panties on fire with a mere glance tonight,” she teased. Though, there was a note of truth in there. She wasn't blind by a long shot. And as much as she knew she needed the occasional reminder that they were just friends, and all that, she still fell just as victim to the sway of him as everyone else. She was just good at telling herself not to fuck up what they had by doing something stupid.
Ronin crossed his eyes at her. It was his only defense because the closer she got when he was drinking and on the high of a gig, the more the barrier between reality and something else broke down. That something else being this idea that going somewhere new with his relationship with Kai was a good idea. It wasn't. It couldn't be. Just because he'd been drinking. That was a dumb reason to change the dynamic. Especially because he so adored what she was. That living, breathing spirit that kept his head level. "Thank goodness you're only talking metaphorically about the panties," he said and laughed. "But I'm so writing a song about that now. You're sure you don't want to come out with Perfect Tommy and Misty and me?" he teased.
“Yeah, it would be a huge mess,” Kai agreed mock seriously. “Flaming bush everywhere...or not, depending...” she smirked, thinking that he kinda smelled nice. Sure, there was sweat there and all, but she could still smell his aftershave mixed in with a distinct Ronin-scent she liked. “And yeah? What's the hook going to be? 'Better take yo panties off girl cuz you don't wanna get burned!'?” she asked. “And psh! I think Misty and PT should find a nice dark corner to defile all by themselves, don't you?”
Ronin almost paused before laughing uproariously at her 'flaming bush' reference on so many levels. "I really don't want girls without panties. That's a bad, bad idea. They want to procreate and I'm just not willing. What else can you bring to the table?" he asked dubiously though her statement about Misty and Perfect Tommy defiling a corner was almost too much. He leaned forward and said, "No more drinks for you or me. I'm camping out on your couch tonight. In like 34 minutes." He was kind of done for the night even if he had another set to play. He kind of just wanted to go home and pass out.
“Or, they just don't like thongs, and want to be comfortable, and ready for action whenever,” Kai suggested, but she was smirking when she did so. “And my couch is totally yours. Hell, we can just drive back to my place together, might as well.” She smooched his cheek. “Hey – if you up the tempo a little for each song, you can cut it down to like, twenty two minutes!”
Ronin was kind of ready for that. To be done for the evening and just on Kai's couch. Was it often that he felt like that? He wasn't sure. He'd had his fair share of girlfriends who had gotten his attention. Some of whom had also walked away because Kai's couch had called to him more strongly. He leaned toward her and imparted secret knowledge. "I think I'm done for the night. I already 'admitted' I was gay. I'm exhausted. Take me home?" he asked, downing the rest of whatever drink was there on the table.
Kai hugged him, pulling his head in against her chest. “Can't disappoint everyone, sweetie,” she told him. “You can do this. But I'll pull the car around, and pull out like a getaway driver the second you're done, okay? You can even yell 'drive, drive, drive!' when you slide off the hood of the car and get in!” Really, she would love just grabbing him and leaving too, but that wouldn’t be good for the bad. So, she needed to encourage responsibility.
Ronin couldn't deny that she had a definite point. He couldn't just bail even though he really wanted to. No, he knew that. He bucked up, fortifying himself with the idea of a fast getaway even though it would never be like that. Not really. He kissed Kai's temple and then extracted himself to return to the stage. He glanced to his bass player and his drummer. One. Two. Three. Four. And they were off.
After the set, Ronin skipped the crowd and went out the back stage door. He hoped Kai would be there with the car like she'd said but if she wasn't, he needed the time to himself. He pulled out a flask and took a long drag.
Kai enjoyed the music just as much as she always did, though she noticed some of the girls who'd been crowded around were right back up at the stage. Carrie, however, was still shooting her looks. Eventually, Kai gave her a full on stare, narrowing her eyes. Carrie looked away first.
When things started wrapping up, she left, following through with her end of the bargain, getting her car ready for Ronin when he got out the back. She figured people would be sad that he wasn't spending the rest of the night there with his fans, but they could suck it. He'd seemed like he needed a night off, and she was going to provide the hell out of that.
Ronin was so bad at stopping drinking once he started. Even though he knew he should. It was too much fun and interesting things happened. Still, he didn't take anything more from his flask and chucked it into a dumpster still more than three quarters full. After the set he'd burned off most of what he'd ingested earlier so mostly he was just buzzed and it seemed like the best idea to stay at that level and then come down. He vaguely remembered thinking of kissing Kai earlier and that couldn't make a reprisal. Nope. Their friendship didn't include that sort of thing mostly because it didn't need to, right?
He popped the collar of his leather jacket once Kai's car was in view. He thought about making an attempt at sliding along the hood in a very actiony manner but fully believed that he would only dent it. So he, instead, chose to flaunt his swagger to the maximum. Having been in that car accident had left him with some damage but he'd managed to parlay it into some pretty sweet moves, or so he'd been told by a former girlfriend. Right then he strutted like a peacock for Kai and slid into her passenger seat like James Fucking Bond, yo. Then he burst into a modified rendition of Take Me Home Tonight by Eddie Money that invaded her personal space a bit.
She smiled as he put on the show for her. She knew his stylized gait was due to their shared accident, though neither of them talked about it much. At least, not unless they'd both been drinking and got into a 'no, I love you more!' argument. When he started singing and got in close, she burst out laughing, pretending to fend him off. It was also possible she popped in for the refrain, to do the girl part for him as she threw the car in reverse and got out of there, already seeing people filing out to see if they could follow him home.
When she laughed and then sang with him all the while stunt driving as he called it, he was both pleased and grateful. And that was why he loved her so. Kai was the yin to his yang. The Cher to his Sonny. The strawberries in the bottom of his yogurt. He was waxing philosophical about yogurt. Thaaaaat had to stop. "You know," he said, settling in and buckling his seatbelt. "You have your own groupies at these things, right?" He glanced over at her and nodded, one brow raised intelligently.
“No, I have enemies. One of these nights? One of those girls is going to go all fatal attraction on my ass, and like, kill me in an alley. Then maybe she'll take a page from Silence of the Lambs, and like, skin me and wear it to the next show,” she teased, tone deadpan. “I am every girl's worst nightmare when it comes to you. Weirdly, I'm cool with that, so no worries!”
He curled his fingers into claw-like shapes, not sure why, but then did his best Buffalo Bill impression toward her. "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again…" He grinned and then gave her a look. "Sure the girls hate you, but you can't be blind to the guys who notice you. What's up with you not tapping that or something?”
“Oh my god! Never do that again! It's waaaay too creepy!” she insisted, reaching over to poke his shoulder as she passed another car on the road. It was possible Kai did sort of drive like she was racing someone all the time. When he said there were guys that noticed her, she did sort of blink. “...er...” she said, a little thrown. “I don't know? I guess I know I get hit on sometimes, but I'm there to see you guys play.” Which was probably why she was oblivious to some of it.
Ronin couldn't resist, especially when she poked him. He continued his performance. "It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it is told." He burst into light laughter then and glanced out the window at the passing night. He looked over at her though, a bit bemused. "Seriously? You don't see them? The ones who don't hit on you, I mean. The ones that stand in the wings and give me dagger eyes?" He chuckled and shook his head. "I want to know what's up with that."
Kai laughed again, pulling a sharp left, shifting as she went. “Okay you're just shitting me, now,” she accused. “You're getting dagger eyes? Please! You know it's just because every girl in the room has moon eyes for you! That ain't got shit to do with me, sir,” she concluded firmly.
Ronin tilted his head down and swiveled it slightly to the side, giving her sideways eyes. "Not shitting you. It happened quite a bit tonight. And it had nothing to do with the other girls in the room. So I just want to know why you don't try to get to know any of them. Unless…" He gave her a slightly wide-eyed expression. "Unless you already have someone you're head over heels for and you're just not interested. In which case why haven't I met him yet?"
It was weird how her mind put forth 'duh, 'cuz you are him!' internally, though she didn't share the joke. Maybe it was too close to home, there. She had to think about her response, though, because she thought he was really asking, and she should probably have some kind of answer for him. “I don't know, I guess I don't notice them,” she told him honestly.
"Duh," he said and rolled his eyes. "That's what I said. I was asking why though. You do, don't you? You have this secret, torrid affair that you're keeping from me. I'm hurt," he said and put a hand to his heart, giving her puppy eyes even if she wasn't looking. "Now it places the lotion in the basket," he threatened.
“I can feel your puppy eyes,” she accused, turning right onto the road her gallery and loft apartment were on. “Knock it off, they're unfair!” she added. “And there's no secret, torrid affair! How would I even go about having one? You'd find out about it in four seconds flat!”
Ronin looked at her, about to laugh, grinning very definitely when she said his puppy eyes were unfair. He dialed them up a notch or seven but they sort of fell flat after a moment. "Am I cramping your style, Kai?" he asked genuinely. No puppy eyes here. He needed to know. It sort of sounded like he was all sorts of in her business in ways that meant she had no privacy and no way of having anything personal. That sounded unhappy to him.
Pulling into the lot around back of the gallery, Kai threw the car into park then got out. “What?” she asked, shooting him an incredulous look. “No, Ronin, you aren't cramping my style. Why are you suddenly so concerned with my non existent love life?” she asked, getting her keys out as she got to the back door of the building.
Ronin wasn't sure why he was concerned about it but he was. He made a face and got out of the car to follow her. He wished he had his flask back. "Because you're fantastic and it is non existent and I don't understand why. I don't want to be the reason. I mean, you brought me home tonight of all people. You could've brought home one of the guys who might spice up your love life. Which, by the way, you deserve."
She smirked a touch when he spoke, as she let them into the gallery, then the nondescript door marked 'private' which led to the stairs up to the loft. Locking up behind them, she flicked on the soft light she liked in the space, large paper lanterns hung around it, giving the entire area a warm, inviting glow. “Thank you for the compliments, sweetie, but I'm good. Also – you needed me to take you home tonight, so there. Nyaa,” she said, sticking her tongue out at him. “But I'm not gonna screw some random dude just because he apparently looks at me with a 'daddy like' expression. I do deserve a spicey love life, which I will get from someone at some point. And it won't be a stranger who dares give you the hairy eyeball for being around me.”
For whatever reason, he always hated it when she called him sweetie like that. It felt like a rejection and it also felt condescending, like he was a child. He'd never shared that with her though so she didn't know. He sank onto her couch and patted the cushions on either side of him. "I think you misunderstood what I was saying," he said. "I think more highly of you than that you'd randomly fuck some guy who just looked at you. I hope you know that." He paused because he really did hope she knew that but it sounded like she thought he was encouraging random fuckfests with strangers. He zipped his lips then, deciding to stretch out on the couch and close his eyes.
Kai kicked her shoes off, relieved at being rid of the heels. Her pretty ridiculously short stature required them, though. Then she crossed the room to grab a throw blanked, and she squished in on the couch with Ronin. She'd bought one with a big seat area specifically for circumstances like this one. Tossing the blanket over both of them, she snuggled in. “I know you think more highly of me, Ro,” she said. “But hey...don't worry, kay? I swear, I'm fine. I'm not lonely. And I don't need someone in my life like that to make me feel complete or anything, either. And another thing – you know if someone was really twitchy about you they wouldn't be worth my time in the first place.” She was very serious about that. She'd dumped guys in the past for being stupid about Ronin. If they couldn't get along with him, or got a little too demanding with her time or demanded she spend less of it with Ronin, they were given their walking papers in no time.
Ronin was aware of her policy about twitchy-toward-him guys. It felt unfair. For her. He didn't care one bit that it wasn't sexy to leave after a show. He'd rather be with Kai than anyone. But he didn't see it as her choice to think the same way about him. He felt like his mooching off her, schlepping on her couch, and all the other what nots probably cost her relationships she should have been able to and deserved to have. He didn't believe her that she was fine and not lonely. He was lonely. He wasn't fine. There was something missing somewhere. But he moved closer to her and rested his cheek against her shoulder. "Okay," he said with no context.
Reaching up, Kai played with his hair. “...okay?” she repeated. “Okay 'yay I am no longer worried about your girl parts and how much attention they are or are not getting'? Okay 'man, I could really use a burrito'?” she posed. “Okay what?”
He was kind of putty in her hands when she played with his hair. Not entirely, but enough to get some kind of answer out of him. "I never even thought about your girl parts," he said very honestly because he'd tried very hard not to. "But seriously, not okay if you don't have a relationship thanks to me."
“It isn't due to you,” Kai told him. “I wouldn't trade any of this for anyone, and that's my choice, you know,” she added. “I love our time together. I love going to your shows. I love playing around at the bar when you're being mobbed by groupies. I also love my jobs, I love capturing the world one millisecond at a time. I love keeping languages alive, or trying to. My life is pretty sweet, y'know.”
Ronin was so glad she had photography and languages and all that good stuff that he knew nothing about and couldn't have even if he'd tried. But there was no amount of awesome togetherness that was going to make him understand why she didn't look at the guys at the bars and clubs the way he thought she ought to. It wasn't his business though. Nope. He looked at her and nodded. "Well, as long as you're good I'm good," he said and so he was for the moment at least.
She smiled at that, and smooched his forehead. “I could ask you why you don't go for groupies, you know. I mean, I totally don't approve of the Carrie's of the world, but I'm sure Misty had good qualities. Great taste in men and women for starters...” she said, teasing just a little.
Ronin smiled at her kiss and chuckled, remembering Carrie and Misty. “You know I do go after them sometimes. You remember Allison, right? She came to a few of my gigs and we dated almost three months before she realized I was bad at remembering weekiversaries or something like that.” He rolled his eyes. “Tonight? I just didn’t want the complications because Misty was definitely fine. Very good taste in men and women,” he affirmed with a grin at Kai.
“Okay, I veto anyone paying attention to 'weekiversaries',” Kai said firmly. “That's a girl with crazy in her heart,” she added. She kept playing with Ronin's hair, wondering if he'd been even slightly tempted with Misty's offer. She sort of had to wonder if she was. No, surely not. She winked when he agreed with her assessment of Misty's tastes. “Better believe it. You and I? We're made of hotness.”
Ronin chuckled at her thought on Allison's obsession with marking the weeks. "I thought it was nice that she was so happy to be with me for so long. I mean she was a great girl! If a little neurotic about that. I would've remembered six months like I always do if I make it that far. I put that shit in my phone." He closed his eyes briefly, drifting a little as she played with his hair. He took in a deep breath and sighed pleasantly. This certainly was the life, wasn't it? He laughed and opened his eyes though. "I always knew you thought I was hot," he teased.
She liked when he drifted like that, when she felt him relax, like the world wasn't weighing on him anymore. Not that Ronin really was the type of guy who felt the weight of the world, but he got stressed out. Like tonight. When he laughed, she shared in it, then messed his hair before smoothing it again. “You're hot chocolate. Super hot, sweet, and full of marshmallows.”
Ronin didn't feel the weight of the world, no, but he definitely felt the weight of too much of a good thing sometimes. Usually it wasn't an issue because he loved being immersed in people and sensation and life. But sometimes? Well, all he wanted was Kai and some conversation. "Damn right I am! Wait, what? Full of marshmallows? Are you calling me a marshmallow, Tahy?" He looked fiercely at her like he might just challenge her to a duel or something. One eyebrow up, jaw set to the side, eyes squinted slightly. There was almost tumbleweed passing between them.
Kai grinned. “Um...let me think,” she said, as if she were going to reconsider. Then she nodded. “Yep. You're a marshmallow. Squishy and awesome and melty.” Reaching out, she tickled his belly, even if he wasn't actually a soft body or anything. He didn't look it most of the time, but he was a little more built than most people assumed.
He immediately scooted away from her. Well, he tried anyway. Her tickling had him collapsing into laughter and writing. "Stop! Uncle!" he whined. He was really way more ticklish than most people assumed too and she knew it. "Fine, fine, I'm a marshmallow. Just uh don't tell Perfect Tommy, okay? Or my groupies. Or your sister. Damn, do not tell your sister."
Kai relented, with a big smirk. “You just proved my point, Marshmallow.” She settled in with him again though and went back to playing with his hair. “Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. Just keep that in mind, because I'll always have that liiiittle bit of leverage,” she said too sweetly.
Ronin grumbled at her. He was only half annoyed. He knew he was a pushover and a playbaby. But he didn't really want to be seen as a marshmallow. It would be nice to be taken seriously some of the time. "Whatever," he said and sighed. Though he couldn't be too unhappy as she played with his hair. Something he fought because she started in on blackmail. He closed his eyes and spoke matter of factly. "There are a ton of things I could make up about you that people wouldn't know enough not to believe. Be careful there, little willow."
Kai liked it when he called her that. She always had. It gave her warm fuzzies, every time. She gave him a little squeeze, just because. “True, guess it's a good thing I'm super awesome great and I would never do anything to deserve your wrath, huh?” she asked.
"Right," he said, his eyes still closed. He leaned into her and relaxed more. It was so nice to have someone who knew him the way she did. Someone who wasn't looking for the flaws or holding him up to expectations he couldn't meet. She knew his flaws, expected his limitations. Kai was perfect. "You're the best, you know? And not like yeah you're awesomely fabulous, gonna kick some ass and what not. No, for real. You're the best."
That only added to the warm fuzzy feelings she was already curled up in. Instead of teasing at all, she took it how he meant it. “So are you,” she told him, voice soft. She bit her tongue on anything else that might have bubbled up, knowing it probably wouldn't come out right.
Ronin smiled and glanced at her. "Sleepover?" he asked. He hardly ever asked it but it was a throwback from when they were younger. Well, not that much younger really. Just a time when sleeping in the same place felt a lot less lonely than sleeping separately. And there was mutual respect for the other person to say no without it being a massive, drama-inducing rejection.
Kai nodded, thinking if he took off now, she'd just feel that space he was supposed to be in. “Wanna bed it up?” she asked, “Or stay here?” She thought about his back, and was thinking the bed was going to be better for it in the long run, but she tried to keep her mothering over that to a minimum. At least, she kept the verbal side of it to a minimum. Thinking about his back had her feeling that phantom touch on the back of her hip, where her most prominent scar was. She often thought about getting an arrowhead tattooed over it, since it was sort of vaguely shaped like that, but she never pulled the trigger on that idea.
Ronin bit the insides of his cheeks as he thought about her question. There was firstly the fact that he was comfy and didn't necessarily want to move. But then there was also the fact that moving meant a more comfy venue. Especially for his spine. Which sometimes he sacrificed to sleep on her couch because it meant he was left alone… mostly. He never minded being messed with by Kai. Not really. "Uh well, can I be selfish and say yeah, bed it up? I mean, since you didn't say no to a sleepover."
“Yep, be selfish. Moving the venue to a big, soft, comfy bed – you dick,” she said, teasing lightly. She laid where she was for a few long minutes, not wanting to move. Eventually, though, she slid off the couch. She reached out to take his hand, gently holding onto it as she swayed it back and forth. “C'mon,” she invited.
Ronin screwed up his mouth and poked lightly at her side a few times. But she wasn't telling him no. She was inviting him to go with her and he was definitely not going to object. He took her hand and moved to his feet beside her, a little closer than he'd meant to be, still a bit tipsy. "Coming," he said in a sing-song voice. It occurred to him that just then he'd probably follow her anywhere. He grinned at that.
She slid an arm around him and hugged him lightly as she headed them to the bed. That was part of the nice thing about the loft, not a lot of pesky walls to navigate around. She got to the bed, and finally stepped back, stretching. “Close your eyes,” she said, walking to her wardrobe to grab pjs. And pj pants for him, since she did actually keep some, as well as other clothes at her place.
Ronin went where she led even though he knew the way like the back of his hand. It was funny to think she was the girl he'd been to bed with the most in his life. Except they'd never had sex. He squeezed his eyes closed tight as requested, trying to lean against the wall but they popped open again as he thought he might fall, catching sight of things maybe he shouldn't have as he intermittently tried not to fall over. Hello alcohol.
Kai stipped down and tossed on a nightgown, glancing back over her shoulder as she saw his eyes open. But also he was swaying, so she walked back over and turned him, then gently pushed him to sit him down. “Nice view?” she teased, not really asking. That, as she tugged his shirt off of his head, then dropped down to start untying his boots.
Ronin didn't catch sight of too much but he'd already been in the mindset earlier. The one he always chalked up to alcohol and timing. He saw her in nightclothes coming toward him and knew he was okay to look now without trying to keep his eyes closed. "Oh sure, yeah. Misty is so jealous," he said and chuckled. Except she was taking his shirt off. Something about that shifted in his mind. He let her untie his boots but he said, "I'll just go freshen up." He grabbed the pajama pants she'd pulled out for him and went to the bathroom to change. Which he did quickly before returning to her room.
Kai set his stuff off on a chair near the bed, the boots tucked neatly under it. Then she had crawled onto the bed, pulling the covers down for the both of them. She clicked on the little soft blue and white christmas lights that hung around the canopy of her bed, and turned off the lanterns in the loft. Her bed was a little patch of fairy lights in a sea of darkness.
It had been a little while since he'd been in her room. Ronin came back, changed into pjs on the bottom half, and stood in the doorway with a stupid, marshmallow smile on his face. There was something sentimental about it for him. He wasn't sure what but he really liked those twinkly lights. He tossed his pants onto the chair where the rest of his stuff was and then curled onto her bed in the space she'd left or him, making himself very compact.
Kai tugged the blankets up over the both of them, then laughed a little, poking his shoulder. “Stretch out,” she told him. Leaning closer to him, she almost wanted to kiss him for a moment again. Yeah, maybe she'd had too much to drink too. Her mind was all over the damn place tonight. “Get comfy.”
He felt her poke and made a face. Still he slid his knees downward, exiting the fetal position as she pulled the blankets over them. Instead he moved closer because she was warm. That was comfy in his book. His face was very close to hers in the end though his eyes were closed. "You too, though," he said, wanting to make sure he wasn't the only one getting comfy or benefitting from the closeness. One person's comfort was so not the point.
She thought if she really wanted to get comfy, she'd snuggled in, put her back in against his chest, tug his arm around her. That would be comfortable. But was it too couple-like? Would it cross some line or something? Usually she didn't hesitate with being affectionate with him, and wouldn't have thought twice about it. But with her mind had been going tonight, it was making her wonder. In the end, she decided fuck it, and she did exactly what she wanted, figuring if it was not okay he'd let her know.
Oh she'd really gone there. Well he'd said she should and he'd wanted her to. And it wasn't anything new either really. He'd been there before with her. But tonight there were things that felt unspoken between them as she turned her back toward his chest and pulled his arm around her. Usually it was just a protective stance. Just making up for the loneliness for the both of them. Tonight? He was confused. He'd obviously had too much to drink and he focused on that as the reason he pressed his lips to the back of her neck briefly before coming to the conclusion that he shouldn't have done it and turned his face downward.
Kai felt that brush of his lips and her eyes fell shut, as she exhaled a little. Yeah, she was fully into some weird frame of mind that she shouldn't be going with. It wasn't the first time he'd ever given her a little kiss...but god that had felt good. Good in a way that had her so very aware of him behind her, the contact between them. They were friends. Best friends, forever and ever. And she shouldn't be thinking about rolling toward him again and kissing him. Maybe he was completely right, and she was lonely. Maybe she was in denial of epic proportions. Maybe she was in denial in more ways than one, even. She brushed her thumb over the back of his hand.
Ronin stopped thinking about the present and half drifted into dreams. It was sort of a defense mechanism. Her thumb worked against it as a physically grounding source. He felt split. Dreamy and yet real. He wanted to talk to her and have conversations about things that they should never discuss. And he wanted to touch her and kiss her in ways that weren't okay for the relationship they had. It made him laugh ultimately. Someone had definitely slipped him something. He tightened his arms around her and whispered against the back of her neck. "Life is lighter than air with you."
She felt a light shiver at his breath against the back of her neck there. He was just doing all kinds of little things that she liked. She smiled, giving his hand a squeeze. “Yeah?” she asked. “What makes you say that?” she asked, wondering where his mind had bounced around to get there. The way Ronin's mind worked was always something that fascinated her.
Ronin couldn't believe he'd said that out loud. Let alone to Kai. It was probably the lamest thing he could have come up with. There were so many different, more important, more real reasons for him to cross boundaries with her. Still she hadn't seemed to be rolling her eyes. Didn't change the fact he thought what he'd said was dumb. He tried to cover as best he could. "I guess I mean that when you're there I don't have to worry about making mistakes. Someone will always be okay with me as I am. And I thank you for that." Lame but not as lame as saying life was lighter than air with her.
She grinned, and shifted a little, tilting her head way back to give his shoulder a smooch. She would have gone for his cheek if she trusted herself enough to do that at the moment. But her mind was going back to the look in his eyes as he moved in at the bar, when he was faking kissing her. “I like that,” she said. “I'm glad I make you feel like that. And you need to put that line in a song,” she added. “You are good at melting people’s hearts, Ro.”
His brows furrowed bemusedly. "What line? What are you talking about?" he asked. Melting people's hearts? Did he? That was an accomplishment. He'd always wanted to do that but he'd never known he could. Was she serious? Did he touch people that effectively? He zipped his lips but his body unconsciously moved closer to hers. Seeking, questing.
“'Life is lighter than air with you',” she said. “That needs to go in a song, it'll be awesome.” She felt him get closer, and wondered just how bad it would go if she just pushed back against him slightly. Probably really, really bad. They were friends. She kept having to tell herself that. But when he said things like that, and...yeah. It was hard sometimes to keep that in mind. She needed to quit drinking at shows of his or something. “You say things like that, and it just...makes me feel like the most important girl in the world.”
Ronin smiled. He didn't see any reason why she shouldn't feel like the most important girl. "You are," he said and did everything he could to stop that from turning into the moment when his 12 year old self admitted to liking her. He wasn't sure that was even true but he definitely wasn't 12. Instead he kissed her cheek and said, "Adult conversation. I need it."
She couldn't help but smile huge at his words. She was? Well. To him, she could believe that. Sometimes it was how he looked at her, or how he walked past girls swooning in his wake to come smile at her. Sometimes it was just the sweet things he said. Sometimes it was how he hugged her. She tilted her face toward him a little when he kissed her cheek. “You do need adult conversation. You can't sit around twenty four hours a day saying 'yeah, dude, totally, like, awesome and stuff'. Which is of course what I assume you and the band and groupies talk like when I'm not around.”
Ronin was sure that he wasn’t going to remember much of this in the morning. Which was probably not fair to Kai but thankfully most of the risky things had been in his thoughts alone. Those seemed to wander pretty regularly in wrong directions when he’d been drinking and ended up sleepily close to Kai. He had a feeling that she would never want to get this close if she knew the things that went through his mind that he never said and didn’t really think about when he was clearheaded. “No, you’re right about that. Sometimes I just need to spout ridiculously girly things that obviously give you all sorts of rights to make fun of me tomorrow.”
“Naw, no making fun, I'll be too tired,” she assured him. She had a hard time shifting back to her original position, but she made herself do it in the interest of not embarrassing the shit out of herself. “I'll just reassure you that you were great, and take your picture for my collection,” she murmured.
Ronin glanced almost sharply at her, though he looked partly amused. "Wait now. You're taking my photo for a collection of photos of men or a collection of photos of me?" he asked, not sure which one was funnier or more intriguing. He was sort of hoping for the former so he could grill her about the others in the collection.
Smirking, eyes still shut, Kai answered. “Why can't it be both?” she posed. “It could totally be both. I could have a million pictures of you, and a whole collection of other dudes. I could make them into a flip book.”
Ronin sat up on one elbow and looked at her, her eyes shut. "That's really creepy, you know that, right?" he asked and laughed as his head went a little dizzy. She looked tiny there. Almost like a little girl. He had the momentary thought that he wanted to protect her always. Probably it stemmed from the past when he'd done just that.
“Yep. That's me. Creepy Kai,” she answered, opening one eye to peek up at him. She quirked an amused half smirk at him. “It's totally out there of me to take pictures when one of my passions in life is photography and I totally sorta make a living off of it. Next thing you know, you'll be telling me my stalker shots aren't on the level!”
Ronin stuck his tongue into his cheek, his mouth partly open as she tried not to smile at her. "I meant the 'million' pictures of me because I know I have not sat for a million pictures. Not even close, stalkerazzi. And who are these other guys? I want to know who's in that flipbook, hmmmmmm?" He poked at her shoulder.
She laughed, then weakly batted at his hand, not nearly hard enough to get him away from her, because she didn't want that. “Hey those stalker shots are worth big money, ya know. Or they totally will be. Some day, when you're a super mega star, and I'm gonna need the scratch, and I'll sell some of the 'through the bushes' shots of you doing random shit. It'll be great. If you pose for some doing really weird things, I'll cut you in on some of the profits,” she said in a sing song tempting voice.
He gave her a look that said, "Come on now, please," and shook his head. "Like I'd make you cut me in if I was a super mega star. Hell, I'd be your platonic sugar daddy if I made it super big time. You could photograph the shit out of whatever you wanted and not have to worry about 'scratch' because I'd so have you covered." He had his big britches on, sounding sort of like a thug. "I gotchoo, baby, I gotchoo," he said and bumped his fist against his chest before laughing and resting back down against the pillow. "No, but seriously, who else is in the flipbook?"
Kai burst into giggles at that, reaching back to quickly pinch his side, though she didn't do it hart. “No, we're totally doing this, because I need pictures of you leaving bowls of milk on vacant building's windowsills, and other weird stuff to throw out there just to fuck with people,” she told him. “And people, that's who. Do you want to see? Because fair warning, looking would require real light? And I kinda think we'd both hate that right now.”
Ronin laughed and grabbed her hand as she pinched and held it out away from him but didn't let it go. He gave her an even more stern look. "Hey, those bowls of milk are for all the stray and lonely kitties out there who don't have homes! There's nothing scandalous or strange about that!" He was using everything he had not to smile but she made it so difficult. He made a face at light in the moment. "No light. I'm having an Edward Cullen moment. I don't feel like sparkling. Why do I have to look though? Why won't you just tell me?"
“I dunno, I don't feel like going over ex-boyfriends names? Like, Josh is in there, even if I keep thinking I should tie it up in twine and burn it as an offering to the gods or something,” she sighed. “And you sparkle even in the dark, Ro. It's just who you are. You should roll with it,” she added with a firm nod.
He made a face at the mention of her exes. Josh. If he'd known that was what she meant he wouldn't have asked. He made another face though not as stringent. "I sparkle in the dark. What?" He paused for a moment and then asked, "Wait. Why am I in the flipbook with ex-boyfriends?"
“I can feel you frowning,” she told him. “He's gone.” She'd not had a good relationship with Josh. He'd been borderline emotionally abusive after a while, even if she didn't see it that well. It had been Ronin who'd finally gotten her to see what was what there. “And it isn't just ex-boyfriends,” she added. “It's anyone who's laid down on my bed. There are girls in there too,” she continued.
Ronin still felt the fight brewing in him over Josh but he was sidetracked by what she said next. Anyone who had laid down on her bed. Something about that really bothered him in a way he couldn't put his finger on. "Oh, okay," he said and then, knowing he couldn't just be awkward, continued with, "Well at least there are girls." Whatever that meant.
Kai frowned slightly, before turning toward him propping herself on her elbow. “What?” she asked, knowing something was up but not what. So, as usual, she came straight out with the question. “What's going on in that head of yours?” she asked, leaning in way close, one eye squinted shut as if she were going to peer into his brain through his left eye.
He glanced up at her as she moved, not really sure how to answer her question. He really didn't know. He took a moment and then said, "Not sure, little willow. Something about that didn't sit right but I really don't know why." Which was completely honest. Even though he wanted to laugh at how her look seemed to be about to invade his head internally. His hands came up automatically to the sides of her face but he stopped himself before even remotely following the split-second desire to kiss her. "Stalkerazzi," he said and laughed lightly.
“You just want my bed to be as pristine as a disney princess',” she teased, before rolling back over and reaching into her nightstand. She grabbed one of the little picture books she'd put together, then turned on a low light lamp, flopping on her back next to him. She opened it up, and started to flip through the photographs. Some were clearly of ex boyfriends, at different times of day, in different states of dress. There were friends of both of theirs, one of Perfect Tommy, one girl who had half fallen off of her bed, and even Mai as she was flopped over looking especially dramatic.
Ronin frowned. That wasn't what he wanted. He just hadn't expected that he didn't know things about her. That she'd dated and slept with people he wasn't aware of. Not that he had a right. He blinked unhappily at the light but followed her through the book of pictures. He thought about asking names and then decided to ask nothing. For some reason the whole book put a huge weight on his heart that he couldn't explain and he wasn't going to tell her about. "I'm sure Mai loves that one," he said lightly.
“Sheeee kinda thinks I deleted it,” Kai admitted. “Don't tell her! I just don't delete these pictures. They're...I don't know. Raw, I guess. There's no preparation or anything. No staging. Just a quick little second in time, recorded.” She liked doing that. It was one of the things she loved most about photographs. It was a second, just not gone forever, no matter how unimportant it seemed to be. She flipped a few more pages, then glanced to him.
Ronin looked between the photo of Mai and back to Kai. He zipped his lips and threw away the key. It was the least he could do here. "I won't tell," he promised. He flipped through a few more photos but didn't finish the book before giving it back to her. He thought about getting out of her bed but that would be dramatic and over the top. So she had other people in her life that he knew nothing about? So what? Well… the so what was more kind of like the abrupt end of his thoughts about kissing her or other things tonight. Or ever. He didn't ever want to disrupt whatever she had going. And since he apparently never knew when that was, he had to nip it completely in the bud immediately. Done. Not easy, but done. "They're phenomenal photos, Kai."