ALSDKFOAGHRAOTRGFFDA;SLDKFHDAGT EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

*flails and spins and flails some more*

HOLY CRAP MYSTERY AUTHOR I AM OVERWHELMED AND AWED. 44K WORDS? I'M NOT WORTHY. *bows down*

And seriously, just the title is enough of a gift to make me grin like crazy. Love, love, love it.

I'm off to read some more but will be back to comment properly later.

*flails more*

My God.

I finished reading the fic hours ago and I'm still fumbling for words to express just how amazing it is.

Seriously. Stunned, overwhelmed, humbled. It's fantastic - full of spot-on characterizations, epic canon repair, angst, pain, love, hawt sex, humour, hell - EVERYTHING. This has everything. It's simply perfect.

*stamps canon all over it*

I love it. The best gift ever. Thank you so, so, so much!

SAJFLDSJFLAJDFLAJDFLAJDFL;JDFL;AJDFLJ

Ok. Going to attempt coherency. After nearly four hours spent reading I feel like I'm coming out of a dream.

First, I NEED THIS ICE SHOW IN MY LIFE. LIKE, NOW. LIKE, NAAAAAOOOO. Although, Mystery Author's description of it was the next best thing. If you ever quit your day job, M.A., go ahead and look into producing ice shows.

Aida as wardrobe mistress=HEE!

I can't even begin with the DeRoMarc stuff. I mean... every character beat, every line of dialogue, every reaction, every thought and doubt were perfect. More canon than canon. SO. MUCH. LOVE.

THE CERAMIC STOVETOP. <3333333333333333333333333333333333333

THE DREAM. OMG THE DREAM. And when Deniz wakes up to no messages... I cried. I don't cry reading fic. That made me cry.

I also LOLed, like, a hundred times. Especially pretty much any time Tom was on the page. AND ESPECIALLY, OMFUCKINGG, THE PROP ROOM SCENE. My eyeballs always instinctually try to jump ahead when I know there's a surprising reveal coming, and they tried with this too and I WOULDN'T LET THEM DAMMIT so for a minute there I honestly thought it was going to be Isabelle because ReichencestYAY but oooooooooohhhhhhh gooooooooooodddddd SO MUCH BETTER. I SQUEALED. LOUD ENOUGH TO ALARM MY CATS AND SEND THEM SCRAMBLING FOR COVER.

And of course, the pr0n... the thing with the pants at the beginning, GOOD GOD. Needed a serious cold shower.

Ok, that's all the coherency I can manage right now. I'm just going to sit here in stunned silence for a few hours days minutes before I go have a cigarette.

I LOVE HOFEST. AND I LOVE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU, MYSTERY WRITER!!!!!

Show just got schooled! That was totally epic, epic, EPIC and completely FRAKKING PERFECT. Seriously, it's completely immense. I can't begin to summarise all the things i felt and loved reading it - it was an incredible 4 1/2 hours. So moving, and so fun and so EVERYTHING. Mystery Writer I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

I loved all the comedy win: the breathless-screams that leave Flo traumatised. Roman saying shagging your skaters is counter-productive, lol. Steinkamp centre: "the arguably worst-managed business in all of Germany", totes hilarious. AND Deniz!StripperCop on bunny hunt ftw.

NIPPLEPORN. CERAMICSTOVETOPPORN!!!!!! Twisted, twisted dream threesome porn! TOMARC - TOMISGAY ON THE ZOMBIEHORSE.

There is NO WAY TO DESCRIBE HOW AMAZING ALL THIS IS!
And OMG I want the "Older than Dirt" song to be real soooooo bad.

I'm going to get coffee and pretend that I didn't just read this through the night - MODs you're planning is tremendous: thank F it's not a week day!

44,000 perfect words - a PhD of DeRo and how it should go down.

OMGWTFBBQ!!! HOLY FUCKING HELL. I don't even know what to say or where to begin. Just... dasdflkjsdjsdhlfaskdjfahsdf. That's all I'm capable of right now but it's totally your fault Mystery Author b/c it took me 4 hours to read (although that is including potty breaks, a midnight snack, and several breaks for twitterspazzing) and now it's almost 5 am.

One thing before I succumb to sleep though: I thought I was going to have a heart attack when Tom said "I'm on a horse" - that may be the best single line of fanfic ever.

I still don't even know what to say, this fic was just so overwhelming (in a good way) that I am at a loss for words. So I'll just spread my love over it like cum on a ceramic stove top. *scatters love*

LOLOLOLOL *Dying* "I'll spread my love over it like cum on a ceramic stove top." OMG that's the most endearing and beautiful sentiment ever. totes hilarious.

HOLY FUCK 44,000 WORDS? And it's worth every single one. I mean WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ICE MUSICAL! JUST THE TITLE IS PURE GENIUS! And messed-up boys! \o/ I just have keyboard spazz for your DeRoMarc stuff. ASKMFGLAKGLEWULG:EWHGO)WGUJF:;KSDFKZ I declare your fic as my canon, yupp.

And EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, I love the Deniz/Vanessa friendship. The banter, the support, Vanessa being all "Dude, solve your problems!"

And heeee, Aida as wardrobe mistress. <3

AND OMG I LOVE TOM! <333 Just adorable and clumsy. And he wants to save the dragon, d'aw. "I'm on a horse!" BEST LINE EVER. TOMARC IS MY NEW OTP.

AND IZZIE! ISABELLE JUST SPARKLES! :DDD (But LOLOL, waterproof mascara. Where are the mascara tears? How am I supposed to believe her emotions? =P)

AND OMG THE MUSICAL NUMBERS! <3 I need these DVD extras right nao.

And ahahahahahahahahah, how much do I love the fact that we actually have heavy snowfall in early December? This actually happens never. This amuses me greatly.

MYSTERY AUTHOR, I LOVE YOU! <33333

Just joined No7 today after a long time watching DeRo thanks to EKP. I'm sitting here on a snowy Saturday afternoon in Edinburgh, Scotland waiting for EKP to load this week's episodes so I wandered to No7 for a browse and came upon this story.

Applause to the author. It kept me gripped and interested. It covered the aspects of the Deniz/Roman relationship I want to see explored more - Deniz's still gnawing uncertainty about Roman's commitment to him, Roman's desire to be professionally and domestically secure; their realisation of the need to talk frankly to each other; to name but three.

Bravo

Thank God I didn't read this in the morning otherwise I would't have got out of bed all day. Therefore I spent a wonderful afternoon reading and laughing and even crying.
I LOOOOVE it so much!!!! Thank you that all of us may read/watch those presents, not only the recipient!

"A part of him that hoped this could blow over like the few awkward moments they'd had since their reunion, when Deniz would make a pointed remark about secrets and Roman would quip just a note too sharply about emotional blackmail; moments that were quickly submerged in their daily routine, smothered in the depth of renewed love and the fear of scratching the surface of forgiveness."

AAWWWWWWWW.

This is just perfect. I love this story SOOOOO much.

The fact that this story was posted on the same day as the premiere of the musical makes me very happy. WHEEEEE! <33333

This story makes me laugh and cry. So much love for it! I have to reread it because I have the feeling I missed so much when I read it the first time.

My favourite scene is the one in the hotel when Deniz and Roman finally TALK. The dialogue fits their characters and it hurts so good. This is exactly what I wanted for AWZ to do as a aftermath.

Dear Mystery Author: I LOVE YOU!!!

I love all of the stories that have been posted here. Whoever came up with the Hofest idea is genius. I know I've missed parts of this story because I'm the kind of person who goes immediately to the end before even reading the beginning, so I've read this in reverse order, beginning at the end of the story, skipping to the middle, then to the beginning, back to the end and then another place in the middle of the story, etc. No matter what order I read it, it's still brilliance. This has to be performed or published or submitted somewhere where producers and/or Igor and Denis can see it so that it happens on the show. This is definitely a story that I'll have to keep coming back to, rereading in the way that I rewatch EPK youtube playlists. Brilliant.

I... don't even know what to say about this. Except WOW and LOVE and I AM COMPLETELY IN AWE. I don't think I can even pick out highlights, because it's just all so amazing. The characterisation is perfect, the emotions real and spot-on, the plot fabulous, the angst totally heartwrenching, the sex SMOKING HOT OMG! Isabelle getting to save the day and be generally awesome is SO MUCH BETTER than anything Show's ever probably going to allow her made of win, and Vanessa rocks just as much as ever, and TOM/MARC LOLOLOL! (Speaking of, this: He pulled his hand out of Tom's trousers with all the dignity a man caught groping a computer nerd on top of a decapitated horse prop could possibly muster. That is possibly one of my favourite sentences of all time <333)

This fic is everything I could possibly have wanted - and more! - to address all the issues that have been swept under the carpet post-reunion, and I'm really just blown away by how incredibly fantastic it is. How's the Show-buying fund going? Because this Mystery Author needs to be put in charge, like, yesterday. Actually, no. Forget about Show. Can we use the fund to make the ice musical happen instead? Because I want it SO BADLY. LIKE, SO MUCH I CAN'T EVEN EXPRESS. This will probably sound completely lame, but I'll say it anyway: Through most of the descriptions of the musical, I honestly felt almost like crying, and IDEK quite why. I think it's just... for something that's fiction within fiction within fiction, it somehow felt so real, and the way the story, the skating, the emotion of the show was described, it was just so beautiful, and for some reason it really touched me. IDEK. I just adore it. <333

Anyway. COMPLETELY FUCKING AWESOME from start to finish, there is nothing about this story that I don't love. Mystery Author, you are fabulous beyond belief and I'm so, so grateful that you wrote this! <333333333333333333333333333

Through most of the descriptions of the musical, I honestly felt almost like crying, and IDEK quite why.

YOU'RE NOT ALONE. I teared up. I'm not ashamed to admit it!

<333

I'm kinda speechless at the moment, but I'll try for somewhat coherent anyway.

This was simply perfect. The emotions, the action, the switching between Roman's and Deniz' POV, the resolution of the underlying problems exacerbated by the Marc situation that never got dealt with in canon and the promise of a more satisfying future... simply perfect.

You have the voices, insecurities and motivations fo the characters down pat and... I'm running out of words again, because it was simply so good and perfect, I want to simply sit here and squee to myself.

So.

I thought since I got to read this early (mod benefits, yay!) that by the time it was posted, I'd be able to have a sufficient response worthy of the awesomeness that is this novel fic, but no, I'm still just pretty much speechless and flailing. But I will attempt to comment something because if I wait until I have the perfect words to say, I probably wouldn't comment at all, and THAT WOULD BE A CRIME. Because you, Mystery Author, deserve so much love for this, I can't even tell you.

Obviously, I love Marc and I love that you brought him back and I love the canon repair and dealing with the unresolved issues that were ignored in Show and throwing in a healthy dose of humor (Tom! Zombie horse! Isabelle's divaness! <333) to go along with the angst and insecurity. And porn. MUST NOT FORGET THE PORN. skljlsdjflsjdfkjsdflkjsflkjsd I think that's pretty much all I can express about those bits because NGHHHHHHH.

I love that you still showed a connection between Roman and Marc--a spark---that it wasn't just gone just because their brief relationship ended. And I loved how you unraveled the fragile put back together relationship between Deniz and Roman, then had them rebuild it believably so it was stronger and better and it wasn't just a quick pasted-on fix like Show wanted us to swallow.

But I think one of the most touching moments for me had nothing to do with Roman or Deniz or Marc, but it was the ice show itself and the parallels between Isabelle's character and Jenny. I don't know if that was meant to be there or if I'm reading too much into it, but I teared up so many times and invariably thought of Jenny 'disappearing' after everyone abandoned her.

I could read about this fixed-canon world forever! I truly never wanted it to end. Just fantastic, MA! <33333333333


(PS. "I'm on a horse" LOLOLOLFOREVERANDEVEROMG)

And I loved how you unraveled the fragile put back together relationship between Deniz and Roman, then had them rebuild it believably so it was stronger and better and it wasn't just a quick pasted-on fix like Show wanted us to swallow.

I came to the conclusion that Show knew that Mystery Writers (i.e. everyone here at No7_AWZ) are much better at writing believable canon as they could ever be so they deliberately left so much blanks in the storyline for YOU/US to create such beautiful work.

OMG I WAITED REALLY LONG TO READ THIS FIC, BECAUSE AS SOON AS IT CAME THRU OUR INBOX I KNEW THAT IT WA GOING TO BE EPIC, BUT I WANTED TO READ IT WITH EVERYONE ELSE; ND, IT DID NOT DISAPPOINT. OMG. I LAUGHED AND CRIED WITH THIS FIC. HOW ARE YOU SO AWESOME? HOW ARE YOU MAGNIFICENTLY FANTASTIC AS GETTING INTO THE MINDS OF THESE CHARACTERS? HOW? TELL ME HOW? I HAVE NOT YET RECOVERED, OR THAT IT EVER WILL. FRANKLY, I DON’T THINK I WANT TO. ONCE I WAS DONE WITH IT I WEPT BECAUSE I WANTED MORE.

THANK YOU SO MUCH OF GIVING ME A GLIMPSE INTO WHAT SHOW COULD HAVE DONE, BUT FAILED TO DO. I WILL HONESTY BE FOREVER THANKFUL. I WILL COME BACK WITH MORE FLAILING ONCE MY HEART STOPS BEATING SO DAMN FAST WITH JOY. <3333

ALSO ALSO ALSO, THE CRACK, OH GOD. LLOLOLOL

Wow. No, seriously, wow. I'm gobsmacked by this story and kind of at a loss for words. I read most of it on Saturday and I've been waiting for inspiration to find just the right words to express how much I love it, but I guess I'll never be able to put into words how great this is so I might as well just dive in and babble.

Mystery author you are simply amazing.

Not only have you given us brilliant canon repair- exploring all the issues left unresolved and unsaid on Show between Deniz, Roman AND Marc(thank you SO much for that), but you've also written everyone perfectly in character.

I love the hopeful ending with Deniz and Roman talking about their problems and promising to continue to do so. What makes it so real and believable for me is that their issues aren't magically resolved. Roman still has problems with self worth and Deniz still has his abandonment issues, but somehow they've managed to communicate and make their bond stronger. This is how a healthy relationship works. It doesn't work by pretending problems don't exist. Although, I guess this is not the forum to complain about the current state of AWZ, so I'll shut up about it. *g*

What's even more impressive is that this canon repair is served up with wonderful doses of wit, warmth, humor, hot sex and a freaking awesome musical on ice. What I wouldn't give to see Roman and Marc's musical on ice.

There are so many brilliant quotable moments that I feel a bit overwhelmed and almost unable to do so, but I will try. Just know that anything I left out is merely accidental or because I want to take pity on anyone who might read this so I will avoid quoting back the entire story to you.

Love the inside jokes: "I'm on a horse.", and the conversation with Vanessa about Deniz becoming a cop, or a stripper cop. LOL! Also wonderful to see Vanessa being awesome, supportive and strong. This is the Vanessa I adore! I love Izzie to pieces and I admire your portrayal of her (sans Katja, thank christ). Another favorite moment was Tom arguing that the dragon should live. Hahaha. So funny and in character.

Did I forget to mention the sex? With ceramic stove top defilement included. Hahaha!

P.S. I love you. Madly and passionately. *mwah*

What's even more impressive is that this canon repair is served up with wonderful doses of wit, warmth, humor, hot sex and a freaking awesome musical on ice.

Seriously, if everything were resolved this way, the world would be a much happier place.

Wow.

Uhm. Yeah. Just... wow. DUDE, THIS IS INCREDIBLE. AWESOME. LITERALLY. I MEAN, NOT ONLY THE LENGTH (SERIOUSLY, HOW? HOW DO YOU DO THAT AND MAINTAIN INTEREST? *AMAZED*) BUT THE STORY.

The characterisations were all utterly perfect - right down to gestures and tones of voice. I especially loved Vanessa. You've restored her to her former glory, and for that, I love you. Vanessa's Awesome shines through in this piece.

Isabelle and Tom were absolutely awesome, too - I love the sibling dynamic to a ridiculous degree. Maybe it's from having two brothers, or something, but it just ang so true - the obvious love but the constant bickering and mockery and squishy-one-sided-reluctant-but-not-really hugs and putting up with each other's nonsense with both exasperation and amusement. LOVE IT.

Even though it was brief, that road-trip was one of the best in existence, too. Haha, I loved the three of them, because it *is* such an odd combination of people, and they do all have little quirks that don't really mesh (as people do). But I adore Tom's eternal cheeriness, although I imagine that he'd have a nasty streak as cold and scathing as his sister's. And the dynamic between Roman and Tom was sweet, too. The change from Roman being slightly irritated with his optimism and not particularly caring for him any which way, to the slight respect he develops for him during the days in Stuttgart, even though he still wants to murder him. He's annoyed beyond reason with him, but there's still a slight bit of respect. And then to awesomely cracky lust.

And Florian! Haha, poor little traumatised Florian. I love the way you've written him - so observant and yet so oblivious. He's one of those characters who is so caught up in himself that he just doesn't *notice* other people's problems, but if he cares to, he notices everything quite keenly.

I know it's already been mentioned, too, but Deniz's dream! Man. I was kind of torn between, "Mmm, almost-threesome" and, "No, wait, almost-rape!". And that was just perfect for how conflicted Deniz must feel. I mean, he came. Dreaming of that. That must be bloody frustrating, and no less confusing.

Heeeh, and the confrontation between Deniz, Roman and Marc backstage at the Eispalast. WHY DIDN'T SHOW GIVE US THAT? WHY? That was exactly what needed to happen. This whole story was what needed to happen. (Not to mention the ice show, because I was ready to kill Show for not delivering on that *sadface*, but now I'm not so sad because IT'S HERE!).

And I was about to kill Roman, too, if he decided that he needed to work things out with Deniz and left the ice show (is that failed fangirling? IDK). It's just so very not-Roman to do that - to walk away from something like that, and it's so very not-Deniz to demand it. There would be something fundamentally wrong with Roman walking away from Slayer to talk with Deniz - fundamentally not-DeRo. And the dynamic afterwards is just... GUH! Fabulous! It's so well done - Deniz agreeing by offering to help, but still not agreeing; respecting Roman's decision, but not really liking it.

And also, I dig the little Igloo-based references you've stuck in. Aida! Steinkamp/Ozturk family dinners! Strippercop! I'M ON A HORSE! AHAHAHAHAHA, I ALMOST DIED AT THAT, I HONESTLY DID. OH MY GOD.

Alsoalso, POINTS for the Johnny Wier reference. Just 'cause. And 'sword' innuendos on ice? *love* And the fangirling of the audience when Norman kissed Andre? Priceless and oddly touching.

Finally, I love that this piece gives closure to the RoMarc storyline, but only to the extent that anyone ever really gets closure. It'd be silly to consider Show's resolution as "closure", and this story has the perfect amount of leftover 'what ifs'. There's still something between Marc and Roman - they're always going to be more-than-friends, even if that 'more' isn't necessarily romantic. They know each other well, and connect on a very deep level that kind of transcends friendship even without romance or sex.

It also gives a bit of closure to the JeRo thing. It's anoyed me that Show never really acknowledged the fact that Jenny and Roman have known each other for a good decade and a half, and were best friends for most of that. Roman seeing Jenny in Isabelle, and especially the connection between Jenny in Eltara, was a lovely touch, so poignant.

And I have no idea how you did it, but Tom/Marc works. IT WORKS. THEY'RE ADORABLE. THEY SHOULDN'T BE ADORABLE. BUT THEY ARE.

AND OH MAN THE END. THE END WAS JUST AWESOME. SO HOPEFUL AND SWEET AND YET SO WELL-FITTED TO THE REST OF THE STORY. The metaphor of the dragon and the parallel of The Eskimo Kiss of 299; Marc, Tom and Isabelle laughing together; refrences to leaving Essen... I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE THIS STORY. FOREVER.

(Also, the sex. MROW. Poor ceramic stovetop; although I'm honestly surprised it's survived un-defiled for this long.)

i am not going to read the other comments right now, let me just say: i have to come back another time to comment. i loved this so freaking much (people who follow me on twitter might have had an inkling how much...), i dragged the read out over three days. i just didn't want it to end.
so yeh, for now, have my love, fic. and author. undying. love. BBL!!!! <333333333333333333

Mystery Author, let me just say earnestly that I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get to this! I've been crazy busy and I've been fitting in pages wherever I could - picture me squashed on the couch between textbooks, wrapped in a power cord, fiendishly hogging pages to my chest (YES I PRINTED IT OUT OH GOD IT ATE UP SO MUCH PAPER LOLOLOL). BUT I'm done now! And can I just say WOW! That was possibly the best thing I've read about DeRo Ever! And there are some amazing pieces out there. The characterations was so deftly handled, I don't even know how you do it. You must have started this as soon as the HoFest starting-gun fired to get that much written in time! How many weeks did you spend on this, honestly??!

I love Isabelle, to an amazing amount really, considering how poorly she's represented on Show, and you pick out all her best details and her flaws and abrasive elements, and weave them into the PERFECT outlet for her character. I mean, how perfectly suited is she to taking on this lead role last minute? She has the talent and the determination and the beauty and the intensity of character, and she has Roman, who somehow knows/ all this about her perfectly, better than any coach could really be expected to, because that's who he is too. He sees people with such microscopic empathy, especially when it comes to ambition, which his dearest friends and lovers have never understood about him, I think. It's only people like Jenny and Isabelle, the athletes, the competitors, who truly comprehend this part of him, and so in some ways they are the people to whom he is most valuable. So I think strangely my favourite pairing of the whole fic is actually Roman/Isabelle and how they work together the way they do - sparks and anger and tantrums and above all the NEED TO SUCCEED. And gobfuckery, do they do it!

The whole musical - it just blew me away. Honestly. I was seeing it, reenacting it, living it right inside my head. My surroundings disappeared in the way that only truly great storytelling can do for me, and I was there, part of the performance, but better than being in the audience, because I was seeing through the eyes of someone who loved and lived and breathed the show, and knew what it all meant. And that's something that no real-life experience can ever bestow - the underlying knowledge of watching something unravel that you devoted yourself to heart and soul, but without any of the anxiety and exhaustion and countless rehearsals, because me, the reader, I'm fresh to it all, and able to sit back and just go "WOW" at the masterpiece unfolding before me. There was such intensity to it, and your descriptions of the skating... I just wanted to kiss them.

And none of this is even getting to the DeRoMarc connections. Holy cow, Mystery Author, you nailed them, one and all. Such closure. Such sensitivity to some truly subtle vibes. The scene where Marc and Roman are agreeing by the side of the rink that this is it, the end... how perfect can you get? Yes! I thought. That's it. That's right. And Deniz being simultaneously so mature in some ways, and yet so human in others - reacting helplessly to how he feels, struggling to be good about it all, struggling to be superhuman, while trying to say his part too. I love what you've done. There is no single PoV here. You give all of them equal perspective, and such different perspectives they are. How do you do it? Get into their heads equally, with such conflicting layers of emotion. I have a hard enough time understanding one character whenever I'm writing, let alone trying to get into the heads of multiple people.

And your writing, the style, the elegance, it's masterful. The whole internet should know about this fic. It's genius. Why isn't everyone required to read it? It's the best testament to the value of fanfiction I've seen this year. What in canon was a poorly done portrayal of a fascinating dynamic, this fic makes right. It's full-body plastic surgery. It's sculpting a frog into a, well, a dragon. It's beautiful. Classical themes of quests and starcrossed love matched to modern themes of same-sex relationships and strong women succeeding because of who they are, not because they hide it. Ack, and I'll stop writing an essay about it. But I seriously do want to get my book-designer fingers on it and turn it into a proper bound book so I can have it on my shelf and reread it whenever I want.

Kate, you're one very, very lucky gift recipient!!!

Sorry for being late to comment on this, but somehow it's not easy to find the right words for this, and having just read Alsha's wonderfully phrased review doesn't make it any better.
But I'll try anyway.


OH MY GOD! WHAT A READ! What a freaking beautiful, moving masterpiece of a story!

Don't even know where to start... Ok, maybe at the beginning: The title

SLAYER – Love Hurts (And Then The Mop Goes Into The Dragon)

Here we have them , the three components that make me love this fic to silly amounts.

SLAYER : Hell, I feel like I've been there, like I've been sitting in the ranks of the Eispalast, having seen battles fought, dragons die, horses fall apart and beautiful skaters spinning across the ice.
And like I've personally met the people who made it all happen and the ones whose dream just came true
I LOVE this ice musical to bits (and especially Isabelle's part in it, yay for her going for it and saving the show, and for finding her strength and for just being that universally lovable character that she is in this story, oh show, why don't you see it!) and if I don't find the DVD under the Christmas tree, my family will have to suffer a very mopey Momo over the holidays.

Love Hurts: So the messed up, angsty boys are back. Including Marc. Marc! Didn't think it was possible to love him even more than I did before, but this story proved me wrong.
Oh Marc, so cool, so arrogant, so strong and yet so fragile and sad! My poor heart.

And Deniz and Roman, and their inability to communicate, with all the hurt, insecurities and misunderstandings that this brings with it. So stabby and so poignantly described.
And when finally they do talk in the end, everything is so in character with the boys as we know them, there's no easy solutions, no brushing aside of the past, no unbelievable character growth, it's still two deeply scarred, flawed but deeply loving people holding on to a beautiful thing, trying to make it work again.

And the porn! Although I would not call it that, really. Not that there's anything wrong with a healthy dose of it, but I think porn is mostly about instant gratification, like binging on chocolate or something like that, nothing to reflect over, once it has served its purpose. Your sex scenes are far more than that. Character studies, ways of showing how those boys express their feelings, their fears, their anger, themselves really, through their bodies when words fail them. So well done!

The final scene! Closing your piece with an eskimokiss on ice is such a perfect ending and I love the dragon, probably not dead but just asleep. It has a sort of double meaning for me.
It might represent the ugly beast that has not been slain completely, but just put to sleep, ready to raise its head again, inconveniently, at unexpected moments, on the other hand, like Tom says, dragons are lucky charms, and I could imagine Deniz and Roman living their life and love under the protective wing of a lucky dragon, not because it's destiny, or because they deserve it, but because they are, well, lucky.
In my canon, I will go for both.

(And Then The Mop Goes Into The Dragon) : Now to the lighter bits. I love the humour of the story, the inside jokes, waterproof mascara, ceramic stovetop, and best of all, of course, “I'm on a horse”. I died when I read that!
And all the characters are so spot on.
Klutzy, annoyingly optimistic, nerdy, dragon loving Tom must be my favourite.
And Tom/Marc should be so wrong, but it works! Crazy!
Vanessa: restored to her feisty, wordy, insightful, awesome glory. So lovely.
The interaction of the Wild brothers, so believable.
And Isabelle of course, I've already flailed about her part in the Slayer scenario, but I fell in love with your characterization of her in her very first appearance:
Bratty Deniz and bossy Isabelle, so much love for this scene.

Ok, I'll stop now, I've refrained from quoting anything so far, did not want to add additional length to my rambling.
But to wrap this up I have to quote Deniz' feelings towards the ice musical because they reflect my own thoughts and feelings when it comes to a certain soap, that I, like many of you, used to love to bits.

"Yet here that shape was, opening up on the ice before him, a tale of hope and magic and betrayal, involving real people, real feelings, and if it all was wrapped in the clichéd cloak of musical, an apt lyric for every change of heart and every whimsical distraction, still it was no less real for that, nor less entrancing.
Deniz hadn't expected it to be like this. Hadn't expected to be moved.
He hadn't bargained for this. He didn't want to care. He didn't want to get why this dumb show mattered."

But yes it mattered, and if only, because it made you, Mystery Author, write this beautiful tale that gave so much enjoyment to the likes of me.

Thank you!

From the very start of this - seeing Roman Wild's subconscious crack through the ice in bright pink, writhing form - I'm swept up in the most amazing tale that I don't want to ever, ever end. (Thank goodness it's so long!! Wheeee!)

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WROTE SLAYER! THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER!!! I love how you did it, with every scene being so in character and written in a way that I could see so easily played out on the screen. I hesitate to say it's "soapy" but I actually do think that's what I mean - that it has the same pacing, the same twists and turns, the same overheard comments and bad timing and wonderfully misunderstood misunderstandings as Show did when it was at its best. I love how you brought in the whole ensemble with resolutions that MADE SENSE with such a sense of integrity for their characterisations, and how in the end this feels like the resolution that would have made great television! AND WHY ARE YOU NOT WORKING FOR RTL!!!!!

But I guess I should go back to the start and go through in order... because even the opening scene is perfection. How much do I love Deniz teasing Roman about his age, and their banter, and that Deniz is wearing those sweatpants that reveal EVERYTHING. (Yeah, you know the ones I mean.) I am just blown away by this whole opening scene, with how much is packed in here - their morning of domesticity, the amazing HOTNESS of the smut, and just the whole level of comfort that you set up in such an amazing way, all to lure us into a feeling of security that you topple, completely, with that innocent little announcement in the paper.

And the announcement ... how I'm tugged in two, thinking, "well done, Marc," and "shit, Deniz." Actually in threes, because to see Roman's dream come alive like that, I want to give him a hug and say "this was your doing too, you know." And I hate that he can't celebrate that, but I don't want him to celebrate that because it will hurt Deniz, and I want him to go see the premiere and support Marc (and see his vision come to life), but I want to slap him and say, "are you fucking kidding me? how could you even consider that?" As you can see, I'm feeling quite conflicted in my reactions here. I guess you know that's why I love it so!

If there was no Marc in this fic, if there was no Slayer, if it was just Deniz and Roman, I would still love this fic beyond belief because YOU BROUGHT IN THE VIDEO GAME!!! Deniz doing pair skating again with Izzy is awesome! I love how you recognise the difficulty in shifting back from hockey to figure skating - IT IS NOT THE SAME, SHOW! - and how Izzy's initial smugness turns into some real support once she sees what he can actually do, and him smacking her down about the synchronicity (which he never had trouble with with Roman!) is pure gold. (And you know, this kinda makes me wish they would do another pair skating plot with Deniz, he's wasted in hockey (and what a pretty face, we don't want any teeth knocked out!).

OK, and then there's Deniz's feeling that all will be fine as simultaneously Marc calls ... and this is what I mean by soapiness, but in a good way, in that I can see this mis-timed coincidence that changes everything happening on Show. (With dramatic eyeflash, of course!) Here my instinct is to feel for Roman, because he does deserve to see the show, and in a perfect world no, he would not have to ask for permission. But then there's this: It wasn't that he didn't believe Roman. He knew the phone call was as innocent as it was possible to be, under the circumstances. But that didn't change a thing about the fact that the sight of Roman like that struck too close to home, and home was a minefield of clumsily disguised insecurities these days. Any second one of them might erupt, and so far the only way either of them seemed to have dealt with that was to avoid them, carefully stepping around them in the vague hope that given enough time, they'd eventually defuse automatically. And that right there is the problem. I don't want him grovelling, I really don't. But there needs to be a certain level of... I don't know, empathy I guess, for Deniz's situation, and it's hard to have that and feel a sense of indignation (even if motivated in part by guilt) at the same time.

(Also, this is the minefield that they should be navigating on Show. Just saying.)

At the same time, I want to shake Deniz and say "but this is your doing too, mister." Because he's the one who said "just kiss me" and who talked of cheeseburgers, and it's so in character for him to linger after dinner playing video games and wanting to avoid the inevitable. (LISTEN TO VANESSA, DENIZ, FOR SHE IS WISE. After all, she has more experience as a sounding board for other people's love lives than anyone else on the show. DO AS SHE SAYS!)

But I have to paste this next part in its entirity:

In the stillness of the room, he could hear Roman swallow. "Deniz, I love you. The ice show has nothing to do with that. It doesn't change anything."

Loving me didn't stop you from cheating on me. He wanted to say it so badly, and damn the consequences. The words were in his mouth, ugly but necessary, graceless shapes like lumps of clay. But then Roman rolled around and reached out to touch him, tentative fingertips against his shoulder, and somehow what came out instead was, "If it's that important to you, you should go."

Roman's fingers stilled, resting lightly on his collarbone, and Deniz could hear the breath catch in his throat.

"Do you mean that?"

No.

"Yes." It came out firmly, full of assurance and confidence, and just when had he become that good a liar?

Since he'd learned from the master, he supposed.

*FLAIL* I don't even know what to say about this passage, other than that the way what he wants to say and the words that come out instead just BREAK ME EVERY TIME and that last line.... fuuuuuuuuuuck. I hurt so much for Deniz here, and I want Roman to just wake up and SEE what is right in front of him, but he can't, he never did, and that is this blind spot that Roman's always had when it comes to Deniz and that he should not have, because on some level he's got to know he's lying just like he was when Deniz told him to do the ice show, but it's this selfishness that interferes, that convinces him, this time, to just take the words on face value because he won't like what he hears if he digs any deeper. Oh Mystery Author, there could be whole fics on this, and yet you put it right there one simple passage, and it's elegant and simple and PERFECT.

And then AND THEN after I'm feeling all sniffly over poor Deniz, you go and pull me to Roman's side because this is Roman's dream and that's got to affect him so strongly to see it emerge like this, his ideas but changed, and yeah, there's a curiosity there that would be irresistible. And that's made worse by this unnatural silence from a person that normally worries every problem to death.

And this: Deniz had a way of touching Roman that was both endearing and somehow heartbreaking: making small, unselfconscious snuffling noises while burrowing into his ribs, his head entirely buried under the blankets; his hands would twitch and then tighten on Roman's chest, pulling him closer, rubbing one foot against his calf or nudging his knee against Roman's thigh, warm breath puffing into his neck. They were undisguised and casually possessive without being smothering, these motions, and Roman treasured them as much as they terrified him, because sooner or later surely Deniz was going to wake up and realise that what he was holding on to with so much determination was hardly worth the bother.

What I love about this writing, SO MUCH, is how these observations aren't some kind of expositiony dump, but take place in the normal course of their activities, kicked off by little things like a program carelessly lying in plain view, or inviting Isabelle to come to Stuttgart, or trying to get comfy in a too small car. You give us all the info we need to understand exactly how these characters feel (and the depth of your understanding of them is incredible) and all the issues that they're dealing with and even how they're going to react to what'll be happening, without it feeling all anvilly and unnatural. I love it!

OK, I really should jump ahead because otherwise I will spend all night on commentspamspaz, but I just have to squee over TOM/DRAGON OTP! His excitement perfectly balances Izzy's cool knowing appraisal of the situation. Also, DRAGON! <3333333333333

Let's talk ice show, okay? THE DETAIL YOU PUT INTO THIS IS INSANE AND OBSESSIVE AND INCREDIBLE! The name dropping cracks me up (HAI NORMAN! HAI MIKKELINE! HAI AIDA!), as does Mdme. Fouret's cool demeanour and all the tragedies befalling the production (that damn dragon is hilarious!) and just the billion things that have to be juggled to get such a monster off the ground. But what I especially love here is how you bring in the personal side of it too, Isabelle struggling to get into character and Roman thinking that Ten years ago, Kerrick and Yuri had been a blurry vision on his and Marc's sketchpads: a gay couple in an ice musical telling a fantasy story, a novelty in every way. To see them here – Norman casually wearing the tunic and sword that Roman had once sketched on a beer coaster next to a gleaming dragon, Isabelle enacting Queen Eltara's turn to the dark side – was a constant flash of surreal wonder. It just underscores why this is important to him, to see this come alive and to work, and why he cares so much about this - not about Marc or what they had, but about the Show - that calling Deniz slips his mind.

All this chaotic activity at the Eispalast makes such a fabulous contrast with Deniz back in Essen who is just waiting... and waiting... and of course being visited by those nightmare images (when he's not listening to Vanessa's dolphin laugh LOL). And with Tom, whose happy-go-lucky approach should be annoying but is just somehow endearing (and why does nobody call that boy a puppy? I do not understand). I love it so much when he says, "You always screw up dress rehearsals phenomenally. Remember in third grade, Romeo and Juliet? When you peed yourself on stage?" That's such a bratty brother thing to say!

The stress and relief of the ice show prep is so consuming that in that moment of quiet when Roman and Marc are standing together, I took a big breath and let myself be lured into that false security again, same as at the start. That gentle connection in their touch, Marc so familiar to Roman who see his mouth tilted slightly in his usual lop-sided smirk, the one that looked as if he mocked at everything, as if his confidence knew no limits. If you didn't know him better, and their shared... okay, I have to say it, their joint birthing of this production, it gives them a connection that for a moment I want Roman to be able to indulge, to enjoy. It's his moment and he DESERVES it. *clink*

But, of course, timing is a bitch...

The madness of the actual performance is perfect. I cannot tell you how impressed I am with the pacing of this story. It's here at the end where this is most apparent, when you mix humour and pain and pathos and it turns out in this complexly layered writing that leaves me pulling my hair out in one instance, shielding my eyes and peering through cracks in my fingers the next, and then laughing until mascara tears roll from my eyes. Deniz's reaction to seeing the show is especially worth mentioning. I'm glad that it doesn't wipe away their problems, at all, but that he's charmed by it touched me so much. I love that on at least some level he gets why this is so important to Roman.

And I love that THEY STILL TALK. And so much comes out here - that Deniz blames the ice show for starting the trouble in the first place. That's so very Deniz, I think, still not getting (or not wanting to get) the real underlying problems. I love that their talk is full of attacks and parries, it's not just an outpouring of explanation. It feels so real for how these two communicate - how it's never just on the surface, that all their issues have a maze of issues underlying them, that Roman has a past and Deniz doesn't, that Deniz lies to take the easy way out, that imaginings of what happened are sometimes even worse than the reality, and that neither one of them is ever going to be completely sure or believe they were destined to forsake all others and live happily ever after, because THAT'S NOT WHO THEY ARE.

Echoing now what so many people have already said, but THIS IS TRULY EPIC. Like a delicious chocolate sundae, and the ice show numbers at the end are the delicious cherry on top! I also have to steal what Momo said above, about the smut not being just smut, but about it revealing who they are, about it furthering the story. I may be becoming a prude, but I've grown a bit tired of smut for the sake of smut. But I love when it's used like this!

So satisfying, Mystery Author, so very satisfying. I feel like canon has been well and truly fixed.

I can't believe I waited this long to read this epic fic of epic epicness!

And squeeeeeeeeeeeee! Norman Jeschke is back and as awesome as ever! *fangirls him like WHOA* (tho this RPS of him and Johnny Weir is kinda stuck in my head now. I WOULD SELL BOTH KIDNEYS AND A LIVER TO SEE THEM PERFORM THIS ICE SHOW!)

There is nothing I can talk about that hasn't been said way more eloquently in the above comments. I just want to paw DeRo, Marc, Isabelle and traumatized!Flo for a while, before going on an epic journey to find, capture and tame a dragon for my lovely boy Tom! *adores him even more if possible*

This is one of those reading experiences where I lose all sense of time and place, becoming so engrossed in the story.
It's all very cinematic. (oh, for that DVD!) The description of actions, the spoken dialogue, the internal dialogue are integrated really well.

I love the tension of DeRoMarc throughout: the jealousy, the words not spoken, the lingering attraction between Roman and Marc, not to mention Roman's unsolved problems with career & unfulfilled dreams. All keep the story flowing.

I enjoyed the brief exchange between Isabelle and Marc, esp. the "Be careful with that../"Yes, thank you, I can tell" moment. I wonder what could have been done on the show with these two ambitious & confident personalities.

And I love that the Vanessa/Deniz friendship is highlighted here because other than the brief moments in the 990s, I miss them. I find it oddly poignant that they had that brief moment of nostalgia and realizing they grew up ( a little) while watching the new hockey players.

Thank you for writing this much needed canon repair. (And what would the world be without excessive musical cheesiness?)

(Warning: long review ahead).

What you've done with Slayer is amazing – it's truly an epic.
It's such a wonderful combination/mix of sex, romance, angst, drama, dialogue and much-needed CANON REPAIR (thank fuck!).
It really is a very complete piece of work – by that I mean you've left no stone unturned: you've addressed every issue, not whitewashed/sugar-coated anything, and everything that takes place in the fic is completely realistic and in-character.
I feel too unworthy to leave a review, but nonetheless I feel impelled to acknowledge how awesome this is.

The first sex scene: it was incredibly sexy, romantic, and intense. A big YAY for Deniz bottoming (lol). The blowjob was hot and unique and original. You write sex so very well, and given you don't have a penis - it's good stuff, this imagination of yours ;)
The way you managed to portray their lust, paired with their love for each other, was nothing short of amazing. From a simply superficial point of view, the porny parts were dead awesome – so much perfect, delicious detail.
I love the way you mention little things, like Roman hating to have his hair pulled – just amazing little details that added another level to the intimacy of the sex scene.
(Speaking of little things, the aside about Roman’s “deeply ingrained athlete's diet still [howling] in abject terror” was a wonderful window into their everyday life, as well as just being plain funny.)
The way they’re completely physically open with each other’s bodies, so completely give themselves over to each other, the full trust that’s there – it’s such a fascinating notion given how brittle the state of their relationship actually is. And you describe it so much better than I can anyway, this line was just perfect, it just says it ALL: “It didn't seem possible that the man who'd been so close to him not two hours ago – the man who'd shuddered and come apart in his arms, who trusted him so completely with his body and every emotion splayed open on his face – could be whisked away again so completely, with nothing more than a printed page of memory, slipping in as insidiously as Marc himself had.” *flounders in a sea of awesomeness*

The basis of this fic, the idea of Marc carrying on with the ice show, is perfect because it's NOT contrived (whoo!), it's workable, and it’s what makes the fic so readable and accessible.
The atmosphere in the lounge room when Roman sees the newspaper article – the tension was just palpable, I was reading it and freaking out because I could FEEL it – absolutely breathtaking stuff.

“A blanket amnesty on discussing any of the things that had gone so utterly wrong during the months before...whether or not he ought to open any doors that might not easily be closed again.”
This line is wonderful because it addresses the way they’re living almost in...fear??, tiptoeing around, not addressing what went wrong in the first place. It’s interesting because although their relationship might seem functional on the surface, the same issues as before will still linger – I just love that line, even more because Show doesn’t seem to understand this.

The exchange between Deniz and Vanessa at no 7: it’s always great to see them interacting as friends, and there was a lovely mix of humour and friendship in this.
"Who do I have to flash...I don't know, try someone who hasn't already seen everything you've got." I liked the reference to their (failed) relationship, and the fact that they’re able to joke about it, it says a lot about their friendship that they’re able to do so.

“To let the guilt dictate the very fabric of him, denying himself so utterly for the price of Deniz's trust that if he made enough of a habit of it, there would be nothing left of him to trust, refashioned as he'd become in his lover's insecurities, in the righteous claim of love betrayed.”
Not only is this sentence etched into my brain forever as a perfect specimen of the beauty of the English language, it also makes a completely valid point – yes, Roman had quite some making up to do after betraying Deniz, but there is also the question of just how far he would have to go, the effect it would have on him as an individual, and the ultimately negative consequences this would have on this relationship they're trying so hard to rebuild/cling to.

“Loving me didn't stop you from cheating on me. He wanted to say it so badly, and damn the consequences” – ouch, I loved this insight into the human psyche – of being so desperately hurt or angry that it makes you want to say terrible, ugly things – and it reminds me of one of my favourite quotes “one word spoken in anger can spoil an entire life.”

- Second sex scene (yeah, so I love smut) – again it was marvellous (superlatives are slowly but surely being exhausted here) – different this time to the first one; I found there was a greater level of desperation in this (even pre-condom hunt), “kissing and kissing him, chasing the warmth of his tongue, hoarding kisses against the looming days of absence.” There was this feeling of, I don’t know, poignancy, holding onto something that’s maybe already lost, insecurity, the feeling that nothing you do will ever be enough, not being enough for this person you love so much, of bone-deep misery... Honestly, even after about a hundred reads I still don’t know what I glean from this scene, all I know is that as a reader, I’m riding this huge wave of emotion, and it draws me in utterly.

The rimming was hot, and the comedic value of ceramic stove-top sex (a lovely link-back to ep 884) - damn, it works for me. Also funny - “Florian cooking eggs on it twice” - it was both squicky and hilarious at the same time because, *le sigh*, he probably would.
As for when Deniz was hunting for condoms in the bedroom – OMG my heart was beating at a million miles an hour, I was breaking into a sweat, just freaking out – I don’t know HOW you got the insecurity/bitterness/fear/anxiety(???) from Deniz’s headspace and transported it into mine, but WOW, it was there. All of the insecurities residing in his treacherous brain were beautifully claustrophobic, ESPECIALLY the unwritten implication that Roman was taking condoms with him to Stuttgart, and why would he need to take them, etc. Again, wow.

“The dark grey December dawn brought reality back, solid and undeniable in the form of Roman's packed bag, Isabelle's sleek little red Fiat 500 downstairs, and the cold air gathering in clouds.” The visual imagery of this blew me away, it’s just incredibly good writing, I could see the scene unfolding before my very eyes.
“Too late, he realised that they'd not even said I love you” - Oh this tugged at my heartstrings big time. The line had such a foreboding quality – it’s powerful stuff.

“Ending in an "ILU!" that Deniz found less reassuring by the hour.” Ouch, I found this depressing (in a good way!), Deniz’s despair and misery is a riveting, tangible thing that filled me with sadness (and glee because I do so love him when he’s angsty). Not every writer can manufacture that kind of emotion in a reader.

At Marian’s dinner: your ability to create these situations and get into these characters heads is amazing – I had zero trouble believing in Vanessa asking after Marian’s brothers, of Marian asking about the new Centre doctor (who is not Dr Hooker), of Vanessa being the type to take solace in talking of her sister often and fondly, of Deniz’s ruminating over Jenny. It’s only long afterwards that I realise that, no, these things I’ve read and accepted so readily are in fact not canon (although they damn-well should be), they are just so convincing and believable in their own right.

“Don't want to look like a clingy sissy. Yeah, yeah. I hate to break it to you, Deniz, but you kind of already do.” My god this was typical Vanessa, I could HEAR her voice in my head.
And lol at her striking fear into Marian’s heart: “"I think I'll, er, let you guys sort this one out," he declared, backing away.”

I loved Isabelle in this – I loved what u did with her character, fleshing her out into someone real, loveable and feisty – a far cry from the bitchy foil she is for Katja on the Show. Also, for getting rid of Katja full stop: a resounding cheer!

The dream/nightmare – I loved this exploration of Deniz's deepest, innermost fears and insecurities; his helplessness and desperation. The emotions were so sharp I found it painful to read – you had me really aching for him (while at the same time enjoying the emotional torture immensely, because I’m sick & twisted like that hehe).

The forehead-to-forehead and Deniz walks in moment: it was perfect drama – it didn’t feel contrived at all, it was powerful stuff, and I just thought GAH.
The confrontation and dialogue was great – so completely-in-character I could vividly see it playing out in my mind, as if I was watching it on-screen.

”He spit the word out with fervent loathing for the old nickname and the sly insult it sugar-coated as an endearment.” This sentence makes me orgasm every time I read it. The word choice is just AMAZING. Deniz's anger and bitterness comes across so well, I can feel it. The words are so incredibly, beautifully, magically spun together to create this thing that expresses such pain and hurt *loves*
I wasn't going to flail, but *FLAILS*

The actual Slayer musical: well that was just hands down breathtaking – amazing, sparkly and awesome. The Bill and storyline were absolutely beautiful, so incredibly well created and entertaining (I understand credit of this goes jointly to you, Lilith & D-Grab), as were the behind-the-scenes shenanigans. (For the record, I think the “placid blond rock” Norman Jeschke is a wonderful character, and I love the parallel you created between Isabelle and Andre “Andre...was given to nasty outbursts of temper and flounces off the ice when something didn't go his way. Isabelle had matched him fit for fit” - I don’t know why I like it so much, maybe because it keeps Isabelle in-character: yes she‘s an ice-bitch, but still likeable, strong, a real woman.)
Reading it, I felt a bit like Deniz, so moved by the amazing show on the ice, “hadn't expected it to be like this. Hadn't expected to be moved.”
I love how well Marc and Roman work together, how well they COMPLEMENT each other – perhaps shown perfectly by their ways of dealing with the disastrous dress rehearsal – Marc straight-forward and to the point, Roman in his role of supportive trainer/mother hen (“One arm around an upset Isabelle and his other hand patting a quietly seething André”).
I’m SO GLAD you wrote this fic because I’d hate to have missed this chance to see RoMarc working together. ROMARC!!! *sigh*

ToMarc – I didn’t see that coming, which made it all the more fun.
Lol at “fixing the horse” and Roman's inner monologue of Tom-hate/detestation. It had me laughing, while at the same time it was a great, indirect way of showing how although Roman has chosen Deniz, that doesn’t make him indifferent to Marc – that there isn't just some Marc “off” switch that he can flick.
And then Marc, lovely, lovely Marc – I’m glad he got to hook up with the blonde hottie, instead of being left to languish over Roman until the end of time. I like that you showed Marc having such a big heart - still so generous and open, despite the bitterness he might be entitled to feel following their break-up. (Personally I don’t think Roman strung him along, but I know if I were Marc, I’d probably be wallowing in resentment and thinking vindictive thoughts.) So I guess what I’m trying to say is that he’s so positive, has made it through such heartbreak to remain such a lovely, grounded person - again, best said by yourself with his “cest la vie” attitude to life.
It does make me want that threesome so bad :(

The make-up talk DeRo have – I thought this was so incredibly well-handled. I loved the “when are you leaving?” question, and the subsequent discussion.
Deniz's anger was characteristic and perfect, as was Roman's refusal to lie down and take everything that Deniz was throwing at him: “If Deniz was expecting flailing apologies now, he could damn well wait until his arse merged with that chair.”
- Deniz’s fury seemed to empower him, to prevent him from being the clinging sissy he feared he’d be, but it was his maturity which just blew me away. I mean, omg “Do you understand, I don't want to be that guy...and I don't want to bring past shit up every time something goes wrong, but I can't help remember things, or imagine things, and when something like this comes up and you don't talk to me, don't even call-" This paragraph, it just conveys so much, so much.
- Roman’s irritation, in not wanting to keep apologising and grovelling before Deniz – I liked that. I doubt any relationship would last long if one person was just continually apologising and the other kept making cheap shots/remarks about the betrayal...it’s no way to move forward (much like IGNORING the whole thing and hoping it’ll go away).
So I love that you explored Roman’s irritation (first with the permission to go to the Slayer premiere “found himself getting annoyed with it, and then guilty for being annoyed, and then more annoyed for feeling guilty,” and later over “the ungracious implication that now that he'd been allowed his foolish little excursion, he had better put it all behind him and get his arse straight back home” – he knows he fucked up and broke Deniz’s trust in him, but if he ends up spending the rest of his life apologising and pandering to Deniz’s insecurities, ultimately this would result in the demise of Roman as a person, and consequently, the demise of their relationship - again you put it so much better: “[realising] he didn't want a spineless supplicant any more than he wanted a lying cheat.”

But goddamn, I squee’d and turned into an embarrassingly pathetic pile of mush during the earnest, heart-felt discussion. I adored the link-in to the “I want to enjoy what we have, for however long it lasts" scene, and how it shows the progression of their relationship.

The third sex scene: different again from the other 2 – this time intense, so necessary, full of cold, hard love (rather than the warm, fuzzy kind – I know that doesn’t really make sense but I can’t think of any other way of putting it), not so much romantic as passionate; I got this impression of almost desperate carnal desire, a need to seal their (re)union. “Sometimes not even kissing, just breathing each other in” – omfg this writing is freakin crazy! And needless to say, this scene, too, was hot.
The “[licking] a sleepy trail along his collarbone by way of goodnight” was sweet, and sexy and charming all at the same time, and made me squeal like a 15 year old.

Marc's phone call: lol at that whole conversation, the speaker-phone incident, and wanker-Deniz.
“Tousle-haired and stubbly and looking delicious, Roman couldn't help noticing. He gave him a smile and ran a hand up his bare calf under the covers.” Guh!!!! More than any other thing I’ve read in this fic, I wish i’d been a fly on the wall for a sight of Deniz here. Guh, the image you’ve created in the space of SEVEN words *salivates*

“"I'm fairly sure we're about the same size." Only the faintest hint of mockery in his voice.” LOL, just LOL, so Marc.

I loved the tie-in of their pair-skating routine (from the gay games), almost a symbol of when they were at their strongest.
And last but not least, I adored the tickling and falling down on the ice scene, an almost-reproduction of ep 299 and their first(?) ever Eskimo kiss (yay!!) – a fitting ending indeed.

What I loved most about this was there were no loose ends; everything made sense and nothing required suspension of disbelief. It was a complete story, just a wonderful piece of work; every line was just perfect, every line just said SO much - you depicted every emotion, every action, every word, every occurrence, just perfectly, and gorgeously. I’m in awe.

(Apologia: If I have at all misinterpreted and/or taken away something completely different to what you were intending, my apologies; I’d hate to have missed the point on something this (lest I repeat myself yet again) amazing.
Also, I know this review rambles, and reads like a high school essay: discuss, analyse, back-up your analysis with quotes from the text - I guess I just got a little enthusiastic about it :).)

I have been remiss in not replying to this gorgeous review yet, although frankly it left me quite speechless at the time, and weeks later I'm still too overwhelmed to say much ;) But I wanted at least to say THANK YOU SO MUCH for taking the time to write such a long and detailed and wonderful review, complete with quotes and all! Feedback like this is like any fic writer's wet dream, and I appreciate it so, so much. You had me grinning like a fool the first time I read it and I'm sure I will return to it often. So much love for these comments, truly! <33333333333