|Courfeyrac Doesn't Need Your Stinking Participle (the_centre) wrote in valarnet,|
@ 2013-05-09 03:25:00
|Entry tags:||alyssa hamilton, arya stark, bossuet, combeferre, courfeyrac, miguel, musichetta|
So. Today, during fencing, things got hard again. I felt like, well, like a friend has described it, the sensation of being somewhere entirely else, with someone entirely else. It was not incredibly different, really. The equipment is more secure now, but beyond that, I could have sworn that I was back in a completely differentsalle, and not here, and now.
I have no specific memories of it, but I fenced, pretty frequently, in the 1830's. Most of us gentlemen did. I hope, though I really, really hope that Bossuet's family didn't let him NEAR a foil for everyone's own general health and protection, and that Joly and Chetta did not after that, and continue not to today. In fact, we should just make a rule right now that Bossuet is not allowed near anything foil or sword like. Ever. I'm not even trusting my practice stuff not to find a way to murder him in new and painful ways.
So anyway. There I was, slipping into the rhythms of everything, losing myself to everything but my body placement, my feet, my blade and the same for my opponent, and...I spaced out even further than that. When I say lost, I mean I lost the time period as well. If this is what your daily life is like, Enj, no wonder everything is so messed up for you. I mean, I get it. I really REALLY do.
So anyway. There I was, assuming it was afternoon and I was fencing in Paris, and I won my bout, but taking off my helmet and shaking out my hair, I got a look at my instructor. My very female, very gorgeous instructor. And I wondered what in the devil a woman was doing there, which was about the point where it hit me.
I can't let it keep happening, and I think part of the problem in there today was how VERY similar it was. Same hair, similar blade, everything almost the same. It felt that way because I've let myself sink into it too much by keeping things the same. I mean EXACTLY the same.
So, after I was done being insanely confused, I decided it was better that I try letting the past stay where it is, and doing something for the future instead. I don't have an appearance contract to keep up for any shows now, so it was pretty easy to call up a friend and arrange to get something new done with myself.
With any luck, not feeling the hair, trying to do different stuff, and maybe leaving my hat home will help with that. I mean, I don't want to ignore my past, but it doesn't need to make the future a living hell with should haves and regrets and everything else.
So, I present my new and improved
Insanely sexy, right?