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Tweak says, "Burn the witch!"

atdelphi (atdelphi) wrote in hp_beholder,
@ 2014-05-06 14:51:00

Entry tags:

beholder 2014, fic, garrick ollivander, garrick ollivander/pomona sprout, het, pomona sprout, rated:pg

FIC: "A Properly Improper Love Affair" for katmarajade
Recipient: katmarajade
Author/Artist: ???
Title: A Properly Improper Love Affair
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Garrick Ollivander/Pomona Sprout, Neville Longbottom/Viktor Krum (implied).
Word Count: 10,900
Warnings/Content Information (Highlight to View): *Non-linear storytelling, with the time line moving back and forth between past to present*.
Summary: True love never dies, but it may take a decade or two for things to work out.
Author's/Artist's Notes: Many thanks to my pre-readers and to the mod for her patience. I hope you enjoy the story, katmarajade.

A Properly Improper Love Affair

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magnetic_pole
2014-05-08 12:00 am UTC (link)

What a fun story! Given the summary and the first few lines, I initially thought that this would be romantic comedy of sorts*, but it developed into something more bittersweet and less tidy. I'd forgotten until this round of Beholder that Ollivander refused to condemn Voldemort outright when Harry first met him--"terrible, yes, but great"--and you make good use of that in your characterization of him as someone who, expertise aside, doesn't quite know his own moral center. He's not quite right for Pomona early in their courtship, and he realigns himself over the course of the story in a very satisfying way.

Loved the details about the modernizing wizarding world--ready-made wands, new institutions like the Leaky Caudron. Enjoyed! M.

* There certainly *is* something very comic about the long lifespans that wizards have, I'm sure of it!

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alisanne
2014-05-21 11:47 pm UTC (link)

Thank you so much! Your lovely comments made me smile.
Yes, I pondered making this more comedic but then quickly decided that events in Garrick's life made a better dramatic story. And I figured that Pomona couldn't have had that easy a life as a career woman in the 30's/40's. ;)
*nods* Garrick's admiration for magical power made him an interesting character to explore, especially since I imagine his feelings about Voldemort must have undergone a shift after his stay in Malfoy Manor.
I'm so pleased you enjoyed it! Thanks again for the lovely, thoughtful comments. :)

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	katmarajade 2014-05-08 01:43 am UTC (link)
	This looks in every way incredible, MA! I just wanted to drop a quick comment to let you know I'm in the middle of a very strenuous work trip, but this weekend when I get home, I plan to curl up with this fic and a good cup of tea. I am SO looking forward to that! Thanks in advance! (I just don't want you to think I would ignore such a gift!) (Reply to this) (Thread)

	alisanne 2014-05-21 11:47 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you for letting me know! I admit, I was chewing my fingernails a bit. :) (Reply to this) (Parent)

	lilyseyes 2014-05-08 02:40 am UTC (link)
	What a beautiful love story! I really like how you wove this seamlessly into canon. It was a lovely fic! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	alisanne 2014-05-21 11:48 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you, bb! As always, your support means the world to me. ♥ (Reply to this) (Parent)

starduchess
2014-05-08 07:30 pm UTC (link)

What a charming little romance these two have had, even if it did span a gap of 40 years. Excellent of Pomona to be her independent self in her 20s, which she continued to show all through her life and Hogwarts career. Ollivander was wonderful as his smitten young self and so foolish to loose her then to propriety. It was a delight to see them reconnect at the battle after all that time apart. I really enjoyed the back and forth moments in time; it was nice to have the story collide in the middle. Wonderful fic.

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alisanne
2014-05-21 11:57 pm UTC (link)

Thank you, hon!
*nods* I figured Pomona had to be a 'modern woman' to have her own career, and once I made that decision the rest sort of fell into place. Garrick was rather foolish to let her go, but he learned in the end, and, happily, given wizards' longevity, he had time to make up for his mistake. :)
And thanks for the kind comments on the format! It was a bit of an experiment for me, so I'm pleased it worked for you. :)

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wwmrsweasleydo
2014-05-08 09:51 pm UTC (link)

What a fascinating narrative structure! I don't think I've ever read anything like it. It could easily have been confusing, but you mastered it so well that it never was.

I loved the way you used canon (particularly the scene where Harry is chosen by his wand) to weave into the story. That's a really interesting place to choose to end it, too.

Pomona was brilliant. A real modern, independent woman. I'm so glad that Garrick worked her out in the end.

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	alisanne 2014-05-22 12:03 am UTC (link)
	Whew! Thank you! I was pretty worried that the format would be confusing, so I'm pleased it worked. :) I tried as much as possible to include canon moments although, of course, we have so few for these characters. What we did have were fun to work with, though. :) Thanks again, my dear. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. (Reply to this) (Parent)

kelly_chambliss
2014-05-09 04:40 am UTC (link)

Pomona is one of my favorite characters, so I'm always glad to see her in a long, interesting story like this. It's a charming romance edged with all the real pain of long lives spent in sometimes terrible circumstances. I like the personalities you've given Garrick and Pomona -- they are clearly their canon selves, yet so much more. You've created a full life for each of them, and I really enjoyed all the other canon cameos, too. The time shifts give an interesting perspective. And I'm glad for Neville and Viktor, too.

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	alisanne 2014-05-22 12:12 am UTC (link)
	Thank you for the kind comments! :) Pomona was a lot of fun to explore. I found myself admiring her a lot for all she must have gone through in her life. The format was a bit of an experiment for me, so I'm pleased it worked. Also, to hear that I managed to create full lives for them is a lovely compliment. :) (Reply to this) (Parent)

katmarajade
2014-05-11 05:04 pm UTC (link)

Oh, my! You made me cry! This was such a beautiful story. Thank you so much! I love your style and how you structured this and how you wove it so seamlessly into canon.

I love their sweet courtship and the old-fashioned feel of it, all novel and just a little "improper" according to society. The Leaky Cauldron as a new, happening place with its "rakish" proprietor-- hehe, YES! And Pomona making the first moves and the beautiful scene in the greenhouse and the green lacy underwear-- gorgeous, gorgeous.

Garrick is FASCINATING and I love how you expanding on what we know of him from canon. I love that he's one of the forerunners of premade wands and how his father considers him such a revolutionary for it. I love that he has multiple wands himself! And his duelling made me literally flail:

As she sees him duel, however, she knows it’s him. His movements are sparse, focussed, no fancy flourishes for him, and he seems to know what his opponent will do before they do it. Of course, she thinks. He knows everyone’s wand, and it gives him an advantage. *KEYSMASH* Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! (Is it weird that I found that ridiculously hot, too?)

And I love how you have him remembering everyone by their wand and how you played out his fascination with Voldemort. The scenes at Malfoy Manor were perfect-- they really strengthened the whole fic-- and they just gut punched me. Charity's death. Dean & Charity's escape plans. Giving us more of the established friendship between him and Luna.

Loved the flashback to selling Harry his wand. And I facepalmed at Garrick's first proposal-- yeah, I'd have reacted just like Pomona! Oh, Garrick. And how they come together again during the final battle and how he takes curses for her (and I sort of love that it's more shock/not noticing he's being hexed than brazen courage-- it's seems fitting for him, actually, without lessening the gesture.)

I'm all a-flail. This was just a beautiful piece of writing in every way. The prose, the structure, the characterization, the storyline ... yeah, I'm considering myself the luckiest of all the Beholder recipients this year! (Which is saying a lot, because it's been a great bunch!) Thank you, MA. I adored this completely. *beams and twirls*

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alisanne
2014-05-22 12:39 am UTC (link)

Yay! I'm so glad you enjoyed this! I admit I was worried, since I did try a bit of an experiment with the format. And is it bad that I kinda enjoyed that I brought you to tears? :)

As for the old fashioned feel...I tried hard to capture that, I even listened to old 1930's radio broadcasts to try to get a feel for the peculiarities of language, so I'm pleased if that showed. *g*

Hee! The brand new Leaky Cauldron seemed like a fun idea. :)
And I figured Pomona would be a forward, modern woman, so why not have her make the first move, right? :)

Garrick was fun to research! And for a man who loves wands and wandlore I thought it made sense to have him have more than one wand. *g* Hee! And I think it's lovely that you enjoyed his dueling. ;)
HIs fascination with Vodemort was such an integral part of his personality that it made a great jumping off point for him. Although yes, he clearly doesn't know women at all. *giggles*

Thank you for the lovely reaction! I'm just completely thrilled that you enjoyed it. *beams*

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	pauraque 2014-05-16 05:49 pm UTC (link)
	I like how neatly this weaves into canon. It makes you think about all the stories of the people who fought in the war, all their loves and hopes and motives that kept them fighting. Well done. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	alisanne 2014-05-22 12:44 am UTC (link)
	Thank you! nods And all those people are why Beholder has been such a fabulous fest. It allowed us to explore all those lesser known characters to our heart's content. :) I'm pleased you enjoyed it! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	flaminia_x 2014-05-18 02:40 am UTC (link)
	Wow, that was fantastic. Such a great back story. I adore your Pomona--best version of this character ever, imho--and the way you go back and forth between the different eras is amazing. Really fleshes out the story without overdoing it. Feels like it could and should be part of canon! Excellent work! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	alisanne 2014-05-22 12:46 am UTC (link)
	Thank you! The flashing back and forth was a bit of an experiment, so I'm pleased it worked. :) And I'm thrilled to hear the story seemed to work with canon. g I did try to make it fit, so yay! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	torino10154 2014-05-19 12:46 pm UTC (link)
	Oh, damn you. sniffs Marvelously woven tale. The non-linear format worked very well with this. The very first scene of Pomona and Garrick together flirting was just so very charming but you've slayed me with the rejection and depth of feeling that they both carried with them through the years. Truly marvelous fic. Great job. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	alisanne 2014-05-22 12:48 am UTC (link)
	Thanks, hon! I was pretty worried about the format, so yay that it worked. :) And I'm pretty thrilled that the emotions came through for you here. beams (Reply to this) (Parent)

woldy
2014-09-25 06:01 pm UTC (link)

This is just lovely! I adored the rich world you imagined, with Garrick creating the pre-made wands and the developing principle of the wand choosing the wizard, and there's a wonderful sense of history here. I enjoyed the way you wove the story together and reveal how Garrick's old-fashioned attitude drives Pomona away at first - the line about him being teachable was perfect. Great story!

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	alisanne 2014-09-29 12:26 am UTC (link)
	Thank you so much for the lovely comments. :) I'm glad you enjoyed this! (Reply to this) (Parent)