Porn and Cupcakes

These aren't great for making on the road, but when you're actually home and have access to your own kitchen, they're a very filling meal. Great for company, too.

( Locke's Sausage-Stuffed Mushrooms )

Cooking is an inexact science at best, for each person’s tastes differ. The following recipe has met with some favour among this misfit fighting unit, though Sabin complains that there is no meat to it.

The following is scaled for two people, yet may easily be expanded to feed more, though it is an inefficient meal to attempt to feed to a platoon.

1 lb. fresh asparagus (fresh asparagus is imperative; the dish will fail if made with frozen. You should endeavour to obtain young asparagus, no more than half the width of your pinky finger at most.)
1/4 tsp. lemon pepper
1/4 tsp. seasoned salt
1/4 tsp. garlic powder
2 tbsp. butter
3-4 oz. pasta, uncooked
Grated Parmesan cheese

(Do not permit overly helpful thieves--ahem, treasure hunters--assist in the preparation of this meal, as they are generally more interested in attempting to distract the cook.)

Salt the water for the pasta and set it to boil. While that is heating, break off the coarse ends of the asparagus, and cut it into approximately 1.5-inch pieces.

When the pasta water has boiled, add the pasta and cook according to its directions. I prefer to use spaghetti, but Edgar claims linguine is the only appropriate accompaniment. Regardless of your choice, prepare it as the package instructs.

While the pasta is cooking, melt the butter in a large skillet and add the asparagus and spices. Cook over medium-high heat, stirring occasionally, until the asparagus is tender-crisp but still bright green. (For asparagus as described above, this takes four minutes.)

Drain the pasta and divide onto the dishes it will be served on. I myself use bowls, as it makes it easier to perform the next step.

Divide the asparagus onto the dishes, and toss with the pasta. Top with Parmesan cheese according to your desires. Locke prefers his so doused that one can barely glimpse the green of the asparagus, while Edgar eschews cheese entirely. I myself am somewhere between.

Encourage the treasure hunter to take KP, as punishment for his interference earlier.