"I should have stopped to think, Jill. We were so focused on our target that we didn't think that we should take a moment, go to Dimitri or someone else on the council and let them handle it from there. But she.." Her throat felt tight and eyes burned. "All I could think was that you worked with her. She had your trust and I couldn't stand the thought of it."
The yell surprised Lissa too but it definitely got her attention. She understood the emotions Jill described because she'd been feeling them ever since her first meeting with Dick Roman when he'd called together the Vampire Authority and not long after that she'd received the first picture from him. With ever fiber of her being she wanted to send him to the hell he belonged.
"I didn't wan to listen to him. I promise you that I didn't, but I believed him. He knew exactly what to say to make me believe him." He'd used Jill against her, but Lissa wasn't going to tell her that. She wasn't going to repeat the things he'd said about her.
There were people who she knew probably blamed her. Whether or not they would outwardly say so wasn't likely, but she didn't want to see the looks or feel the stares. "I was sure you would never forgive me for what happened."